Month: November 2025

I’m going to start with a simple question: “Is the world changing?” Yes, it is, especially when it comes to family. Family was an intricate part of our lives up until the early 1970s. The years beyond the 1970s took us from the “nuclear family” structure into diverse paradigms. This was influenced by social and economic changes, including the feminist and civil rights movements, rising divorce rates, and an increase in single-parent households and dual-income families. 

Meanwhile, diverse family structures became more common, with more single-parent households and the rise of blended families due to higher remarriage rates. Economic factors also contributed, with more women entering the workforce out of necessity, leading to greater blurring of traditional gender roles in some families. 

How Did It Affect Me? 

This change of social constructs had a direct impact on how I raised my sons as a single parent. 

There was a time in my life when I was following the social norm of the world. As I look back at that time in my life, I realize that I was just like others today, following what we as Christians call worldly ways.

When my eldest son turned 20 years of age, I sent him on his way. Why? Because everyone said I should. I am not pleased with myself as I look back on that decision. He struggled and had a hard time with it. But he made it by the grace of God.

If I could go back and rewrite that page, I would never send him out of the house. Instead, I would give him a fighting chance.

That is why my youngest son lives at home. I am a more mature Christian woman than I was when raising those young boys alone years ago. I no longer live my life according to the world’s standards. 

The current social and economic climate is dismal at best. People are unable to afford mortgage, rent, insurance, car payments, etc. Jobs are scarce and housing is almost nonexistent. The number of unhoused people of all ages is increasing; many are turning to drugs and alcohol in despair.

In this situation, offering my son to stay at home has helped us both, and I’m happy I made that decision.

What About Self-Interest?

For years, we were more interested in sending our children out the door when they turned 18. Why? Because the social norm said that was what we should do. The social norm says, “It’s time for me to have my she cave or man cave” or “I’m turning your bedroom into an entertainment room.”

There is nothing wrong with having aspirations for self. I am not saying my way is the only way. I’m saying here is a loving alternative. Here are some steps to get you started: 

1. Not all parent-child relationships are black and white. Sometimes living in the same space is impossible. If that’s not your situation, consider how your adult child is living. Are they able to meet basic needs? 
2. How about self-evaluation? Evaluate yourself as a person and/or parent. How did you do through the years? There is always room to grow. Which areas could you improve?
3. Ask hard questions in your self-evaluation. What did you do wrong? Have you confessed this to your adult child and sought forgiveness?
4. Here is a tough one. Ask your children to evaluate you as a parent. Ask for honesty. I know this is going to be very hard, but keep on keeping on. 

When Adult Children Live at Home

I don’t care about trendy advice like making my son pay bills, buy his own food, or tit for tat. All I wish for him is to love the Lord Jesus Christ abundantly, and I know all else will fall in place. 

I am happy to say that my youngest son, who is living at home, has been a light to my darkness. He shines in every area of my life. He makes sure I’m protected and folks aren’t trying to take advantage of me. He makes sure I am moving and grooving.

There was a time in my life that I wanted to remarry. But as time went on, I changed my mind. The Lord has blessed me with sons. They will protect their mom and take care of me as I begin to age and need a little assistance. My eldest son contacts me almost daily. He is a light to my darkness as well though he lives far from me. I am grateful that he is happy to talk with me and calls me. 

We are a family, and we help each other as needed. Through the grace of the Lord Jesus, I’ve come to realize that family connection should be honored and cherished, and that’s exactly what my sons and I have been doing.

Reflection Questions:

What are your thoughts about adult children living at home? Tell the community about your journey.

Style Stealers

!function(d,s,id){
var e, p = /^http:/.test(d.location) ? ‘http’ : ‘https’;
if(!d.getElementById(id)) {
e = d.createElement(s);
e.id = id;
e.src = p + ‘://widgets.rewardstyle.com/js/shopthepost.js’;
d.body.appendChild(e);
}
if(typeof window.__stp === ‘object’) if(d.readyState === ‘complete’) {
window.__stp.init();
}
}(document, ‘script’, ‘shopthepost-script’);

Turn on your JavaScript to view content

Originally posted at: Heather Gay’s Pink Sweater

Say “hello” to longer, healthier hair.

For the last few years, it felt like someone was always talking about Roth conversions. Whether it was finance shows on TV, newsletters, or seminars, this message was a constant: “Convert now while tax rates are low. Time is running out!”

This was likely motivated by the Tax Cuts and Jobs Act of 2017 (TCJA), which made many changes to our tax system, including lowering federal income tax brackets. But since these tax cuts were scheduled to end on December 31, 2025, many people rushed to move money from their traditional Individual Retirement Accounts (IRA) into Roth IRAs in order to “lock in” low tax rates before time runs out.

But as often happens, especially with tax law, the rules changed.

This summer, Congress passed the One Big Beautiful Bill Act of 2025 (OBBBA), which made the temporary lower tax brackets permanent. That one change has altered the landscape around Roth conversions.

So, what does this mean for people over 60 or those nearing retirement who want to make well-thought-out and smart decisions about their retirement money? Let’s go step by step.

