Month: January 2026

You may be very near or have entered your retirement years. Is that good or bad? Did you float to this time in your life without acknowledging that it is near? Did you see it coming and embrace it with gusto? How you feel now falls in one of two categories: I have planned for this moment, or I haven’t planned for this moment.

I Planned My Next Chapter 

We should be embracing this time in our life where we see the end of one chapter and the start of a new chapter. A new chapter that allows moments of freedom. 

I look forward to beginning that chapter in my life. I have planned for that blessed event – retirement. Or better yet, the Lord helped me plan for the blessed event. The steps in my life lead up to the moment when that retirement day arrives. 

Does that mean retirement planning starts late in life or early in life? I believe retirement planning should start early in life. But does it? Are we too young to think about the latter years? Or, does it mean we are focused on other things in our life? 

Retirement planning for me was something I thought about in my early years, as I had parents that focused on retirement, and I always wanted to be like them.

However, my plans just didn’t work out. Let me share with you how the direction in my life changed.

I was headed in a different direction in my 30s. I wanted to do what I wanted to do. I wanted to start my business as a Life Coach full time while raising two sons as a single mother. This was my thought after I completed my Doctorate.

What Did I Do?

I quit my job and started my Life Coaching business (Life Strategies Coaching Firm) full time. My sister, an attorney, told me not to sign a two-year lease for office space. I did anyway. How did this work out for me? Not the best. I managed to hold out for almost two years.

What was I thinking? That’s it – I wasn’t thinking, I wanted what I wanted. There is nothing wrong with having ambition. But as a Christian, we need to be in concert with the Lord on our journey in this difficult world. We are to walk with the Lord and not in front of him. I was in front, and nothing went as planned, regardless of how well I thought I had it figured out.  

The Lord put a wrench in my plan by slowing my momentum. I could no longer support my business and my family, financially. I was back to searching for full-time employment. Lots of doors were closed to me as a Registered Nurse. No one would give me a job and not even easy jobs that should have been a coup. I was getting desperate. 

Finally, the Lord Opened the Door! 

The Lord opened the door, and I went through it. The income was poor and many of my family/friends said to find another job. But I held on, and I rocked that job. I knew I was where I was supposed to be, and I was at peace. I kept walking along that path with the Lord; he kept showing me the way. He showed me how to live a life trusting him to provide for me and my sons. Remember, I said the income was way below my usual pay grade. 

He gave me good gifts. Somehow the money was always there to pay bills and fix things in the house. 

That job led to many wonderful things, including longevity at one employer, excellent retirement benefits, and eventually, a good salary. Also, I gained expert knowledge to help me in my role as a Wellness Coach for my future business. 

I Started Jumping Ahead, Again!

When I finally decided I was ready to retire and I needed to come up with a date, it never came to be. It kept changing from one date to the next. My eldest son would say, “Mom, you said four years, now it is six years.” The truth is, I did not bring the Lord into my retirement planning. I was running wild, again! 

One day, I stopped and prayed and asked the Lord to help me. I stopped thinking about retirement, and I focused on the here and now. We are not promised one day to the next. When I finally settled into walking with him on this issue – one day, the Lord told me that I can plan for retirement. I had peace and a clear action plan with the Lord’s blessing.

What Does That Look Like

Make sure you have reduced your debt or plan to pay off your debt before you retire. Why go into retirement with mortgage, personal loans, and car loan payments?

• Plan to pay these off. 
• Have a savings plan, 401k, 403B, or Pension. You should have been paying into these plans long before you reach retirement age 61-up. If you have not done this, reach out to a financial planner. 
• Include Social Security and Medicare benefits. 
• Make sure you include taxes and financial planning. 
• Plan for keeping active during retirement. That could look like spending time with family, traveling, starting your own business, starting a hobby that you have always enjoyed, engaging in activities that you had always wanted to do, volunteering or many other things that you could do. 

So, think about how you will accomplish these goals. And if you need help getting started, reach out to me and I will help you navigate this journey.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

How well in advance did you start planning for retirement? What did that entail in your case? What circumstances put your plans back?

“Well, I guess I’ll be working till the day I die.”

I clearly remember the day in 2014 when I dryly and sarcastically spoke those words to my younger sister as the reality of what had just happened hit me across the face like a rock maple two by four. My dad had died a couple years earlier, and now my mother had died, but not before she and my sister had gone to the estate attorney to remove my name as beneficiary and essentially “steal” or reallocate my portion of my dad’s six-million-dollar estate.

