Month: December 2025

How’s Your Balance This Side of 60?

How’s Your Balance this side of 60?

I have a good friend named Katie who is a stretch therapist. She explains her job as helping her clients with exercises and treatments that improve flexibility, range of motion, and mobility.

Katie confides that most of her clients come to her once they have seen a physical therapist and have been given a list of exercises, and then go home and don’t do them. That’s when they call Katie for help.

Katie recently offered a workshop for people aged 55 and older. She invited me to attend and to be her practice ‘dummy’. I told her I could do that for sure!

She began her workshop by asking us. “How’s your balance? Did you know our balance is a reflection of our overall health?”

She then laid me out on her portable table and began using my body parts to demonstrate the way she treats concerns we might have as we age. Things such as stiffness, soreness, post hip/knee replacement exercises.

The Research Is Unsettling

Which, by the way, did you know that according to the National Institutes for Health, between 2000 and 2019, the estimated annual volume of hip replacements increased by 177% and that of knees increased by 156% on average, with an expected increase in the future. 

And, according to the same research, 35% of us older folks are going to experience a significant fall. And traumatic falls rise as we age; up to 45% once we are over 70.

“So, as you can see,” Katie went on to explain, “our balance is a key indicator or our current and future well-being, especially as we age.

Katie said that a research study found that people who couldn’t stand on one foot for 10 seconds were nearly twice as likely to die in the next 10 years. Holy cow, I had no idea!

I thought this was going to be an inspiring presentation!

So, my friends, have you given much thought to the danger of us getting out of bed each morning?

Katie’s mission for the workshop, she explained, was not to frighten us, but to help us become more aware of the importance balance plays in our lives.

Can We Improve Our Balance?

As her demonstration continued, Katie included a number of helpful tips and techniques for improving our balance – things like strength training, and posture stretches. “We can all improve our balance, our strength and our mobility,” she encouraged us. She went on to have us stand on one leg, using a chair as needed for our balance. Yeah, we didn’t all do well with that. But as she reminded us, we have to start where we are at.

Simple Exercise to Start with

And in case you are interested… here’s a short video to help you get started with some balance exercises:

Katie reminded us that our falls and injuries don’t necessarily come from doing crazy things, but rather simple things, like tripping on a loose rug, or our pet, or slipping in the bathtub.

Getting Out of the Bathtub

“Is it just me,” I wondered, “or has anyone else in here worried that someday they might slip in the bathtub; and someone in your house is going to have to try and figure out how to drag your sagging, flabby, injured naked body out on the bathmat?”

Katie explained the basics on the correct way to get out of the tub. Who knew we would one day need a strategy for existing our bathtub? But just in case, here’s another helpful video that shows you how.

Walking in a Straight Line

Then Katie mentioned something that I couldn’t get out of my mind. She said,

As we get older, we tend to spend more time walking in a straight line.

Hmmm, I walk in a straight line? I hadn’t noticed that. Have you?

Ever since our workshop ended I have been paying more attention to how most of us seniors walk. Yep, it’s in a straight line. It’s really noticeable when you see older people walking with young children. The children walk backwards, do cartwheels, spin around, skip, hop scotch, and twirl around on their toes. They often stop and climb on whatever looks like an adventure and of course if there is a mud puddle… yes, they jump right in it. And though they sometimes fall and skin their knees, then after a quick kiss from mom; they are off again to climb, jump and run.

How different that is for some of us oldies! We worry that if we fall, we won’t just need a kiss, but more like an ambulance. So, we just walk in a straight line.

I asked myself, so when did it happen…? When did I make the transition from doing my cartwheels to walking in a straight line?

Playing It Safe

The more I pondered this thought the more I realized what a great analogy this is for our lives as we age. We less often veer off our straight path, we are more cautious…. we are reticent to try new things or even to do things that we once were great at. I used to be pretty good at twirling on my toes.

On a recent podcast, Angela Duckworth, author of Grit, was interviewed about her research. She talked about a term she called ‘fixed mindset’. She said this is when we don’t believe we can change or grow, and we are fearful of failure or a setback, so we avoid risks, become stagnant and then we live our lives contracting rather than expanding.

So then, I guess my walking through life in a straight line puts me in the category of having a fixed mindset?

But honestly it doesn’t seem like a bad thing to want to play it safe, does it?

But wait! I don’t want to live a life trapped inside my comfort zone… you know, that safe place that just keeps contracting!

Is This How We Want to Live?

I came across these words of Janet Bray Attwood from her book The Passion Test. Here’s what she says about the idea of playing it safe.

“Have you ever noticed people who play it safe aren’t as enthusiastic, energetic, full of passion, on fire, and excited about their lives as your friends who dance around on the edge and totally go for their dreams?”

