Month: November 2025
Divorced at 60? 5 Steps for a New Beginning
After five years in limbo, my divorce became final just a week ago. In this long process, I learned that endings unfold slowly, inviting us to move with their rhythm instead of rushing ahead. The final judgment brought both sadness and relief, loss and liberation. True healing means letting opposites coexist, feeling each emotion come and go, and above all, offering yourself compassion.
Step One: Allow Grief
Grief is not a straight path. It circles back, reminding us that being vulnerable does not mean we are failing; it means we are human.
Honor your feelings through simple acts: light a candle, write a letter you will never send, or walk beside water.
Grief is clearing; making space for what comes next.
Step Two: Reconnect with Yourself
A shared life’s end can leave uw uncertain, but it is also a chance to rediscover who we are.
Ask yourself: What do I love? What sparks my curiosity? What do I want?
Try something outside your usual routine. Travel somewhere you have never been, take a class, or return to something you loved as a child.
Find ways to feel joy: dance in the kitchen, sing in the shower, listen to music, do daily drawing.
Reconnection takes time. Each experience and remembered joy reveals a freer, more authentic you.
Step Three: Cultivate Presence and Self Trust
Years of compromise can make it harder to hear our own voice.
Practice returning home to yourself by walking in nature, taking slow breaths, and building a habit of meditation or journaling to invite clarity and calm.
Begin each morning with gratitude and deep breaths. When doubt arises, remind yourself, I can trust me now.
Healing asks only for patience and self-tenderness.
Step Four: Rebuild Belonging and Friendship
Divorce often leaves a gap where belonging once was. Feeling untethered or alone is normal, but we can create new spaces of connection.
Reach out in small ways, like smiling at the gym, joining a meetup or book club, or chatting with someone at a coffee shop.
Say yes to invitations and seek out shared interests.
Even simple interactions can plant seeds of friendship and remind you that you are not alone.
Small acts of openness gently rebuild your circle and help you rediscover belonging.
Step Five: Create a Life That Fits
Divorce is not only an ending; it is an opening to create a life that truly fits who we are now.
Ask yourself: What does peace look like for me? What does freedom feel like?
Maybe it is quiet mornings, travel, volunteering, or new pursuits. Let your choices affirm your new chapter. Cook a beautiful meal, rearrange your home, keep a notebook of dreams.
Each act declares, This life is mine.
Closing Reflection
Healing is a spiral, not a straight path. You revisit old pains with new strength and compassion.
At 60, life’s twists and turns offer wisdom. Endings do not diminish us; they reveal us.
To hold grief and hope together is to live with open arms and trust life itself.
Take your time and be gentle with yourself. You are exactly where you need to be, in the process of your new beginning.
Let’s Have a Conversation:
How has divorce affected your mindset? Have you become more positive? How are you filling your days? What motivates you now?
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Poem: Everybody Dies; Nobody Wants to
Have you pondered, dear one, what comes after goodbye?
What waits in the wings when it’s your time to fly?
If you’re over sixty, or older than that,
No doubt you’ve posed questions in many a chat.
You’ve been to funerals, more recent this year,
And now you wonder, through memories and tears:
What’s next for me? Where do I go?
Is it cold? Is it quiet? Is it fast? Is it slow?
If death makes you squirm or gives you a fright,
You’re not alone when awakened at night.
But what if, dear one, it’s not something to dread?
What if it’s not an end – this thought sticks in your head.
There’s a tale to be told, it’s light-hearted as well,
‘bout a happy place nicknamed as “Earth’s Grand Hotel.”
This poem’s from an old soul, a wise one named Theo,
Who dropped by to share what he thought you should know.
According to Theo, Earth’s a grand learning place –
Filled with souls on the grow, each in their own space.
Each checks in to grow, to laugh, and to cry,
When finished, you check out again, but you don’t just die.
No, you don’t vanish as a puff of smoke,
You leave worry behind about rules that you broke.
And you head to a spot where love is the rule,
A heavenly realm… a kind of Soul School.
No tests. No grades. No flunk and no pass,
No judges who frown as they lead judgment classes.
It’s where you reflect on the life that you’ve led,
On the love that you gave and on words said and unsaid,
You reflect how you lived through the good and the rough,
When life gave you lemons and made things so tough.
You may have learned patience, or how to be kind,
or how to forgive and bring peace to your mind.
If you are sixty or older, your life is not through,
Even if you’re closer to one hundred and two.
And you’re thinking of endings, or what’s just ahead,”
Let Theo remind you: “There’s nothing to dread.”
You are not broken. Nor are you done.
Your soul is eternal, like the sky and the sun.
Death’s not a goodbye. It’s a door just ajar –
And through it you’ll travel, a light, brilliant star.
So, breathe now, dear reader. Relax every part.
Put love in your pocket and joy in your heart.
Treat life as a class with your soul as a student,
Be curious, kind, and perhaps a bit prudent.
Don’t rush to be perfect or fix every flaw –
Live with more laughter and stand back in awe,
of the birds in the trees and above the blue sky.
Give thanks for the journey before your goodbye.
When you step through the door, guess what you’ll see?
A welcome! A party! A soul jubilee!
Your story’s still growing, still flowing, still bright –
So fill your next chapter with joy and delight!
And hold a thought that has always been true,
The best goal in life is being the “you-ie-est you!”
Let’s Have a Conversation:
What are your views of dying? Do you dread the moment or have you come to peace with mortality?
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