Month: October 2025

The perfect amount of thoughtfulness without going overboard. We gotchu.

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Originally posted at: Lisa Barlow’s Dark Red Metallic Turtleneck and Square Sunglasses

When I sat down to write this, my brain went into overdrive. TEN FAQs? Only 10?

Let’s just say the original list looked more like the Cheesecake Factory menu – 50+ questions deep. After three cups of coffee and some ruthless self-editing, we’re down to 10 of the most common, most relatable, and yes, sometimes hilarious questions I hear every week.

After all, I’ve been doing this for over 30 years – started in my 20s – and every week, I talk to clients who ask the same big one first:

“Am I too old to date?”

Spoiler: You’re not.

Where I Got the Idea for This List

But before we dive into the FAQs, here’s what inspired this list – all in the past two weeks:

A. Boulder, Colorado, Family Weekend

My daughter (a junior) shares a house with seven girls and one bathroom. I went in to brush my teeth and was intercepted by Alana, whispering, “Andrea, can you come in my room? I need to ask something.”

She shut the door and said, “I like two guys and I’m dating both. Is that wrong?”

Me: “Do you want me to answer as your friend’s mom or as a dating expert?”

Her: “Expert.”

(And thus, another coaching session was born.)

B. Hiking the Flatirons

A woman I just met confessed mid-trail that she’s thinking of leaving her husband – who’s walking five feet behind us. Enough said.

C. Dinner with Friends

After a few glasses of rosé, the single woman at the table blurted, “I’m terrified of rejection. Should I even try dating again?”

My 10 FAQs

See what I mean? Dating questions come at me from all directions – bathrooms, hiking trails, dinner tables – so here are the 10 most common FAQs about dating after 50.

1. Am I Too Old to Start Dating Again?

Absolutely not. It’s not about age, it’s about attitude. Optimism is way more attractive than any filter.

2. I’m Confident in My Career, My Friendships, My Life – So Why Do I Feel 16 Again When It Comes to Dating?

Because dating confidence comes from practice, not theory. You didn’t learn your job overnight, and you won’t master modern dating without a few reps.

3. Where Do I Even Begin?

Jump in. Don’t “dip a toe.” Give it a 3-month commitment. Dating isn’t like yoga – consistency beats flexibility here.

4. Is It Worth Paying for Premium Memberships?

Yes. You want skin in the game – and you want your matches to have it, too. Free apps are great for window-shopping, not relationship-building.

5. How Soon Should I Meet Someone in Person?

Within a week. Period.

Texting marathons kill chemistry. Real connection happens in voice and body language, not in blue and gray bubbles.

If they keep delaying the meetup, they’re either unavailable, nervous, or not serious – all three are time-wasters.

6. Is It OK to Date More Than One Person at a Time?

Early on? Absolutely. You’re gathering data, not getting married. Compare, don’t confuse. Once something starts feeling serious, be honest and narrow your focus.

7. What If I Don’t Feel Sparks Right Away?

We’re not 18 – and thank goodness for that. Sparks are fun, but comfort, curiosity, and compatibility are keepers.

Sometimes chemistry is instant… and sometimes it’s a slow burn that sneaks up on you. But if it’s not happening by date #3 or #4, it’s probably not going to.

8. How Can I Tell If Someone’s Genuinely Interested – Not Just Passing Time?

Watch for consistency, not charm.

“Let’s get together sometime” = lazy.

“Are you free Thursday?” = intent.

Consistency is the new sexy.

9. What If I Have Zero Interest in Marriage Again?

Then don’t.

You get to redefine what partnership means now – companionship, travel, laughter, shared playlists, not joint tax returns.

10. How Do I Make Dating Fun Again Instead of a Chore?

Drop the outcome obsession.

Every date is a story, not an audition. Go in curious, not critical. When you lighten up, your energy shifts – and people feel it.

Bonus Truth Bomb

Fun people attract fun people.

Bored people attract… Netflix.

Ready to make dating fun again?

