Month: January 2026

January has a certain vibe.

It’s the month where we’re all supposed to emerge from the holiday fog as a brand-new person with a perfect meal plan that will carry us through to the end of the year, a fresh set of workout clothes, and the kind of motivation that apparently never dips… even when your knees pop and crack like Rice Krispies when you stand up.

And then, because we’re human, life happens. The plan gets too strict. The “perfect” routine collapses. We eat past comfortable. We feel gross. We tell ourselves we’ll do better tomorrow.

If this sounds familiar, here’s the reframe I want you to consider:

Most eating struggles aren’t a discipline problem. They’re an autopilot problem.

No one really teaches us how to eat. We learn patterns. We learn habits. And after decades of repeating them, those habits start running the show, especially in the moments that feel small and “not worth thinking about.”

The Bill Gates Quote That Explains Why Your January Plan Keeps Failing

There’s a Bill Gates quote I love because it’s annoyingly true:

People overestimate what they can do in a day and underestimate what they can do in a year.

That’s exactly what happens with New Year’s resolutions, especially around food.

We expect a dramatic overnight shift:

“No more sugar.”

“No more snacking at night.”

“I’m going to be consistent forever now.”

“I’m going to stop overeating.”

But if you’ve been eating a certain way for 40, 50, 60 years… your brain isn’t going to wake up on January 1st and calmly say, “Yes, of course. New operating system installed.”

Change is possible. It’s just slower and more skill-based than most “New Year, New You” messaging wants to admit.

“Eat With Intention” Isn’t a Personality Trait. It’s a Practice.

When I say “eat with intention,” some women immediately think “mindfulness.”

And I’ll be honest: IMO, mindfulness has a terrible PR problem.

A lot of women hear “mindful eating” and picture something like:

• eating one raisin for 20 minutes.
• sitting in silence.
• being calm and enlightened at all times.

No. That’s not what I mean.

What I mean is: paying attention long enough to make a choice you actually feel
good about.

Because autopilot eating is sneaky. It doesn’t announce itself. It just happens.

You’re not “making a decision.” You’re doing what you always do.

And then afterward, you’re frustrated because you weren’t even hungry… but you ate anyway.

The Two Most Common Autopilot Windows (You Probably Have One)

In my work with midlife women, autopilot eating tends to show up in two predictable time slots:

1) The 3:00–3:30 “Witching Hour”

You’re not starving. You’re just… not okay. Maybe you’re bored. Maybe you’re tired. Maybe your brain wants a reward. It’s too early for dinner, but something feels off. So you grab “a little something” that turns into more than you planned.

2) The After-Dinner Snack Trance

Dinner is done. The kitchen is cleaned. You finally sit down. The day is quiet. You’re on the couch watching TV, and suddenly you’re eating popcorn, or ice cream, or cookies, almost like it’s part of the evening routine.

And here’s the part that matters:

This isn’t because there’s something wrong with you. It’s because your brain
learned a pattern.

Food became a way to shift your emotional state: comfort, relief, reward, distraction, decompression.

That’s not a character flaw. It’s a habit loop.

Why “I Don’t Want to Think About Food” Is Usually Misunderstood

Many women tell me, “I’m constantly thinking about food. I just want to stop.”

What they usually mean is: “I want to stop the mental gymnastics.”

The constant back-and-forth of:

• Can I eat this?
• Should I eat that?
• I already ate too much.
• I’ll be good tomorrow.
• I messed up again.

But here’s the inconvenient truth:

If you want to be a healthy eater, you will have to think about food, just differently.

You don’t have to obsess. But you do have to be intentional. I have never, not once, accidentally eaten a vegetable. I have never, not once, accidentally drank water.

Those choices don’t happen by accident. They happen because somewhere in the day, you decide, “That’s the kind of person I’m being today.”

That’s intention.

The Smallest Skill That Creates the Biggest Shift

If you struggle with overeating, especially at night, this one skill can change everything:

Interrupt autopilot with one simple question.

Here’s what I teach (and what I still use myself):

Am I Hungry?

If you’re hungry, eat. I never want my clients walking around hungry and pretending that’s “willpower.” Hunger isn’t the enemy. It’s information.