I had been a stay-at-home mom to my two children, and when my husband left after 23 years of marriage in 1999, I received no alimony and I was too tired to fight for it. I started a new life at 42 years old with nothing more than my clothes and a few kitchen items. It seemed I lived in a state of perpetual financial survival mode in spite of my frugality.

So, that estate money was my retirement plan. Plan A.

The moment I spoke those words to my sister, I felt the full brunt of what it meant to be the black sheep of my family – the weight of it laid on my chest like a heavy wet blanket. I had paid the full price, and my mother had gotten in one final act of fury towards me.

I’ve tried to re-write this story several times, so it doesn’t sound so “victim-ish,” because I don’t consider myself a victim of anything. I’m a victor in every sense of the word, because I’m still standing and growing and learning. You just had to know the backstory before we go any further.

A Different Plan

What happens when your life plan doesn’t unfold the way you were told it would, or the way you expected? Let’s talk about what comes next without pretending it’s easy… or terrible.

Once I worked through the feelings of anger and betrayal, and ultimately chose forgiveness, there was a quiet resolve that my future would look far different than I had imagined. After all, I had planned to take cruises, volunteer at various non-profits, and enroll in educational and recreational classes. But, once I embraced radical acceptance, I needed a plan to move forward with dignity, not despair.

Plan B

One of the sayings my friends know me by is, always have a Plan B. After the dust settled from my mother’s death was the time to figure out what Plan B actually was. I hadn’t given much thought to what a Plan B might look like because before he died, my dad was obsessive about his estate and how iron-clad it was.

Now Plan B was staring me down, demanding that I give it my full attention.

First, I had to ask myself a few thoughtful questions. If you find yourself in a similar situation, you might want to write down your own answers.

1. What does work mean to me at this stage of the game?
2. How will I define success?
3. What will my revised view of retirement be?

For me, work must be meaningful, not just bolstering the bottom line for a company. I define success as how much personal fulfillment I receive from my work and how much value I am adding to others.

Choosing Which Path to Take

Once you have the answers to the three questions above, you have the framework to put a plan in place. For many women over 60, autonomy and freedom are paramount. That said, you must decide if you want to remain in a traditional workplace or forge a path of your own via starting your own business.

According to an esourcecoach.com article on career ownership, “You Use Your Experience as an Asset: Instead of being seen as “too old” by employers, your years of knowledge become valuable in your own business. As an employee, the job market values you less as you get older. As a business owner, people value the experience you bring. There is no diminishing return.”

Second, based on the paragraph above, I want to reiterate that you have immense knowledge and skills as a woman over 60. Think about all the stuff you know! Whether you stayed home with the kids or have been in the workplace, you possess a plethora of skills that could benefit others. You could become a paid mentor, you could offer workshops or provide specialized skills through social media channels or freelance platforms to monetize your knowledge.

In today’s digital landscape, you can set up a website with hosting in a few minutes (if the tech part isn’t your jam, ask your digitally acute teenage grandchild to do it for you), and be in business before the end of today. Start by posting a few short Instagram reels, Facebook live videos, and Linked posts. If you’re video averse, start out by using the free version of Canva to post helpful tips, quotes, and stats… think, how can I add value to my target buyers?

Some call later-in-life self-employment an “encore career.” The goal is to add joy and income to your life.

Going Your Own Way, Whatever It Is

Now, granted, there is one legal tidbit you need to do like setting up a fictitious name statement with your local county Register of Deeds, which costs just a few dollars. Boom, just like that! You’re bringing value to others and making money while you’re at it.

The downside is that income from self-employment isn’t always steady, and sometimes it takes a while for your business to pick up steam, so be sure you have plenty of expendable savings or other income streams, so you don’t find yourself in a precarious financial position.

As a Book & Publishing Consultant helping new authors write and self-publish their books, I’ve found my sweet spot, my lane. I love educating my clients on the world of publishing, and I love bringing them across the finish line into being published authors. I could, and probably will, do that till the day I die.

While I’m a fan of self-employment and the freedom it brings, it isn’t for everyone, so if you’re happy in your workplace, more power to ya. Rock your position and be the best there is with a cheerful attitude.

Besides my business, I have a part-time income stream as a receptionist at a local law office. The job, as they say, fell into my lap through LinkedIn. The one and only interview question the hiring lady asked was, “With all your experience, why do you want a receptionist position? My answer? “Because at this stage of the game, I don’t want anything overly complicated. I want low-key.” I was hired the same day.