Staying on our familiar sidewalk walking in that straight line can feel safe; but is that the way we want to live out our precious lives? I don’t know about you, but I still want to go for my dreams…

Which brings us back to where we first started this conversation.

How’s Your Balance?

That’s what I think we are up against, my friends… finding balance…

I suppose we should learn common sense strategies, such as standing on one foot, doing strength training, working on our posture, having bathtub existing strategies and calling someone like my friend Katie if we need extra support. And we also want to live our lives on fire; full of energy, and passions. And yes, maybe even twirling around the edges.

After all; our balance is a reflection of our overall health, especially as we age.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

Where are you on the balance scale? How do you manage to keep your balance? Do you do specific exercises?

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Lindsay Hubbard’s Button Side Jeans

Lindsay Hubbard’s Button Side Jeans / Summer House Instagram Fashion December 2025

Lindsay Hubbard attended the New York Knicks game recently and wore the cutest pair of jeans. They had a button side trim which I thought put a fun spin on a regular pair of pants. Which makes them a total must have in your shopping basketball

Sincerely Stylish,

Jess


Lindsay Hubbard's Button Side Jeans

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Photo: @lindshubbs


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Originally posted at: Lindsay Hubbard’s Button Side Jeans

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Real Housewives of Potomac Season 10 Episode 12 Fashion

Real Housewives of Potomac Season 10 Episode 12 Fashion

The girls continued their festive family fun day on last night’s episode of The Real Housewives of Potomac. They also released chic new confessionals that are bold and mark a big statement. As always, they proved they know how to show up dressed to the nines. And you can too by stealing their style below.

Best in Blonde,

Amanda


Keiarna Stewart’s Black Gold Embellished Confessional

Keiarna Stewart's Black Gold Embellished Confessional

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Angel Massie’s Black Halter Confessional Dress

Angel Massie's Black Halter Confessional Dress

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Gizelle Bryant’s Metallic Criss Cross Maxi Dress

Gizelle Bryant's Metallic Criss Cross Maxi Dress

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Gizelle Bryant’s Pink Long Sleeve Shirt Dress

Gizelle Bryant's Pink Long Sleeve Shirt Dress

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Angel Massie’s Red Gingham Midi Dress

Angel Massie's Red Gingham Midi Dress

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Gizelle Bryant’s Rose Lace Off The Shoulder Confessional

Gizelle Bryant's Rose Lace Off The Shoulder Confessional

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Ashley Darby’s Tweed Fringe Confessional Jacket

Ashley Darby's Tweed Fringe Confessional Jacket

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Stacey Rusch’s Denim Embellished Dress

Stacey Rusch's Denim Embellished Dress

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Wendy Osefo’s Denim Cream Feather Jeans

Wendy Osefo's Denim Cream Feather Jeans

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Tia Glover’s Denim Shirt Dress

Tia Glover's Denim Shirt Dress

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Gizelle Bryant’s Red Cutout Bandage One Shoulder Confessional

Gizelle Bryant's Red Cutout Bandage One Shoulder Confessional

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Angel Massie’s Mint Off The Shoulder Confessional Dress

Angel Massie's Mint Off The Shoulder Confessional Dress

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Stacey Rusch’s Black Rhinestone Cutout Confessional

Stacey Rusch's Black Rhinestone Cutout Confessional

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Keiarna Stewart’s Black Flower Appliquè Confessional Look

Keiarna Stewart's Black Flower Applique Confessional Look

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Keiarna Stewart’s Purple Baroque Confessional Look

Keiarna Stewart's Purple Baroque Print Confessional Look

Click Here for Additional Stock in Her Top

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Wendy Osefo’s Red Collared Confessional Look

Wendy Osefo's Red Collard Confessional Look

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Gizelle Bryant’s Scalloped Sequin Confessional Look

Gizelle Bryant's Scale Sequin Confessional Look

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Gizelle Bryant’s Pearl Embellished Confessional Look

Gizelle Bryant's Pearl Embellished Confessional Dress

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Originally posted at: Real Housewives of Potomac Season 10 Episode 12 Fashion

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Silver Splitters: Choosing Happiness After 50

Silver Splitters Choosing Happiness After 50

Who would have thought lawyers would find an untapped market in silver splitters? If you’re wondering what that means, it’s another phrase for gray divorce – a term coined by Dr. Susan L. Brown and Dr. I-Fen Lin in 2012 to describe marriages that end after the age of 50.