A Quick Look Back: Why Was There So Much Emphasis and Discussion About Roth Conversions

Under the old 2017 tax law, the lower tax brackets were only going to last until 2025. This resulted in media and financial professionals urging people to convert as much as they could before the 2025 deadline, because once you put money into a Roth IRA, you get:

• Tax-free growth
• Tax-free withdrawals (once rules are met)
• Reduction of future taxable income.

These are all great benefits that even I want.

But putting the cart before the horse, or in this instance the marketing, should not overshadow the bigger picture. And that is, Roth conversions work best when they are part of a long-term strategy as opposed to racing against the clock.

The 2025 Update to the Tax Law: What Changed with the OBBBA

The OBBBA made many changes to our tax system, including making the 2017 lower tax brackets permanent. There is no more countdown clock that turns to zero on December 31, 2025.

This does not mean that Roth conversions no longer have a place in the retirement planning process. It simply means the “sense of urgency” to convert large swaths of money from traditional to Roth in a short timeframe is now gone. One can now take a breath and take a step back to determine if a slow, steady, intentional conversion process is a better fit for one’s long-term tax picture.

For many nearing and in retirement, this is a welcome shift.

Why Might Roth Conversions Still Matter After 60

Although Congress has removed the deadline, Roth conversions can still offer potential benefits, and now there is more time to create a thoughtful approach. Here’s how:

They May Reduce Future Required Minimum Distributions (RMDs)

The start of RMDs can increase income enough for some people that they end up in a higher tax bracket in their 70s and 80s. But reducing the traditional IRA balance before RMDs start can help decrease that rise in income.

They May Lower Future Taxes for a Surviving Spouse

Many married people file taxes as married filing jointly. But the surviving spouse will likely need to file as single, which can result in higher taxes even on the same income. Slowly converting the traditional IRA balance earlier can help lessen this shift.

They May Provide Flexibility for Future Spending

Having three account types – traditional (made with pre-tax dollars), Roth (made with after-tax dollars), and taxable accounts (after-tax dollars) – gives you more options. You can decide where to pull money from and how much from each account based on each year’s tax situation.

They May Help If You Plan to Leave Money to Beneficiaries

Leaving a Traditional IRA to heirs in very low tax brackets can make sense. But many people prefer leaving Roth IRA assets because the withdrawals by beneficiaries are tax-free (assuming the rules are followed).

The key word with all of these is “may.” This is because none of these benefits are guaranteed, as tax laws can always change, but these are reasons many people consider Roth conversions.

Ages 60–72: A “Golden Window” for Tax Planning

There are many tax planning opportunities throughout life, but for many people the years between retiring and beginning RMDs can result in a unique planning opportunity. During this phase in life:

• Income from work may have decreased
• Social Security benefits may not have started
• RMDs haven’t started
• Overall taxable income may be lower now than later in retirement

Any or all of these can allow one to start partial Roth conversions without necessarily being pushed into a higher tax bracket. Sure, not everyone has this “golden window,” but if you do, it can be helpful.

Why Multi-Year Tax Planning Is So Important

Now that there is no longer a concern about income taxes increasing at the end of 2025, one can focus on their individual strategy.

A multi-year plan allows one to look ahead at:

• What might their income be at age 62, 67, or 73?
• What is the best age to start collecting Social Security?
• When RMDs begin, what tax bracket could one be in?
• What are the estimated healthcare costs?
• Does one prefer paying taxes now or later?

This type of roadmap can help bring clarity.

A yearly tax review can help you stay on the road.

Although there can be big shifts in income, say when you retire or when you start RMDs, there can also be smaller income shifts from year to year. That’s why many people reevaluate Roth conversions yearly, often in November or December when they have a clearer picture of:

• Total income
• Tax bracket
• IRMAA threshold
• How much “room” the have for a Roth conversion without going into a new tax bracket or IRMAA threshold.

While tax planning software can’t predict the future, many financial planners who focus on tax planning can help estimate their clients’ likely Modified Adjusted Gross Income (MAGI) and how different Roth conversion amounts might affect their tax bracket or Medicare premiums.

And this yearly review can help support staying on one’s multi-year strategy.

The IRMAA Cliffs: It’s Not Just Tax Brackets to Think About

I often hear people talk about staying in a certain tax bracket, but there is another important factor: Income-Related Monthly Adjustment Amount (IRMAA).

IRMAA is the Medicare surcharge that increases your Part B and Part D premiums based on your income. But unlike income tax brackets, IRMAA thresholds have a cliff, which means even one dollar over can result in higher Medicare premiums for the entire year.

So, planning should look at not only avoiding higher taxes but also avoiding other surprises like higher healthcare costs.

What a Well-Thought-Out Conversion Strategy Can Look Like

Now with the new tax law making the current lower rates permanent, there is more time to reflect on what is appropriate, but more importantly, what you are comfortable with. A thoughtful approach might include:

• Smaller Roth conversions over multiple years.
• Staying in a certain tax bracket.
• Staying in a certain IRMAA threshold.
• Aligning Roth conversions with Social Security decisions.
• Reflecting on what the surviving spouse will need.
• Thinking about legacy planning and what you want to leave.