If You’re Not Hungry, Ask: Why Am I Here?

That’s it. No shame. No drama. Just curiosity.

Sometimes the answer is:

• I’m tired.
• I’m stressed.
• I’m procrastinating.
• I want comfort.
• I want a treat because the day was a lot.
• I’m avoiding going to bed.
• I’m mad.
• I’m lonely.
• I’m bored.

Then you get to decide what you want to do next, on purpose.

And if you still want to eat (because yes, sometimes you will), add this third question:

What Habit Do I Want to Feed?

Because the more you follow a habit, the stronger it gets.

If you automatically snack after dinner every night, you’re reinforcing that loop, whether you mean to or not.

But if you pause and choose, even one night a week, you’re building a new loop: I can interrupt autopilot. I can choose.

That’s a skill. And skills can be learned at any age.

Midlife Bodies Don’t “Just Handle It” Like They Used To

Another reason this matters more now than it did at 35: your body gives clearer feedback in midlife.

When you eat past comfortable at night, it often shows up as:

• poor sleep,
• waking up feeling puffy or heavy,
• low energy the next day,
• more cravings and irritability (because sleep and blood sugar are connected),
• less motivation to move your body.

So the “small” habit of nighttime overeating isn’t small. It creates a ripple effect.

And when you begin to change it, the ripple runs the other direction:

• you sleep better,
• you feel better,
• you have more energy,
• you stop beating yourself up,
• you feel more confident because you’re keeping promises to yourself.

Weight loss might be part of your goal, and that’s fine. But many women realize what they really want is this: to feel like they’re not at war with themselves anymore.

If You’re Waiting to Magically “Outgrow” This… Don’t

A lot of women look back at their younger selves and think, “I never expected I’d still be dealing with this in my 50s or 60s.”

But habits don’t evaporate with age. They either strengthen or they change, based on what you practice.

You’re not going to wake up one day and suddenly:

• never crave sugar again,
• stop wanting comfort at night,
• become effortlessly consistent with exercise,
• stop using food to decompress.

Those aren’t personality traits. They’re learned patterns.

The good news is that learned patterns can be updated, slowly, intentionally, without drama.

Join Me Live: “How to Stop Overeating Without Going on a Diet”

If you’re ready to stop treating overeating like a willpower issue and start treating it like a skill you can build, I’d love to have you in my free live workshop:

How to Stop Overeating Without Going on a Diet

January 13 at 2:00 pm Eastern

Free | 60 minutes | Live

Sign Up Here

And if you can’t make it live (or you’re not sure yet), I also have a free guide you’ll love:

“82 Reasons You Overeat That Have Nothing to Do with Food.”

Because once you understand the real reasons, you can stop fighting yourself, and start changing what actually drives the habit.

Either way, let this be the year you stop trying to “be perfect”… and start building the skills that make change stick.

Let’s Talk:

What are your night eating habits? Do they serve a healthier lifestyle or do they drag you down? Have you considered changing those habits – slowly, but consistently, with intention?

When I was younger, I thought adulthood was a finite destination. A glamorous point on the map where I’d have a fully stocked, organized spice rack, a working knowledge of how to prevent breakouts, and the ability to make small talk at parties without sweating through my shirt.

I’d know how to be married. How to parent. How to make chicken that wasn’t dry. I’d say wise things like, “It’s just a phase,” and “Invest in yourself,” and actually mean them.

Turns out, adulting is less of a destination and more of a road trip with bad directions, a questionable playlist, and at least three bathroom stops you didn’t plan on.

It’s one of the reasons my friend and I started our podcast, We Didn’t Know What We Didn’t Know – Life Laughed. Each episode is basically a friendly therapist’s couch – with more laughter and very few pearls of advice. We unpack everything from raising children to surviving menopause to taking care of aging family members, with your sense of humor (mostly) intact.

Marriage: The Great Negotiation

When I got married, I assumed we’d be a finely tuned machine. I would intuitively know how to plan inexpensive trips, assemble IKEA furniture, and understand why someone would voluntarily watch football on television.

He, meanwhile, thought I’d always want to go camping instead of… anything else.