Attitude Adjustment

Third, I had to shift my attitude toward retirement. When the women at church used to ask me, “Are you retired?” I would respond with, “My retirement plan is to die.” I didn’t mean it to sound morbid; I simply meant that I love what I do so much that I don’t mind working until the day I die.

I revised my view of retirement by removing the end-date (mostly because there isn’t one) and incorporating retirement-type activities into my overall life patterns. In other words, I live a retirement lifestyle as much as possible. I plan for mini-vacations, I treat myself with a fine dining meal every so often, and since I live 10 minutes from the beach in North Carolina, during summer I take pre-dawn beach walks.

The secret is to give yourself permission to live well inside a reality that arrived uninvited. By doing this, you loosen the grip on the Plan A narrative.

My final encouragement to you if you find yourself facing Plan B is that you don’t need to untangle or solve it all today. Let it unfold naturally. Dedicate time to writing down your thoughts, create a plan that works for YOU, stay connected with your tribe and extended tribe, adjust your attitude, and learn a new language or take a dance or art class. My guess is that you’ll find a life of fulfillment and joy just around the bend.

Questions to Ponder:

If retirement isn’t an option for you, how have you adjusted your attitude and lifestyle? What positive shift can you make to create an empowered, value-driven retirement lifestyle?

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Originally posted at: Dorit Kemsley’s Fishnet Ballet Flats

Do you need to feel better? What can you do about that right now?

You don’t have to wait for your next vacation or the weekend.
Invite yourself outside to sit on a bench in the park for a few minutes or for
a short stroll.

Go outside. Get yourself out there. Go no matter how you feel. You
don’t have to wait. Go out in any kind of weather.

Going Outside: An Act of Self-Compassion

Think of going outside as an act of self-compassion. Think of
going outside as treating yourself with kindness and gentleness. Try treating
yourself as you would treat a friend. Invite yourself outside for a walk.

The moment you step outside and notice one new thing you never noticed before, you will be in the present moment.

You May Not Be Aware of Your Own Mind State

You may not be aware of our own mind state. Your thoughts might be
squirreling around in a constant mental chatter.

You might be suffering. You might be criticizing yourself. You
might be in incredible pain. The stress hormone, cortisol, might be racing
around in your veins. Your reptilian brain might be lit up. You might feel
attacked. You might be completely unaware that these are thoughts – they are not
you.

Going outside is a way to feel safe again. The science is clear. Our minds and bodies respond to trees, shrubs, and grass. Being out for a short time in any green space around trees turns down our stress response. Going outside changes our thought patterns and lifts our mood.

It’s Easier Than You Think

Going outside even for a few minutes will give you comfort. Start
small. A minute or two a day will do the trick.

Since we all spend 93% of our time inside, going outside for frequent microbreaks will shift your mindset.

As a society, we have unlearned our ability to go outside. Our
inside schedules have taken over. It is not easy to step away from our inside
work, screens, beds, couches, food, and loved ones.

Try using Stanford psychologist BJ Fogg’s simple strategy of tiny habits. I use this approach. It works because it requires no will power.

If you are near a tree, look into its branches and reap the benefits of the stress-reducing
fractals.

Go outside for an optimal mindset. Once I am outside, I call this “my
beautiful outside mindset.”

A Compassionate and Easy Way to Help Yourself

Going outside is the compassionate way to deal with loss and frustration. This is something I know from my personal life with systemic lupus. I always need a way to embrace how difficult this path can be.

We all have losses and stepping outside is one sure way to help us
through these. Going outside has helped me over and over again. Once outside, I
know what I need.

Open Your Heart to Yourself

Going outside is a way of being open-hearted to yourself. It will also
help you to be open-hearted to others. You will know what to do. You will know
what to say. Your stable sense of self will come back to you. You will trust
yourself again.

Going outside is a way to lift your spirits without the pitfalls
of medication. Going outside will give you a pause to figure out what is going
on in your body, mind, and heart. You will be able to figure out what’s
happening. You will be able to create a plan.

Be Curious About Yourself

Going outside is an act of self-awareness and self-compassion. It
is like laying a hand over your heart in times of pain. It is noticing your
body’s cues.

Be curious about yourself. Before you go outside, ask yourself:
How am I feeling? Pretend you are your close friend. When you go outside, ask
yourself: Where is my focus now?

These questions will help put you in the present.

Use Going Outside as a Tool to Feel Better Again

You don’t have to stay inside. Go outside with intention. Give
yourself space. Give yourself attention. Change your brain chemistry. Use the
outdoors to take away stress and help you to ease your emotions. Nourish your
mind and body.