The Numbers Tell the Story

According to the U.S. Census Bureau, divorce rates among people over 50 have roughly doubled since 1990. While divorce rates in other age groups have stayed stable or even declined, couples in their 50s, 60s, and beyond are increasingly choosing to part ways. And interestingly, women are often the ones initiating these later-in-life divorces – perhaps because they’re more proactive, or simply because they now have more independence and options than generations before them.

As a woman in her 50s, I’ve seen this firsthand among friends and acquaintances. It’s never easy, but what I’ve observed is transformation: women who emerge happier, freer, and more themselves. Honestly, who wouldn’t crave that kind of transformation after being unhappy for so long?

A Number of Reasons Drive Silver Splitting

So, let’s explore why the silvers are splitting?

Less Stigma

Divorce isn’t the scandal it once was. Pop culture – from the movie The First Wives Club to the high-profile separations of Bill and Melinda Gates, Hugh Jackman and Deborra-Lee Jackman or Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban – has normalized it. Bringing the idea into the open has a way of stripping the taboo of its sting.

Financial Independence

Women today often have careers, education, retirement savings, and the ability to support themselves. They aren’t bound by the same economic dependence their mothers faced. We don’t carry the same constraints that the generations of women once had to navigate.

Empty Nest Syndrome

Children can be the glue holding a marriage together. Once they leave, couples sometimes realize they no longer share common ground – or even affection. So, when the chicks fly the nest, one may realize that they may want to kick the big bird out of the nest as they are no longer needed or wanted. When the binding force disappears, the relationship or nest can fall apart.

Infidelity

After decades together, betrayal can feel unbearable, and forgiveness less likely. Infidelity doesn’t just “break trust,” it changes the entire emotional architecture of a relationship. Unspoken truths may be exposed in such a fashion as to re-evaluate the relationship. It is then one must decide if they are aligned enough to continue with the marriage or separate.

Retirement Realities

Spending every day with someone whose company you don’t enjoy, or whose retirement dreams clash with yours, can be a breaking point. When one finally reaches their breaking point, something inside you shifts in a way that doesn’t shift back.

If you’re looking for ways to find joy in retirement with your spouse, read Retirement: How to Find New Joy with Your Spouse.

Longer Life Expectancy

“Till death do us part” once meant fewer decades together. Now, with longer lives, people want those years to be joyful – not endured in misery. They question turns from “Can I endure this?” to “Do I want to endure this?” Women realize they can have a life that feels good and not one that simply looks good from the outside looking in.

Of Course, Gray Divorce Isn’t Easy

Ending a marriage after decades means grieving not just a partner, but a shared history. Financial recovery is harder at 50+. But for many, the choice is worth it. Making sure that your future years are happy by ending a marriage should not be seen as defeat; it can be a reckoning.

This post is not suggesting one course of action over another. This is a personal choice. However, if you’re considering this path, be smart: consult an attorney and a financial planner. Lean on friends and family or seek support groups and therapists if needed. Most importantly, remember that choosing divorce later in life isn’t failure – it’s choosing yourself.

Life is too short to spend it unhappy. If you decide to split, may your new chapter be refreshing, freeing, and full of joy. It may not necessarily be filled with romance, it might be friendship, companionship, travel, community or simply peace. But it will be yours to design. Here’s to silver splitters everywhere who are brave enough to put their happiness first.

Let’s Talk:

What pushed you toward divorce? Do you think it was a good decision? What have you learned about yourself since?

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The Permission You’ve Been Waiting For: Stop Managing Everyone Else’s Emotions

The Permission You've Been Waiting For Stop Managing Everyone Else's Emotions

I’m sitting in my therapist’s office, crying into a tissue that’s basically disintegrated, and he asks me a question that stops me cold:

“Whose anxiety are you actually managing right now?”

I start to answer, “My daughter’s,” but the words catch in my throat. Because the truth – the uncomfortable, rage-inducing truth – is that I’m managing my own anxiety about my daughter’s anxiety.

If you’re over 60 and still emotionally tethered to your adult children’s every mood swing, this might be the most important thing you read today.

The Emotional Manager Role We Never Applied For

Nobody sat us down and said, “Your job for the next 40 years is to monitor everyone’s emotional temperature and adjust accordingly.” We just… started doing it. Probably when they were infants and actually needed us to regulate their emotions because they couldn’t do it themselves.

But here’s what happened: we never stopped.

Our kids grew up, moved out, had their own lives, but we’re still over here monitoring their emotional weather like some kind of feelings meteorologist, constantly preparing for the next storm.

She’s stressed about work? You’re stressed about her stress.

He’s fighting with his partner? You’re losing sleep over his relationship.

They’re struggling financially? You’re drowning in anxiety about their choices.

We became emotional managers for entire households that aren’t even ours anymore.

