Month: November 2025

If you’re a woman over 50, you already know the holidays hit differently now. Not just emotionally. Physically. One minute you’re buying gifts and juggling end-of-year deadlines; the next, you’re wiped out, and standing in your kitchen staring at yet another plate of cookies someone dropped off… and you’re eating one before you even realize you picked it up.

You’re not weak or lacking discipline. You’re living in a season filled to the top with constant temptation, and your body, brain, and hormones don’t respond to holiday treats the same way they used to.

And because this is Sixty & Me, and because this is the first article in a special holiday health series, I want to go straight to the truth – the kind no one says out loud:

If sugary snacks are on your counter, you will eat more of them.

Not because you “should know better,” but because exposure drives desire. And in this stage of our lives, that desire hits harder.

This matters for your health more than you think. Not because of calories or “being good,” but because sugar lights up your brain like a slot machine. The more you eat it, the more you want it. The more you want it, the more likely you are to grab something out of habit, not hunger. Especially when you’re tired, stressed, or holding up holiday responsibilities for everyone else.

And for women in their 40s, 50s, and 60s – the women who are holding careers, managing households, caring for aging parents, coordinating holiday gatherings, and trying to look composed while doing it – this cycle is brutal. It drains your energy. It makes your clothes feel tight. It messes with your sleep. And it leaves you wondering why you can crush it at work… but feel out of control in your own kitchen.

It’s not just you – you’re in no means alone.

And you’re not imagining it.

There’s a reason this keeps happening – and there’s a way out of it that doesn’t involve restriction, guilt, refusing to allow sugar in your house, or starting over in January.

Why the Holidays Feel Harder Now

Here’s the part most women never admit out loud: the holidays feel harder in midlife because everything hits differently now. Your body. Your hormones. Your emotions. Your stress levels. It’s not just about the food – it’s about what the season brings up, and how your body manages it.

Weight gain at this stage isn’t happening because you “lost control.” Hormonal weight changes, sleep disruptions, and stress hormones all make you more sensitive to holiday food triggers. Sugar feels louder. Carbs hit faster. Alcohol lingers longer. And emotional eating in midlife becomes easier to slip into because your bandwidth is stretched thin.

And then there’s the emotional load. You’re carrying the invisible labor of making the holidays happen – even if you live alone. If you do live alone, it can bring a different kind of heaviness: boredom, nostalgia, even loneliness when the rest of the world seems wrapped in family photos and matching pajamas.

So when the cookies call your name, it’s not a lack of discipline. It’s physiology. It’s circumstance. It’s the weight of a season that demands more from you than anyone sees.

And you’re still showing up. That makes you the hero here – not the problem.

What Actually Sabotages Your Holiday Well-Being

Most women think the problem is the food. It isn’t. The real villain is the mindset that shows up the moment the holiday lights go up.

You know the thought: “It’s the holidays! They only come once a year!”

And suddenly, everything becomes a free pass. The extra dessert. The second glass of wine. The handfuls of snacks you don’t even like but eat because they’re there. It feels innocent… until you wake up puffy, tired, or frustrated with yourself.

This is how the holiday weight cycle starts – not because you’re doing anything wrong, but because the season tricks your brain into thinking your choices don’t matter right now. After all, you’ll “just start over in January,” right?

Here’s the truth: the treats you genuinely love can absolutely be part of your holiday. I want you to enjoy them. But too many of the ones you don’t love? Those are the moments that make you feel physically off, not festive.

The good news is that small choices – the ones that honor how you want to feel – add up. You don’t have to be perfect. You just don’t have to abandon yourself for the season.

How to Feel Better Without Ruining the Fun

Let’s be clear: I don’t want you skipping the foods you love. Food is meant to be enjoyed – and this isn’t a diet lecture. This is about mindful holiday eating – making choices that let you enjoy the season and simultaneously wake up feeling human the next day.