Start today. Very soon, going outside will take care of itself.
You won’t have to wait for some future time to feel good outside. The comfort
of the outdoors will be yours. You will be in charge of your emotions. Use the
outdoors as your tool to feel better again. It’s easier than you think.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

How much time do you spend outside on an average day? Do you feel too glued to indoor work or entertainment? Are you ready to invest a small amount of energy in getting outside more often? Do you know how you will get started? Please share in the comments below.

Picture this: your thumbs are cramped, your wrists ache, and your eyes are tired from squinting at the tiny screen. It’s a familiar scene for anyone who spends too much time texting or dealing with digital devices.

I was tired of the eyestrain I got from typing texts. That’s why I can’t gatekeep this new-to-me tool that makes texting and generally using my phone 10,000 times easier. This tool is dictation – or using voice-to-text.

Hesitation Didn’t Stop Me

Using dictation on your phone is a quick workaround for hand strain, arthritis, eye fatigue, and more; it solves a physical problem that can cause a lot of friction around tech. But I was initially resistant to trying it. My reason was that I just felt ‘silly’ talking to my phone.

My preferred way to get my thoughts out is behind a mechanical keyboard, one that makes that satisfying clicking noise as I type. That’s not always practical. I find that I can respond to a more complex text question much faster and more easily if I talk it out. It didn’t take long to get used to using this smart input method. I tried it out a few times at home, with no one listening in.

It is simple to use: tap the microphone icon in your messages or search bar, then start talking.

It’s Not Always Perfect

As I began using dictation more often, it sometimes produced weird, random-sounding text that didn’t come close to what I actually said. I discovered that this happens because the tool obviously can’t ‘listen’ the same way a human does. Instead, it makes fast predictions based on sound patterns. For example, if I say “I’ll grab milk on the way home,” background noise can turn that into “I’ll grab silk on the way home.”

When it starts spitting out wrong words, one likely cause is that subtle sounds such as fans, TV audio, or even clinking dishes compete with your voice.

Improve Your Dictation Skills

Try some or all of these tips to improve your output:

• Control background noise if you can: turn the TV down or off.
• If you can’t shut down the noise, try bringing the phone closer to your mouth.
• Speak slowly and deliberately.
• Use commands like “comma,” “period,” or “new paragraph” for more control over the output.
• Dictate in chunks so you can proof and edit, then move on.

It is important to note that dictation improves as you adjust your speaking and correct errors. There is a bit of a learning curve to make this work optimally. It will get better the more you use it and correct it.

Don’t Skip Proofreading

Always proofread quickly before you hit send. Fixes can be fast if you do it right.

Tap the wrong word once; this should either select the word or put the cursor next to it.

If you see a suggested replacement word above the keyboard, tap the correct word to insert it.

You may need to drag the cursor to highlight the problem word.

Backspace once to remove it, then retype or re-dictate only that word.

Like most tech tools, dictation gets easier the more you let yourself use it. It’s easy to assume that when technology gets something wrong, it’s because we’re doing something wrong. Dictation is a good reminder that that statement is not always true.

Common Diction Questions

Accessibility: Does Dictation Work Well for People with Accents or Speech Differences?

Yes, but accuracy varies. Dictation systems are trained on many speech patterns, but they may struggle more with strong accents, speech differences, or atypical pacing. Speaking slightly slower and correcting errors manually can improve results over time.

Troubleshooting: What If the Microphone Icon Is Missing or Dictation Won’t Start?

This is usually a setting or permission issue. Check that dictation is enabled in keyboard settings and that microphone access is turned on for the app you’re using. A quick restart often fixes temporary glitches.

App Compatibility: Does Dictation Work Everywhere?

Dictation works in most text fields, but not all apps support it equally. If the microphone icon doesn’t appear, that app may not allow voice input in that field.

Privacy: Is My Voice Data Stored or Shared When I Use Dictation?

Your phone’s operating system processes dictation, not the app you’re typing in. Short audio snippets may be temporarily sent to Apple or Google to convert speech into text, and in some cases, may be used to improve accuracy, but they are not saved as recordings you can replay. You can review and control these settings inside your phone’s privacy or keyboard settings.

For more tips about phone settings, read Hidden Smartphone Settings That Make Life Easier.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

Do you prefer typing text messages and emails or have you embraced dictation? If you’re hesitant to try voice-to-text, what’s your reasoning? If you have any tech questions, please leave them below.