Month: October 2025

Plus, her go-to face wash and body cleanser.

You probably don’t know it, but if you are between the ages of about 45 and 65, a.k.a., midlife, you’re living atop the proverbial hill.

You are likely to be deep into your work and have family and community commitments. You are better at navigating life’s ups and downs, plus you know who and what you really care about – family, friends, health, and giving back.

Armed with decades of expertise and experience, you are ready to own life’s lessons and live!

Addressing the Old Rules

The rules of our culture tell a different story. The old story of midlife is one of crisis and the beginning of decline. According to this antiquated story, age means everything and life is written in three major chapters: youth which represents our time to grow and to learn; adulthood which represents working and having a family; and old age which means retirement and decline.

That way of life may have made sense in the early 1900s when life expectancy hovered around 50. It makes no sense now that we have added decades more.

New Rules for Midlife Living

These new years show up (mostly) as additional vibrant years in the middle – not the end of life. Those old rules and stereotypes no longer apply. It’s time to re-write the book of our life, complete with new chapters that tell the story of how our life actually flows. It’s no longer about our chronological age but rather, the life stage we are in.

My friend Lori (not her real name) is a great example. After raising three children with her husband and doing part-time bookkeeping work during those years, she decided to go back to nursing school in her mid-50s. She is now happily and gainfully employed in a career she had always thought about. The time was only right once her child-raising “stage” was complete.

I love to see her Facebook posts with her 20-something classmates; she is always right in the mix.

Writing Your Own Book of Life

Every life stage – marriage, career, having children, caregiving and going to school – adds new color and characters to our story. We continue to add new careers and become entrepreneurs late in life. We may have a second family, or a grandchild or two to add to our story. We retrain and reinvent ourselves. And when we re-read our book, we find that it is laced with insight and resilience that wasn’t possible before our Middlescence.

Middlescence

My goal, as a coach and author, is to empower you to make your Middlescence a stage of insight, growth, prosperity, joy, health and generosity. Like adolescence when a child begins to evaluate and see herself as separate from others, we get to re-evaluate ourselves. We get to figure out who and how we want to be when we “grow up” – sometimes for the second time! Mostly we have to let go of the old stereotypes of what midlife is supposed to look like.

Celebrities in Middlescence

Culturally, we tend to look at celebrities and how they seem to be leading a trend. Consider that actresses like Helen Mirren, Meryl Streep and Emma Thompson are at the peak of their careers and aren’t slowing down.

Sandra Bullock, George Clooney, Julia Roberts and Brad Pitt have rolled into Middlescence, all at the height of their stardom. They are actually reflections of what is happening all over the country. We are discovering these bonus years and are figuring out how to make them our best.

Three Truths About Life’s Newest Stage

We can make our middle years life’s most treasured stage and here is why.

We are happier! And that happiness continues to grow through our elder years. Studies show that beginning around the age of 46 our happiness starts to increase and continues to rise as we age.

We are living longer. This new longevity is creating opportunities we are just figuring out what to do with.

We have tools to help us grow during this stage! We are at an inflection point of personal evaluation and desire for more meaning in our lives. Much like an entrepreneur approaches a new concept, we are experiencing challenges and need to creatively address them. I’ll be sharing how to do just that in my upcoming posts, so stay tuned!

I want you to learn more about Middlescence – it truly is the coolest place to be! Check it out – The Middlescence Factor and join the movement!

Let’s Have a Conversation:

Have you made a career change or gone back to school like Lori? What have you decided to be when you “grow up”? What do you find most exciting about this next stage of life? Please share in the comments below.

Two recent pieces – one from McKnight’s Senior Living and another from JD Supra – grabbed attention with the same finding: 76% of older adults are not even considering senior living. Both were reporting on the University of Michigan’s National Poll on Healthy Aging, which asked adults aged 50 to 80 about their plans. The results were clear: most want to stay home, not move into an institution.

These aren’t two different studies. It’s the same data point echoed across sectors – senior living trade media and legal analysis alike. And the conclusion is hard to escape: assisted living is no longer the default model. It’s a system propped up by wealth, struggling labor forces, and Medicaid loopholes – and it’s looking more like a relic than a solution.