The Health Cost of Other People’s Feelings

Let me share some uncomfortable data with you: chronic stress is linked to literally every health issue that plagues women over 60. Heart disease. Diabetes. Autoimmune conditions. Cognitive decline.

And what creates chronic stress? Living in a constant state of vigilance about other people’s problems.

My blood pressure was through the roof. My doctor kept increasing my medication, but the real problem wasn’t medical – it was emotional. I was carrying the weight of four adult people’s emotional lives in addition to my own.

After I finally started setting boundaries around emotional management, my blood pressure normalized. My sleep improved. The tension headaches that had been my constant companion for years? Gone.

The prescription I needed wasn’t pharmaceutical. It was permission to stop managing everyone else’s feelings.

What Changes When You Hand Back Their Emotions

The first time I said, “That sounds really hard, and I trust you to figure it out,” my daughter was shocked. Hurt, even. She’d learned that calling Mom meant handing over her uncomfortable feelings and receiving back either solutions or shared anxiety.

When I stopped accepting delivery of her anxiety, she had to learn to sit with it herself.

Was that comfortable for me? Absolutely not. I had to sit with MY anxiety about her anxiety, which turns out is much harder than just jumping in and trying to fix everything.

But here’s what happened over the next few months:

She stopped calling me every time something went wrong. Not because we weren’t close, but because she learned she could handle her own emotional weather.

She made better decisions. When I wasn’t there to absorb all the emotional fallout, she had to think through consequences before acting.

Our conversations became more enjoyable. Instead of crisis management sessions, we actually talked about ideas, memories, dreams. We laughed again.

The Drama Dies When You Stop Feeding It

Some of our adult children have learned that emotional drama gets them attention. Not consciously, necessarily, but they’ve learned the pattern: express extreme emotion, and Mom will drop everything.

When you stop being the audience for the drama, something interesting happens: the drama decreases.

I’m not saying their problems aren’t real. I’m saying that the way they present those problems to you is often amplified by the response they’ve learned to expect.

Turns out, when you’re not getting an emotional hit from Mom’s anxiety, regular problems feel more manageable.

The Boundary That Sounds Mean but Isn’t

“I can see you’re really upset, and I’m confident you’ll figure this out.”

That sentence feels impossible to say when you’re used to jumping into emotional rescue mode. It feels cold. Unloving. Like you’re abandoning them.

But let me ask you this: Is it loving to teach your adult children that they’re incapable of managing their own emotions? Is it kind to model that women should sacrifice their health and peace to absorb everyone else’s distress?

The boundary isn’t about not caring. It’s about caring in a way that actually helps them grow instead of keeping them dependent.

What You Get Back

When you stop managing everyone else’s emotions, you get your life back.

You have energy for your own interests. You can make plans without wondering if you’ll have to cancel because of someone else’s crisis. You sleep through the night.

You remember who you are outside of being everyone’s emotional support animal.

Your relationships with your adult children actually improve because they’re no longer built on codependence and resentment. You can enjoy them instead of constantly worry about them.

And here’s the beautiful part: they grow up. Finally. They develop emotional resilience. They learn to self-soothe. They become actual adults instead of overgrown children who still need Mommy to regulate their feelings.

The Practice

Start small. The next time an adult child calls with a problem, try this:

Listen without immediately problem-solving. Acknowledge their feelings without absorbing them. Express confidence in their ability to handle it. End the conversation before you take on their anxiety.

It will feel unnatural at first. You might feel guilty. They might feel abandoned. Sit with that discomfort. It’s the growing pain of a healthier relationship.

The Permission Slip

You don’t need anyone’s permission to stop managing everyone else’s emotions. But if you’re waiting for it, here it is:

  • You are allowed to have your own emotional life without carrying everyone else’s.
  • You are allowed to be unavailable for other people’s drama.
  • You are allowed to trust your adult children to be competent, capable humans.
  • You are allowed to prioritize your health and peace.
  • You are allowed to stop rescuing.

The crisis you’re afraid will happen if you step back? It probably won’t. And if it does, they’ll handle it. Because they can. Because they’re adults.

The real crisis is what the constant emotional management is doing to YOU.

Stop managing. Start living. The rest will follow.

If you struggle in this area, check out my Marriage and Motherhood Survival Method to help you break free from the rescue and regret cycle.

Let’s Get Uncomfortably Honest:

  • How many times this WEEK have you dropped everything for an adult child’s ’emergency’?
  • How many of those emergencies actually required your immediate intervention?
  • What did rescuing cost YOU? (Sleep? Work time? Your own plans? Your health?)
  • What might have happened if you hadn’t intervened?
  • Be honest: Were you rescuing them, or were you rescuing yourself from the discomfort of watching them struggle?

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