We were young and optimistic, which is a nice way of saying we were clueless and too broke to hire movers. Over time, we learned that love isn’t about finishing each other’s sentences. It’s about learning when to leave the room before finishing the sentence.

We didn’t know that the strongest marriages aren’t built on perfect communication – they’re built on patience, forgiveness, and the quiet understanding that cleaning the house unprompted is one of the sexiest moves a spouse can make.

Teaching: Lessons I Didn’t Know I Didn’t Know

I taught for many years before I had children of my own. In those early days, I thought I had it all figured out. Classroom management? Check. Creative bulletin boards? Double check. A schedule that allowed me to drink my coffee while it was still hot? (Okay, that one never happened.)

But I also worked for a principal who was in her late 50s and had never had children herself. We were both committed, passionate educators, but in hindsight, I can say it: we were missing something.

Parent-teacher conferences often felt like trying to speak a foreign language. I could talk about grades, behavior, and potential – but my empathy wasn’t quite “there.” I didn’t fully grasp what it meant to send your heart walking around outside your body every day and then hand that heart over to a classroom teacher.

It wasn’t that I didn’t care. I cared deeply. I just didn’t know what I didn’t know. Years later, after having my own children, I saw those same conferences differently. I understood the parent who teared up over a behavior issue. I understood the one who was worried their child had no friends.

We actually unpacked this on an episode of Life Laughed – how life experience changes your lens, and how many times we look back on our younger selves and think, “Wow, I really didn’t get it back then.” Teaching taught me that humility is as important as any curriculum.

Parenting: Master of None, Sleeper of Less

Nothing revealed how little I knew quite like becoming a mother. I read the books, sure, but none of them had chapters titled “What to Do When Your Toddler Only Answers in Dinosaur Roars” or “How to Pretend You Love T-Ball for the Third Season in a Row.”

I thought I’d be the mom who made healthy lunches and volunteered in the classroom. Some days, I was. Other days, I considered it a win that everyone was wearing pants and our shoes matched.

We didn’t know that parenting wasn’t about perfection – it was about showing up, over and over, even when you were exhausted, unsure, or slightly sticky from some unidentified child-related substance.

(We did a podcast episode on this topic too, and I still don’t know how we survived middle school math or teenage angst.)

Work: Grading Papers and Faking Confidence

As a teacher, now with my own two boys, I assumed that one day I’d feel like a “real adult”– one who never had to Google how to unjam the copier or figure out if swallowing a small bit of crayon was actually a medical emergency.

When I started out, I looked at veteran teachers with admiration and envy. They were calm, confident, and carried tote bags with laminated passes. Meanwhile, I was eating string cheese in my car and wondering if anyone would notice that I had worn the same pants three days in a row.

Eventually, I realized the truth: everyone was faking it a little. Confidence, like those well-thought-out seating charts, is fluid.

Aging: The Art of Laughing While Forgetting Why You Walked into the Room

Now, in this season of life, I still don’t know a lot of things.

I don’t know how to keep busy without overdoing it. I don’t know where I set my glasses. I don’t know why I keep saving all of the boxes. All. The. Boxes.

But I do know this: Not knowing everything is no longer terrifying. It’s liberating.

The people I admire most aren’t the ones with flawless skin and 10-year plans. They’re the ones who can laugh at themselves, hold space for the unknown, and admit when they need help opening a jar. (Stupid arthritis.)

We didn’t know what we didn’t know. And that’s okay. Because somewhere between the mess and the magic, we figured out what really matters: love, laughter, and the grace to keep learning and admit our mistakes.

If this all sounds a little too familiar, come join me on the podcast Life Laughed. We’re still figuring things out – and laughing our way through it – one honest conversation at a time.

Let’s Talk About It:

What’s something you didn’t realize you didn’t know until life taught you the hard (or funny) way? Was there a moment when your perspective completely changed after becoming a parent, caregiver, or simply getting older? Do you find not having everything figured out more stressful, or more freeing, at this stage of life? Why?