The Assisted Living Mirage

Let’s be blunt: assisted living markets itself as independence with a safety net. But what it really sells is a tiered system of haves and have-nots.

• If you can pay privately, you may get a well-staffed facility, resort-style amenities, and more choices.
• If you can’t, you’re left with cheaper facilities, thin staffing, lower standards, or you’re forced to stay at home under unsafe conditions until crisis strikes.

It’s not just expensive – it’s fundamentally inequitable. Medicaid rarely covers assisted living comprehensively, and when it does, it’s often at reimbursement rates so low that facilities cut corners. Many workers – who are overwhelmingly immigrants, women, and people of color – don’t even get adequate health coverage themselves. Imagine that: the very people providing intimate care for frail elders often can’t afford care for their own families.

The Workforce Is Cracking

Here’s the dirty secret that few in the assisted living industry want to say out loud: the system depends on immigrant labor.

Aides, personal care attendants, and low-wage frontline staff are the backbone of senior living, and those positions are rarely filled by native born Americans. Thus, instead of creating a system that cares for the senior citizens and the care personnel, we have created one that is heavily dependent on the immigrant workforce.

With less people to work in the senior care facilities, residents go without showers, medications get delayed, workers burn out and quit.

And who pays the price? Older adults, and the families scrambling to fill the gaps.

Medicaid: A Lifeline with Holes

For low- and middle-income older adults, Medicaid is supposed to be the safety net. But the patchwork of state-by-state waivers and underfunded home- and community-based services (HCBS) leaves huge gaps. Waitlists stretch into years. Coverage doesn’t match real-world needs. Families are forced into impossible trade-offs: pay out-of-pocket until you’re broke, or risk unsafe living arrangements.

Meanwhile, assisted living operators blame Medicaid for “low rates” while quietly catering to private-pay residents who can afford $6,000–$8,000 a month. The rest? They’re left out in the cold.

Why Aging in Place Wins

Here’s what the poll revealed at its core: people don’t trust assisted living. They see it as too costly, too institutional, and too risky. They want to stay in their homes and communities. And honestly? They’re right.

Aging in place is not just sentiment – it’s a survival strategy. With planning and support, it can deliver:

• Lower costs than institutional care, especially at lower levels of need.
• Greater dignity by keeping older adults in control of their environment.
• Stronger social ties by staying connected to neighborhoods, friends, and faith communities.
• Better outcomes when paired with the right home modifications, in-home care, and technology.

Steps Caregivers and Older Adults Can Take

So what now? If assisted living is a dying model, how do we make aging in place work?

Start Early

Don’t wait for a fall or hospitalization. Modify homes now – grab bars, ramps, no-step showers, smart lighting, widened doorways.

Tap into Community Networks

Explore “Village” models or Naturally Occurring Retirement Communities (NORCs). These grassroots, often volunteer-driven groups pool resources to provide rides, errands, and social connection.

Leverage Technology – But Don’t Rely on It Alone

Smart devices, medication reminders, and remote monitoring are great. But nothing replaces human presence. Technology should enhance, not replace, care.

Push for Policy Change

Demand expansion of Medicaid’s home- and community-based services. Insist on fair wages and benefits for direct care workers.

Build a Care Team

Aging in place is not a solo project. Caregivers need backup – siblings, neighbors, church groups, paid aides. Don’t wait until burnout sets in.

Assisted Living: Stop Pretending

Here’s the in-your-face truth: assisted living is not failing because people don’t understand it. It’s failing because people do understand it. They see the price tags, the staff turnover, the understaffed night shifts, the glossy brochures that don’t match the reality.

Older adults and caregivers are voting with their feet. They want something better than a half-institutional compromise. They want dignity, affordability, safety, and community. Assisted living can cling to the old model if it wants, but the future belongs to aging in place.

And the sooner we stop pretending otherwise, the sooner we can build a system that actually works – for everyone.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

Are you looking at senior living/assisted living options or have you decided to age in place? What are your caregiver options? Have you accommodated your home for aging in place?

Plus, her go-to face wash and body cleanser.

So, every year, just when I finally have my summer wardrobe nailed down, the morning finally comes when I wake up, and the air is a little too crisp for the sleeveless cotton sundress and leather slide sandals I’ve been wearing on repeat. Don’t get me wrong, I am all about fall and winter fashion. Bring on the warm scarves, beautiful boots, and cozy sweaters, and I’m a happy girl.

