Month: November 2025

Plus, it has an early Black Friday deal as we speak.

There are “cracks in the relationship.”

Your best years aren’t behind you – they’re waiting to be designed. Here’s how one simple framework can help you build a retirement that feels full and alive.

Something Is Missing – and You Feel It!

You’ve been looking forward to this for years. No more deadlines. No more “urgent” emails. No more juggling everyone else’s needs before your own. Finally – your time is your own.

But then… it happens. Somewhere between “I can finally relax” and “Why do I feel a little lost?” – something’s off.

You’re not unhappy. You’re grateful. But that deep spark you expected? It’s flickering.

You’re not alone in feeling this way.

I hear this every week from women who are bright, capable, and newly retired: “I thought I’d be blissful. So why do I feel bored, or aimless, or invisible?”

Here’s the truth: there’s nothing wrong with you. You didn’t miss a memo or fail Retirement 101. You just weren’t taught the psychology of happiness – especially the kind that evolves once the busy structure of work fades away.

That’s where the PERMA model comes in. It’s the missing link between financial security and emotional fulfillment – a research-backed framework that shows how to feel vibrant and grounded at every stage of life.

What Is PERMA, Really?

PERMA comes from psychologist Dr. Martin Seligman, often called the father of positive psychology. It stands for five ingredients that consistently show up in people who thrive:

P — Positive Emotion: The ability to feel joy, gratitude, and contentment.

E — Engagement: Getting lost in what you love doing – that delicious “flow” where time disappears.

R — Relationships: Feeling connected and valued by others.

M — Meaning: Knowing your life stands for something that matters.

A — Accomplishment: The confidence and pride that come from growth and progress.

Think of PERMA as a recipe for well-being. You don’t need every ingredient in perfect balance – but when one goes missing, life starts to lose flavor.

I first discovered PERMA about five years ago when I was directing the Center for Rural School Health & Education. Our team partnered with schools to strengthen student and educator well-being – and PERMA became our north star.

These days, now that I’m retired, I think about PERMA all the time. It even guides how I plan my weeks:

P: How am I starting my mornings so I feel calm and grateful?

E: When will I set time aside to try one of those art projects (and use the mountain of supplies I bought)?

R: When am I spending real, quality time with my husband and friends?

M: How can I support women in designing their next chapter?

A: And can I close all three exercise rings on my watch every day this week? (My watch says no; but hope springs eternal.)

PERMA also forms the foundation of my Bold Retirement Method – the coaching framework I developed to help women move from feeling “off” or uncertain to designing a chapter that feels alive, connected, and deeply fulfilling.

Why PERMA Matters in Retirement

Retirement changes everything – your routines, your relationships, even your sense of who you are.

When your structure disappears, you can lose engagement.

When your role disappears, you can lose meaning.

When your colleagues disappear, you can lose connection.

It’s not that you’re doing something wrong. It’s that your old sources of fulfillment have drifted into the background – and you haven’t built the new ones yet.

That’s exactly what one of my clients discovered recently. After decades of political activism and creative work, she found herself frustrated – still busy, but oddly unfulfilled. Together, we explored what still energized her and what no longer fit her evolving self.

Her big realization? She wanted to focus on what she can do now – creative projects that light her up, political work that feels natural, time with family that fills her heart instead of her schedule. That shift from “I should” to “I choose” completely changed how she felt.

That’s PERMA in action – realignment, not reinvention.

The Five Elements in Real Life

Here’s what each part of PERMA might look like in your own life.

P – Positive Emotion

Start small. Savor your morning coffee. Notice the sunlight through your kitchen window. Send a thank-you text to a friend. Gratitude is medicine for the soul – it grounds you in what’s already good and fuels your optimism for what’s next.

E – Engagement

Do something that makes time disappear. Gardening, quilting, yoga, watercolor, writing, pickleball – whatever absorbs you completely. Flow is joy in motion.

R – Relationships

Curate your circle. Choose people who bring energy, not drama. New friendships often appear where curiosity lives – a class, a hiking group, a volunteer project.

M – Meaning

Ask, “Where can I make a difference now?” Sometimes meaning comes from mentoring a young woman, serving on a committee, tending a community garden, or sharing wisdom you once took for granted.