Here are a few holiday health tips for women who want pleasure and comfort:

Make Yourself Pause

First, pause before you grab something. Just ask yourself one simple question: “Do I even want this?”

Not, “Should I be good?” Not, “Is this allowed?”

Just: Do I actually want it?

This one question cuts through autopilot eating fast.

Consider the Aftermath

Second, notice how you want to feel later. Most women over 50 don’t want to end the night bloated, foggy, or wired from sugar. When you check in with the version of yourself who will exist later that evening – even for two seconds – it becomes easier to make choices that support you instead of drain you. These small check-ins are some of the simplest wellness tips you can use.

Create a Real “Cushion”

Third, add something grounding. A glass of water before wine (and even between glasses!). A real meal before a party. A few minutes of quiet before guests arrive. These tiny habits aren’t glamorous, but they create healthy habits for women over 50 that actually work in real life.

You don’t need willpower. You need awareness – to get out of autopilot. And you already have that skill – you just haven’t been taught how to use it during the holidays.

Want More Support? Here Are Two Helpful Resources

If you’re craving more holiday health support so you can feel steady, not stressed, I can offer you two resources that can make this season a lot easier.

For a deeper, behind-the-scenes look at why the holidays feel so overwhelming – and how to navigate them without slipping into the all-or-nothing trap – you can listen to my Holiday Health Series Podcast episode: Food and Body Triggers. It’s a quick, practical dose of midlife holiday support you can play on your next walk or drive.

And if you want a structured holiday wellness guide that walks you through the exact steps to stay grounded while enjoying the treats you love, you can get The Feel-Good Holiday Playbook here.

A Compassionate Reframe for This Season

If you take one thing from the above, let it be this: you don’t need to be perfect to feel good during the holidays and after. You just need to stay connected to yourself. Holiday stress and eating don’t have to control how you feel. Small, steady choices count. How you check in with yourself, what you say yes to, what you say no to – these are real midlife health habits, and they’re available to you right now.

And if you slip? You’re human. It’s ok. One moment never ruins anything.

Use the tools that help you stay present. Choose the treats you actually enjoy. Practice mindful holiday eating without guilt or rigidity.

And remember – this is only the first article in this special Sixty & Me series. More simple, supportive topics on managing your health during the holidays are coming in the weeks ahead.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

Where do you feel the biggest pull between wanting to enjoy the season and wanting to feel good in your body?

I should have taken Robert Frost’s advice and followed The Road Not Taken. Instead, I took the path well-trod – what I thought was a safe and predictable route.

But nothing is ever really safe, is it? What’s that saying, “Life is what happens when you’re busy making other plans.” Take me for example. While following my path to a ‘normal and predictable’ life, by my 50s I had lost everything – my home, savings, status among my peers, and, finally, my compass. I guess I hadn’t been paying attention.

Looking back, I think my Creator was trying to tell me I was made for better things and throwing me a curveball that would rock my world – and not in a good way – would get my attention. Or maybe it was. “If I take everything away from Wendy, maybe she’ll create a life she’s worthy of.”

Starting Over in Mid-Life

Beginning again in my mid-50s was a journey in humility and courage. I read self-help books until I could have started my own mobile library. I watched YouTube videos informing me I was doing it all wrong and, if I listened to them, my future would be fast tracked to victory. These writers and practiced YouTubers were all successful business and life coaches, psychologists, motivational speakers, and the occasional charlatan. I figured with their impressive credentials, their success would rub off on me, or at least reveal the wisdom I was seeking.

I had, like so many others, bought into the $40 billion self-help industry. Why wouldn’t I? They mesmerized me with their ill-defined promises of success and happiness with books, self-improvement courses, and speaking engagements – all very motivating but unsustainable. The bigger the brand the worse the results. Gee, some of these guys were giving advice to Oprah. Something told me I was barking up the wrong tree.