But making that transition from summer to sweater weather can be a challenge. I mean, it’s not like we go from hangin’ out by the pool to building snow people overnight. There will be lots of days where the afternoon feels quite like early September, but the mornings and late afternoons are leaning hard into October and November. Here are great tips and ideas to start moving away from your airy summer clothes to a more cozy fall look while keeping your confident style.

Do a Closet Edit

First things first, it’s time to start changing the type of seasonal clothing that hangs in your closet. Like I said before, I actually get excited about fall style. But especially after I passed menopause, the change of seasons has a habit of setting off a whole range of temperature swings for me. So don’t be too hasty in packing away all your short sleeves and dresses. Here is the trick.

Store Summer Outfits

It’s time to pack away anything that just screams ‘summer’. Shorts, bathing suits, maxi dresses. This is also a great time to donate anything that you realize you never felt amazing in. It doesn’t matter where you bought it or how much it cost; if it doesn’t make you feel confident when you wear it, it isn’t doing its job.

Use Transition Clothes

Create a rack that is your transition wardrobe. These are pieces that can bridge the gap between both seasons. Think denim, dresses with short sleeves, lighter scarves, and short-sleeved tops.

Take Out Fall Clothes

Now, bring in your fall clothes! Sweaters, cardigans, scarves, skirts, boots, jeans, and pants.

This way, no matter how the day’s temperature (and yours!) leans, you can reach for pieces to mix and match.

Now What? Master Layering

The best way to seamlessly transition from summer fashion to sweater style, is to use layering. Layering is exactly what it sounds like; adding or subtracting clothes in layers so that you feel confident and comfortable. But there are a few tricks. Try these…

Lightweight Over Lightweight

When fall temps just start to… well, fall, make sure you are layering lightweight over lightweight. Don’t jump first to heavy sweaters and jackets. Try denim jackets, vests, long line cardigans and lightweight blazers first. If you don’t have any, invest in one or two. Not only are they great during this transition time, they are also terrific for wearing inside during the winter.

Go for Breathable Fabrics

Use breathable textures close to your skin for those warm afternoons, and use cozy warmth as outerwear so it is easily removed when the weather calls for it.

Denim Is Always Stylish

Denim and cotton blends bridge both seasons beautifully, make sure you use them as an anchor for your style choices.

Mix-and-Match Summer-Fall Outfit

Not ready to put away that floral sundress or sleeveless blouse? Pair it with a cardi, tights and ankle boots for the cutest fall outfit.

Accessorize for Fall

As the weather gets cooler, start adding fall accessories with texture and warmer colors. Think scarves, boots and cozy sweaters.

Choose Items That Fit Well

The biggest trick to making layering work? Remember when you layer, don’t give into the urge to use something oversized as your layering piece. That will just add bulk and be unflattering. You want your clothing to fit well.

Transition Your Seasonal Colors, Too

If you look in any clothing catalog, during the summer you will see brighter, clearer colors, but as the fall styles emerge, you will see more muted, warmer and more earthy tones. But when you are still using some of your summer wardrobe, it can be tricky to decide which direction to go.

• Gradually start playing down the brighter colors of summer by adding pieces that are a more toned down version. Still wearing that short sleeve blouse with a bright pink floral design? Tone it down with a more autumnal dusty rose cardigan on top.
• Use accessories in the same way. Add a warm leather bag and booties instead of your straw tote and sandals.
• Use scarves in slightly warmer tones with cozy textures and patterns near your face to bring attention to this new season.

Remember, Transition Is Good

Just like the seasons (and us!) our style doesn’t disappear, it just transforms. With these simple tips for transitioning to fall and winter, you can keep feeling confident, and comfortable. And that’s what style is all about for me. Helping you to create a confident image to present to the world.

It doesn’t have to be perfectly polished. It just has to feel like you. If you want to learn more, please visit my posts on How to Reinvent Yourself, and Makeup for Women Over 50+. Both can help you to find that confident woman who is still in there, and help her come out and enjoy everything this season in life has to offer!

Let’s Have a Conversation:

Have you started transitioning your wardrobe yet? What summer items do you still wear? What do you like most about fall fashion?