Let’s chat. Book a free 15-minute call with me — we’ll see if you’re ready to jump in, and if I’m the right coach to help you do it right.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

What are your questions to a dating coach? What would you like to know that puzzles you about online dating?

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We know of life span, wingspan, and even health span. Now, Kerry Burnight, a professor of geriatric medicine and gerontology at the University of California, Irvine School of Medicine, has written Joyspan: The Art and Science of Thriving in Life’s Second Half. The premise of the book is beautifully simple yet profoundly important: a lengthy life span does not equal a life well lived. It is not enough to simply add years to our lives; we must also add life to our years. In other words, you have to like your life, too.

Aging does not have to be a downward slide, nor does it need to feel like a monumental crash. While our bodies and circumstances naturally change, how we meet these changes makes all the difference. With awareness and intention, we can choose to thrive rather than suffer. One powerful way to do this is to expand what Dr. Burnight calls our “joyspan,” the measure of how much joy, curiosity, and purpose we bring into our daily lives.

The good news is that you can increase your joyspan through small, consistent daily choices, regardless of your age or physical condition. Focusing on four essential pillars can make a lasting difference: Curiosity, Adjustment, Service, and Socialization.

1. Curiosity

Curiosity is the spark that keeps our minds alive and engaged. It fuels creativity, keeps us learning, and helps maintain cognitive function as we age. The desire to explore and the willingness to learn not only strengthens mental health but also brings delight to ordinary days.

Try this simple exercise: write down anything – really anything – that has piqued your interest lately. It could be as grand as wanting to study astronomy or as simple as wondering how bread rises. Choose one or two of these curiosities and give yourself permission to pursue them. Take a class, read a book, or simply ask more questions.

Curiosity is one of the greatest antidotes to stagnation. As the renown Buddhist nun Pema Chodron has said, “Curiously is the key to happiness.”

2. Adjustment

Life is change, and successful aging requires us to adapt. The ability to adjust gracefully to new circumstances is key to sustaining joy. When challenges loom, brainstorm creative ways to shift rather than resist.

Perhaps you loved running but a knee injury has made that impossible, then maybe consider swimming or biking instead. If your eyesight diminishes, audiobooks or podcasts can keep you connected to stories and learning. Adjustment does not mean giving up what we love. It means finding new ways to engage with what brings us meaning. Flexibility, both physical and mental, allows us to remain vibrant.

3. Service

One of the most reliable ways to increase joy is to give to others. People with a robust joyspan find meaningful ways, even small ones, to contribute. Service shifts our perspective from “what can I get?” to “what can I give?”

Everyone has something to offer, be it time, attention, patience, wisdom, humor, or kindness. If you’re looking for structured opportunities, programs like AARP’s Create the Good can connect you with volunteer activities in your area.

But service does not always have to be formal. You can offer a listening ear to a friend, a kind word to a neighbor, or mentoring someone younger. These can all be powerful acts of giving. When we serve, we strengthen both community and our own sense of purpose. It just feels good!

4. Socialization

Human beings are wired for connection. Social relationships are vital for our health and well-being, especially as we age. Isolation can harm both mental and physical health, while even brief moments of authentic connection can boost mood and resilience.

Devote time to cultivating new friendships and nourishing existing ones. Say yes to invitations, reach out to people you haven’t spoken to in a while, and explore community groups or clubs that align with your interests. Socializing reminds us that we are not alone, and joy shared is joy multiplied.

At its heart, joyspan is about practicing open-mindedness, optimism, and self-compassion. It invites us to embrace the good parts of aging, try new things, no matter how small, look on the bright side, and treat ourselves with respect and kindness. Each choice we make either expands or contracts our joyspan. Why not choose joy?

For more tips and tools on how to embrace the gift of aging, see my book Growing Younger Gracefully: Your Guide to Aging with Vitality, Resilience, and Pizzazz.

Let’s grow younger gracefully and measure our lives not just in years, but in joy.

Please Join the Conversation:

How do you measure your life? Do you measure it in health points, life points or joy points? What do you regularly do to increase your joyspan?

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Originally posted at: Bronwyn Newport’s Butterfly Dress