Month: January 2026

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Originally posted at: Lisa Barlow’s Floral Maxi Dress

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Originally posted at: Best of 2025

Live in a northern US location that dips below freezing and gets regular winter snowfalls? Then, trust me. At some point in your retirement life, you’ll consider a seasonal snowbird migration. My husband and I are contemplating it now after arguing against it for years, because we thought:

1. We were too young.
2. Winter’s not that bad.
3. It’s expensive.

Turns out none of the above are true.

How Young Is Too Young to Snowbird?

Nearly 70% of today’s snowbirds begin their winter migration before reaching age 60, according to a survey conducted by Emergency Assistance Plus, a travel insurance company. The flexibility of remote work has led to a dramatic increase in the number of younger people heading to warmer locations during winter.

Sadly, my husband and I did not have jobs that permitted us to jet off when the temperatures dropped in New York. But now that I’ve retired and he’s doing project-based work, it’s a possibility.

It’s Not Buffalo, But…

We live in downstate NY, a 45-minute train ride from New York City. Average February high temperatures are 36 degrees F and lows average 20 degrees F, according to Wanderlog. And we usually get a few 4-6” snowfalls spread out through the winter.

I maintain a daily walking schedule with my German Shepherd, plan a few day outings during the week and force myself to accept dinner invitations to stay social.

But, as the years pass, the urge to hunker down and embrace the Danish hygge lifestyle is getting harder to resist.

Can I Afford a 3-Month Vacation?

Maintaining a second home for a 12-week use seems impractical to me. That’s how old-timers used to fly. Think about your parents and their friends who owned condos in Florida. They’d depart after the Christmas decorations were packed away and return when the daffodils started popping up.

Our friends who recently started snowbirding rent in different locations for a few weeks at a time to check out areas. Whether they’ll ever commit to a purchase is yet to be determined.

Wondering about buying vs. renting? Check out this article: Second Home: Buy or Rent?

Deciding When and Where to Go

I’m watching the long-range forecasts. Hopefully, we can make a break for it before a particularly ominous stretch of weather sets in. We’ll only go for a couple of weeks since it’s our first time, so the expense will be comparable to a normal vacation.

I don’t want to blow our entire 2026 vacation budget.

So, avoiding pricey places like West Palm Beach, Florida, and Scottsdale, Arizona, means focusing our attention on welcoming destinations that are affordable alternatives, like these five sun-soaked locations.

Port St. Lucie, Florida: Budget-Friendly Alternative to West Palm Beach

Spring training home to the NY Mets, Port St. Lucie occupies a central position on Florida’s Treasure Coast, between Jupiter and Vero Beach. Retirement Living named Port St. Lucie as one of its Top 10 snowbird cities for 2025, citing the large number of golf courses, low property crime rates and a warm average temperature of 66.8 degrees from November through March.

Leesburg, Florida: Budget-Friendly Alternative to Orlando

Proximity to Orlando is Leesburg’s draw. The Lake County city of 28,000 has small-town charm thanks to a lively downtown with shops, restaurants and craft breweries. With several lakes, miles of trails and the scenic Venetian Gardens park, there are plenty of ways to spend your days in the outdoors.

Green Valley, Arizona: Budget-Friendly Alternative to Tucson

Home to approximately 22,000 year-round residents, this Tucson-area city swells with retirees during the winter months. Hiking, biking and golf are popular outdoor activities and culture vultures will appreciate the busy calendar of events staged annually at the Community Performance & Art Center.

Yuma, Arizona: Budget-Friendly Alternative to Phoenix

Yuma is located near the Mexico border, guaranteeing warm winter temperatures and sunny days. Tubing and boating on the Colorado River are popular activities. Get to know the plants and animals living in Yuma’s multiple desert parks. And day trips across the border are a fun way to experience Mexican food and culture.