A – Accomplishment

Keep learning and growing. When I retired after 30 years as a social psychologist, I took a huge leap and became a certified life coach at 57. I had to learn everything from scratch – how to coach, build a website, and write articles like this one. It was humbling, scary, and absolutely exhilarating. Accomplishment in retirement isn’t about competition – it’s about aliveness.

Bringing It All Together

PERMA isn’t theory – it’s a map for designing a retirement that truly fits you. When you build your days around what helps you flourish – joy, curiosity, connection, meaning, growth – life starts to hum again.

You stop filling your time and start fulfilling your life.

If you’d like to explore this idea of finding purpose in small, everyday ways, you might enjoy my article, The Secret to Finding Purpose in Retirement? Start Smaller Than You Think – it’s a lovely reminder that meaning often grows from the quiet moments of daily life.

Want to Explore What Lights You Up?

If this idea of flourishing in retirement speaks to you, I created a free Retirement Vision Starter Kit to help you put PERMA into practice – and then take it further through my Bold Retirement Method.

The first activity helps you see where you’re thriving and where things feel flat, using PERMA as your guide. The rest helps you design your next chapter – one thoughtful step (and one spark of clarity) at a time.

Download it free here and start shaping a life that feels joyful, meaningful, and entirely your own.

Let’s have a conversation:

Which part of the PERMA framework feels strongest for you – and which one do you want to nurture more in this next chapter?

Have you noticed that your balance is not quite as good as it used to be? Do you sometimes feel unsteady when you’re walking? Perhaps you find yourself looking down at the ground more than you would like.

You may have
seen the impact of falls on friends or family members – the bruises and even worse, the bruised
confidence and possibly the broken bones.

If so,
then you’ll know how important it is to maintain our balance. And one of the
best ways to do so is with specific balance training exercises.

Balance
training can sound complicated, but it’s one of the easiest forms of exercise
to do.

What Having Good Balance Means

Our
balance is important because it keeps us upright, helps us to stand, walk and
take the stairs without falling. So, it’s a physical aspect, but it’s also
much, much more. As with so many things, though, we don’t think about it until
we start to lose it.

What Good Balance Gives Us Is Confidence

The more
you improve your balance, the more confident you will feel every day doing all
the things that you want and need to do.

This
confidence means you can plan trips without worrying about going down the
stairs in public places (especially where there’s no handrail).

It allows
you to walk down the street and concentrate on speaking with your friends or
looking up at the buildings or the trees around you.

It enables
you to travel further afield, to gardens, stately homes or foreign cities where
there might be uneven steps or cobblestones.

When you
aren’t worried about your balance, you can walk tall and make the most of every
day with joy and without anxiety.

Doing Exercises to Improve Your Balance

One of the
best ways to improve your balance is with regular balance training exercises. I
want to give you the confidence to get started with exercises to improve your
balance. Here are the three reasons why balance training is simple and easy to
do.

It Doesn’t Matter Where You Are

Firstly,
you can do balance exercises anywhere. You can do them at home (in your
kitchen, in your bedroom, anywhere really!).

You can do
them if you are staying at a friend’s house or in a hotel room on holiday. You
can even do your balance exercises in your cabin when you are cruising round
the Norwegian fjords!

All you
need is enough space to stand up and to take a couple of steps. You should also
have something to hold onto, in case you feel unsteady. That way, you know you
can challenge yourself without worrying about falling over.

No Props Needed

The second
great thing about balance exercises is that you don’t need any equipment. There
are a few balance exercises where we might introduce some equipment that
provides an unstable surface for you to stand on (perhaps a foam pad). If you
do need this, it’s light, inexpensive and portable.

However,
there are hundreds, even thousands, of balance exercises you can do that
require absolutely no equipment at all.

Not
needing heavy, bulky or expensive gear makes doing balance exercises so much
easier.

You Only Need a Couple of Minutes

Last, but
not least, you don’t need much time at all for these exercises. You can do enough
balance training to improve your balance in a few minutes a day. In fact, you
will see better results from doing a few short daily sessions than from doing one
longer session once a week.

