My Experience of Hiding Valuables While on Vacation
You’d think that planning a vacation would be the fun part – choosing outfits, gathering travel-size toiletries, imagining yourself doing important things like strolling, lounging, and ordering dessert without guilt. But no. For some of us, vacation prep is a multi-day logistical triathlon.
The day before my trip, I was in full command-center mode. Plants watered. Refrigerator purged so no perishables would greet me with judgment upon return. Trash timed perfectly. Dog food measured like I was preparing rations for a lunar mission. Laundry done. Suitcases zipped. It was a symphony of competence.
Last-Minute Emergency
And then – because life always waits until the last possible second to test me – I realized I had forgotten one inconvenient detail: where to stash the cash and jewelry I keep in the house.
Of course.
Because why would my brain alert me earlier, when it could wait until I was practically backing out of the driveway?
With no time to get to the bank and no chance of locating my safety deposit box key (which tends to reveal itself only during unrelated life crises), I did what any frantic, responsible adult woman would do: I tried to think like a thief.
Shoebox? Too obvious.
Freezer? Too predictable.
Behind books? I read too much – dead giveaway.
Under the mattress? Burglars have podcasts now; they’ve evolved.
Under the sink? That’s where I hide things I don’t want to deal with, not things I actually care about.
After eliminating every cliché hiding place, I finally picked a spot that felt brilliant. Secure. Clever. Practically impenetrable. I left for the airport feeling smug and relieved.
I Did NOT Expect It Would Be Missing!
Fast-forward: great trip, beautiful time, no disasters. I come home, everything looks normal. Dog alive. Plants surviving. House intact.
Then I went to retrieve the cash and jewelry.
And I could not remember where I put them.
Not a glimmer. Not a hint. Nothing.
It was as if my brain said, “Ma’am, we do not store that information in this facility.”
So, I retraced my logic… then my illogic… then my panic-brain logic.
I checked everywhere a burglar might look, everywhere a dishonest friend might look, and everywhere I might look if I had been in a pre-vacation frenzy, believing I was a CIA operative hiding diamonds from an international crime syndicate.
Still nothing.
It took weeks – weeks! – to find them.
Relief washed over me, followed closely by embarrassment and a strong desire to sit myself down and say, “Ilene, what were you thinking?”
Which brought me to the much-needed question: Going forward, what is the actual plan?
Moving Forward: My Options
1. Write It Down Somewhere on My Phone
In theory, this is the most practical idea. A note on my phone titled “Where I Hid Things” seems simple enough. But in reality, I know myself – I’ll overthink the title, create something too clever, and then forget what I named it. Or worse, I’ll password-protect it and forget the password. Still, having a written record somewhere – encrypted, labeled, tattooed on my forearm – might prevent the next weeks-long treasure hunt.
2. Go to the Bank Before Every Trip
This plan feels very adult, very sensible, and very much like something other people do. The idea of calmly heading to the bank days before a trip, depositing my valuables, and checking something off a list without frenzy? Dreamy. Ideal. Aspirational. But I also know vacations tend to sneak up on me no matter how far in advance I book them, and “bank run” rarely makes it into the final hour.
3. Get a Real Safe
A heavy, bolted-down, fireproof safe sounds like the obvious solution – until I picture myself standing in front of it trying to remember the combination. Or hiding the key so well I create this entire problem all over again. Still, a safe would give me peace of mind, and maybe that’s worth the risk of needing a locksmith one day.
4. Adopt a Zen ‘What Will Be, Will Be’ Approach
This is beautiful in theory. Release control. Surrender outcomes. Become one with the universe and my misplaced valuables. Unfortunately, I am not yet spiritually evolved enough to shrug off losing jewelry I bought on a trip to Italy. Letting the universe handle it sounds empowering – right up until the moment the universe forgets where it put my earrings.
5. Leave It with a Neighbor
Community is wonderful, and I am lucky to have people I trust. But this plan depends entirely on both of us remembering where things are, and we’ve already established memory is not my strong point in these situations. Also, what if they go on vacation too? Or reorganize their house? Or hide it somewhere “safe” and forget like I did? I can’t be responsible for multiplying the chaos.
6. Stop Over-Engineering the Hiding Places
This one may be the most honest option. My hiding places are becoming so clever that even I can’t outsmart them. Simpler may be safer. A basic drawer, a labeled envelope, a predictable spot… something boring enough that Future Me will find it without unraveling into a detective novel. Maybe the goal isn’t to be clever – it’s to be consistent.
What’s Next?
Remember the lesson, stop overthinking the cash, and maybe just put it on the packing list so I actually remember it.
Let’s Have a Conversation:
Do you remember to place your valuables in a secure location before taking a vacation? Or are you the last-minute type of person who totally forgets about them?
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