Dark showering is emerging as one of the simplest yet most effective nighttime wellness rituals – and it can be especially beneficial for women 60 and up. This gentle practice uses low light, warm water, and sensory stillness to calm the nervous system, reduce stress, quiet the mind, and prepare the body for deep, restorative sleep.

Below is a practical, expert-designed protocol supported by research on hydrotherapy, relaxation physiology, and aromatherapy, along with essential oils that enhance the ritual.

Why Dark Showering Is Ideal for Women 60+

Although “dark showering” itself is new, the science behind why it helps is well-established:

1. Helps Reduce Stress and Cortisol

Warm-water exposure has been shown to lower cortisol levels and induce a parasympathetic (rest-and-digest) state.

This helps ease anxiety, calm mental chatter, and soothe muscle tension.

2. Supports Nervous System Reset

Switching off lights removes visual stimulation, allowing the brain to shift into a quiet, meditative mode.

The sensory input of water + darkness = a deeply grounding experience.

3. Encourages Lymphatic Flow (Gently and Naturally)

The lymphatic system responds to:

• temperature changes
• deep breathing
• movement
• relaxation

A warm or cool shower in low sensory input helps stimulate these natural lymphatic responses – without being strenuous.

4. May Improve Sleep Quality

Warm water followed by cooling helps support your body’s natural nighttime temperature drop, which is associated with:

• melatonin release
• easier sleep onset
• improved sleep quality

Darkness also helps signal “sleep mode” to the brain.

A Safe, Beginner-Friendly Dark Showering Protocol (Designed for Women 60+)

Step 1 – Prepare the Environment

Start with low light, not full darkness:

• a soft plug-in night-light
• a warm-glow candle
• a diffuser with color-changing low lights

This helps prevent disorientation or fall risk.

Place a non-slip mat and ensure the floor is dry.

Step 2 – Set Water Temperature

Begin with: lukewarm water or cool water if you want a refreshing, circulation-boosting effect.

Avoid very hot water, which can:

• increase dizziness
• irritate mature skin
• worsen swelling for some individuals.

Step 3 – Add Aromatherapy

Place a diffuser on the bathroom counter.

Add 6–10 drops of any of the essential oils listed in the next section.

Let the aroma fill the space for 1–2 minutes before showering.

Step 4 – Begin with Breathwork

Before stepping under the water, place both hands on your chest and inhale slowly for 4 seconds, exhale for 6 seconds.

Repeat 3–5 times to activate the parasympathetic nervous system.

Step 5 – Step into the Shower

As water runs gently over your shoulders, focus on:

• sound of the water
• warmth or coolness on the skin
• breath rhythm
• the essential oils drifting through the space.

If you feel steady and comfortable, you may dim the lights further.

Step 6 – End Slowly

Turn the lights back on before stepping out.

Dry off carefully, taking your time.

Finish with a calming body oil or moisturizer to seal in the ritual.

Essential Oils That Pair Perfectly with Dark Showering

Below is a curated list of oils that complement the goals of dark showering – grounding, relaxation, lymphatic stimulation, and sleep enhancement.

1. Lavender (Lavandula angustifolia)

Best for: deep relaxation, sleep support, calming anxiety

Lavender is clinically proven to improve sleep quality and reduce nervous-system excitation.

Pairs beautifully with warm or cool showers.

2. Frankincense (Boswellia serrata)

Best for: emotional grounding, nervous system balance

Excellent for women who feel overstimulated, scattered, or tense.

Adds a sacred, spa-like feel to the ritual.

3. Roman Chamomile (Chamaemelum nobile)

Best for: stress reduction, emotional balance

Gentle, floral, and extremely calming – perfect before bed.

4. Eucalyptus (Eucalyptus radiata)

Best for: lymphatic stimulation, breathing support

Helps open the chest, deepen breathing, and support lymphatic flow.

Great for cool or lukewarm showers.

5. Geranium (Pelargonium graveolens)

Best for: hormonal balance, mood support

Ideal for women 60+, providing both emotional lift and circulatory support.

6. Cedarwood (Cedrus atlantica)

Best for: grounding, restlessness, mental quiet

Warm, woodsy, and comforting – excellent for nighttime rituals.