Not only should the right plan look at multiple years as opposed to the current tax year, but it should also support your individual life and long-term goals. And if you aren’t sure about the numbers, a financial planner who focuses on tax and estate planning can go over the numbers to help you think things through.

A Few Questions to Think About

• Looking forward, are there any years where I might have lower income and more tax planning opportunities?
• How close am I to the next tax bracket and next IRMAA threshold?
• Once I start RMDs, how will my taxes change?
• Would I feel more comfortable with gradual Roth conversions as opposed to large ones?
• If I’m married, what would my spouse’s tax situation look like if I pass first?
• What, if any, assets do I want to leave to my beneficiaries?
• Does planning out multiple years provide more confidence and clarity?

Let’s Begin a Conversation:

What are your biggest concerns about Roth conversions? How will the permanent tax brackets affect your financial situation?

Last week, I went to my ex-husband’s 85th birthday party at a local tavern. He looked terrific, and I was happy to see the turnout. We bought each other a beer, shared a hug and reminisced about meeting 40 years ago at a very similar pub.

When I left the party, I pushed aside a whiff of melancholy and thought instead about how much my life has changed since my marriage imploded seven years ago, when the fear of being alone almost paralyzed me. Truth is, I stayed in an unhappy marriage for too long because I couldn’t imagine being alone. Who would I take care of? Who would need me?

As it turns out, I’m a dog person – not strictly a cat person like my ex said we were. These days, it’s just my dogs who need me, and they return the favor with unending enthusiasm. I am not advocating for pets if you are lonely. They are a huge responsibility. But they do make us feel loved and less alone.

Putting a Label on It

The fear of being alone is known as autophobia. When aloneness is forced on us, like in a sudden separation or the death of a partner, it creates a void which is tricky to fill. It also creates an opportunity to know ourselves better if we aren’t frozen by fear. I remember those staring-at-the-ceiling moments. How can this be happening to me? What am I going to do now? Woe is me.

We aren’t ready to make big decisions in those times. I know I wasn’t. I didn’t know if I wanted to rent or own. Heck, I wasn’t sure I wanted to stay in Florida. Impulsively, I bought an adorable camper, my she shed on wheels. I parked her near the beach and realized I’d been living someone else’s dream for way too long.

On one of many sleepless nights staring at the camper ceiling, I checked email and found a scholarship invitation to a conference by author Mike Dooley. I felt like the universe was conspiring with me as I filled out the application. In two weeks, I was on my way to Denver for the conference based on his book, “Infinite Possibilities: The Art of Living Your Dreams.”

That was a turning point. What if I’d been afraid to take the chance? I’d done some crazy things since then. I’ve gone back to college. I took sailing lessons. I joined the community concert band. I volunteered as a gate lady for Pittsburg Pirates’ Florida Spring Training games. I faced my fears and started a new career as I muddled through what turned out to be a good divorce. Yes, there is such a thing.

When Fear Gripped Us All

When we first heard of a fast-spreading virus, I became very weak and found it hard to walk. But it wasn’t Covid. I had to quit spring training when my doctor found a tumor on my spine. The timing was perfect. Even spring training shut down because of the pandemic, and I watched it all on TV in a hospital room where I could have no visitors. Spoiler alert: today, my health is perfect.

Everyone was afraid. Me, the doctors and nurses, all the patients. My family, hundreds of miles from me, was so afraid for me they didn’t want to tell my almost 90-year-old mom for fear she’d worry herself sick. Girl, I needed my mom then more than ever.

I wish she hadn’t seen the pandemic. We had a big birthday party planned for her. Instead, she celebrated locked alone in her assisted living apartment. She did get out before she died and drove her scooter to a nearby brewery to meet my brother for pizza and beer. She looked so happy in that last photo. Her fear was gone.

Fear of Falling Again

I fell hard for the guy who helped me home from the hospital and checked on me while I recuperated. We didn’t date because the world was shut down. The only place I went for six weeks was daily chemo as I grew stronger. That’s when I got my pup Lassie and started walking again.

With him I felt comfortable. It was nice having someone to cook for and care for. We fell in love as a family and moved in together.

But it was too soon for me. I still needed to learn how to be alone. He’s got his own place now, but we’re still best friends and share custody of two Australian shepherds. We usually spend part of each weekend together sharing meals, sports and chores. But we each appreciate our own space.

There’s so much to enjoy about living alone: coming home and finding everything just as we leave it; cleaning the house or playing music in the middle of the night if we can’t sleep; eating what and when we want or going out instead. Having a cocktail and a good meal sitting at the bar beats a dating app any day in my book.

It is likely to happen to all of us sometime in our lives: being suddenly alone. It takes getting used to. Then it becomes bearable. Then it feels like freedom. I’m never one to say never, but I wouldn’t be afraid to.

Cheers!

Let’s Reflect:

What has alone-ness brought you? Do you know yourself better now?