After a few weeks or months, I would return to my old ways, and nothing changed except my bank balance because I had bought the book, purchased the seats for the show or paid for that instructional course that did not come with a guarantee. The results of what I was seeking didn’t show up. I obviously wasn’t smart enough and these gurus were just better than me. Time to give up.

A Fortuitous Miracle

In my search for resurrection, I came upon two books. These books ultimately changed the direction of my life.

I read American writer Elizabeth White’s book, Fifty-five, Unemployed, and Faking Normal. Elizabeth had also been struggling after being laid off, smiling when she really wanted to cry, and draining her bank accounts to stay afloat. I saw a lot of myself in her, but she had a suggestion that I hadn’t considered – a tribe of like-minded friends. She believed that companionship and sharing makes everything look less bleak and miracles possible.

I also discovered Anne Lamott’s book Bird by Bird. Anne recounted her childhood with humour and honesty rather than writing a saga of past disfunction and sadness. Her beautiful prose made me want to walk in her footsteps and write with her optimism and style.

It was at that moment I turned around and walked back to Robert Frost’s fork in the road, where the two roads diverged, and took the road less travelled and yes, it has made all the difference. I started taking my writing seriously, improving it by taking courses at a local writing centre, and changed my depressing memoir into a book of inspiration.

I began chronicling my journey from lack and despair to joy and success; a book that would encourage readers to pack up their regrets and lost opportunities and forgive themselves. My book would be a resource that would brighten the bleakest day by providing tools, ideas and companionship to help readers achieve their thrilling goals. And I would do it by achieving my own goals and sharing what I’d learned with others.

The Virtual Kitchen Table

I invited three imaginary girlfriends to share a coffee with me at my kitchen table. They would be my crew of middle-aged women warriors; my confidantes and wing women until I was brave enough to share my story with real flesh-and-blood people.

This kitchen table discussion became the inspiration for my book, A Life Postponed. Instead of a memoir or a book on “how I fixed myself and you can too,” the concept would be a conversation among women who were sharing similar leaky boats. It would be just the four of us sitting around my table, coffees in hand, dumping our collective, dismal circumstances on the tablecloth to be gathered up and placed in the trash receptacle at the back door. From now on, our discussions would be about coming up with real, tangible solutions to get the most out of our second half.

“Friendship … is born at the moment when one man [woman] says to another, “What! You too? I thought that no one but myself . . .”
― C.S. Lewis

So here are a couple of suggestions for you. You can start your own kitchen table revival group – real or imagined. Get it all out, off your chest, and then start focusing on what exciting futures you will create for yourselves.

Not quite there yet? No worries. I invite you to a seat at my tribe’s virtual kitchen table. We discuss practical ideas, out-of-the-box jobs and volunteerism, resources, and above all, your new tribe. Don’t think for a moment you are alone.

“Whether you think you can or you think you can’t – you’re right.”
―Henry Ford

The choice is yours. A leap of faith takes courage and work. Are you ready?

Follow my YouTube channel Encore Living, join my Facebook group Women Navigating Their Second Half or visit my website wendyrichards.ca. Send me an email at wendykrichards@icloud.ca to receive the Introduction: What I Know for Sure from my new book, A Life Postponed.

Let’s Discuss:

In what ways has your life changed after 60? What curveballs have you been thrown? Where did they lead you? Which self-help books did you read to get back on your feet? Which of them actually helped you?

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The holidays can magnify feelings of loneliness and isolation – especially when you’re navigating them as a single woman after years of celebrating as part of a couple.

As a dating coach for women over 50, I hear the ache in women’s voices when they talk about spending the holidays without their partner and feeling disconnected from their married friends during what used to be their favorite time of year.

They wish they could explain what it’s really like to face empty chairs at holiday dinners, couples-oriented parties, and family gatherings without their spouse sitting across from them.

Over the years, single women divorced and widowed have shared their thoughts about the holidays. I’ve put together the 9 most common concerns I’ve heard from them about navigating the holidays as a single person they wish they could share with their married friends.