It’s one
of those things that achieve more when you make them a daily habit. Which is
good news as finding half an hour to do something when you are busy can be
quite difficult. Setting aside five or ten minutes can feel much more
manageable.

Getting Started with Balance Exercises

So, we can
do exercises to improve our balance anywhere, with little or no equipment, and
we only need a few minutes! What are you waiting for?

Here’s one
of my favourite balance training exercises – try it with me now:

Tandem (tightrope) Walk – watch the video:

If you want more exercises to improve your balance, take a look at our free, four-week Balance
Boost video series. These online videos are short, clear and easy to
follow at home. They will help you feel steadier on your feet and more
confident every day.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

What
balance exercises are you doing already? Where do you do them? If you haven’t
started doing balance exercises yet, why not and what is stopping you? Please
share your thoughts and concerns below.

For many of us, the holiday season isn’t exactly a Hallmark movie. In fact, many of the women I work with say it’s more like Chaos with a Side of Carbs!

The holiday chaos menu is extensive. Here are some stressful situations women struggle with all the time.

• The “just one more helping” food pusher who won’t quit.
• The relative who critiques your weight.
• The sibling rivalry that reactivates the minute you walk through the door.
• The family member who talks politics or turns everything into a debate.
• The pressure to find the “perfect” gifts for everyone, even though nobody knows what they want.
• The never-ending logistics of who’s hosting and cooking and who’s secretly offended.
• The emotional minefields of family dynamics, guilt trips, or old wounds resurfacing.
• The guilt of wanting to spend time alone or do your own thing.

What Is It About the Holidays That Makes Us Feel Out of Control Around Food?

The holidays can be a joyous time, but they can also trigger cravings, emotional eating, and weight gain.

The key is to recognize the real issues that are going on – and to know it’s not really about the food.

For most women, overeating has more to do with what’s going on in their heads and their hearts than it does with the food.

Negative beliefs in our subconscious mind, and emotions stored in our bodies, are big triggers for cravings and emotional eating.

For example, maybe you have a subconscious belief of “I have no control.” If you believe you lack restraint or that someone or something else determines your course, you may have a hard time controlling how much you eat because you don’t believe you have control.

Or perhaps you have emotions of being unsupported or taken for granted stored in your body. If you feel unsupported, treated with indifference, or not appreciated, you might find yourself taking comfort in second or third helpings of stuffing or pie.

Feelings of guilt, shame, overwhelm, and anxiety also trigger us to use food to cope with the stress of the holidays. Before you know it, you’re seeking out that box of candy, the cookies from the neighbor, or the leftover pie.

Heal Your Heart and Your Mind to Stop Cravings, Emotional Eating, and Holiday Weight Gain

What if this year was different?

What if you felt in control of your eating and your emotions didn’t send you to the pantry or fridge, looking for carbs to comfort you?

The good news is that you CAN do this.

When you let go of your negative emotions and your negative beliefs, you also let go of the triggers that cause your cravings and emotional eating in the first place.

And that’s the best holiday gift ever!

Like Maggie, who created a belief that holiday foods were “neutral” for her… and released 5 pounds over the holidays instead of gaining them.

Or Nanette, who created a belief that she could be calm at Thanksgiving. She didn’t have to use holiday cocktails or chocolate to feel better… and she didn’t gain weight.

Or ME!

A few years ago, I created a new belief about desserts. It’s working so well that last year I “forgot” to bring home some pumpkin pie from our Thanksgiving gathering to (secretly) eat later that night.

The best news…

I didn’t even care!

The pie was totally “neutral” for me. No charge. Not calling my name. No regrets.

Are You Ready to Learn More?

The techniques I teach my clients are very powerful and very effective for stopping cravings and emotional eating, losing the weight, and keeping it off.

I use these techniques myself and I love sharing them with women!

To learn more, I warmly invite you to watch my FREE masterclass: How to Stop Cravings and Emotional Eating. At the end of the class you’ll have the opportunity to schedule a FREE consultation with me to learn more about how releasing your emotional baggage and changing your beliefs can help you lose the weight and keep it off.

Many blessings to you for a happy and peaceful holiday season!

Let’s Have a Conversation:

Have you found your triggers around food? Is it hidden emotions, being neglected and unappreciated, difficult relationships or something else?