7. Bergamot (Citrus bergamia)

Best for: tension relief, uplifting mood

A bright citrus note that also reduces anxiety.

Use only steam-distilled bergamot if you use it topically, due to phototoxicity; diffuser use is always safe.

Pre-Made Essential Oil Blends for Dark Showering

Deep Sleep Blend

• 4 drops Lavender
• 3 drops Roman Chamomile
• 2 drops Cedarwood

Lymphatic Ease Blend

• 3 drops Eucalyptus
• 3 drops Geranium
• 2 drops Lavender

Emotional Grounding Blend

• 3 drops Frankincense
• 3 drops Cedarwood
• 2 drops Bergamot

Safety Notes for Women 60+

• Avoid full darkness at first.
• Keep a stable stance; consider a shower chair if balance is a concern.
• Use a non-slip mat.
• If you have vertigo, cardiovascular issues, or low blood pressure, check with a healthcare provider.
• Diffusers should be kept away from water splash zones.
• Limit the shower to 10–15 minutes initially.

Overall Wellness Benefits

Dark showering is a powerful, sensory-rich ritual that supports the body and mind through:

• stress reduction
• improved sleep
• gentle lymphatic activation
• grounding
• nervous system restoration

Pairing the ritual with essential oils turns it into a deeply therapeutic, spa-like experience tailored to women’s wellness – especially if you’re looking for a low-cost way to reduce stress, anxiety, insomnia or muscle tension. 

Let’s Have a Conversation:

Do you have trouble sleeping? Have you found any bedtime rituals that help you calm down and sleep better? What have you heard about dark showering and what do you think about the idea?

As the new year settles in, there’s often a quiet pressure to move forward quickly.

New goals.

New routines.

New expectations of who we should be now.

But before we rush into plans and resolutions, I want to invite you to pause – just for a moment.

Because the year we’ve just lived didn’t simply pass by.

It mattered.

All of it.

Taking a Breath Before Moving on

Imagine yourself at the end of this year.

You’re sitting quietly, maybe by a window, holding a warm cup of tea. There’s less urgency in your body than there used to be. Your shoulders aren’t quite so tense. You’re not rushing to fix or prove anything.

As you reflect, you realize something important:

You didn’t get here by pushing harder. You didn’t force clarity before it was ready. You didn’t reinvent yourself overnight.

Instead, you slowly learned to listen. You protected your energy more carefully. You became more intentional about where you said yes – and where you didn’t.

You allowed your life to fit you, rather than bending yourself to fit everything else.

Reflection question:

Where did you listen to yourself more this past year than you ever had before?

Honoring a Year That Asked a Lot

For many of us, the past year wasn’t easy. It stretched us in ways we didn’t anticipate. It asked us to adapt, to let go, and sometimes to grieve.

One of the deepest lessons I’ve learned – especially through love, loss, and grief – is this:

Grief and growth are not opposites. They are companions.

Loss has a way of clarifying what truly matters. It softens what no longer does. It reminds us that time, connection, and presence are far more valuable than perfection or productivity.

If you experienced loss this past year – of a loved one, a role, a dream, or even a version of yourself – you didn’t “fall behind.”

You were living.

Reflection question:

What did this year teach you about what truly matters most to you now?

A Different Question for the New Year

Instead of asking the familiar January questions – What should I change? What should I fix? What should I achieve? – consider asking something gentler and far more meaningful:

What would my future self want me to know right now?

When I asked myself that question, the answer wasn’t dramatic or overwhelming. It was simple, compassionate, and clear:

Trust yourself sooner. Say no without explanation. And don’t wait so long to choose joy.

Those words didn’t feel like pressure. They felt like permission.

Reflection question:

If your future self could give you one piece of advice today, what might she say?

A Simple Reflection You Can Try This Week

Here’s a quiet exercise you can try – no resolutions required.

Take a few minutes to imagine yourself one year from now. Picture how you feel in your body. Notice what feels lighter. Then write a short note from that future version of you to the woman you are today.

You might begin with:

“Dear Me, here’s what I want you to remember…”

You don’t need to write pages. Often, a single sentence holds exactly what we need.