My hope is that this opens everyone’s eyes – single and married – to be more compassionate and aware of what the holidays can feel like when life changes and you find yourself celebrating on your own instead of as part of a couple.

#1: We Know You Mean Well When You Tell Us What a Great Catch We Are or That We’ll Find Someone Special Soon

But when the holidays arrive and we’re still alone, those reassurances can make us feel like we’ve failed somehow.

What helps most is when our married friends simply acknowledge that the holidays are hard, and they reach out to let us know they’re thinking of us.

#2: Please Don’t Assume We Want to Be Alone – Or That We’re “Doing Fine” Just Because We Haven’t Reached Out

The holidays amplify feelings of loss and loneliness, and sometimes we withdraw because we don’t want to burden anyone or feel like a third wheel.

If you haven’t heard from us, it means more than you know when you reach out with a specific invitation – not just, “Let me know if you need anything,” but something like:

“I’m hosting a casual dinner on December 20th and would love for you to join us.”

#3: We’d Love to Still Be Included in the Holiday Gatherings We’ve Always Enjoyed

We miss connecting with our couple friends during the festivities we used to share.

We were part of the group for a long time, and it hurts to suddenly be excluded from traditions we helped create just because our relationship status changed.

Even if it feels a little different now, your invitation says, “You still matter to us.”

#4: If We’re Dating Someone New, Please Give Him a Chance at Your Holiday Events

We know it can be an adjustment to see us with someone else – especially during a season filled with memories of our previous partner.

Whether this man is in our life for six months or becomes a long-term partner, it means a lot when you make an effort to welcome him.

Your warmth helps us feel less isolated during a time that can already feel tender and uncertain.

#5: Please Know That Certain Questions at Holiday Gatherings Can Catch Us Off Guard – Especially in Front of Others

Questions like, “Are you seeing anyone?” or “How are you spending the holidays?” are often asked with genuine care, but they can put us on the spot when we’re already feeling vulnerable about being single during the holidays.

A simple, “It’s so good to see you,” or “I’m really glad you’re here,” can feel incredibly comforting and gives us space to share what we’re comfortable sharing, when we’re ready.

#6: We Can Spend a Lot of Holiday Evenings Alone

This is especially true if our kids live far away or are celebrating with their other parent or in-laws.

An invitation like, “Let’s do dinner together sometime during the season – bring your husband too,” can mean the world.

We’re not trying to step into your marriage. We simply miss the warmth of couple friendships and the comfort of being part of a familiar circle.

#7: The Holidays Highlight Just How Much We’ve Had to Handle on Our Own

That might look like rattling around in a house that now feels too big, adjusting to a downsized space without room for all our decorations, creating new traditions from scratch, or learning how to show up at the holiday events as a single woman after years of being part of a couple.

If you have a partner to share both the joy and the stress of the season with, that truly is a gift.

We’re doing all of this alone, and this is a time when your support and thoughtfulness really matter.

#8: Many of Us Are Strong, Successful Women – But That Doesn’t Mean We’re Not Hurting

We’ve learned how to put on a brave face, and we often act as if everything is fine at holiday gatherings.

Sometimes, when we feel close and safe with you, it all pours out – we share more than we meant to, simply because we don’t have many places where we can say how hard this season really feels.

We don’t mean to overwhelm you. We’re just deeply grateful to have a friend who lets us be real.

#9: We Treasure Our Friendship – And We’re Here for You, Too

We know the holidays can be stressful even when you have a partner: family drama, financial pressure, packed schedules, and of course the endless to-do lists.

Please don’t feel like you can’t share your struggles with us just because we’re single.

We still want to be the friend who listens, helps, and shows up for you. Our friendship matters to us, and it absolutely goes both ways.

Now It’s Your Turn…

Does this resonate with you – whether you’re single or married? I’d love to hear your thoughts. Agree? Disagree? Have something you’d add? Share in the comments below.

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