Rio Grande Valley, Texas: Budget-Friendly Alternative to San Antonio

Multiple towns, including McAllen, comprise the Rio Grande Valley, about an hour and a half drive from the beaches of San Padre Island. There’s plenty to see during snowbird season in the region, including the International Museum of Art and Science, the Gladys Porter Zoo and historic missions like La Lomita.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

Where do you snowbird? Why did you make that decision? Have you bought a place or do you rent?

As I’ve grown older, I’ve realized that some of my most valuable lessons haven’t come from books, workshops, or heartfelt advice from friends. Instead, they’ve arrived quietly, through the soft paws and steady presence of my beloved cat. Somehow, through the simplicity of her daily routines, she demonstrates the kind of emotional clarity and self-care that many of us spend years trying to master.

Right now, she’s curled up beside me, blissfully asleep in a patch of sunlight. She has no hesitation about resting in the middle of the morning. No guilt. No mental argument about whether she should be doing something more productive. She simply follows her needs, trusts her instincts, and carries on.

The more I observe her, the more I realize she has been teaching me how to take better care of myself. Not through inspiration, but through example. Here are the five lessons she’s been teaching me with remarkable consistency.

1. Rest When You’re Tired, Not When You’ve Earned It

Decades of working life trained many of us to push through tiredness, to wait for the approved break, and to ignore fatigue until the day was finally done. Even now, in a later stage of life, that habit lingers. I still catch myself thinking I should finish one more task before sitting down.

My cat has no such internal debate. When she’s tired, she rests. It might be 10 minutes or an entire afternoon, but she respects and protects her energy without apology. Watching her has made me reconsider how much unnecessary guilt I attach to resting. Fatigue is not a failure. It is simply a sign, one that deserves respect rather than resistance.

She has taught me that a quiet pause is not indulgence. It is wisdom.

2. Eat What Nourishes You, and Only When It Does

My cat approaches food with a kind of honesty I find admirable. She eats slowly, thoughtfully, and with full attention. She never eats out of anxiety, boredom, or habit. And she absolutely refuses food she does not enjoy. There is no forcing, no polite nibbling, no “I should finish this.”

She stops the moment she feels satisfied, even if there is still food left in the dish.

Her natural relationship with nourishment has made me look more closely at my own. Over the years, I’ve eaten in haste, eaten while distracted, or eaten foods because they were convenient. My cat reminds me daily that food is meant to support the body, not burden it.

Her lessons are simple but powerful:

• Listen to your hunger.
• Slow down.
• Enjoy your meals.
• Stop when you feel nourished.

These small acts of self-care make a surprising difference in how grounded and balanced I feel about what I eat.

3. Ask for What You Need, Without Apology or Hesitation

My cat is remarkably clear when she wants something. Whether it’s food, company, space, or an open door. She communicates confidently and without delay. There is no second-guessing, no worrying about whether she’s being inconvenient, and no internal debate about whether it’s “the right moment.”

I, on the other hand, have often hesitated to voice my needs. Many of us do. Years of caring for others, children, partners, parents, employers, can make our own needs feel secondary or even invisible. Sometimes I catch myself waiting for someone to simply notice that I could use support, when in truth, a clear and simple request would have taken far less energy.

Watching my cat has taught me that asking for help is not imposing. It is simply communicating. And surprisingly, people are often relieved when we tell them what we need. It removes the guesswork and opens space for genuine connection.

I am learning that clarity is a kindness, both to myself and to others.

4. Set Boundaries with Confidence, Not Guilt

My cat is gentle, but she is not afraid to protect her comfort. When she’s overstimulated by noise, too much company, or too much affection, she simply walks away. She doesn’t announce it, justify it, or apologize. She listens to her limits and follows them.

This quiet boundary-setting has been one of her strongest lessons. As we grow older, our energy becomes something we manage more consciously. The people we spend time with, the activities we commit to, and the emotional weight we carry, all matter more.