To make this reflection easier, I created a gentle “Dear Future Me” worksheet that guides you through the process step by step. It’s designed to help you slow down, listen inward, and reconnect with your own wisdom – something we often neglect as women.

You can return to this worksheet any time during the year, especially when you feel uncertain or overwhelmed.

Reflection question:

What would it feel like to trust your inner voice just a little more this year?

Carrying the Wisdom Forward

As we move into this new year, it’s important to remember this:

We don’t step forward by erasing what shaped us.

We move forward by carrying its wisdom with us.

The lessons, the losses, the laughter, and even the moments that didn’t make sense at the time – they all contributed to who you are now.

So instead of asking yourself to become someone new this year, consider something softer:

• What do I want to protect?
• What do I want to release?
• What do I want to experience more fully?

Because this year mattered.

All of it.

And so do you.

Closing Reflection Questions

As you move through the coming weeks, you might return to these questions:

What am I ready to stop rushing? What feels meaningful to me now, in this season of life? What small step would my future self thank me for taking?

You don’t need all the answers today.

Sometimes, the most powerful way to begin a new year is by honoring the one that came before it – with compassion, honesty, and grace.

Please leave a comment with your reflection questions and how you see this year unfolding for you.

I may have bloomed, but I am not yet withered, I may have passed my peak, but I am still on the mountain. Just because I am over 60 doesn’t mean there isn’t a whole lot of life ahead of me; in fact, I can be braver, perhaps even a little riskier, as I am no longer the bread winner, the mum, the one who so many depend on. I can fill my life doing things I love.

Whenever I have taken the road less travelled it has always paid me handsomely. Meeting interesting people, learning new skills, going to places that have taken my breath away.

As a 60-something solo traveller, I have become very good at communicating. I would live a very lonely life if I didn’t! Neighbours, taxi drivers, people in restaurants/bars, shopkeepers, at the beach, mums in the park. Many people have excellent local knowledge, and I have been to places I would never have heard about if I hadn’t said hello to a stranger. 🙂

Different Types of Travel

Travelling doesn’t necessarily mean moving in the physical sense. Imagination is mind travel, and you can go anywhere you choose in an instant. You can fly to the Moon, travel the world, or sail the ocean. The world (or more!) is your oyster.

As a lifelong traveller, I struggled when a few recent health problems set me back for a while. Now, with the power of YouTube, I can spend the night in the desert under the stars, back pack around India or climb to base camp Everest. Of course, it is not quite the same, but we are the first generation to be able to share these experiences, and whilst I am recuperating, I would rather travel alongside someone else virtually, than not at all.

So Much to Learn

I can learn about the region, culture, food, climate, people, all from the comfort of my sofa. I can explore different modes of travel and find the perfect season for me at the click of a button. I can research prices, accommodation, visas, history, and even brush up on my language skills!

I have become emotionally invested in some of my favourite YouTubers, delighting in their successes, worrying when things aren’t going great, and marvelling at their bravery. There are people travelling the world in a jeep, a couple cycling from London to India, a man who walks around the UK with a tent, and many van-lifers. 🙂

My mind is expanding, my knowledge growing and, through their adventures, I am able to consider whether places might suit me in the future. I can see if the land is flat or mountainous, the weather too hot – or just right, how arduous the journey is, and whether I would like it. 🙂

So Many Choices

There are as many things to do as your imagination allows for. Cooking trips to Italy, river cruises on The Danube, Walking tours, Safaris in Africa, Photography Courses, Ancient Egypt, Language Immersion Villages, Rail Travel, The Golden Triangle in India, Camel Trips in the Desert, Wine Tasting holidays, Chateau Tours…

Many you can do independently, or you may prefer to go on small tours with like-minded people. Travelling with others can be a great idea if you are a little nervous about travelling alone. Often these trips are quite small, so you get to know others in your group while having an almost personal service.

So whether you are a physical explorer or prefer to watch on the sofa with a cup of tea, it doesn’t really matter. The road less travelled has so much to offer. Who knows, it might be your YouTube channel that I subscribe to next! 🙂

Join the Conversation:

Do you prefer to travel physically or virtually? What would be your ideal trip? Where is your dream destination?