Learning to say no, without guilt, without lengthy explanations, and without fear of disappointing someone, is a form of emotional strength. My cat models this with elegant simplicity. She chooses where she places her attention and energy.

I’ve started doing the same. It’s liberating.

5. Stay Curious, It Keeps the Spirit Alive

Despite being a creature of habit, my cat is endlessly curious. A new leaf falls in the garden, and she’s investigating. A cupboard opens, and she must see inside.

Curiosity is her anchor, and her joy.

Her constant exploration has reminded me that curiosity is one of the most underrated forms of self-care. Trying something new, learning a skill, exploring a new place, even shifting a daily routine, can add spark to our lives. Staying curious keeps us mentally flexible, emotionally open, and connected to the world.

It is a reminder that getting older doesn’t mean our world must shrink. In fact, with the right mindset, it can expand in ways we never expected.

What She Has Really Taught Me

My cat may not speak, but she communicates volumes. She reminds me daily to rest when I’m tired, to nourish myself well, to express my needs clearly, to set boundaries confidently, and to stay curious about the world. She has become, in her quiet and unassuming way, a guide for living more gently, more honestly, and more fully.

I thought I was simply caring for her. But somewhere along the way, she began teaching me how to take better care of myself.

Click for free access to my Substack, Retired Way Out There, where I publish a bi-monthly newsletter and provide handouts.

What About You:

Have you learned life lessons from a pet in your home, or even one long gone? Please share your story in the comments below.

Many women, especially those of us over 60, are used to putting other people first. We care for partners, aging parents, grandchildren, and friends. We push through fatigue. We explain away aches, coughs, and changes in our bodies as “just getting older.”

But research shows that this instinct to minimize our symptoms – combined with long-standing gender bias in healthcare – can come at a serious cost.

Across multiple countries and healthcare systems, women are often diagnosed with cancer later than men, even when they develop the same types of cancer. The reasons are complex, but the consequences are very real: later diagnosis often means fewer treatment options and poorer outcomes.

Understanding why this happens – and how to advocate for ourselves – is one of the most important health steps women can take at this stage of life.

The Hidden Gender Gap in Cancer Diagnosis: What Every Woman Over 60 Should Know

For decades, research from the U.S., the UK, and Australia has consistently shown that women experience longer delays between first symptoms and cancer diagnosis than men for several common cancers – including lung, colorectal, bladder, and blood cancers.

This isn’t because women get these cancers less often. It’s because their symptoms are more likely to be:

• Attributed to stress, anxiety, or aging
• Misdiagnosed as less serious conditions
• Investigated later or less thoroughly

In the UK, large population studies have found that women are more likely than men to have multiple GP visits before being referred for cancer testing. Similar patterns appear in Australian research, where women’s symptoms are less likely to trigger urgent investigations.

In the U.S., studies suggest that women – particularly older women – are more likely to experience diagnostic delays even when they report persistent or worsening symptoms.

Why Women Are Still Diagnosed Later Than Men – and How We Can Change That

1. Women’s Symptoms Don’t Always Look “Typical”

Many diagnostic guidelines are based on symptoms that appear more commonly in men. When women experience cancer symptoms differently – or more subtly – they may not raise immediate red flags.

For example:

• Lung cancer in women is more likely to present with fatigue, shortness of breath, or back pain, rather than a persistent cough.
• Colorectal cancer symptoms in women may be mistaken for digestive issues or irritable bowel syndrome.
• Bladder cancer symptoms in women are often misattributed to urinary tract infections.

Research shows that when symptoms don’t match the “classic” pattern, diagnosis tends to be delayed – and women are more likely to fall into that category.

2. Gender Bias Still Exists in Healthcare

Most doctors are caring professionals doing their best under time pressure. But unconscious bias can still shape clinical decisions.

Studies show that women’s symptoms are more likely to be:

• Described as vague
• Considered emotional or stress-related
• Managed conservatively at first

Men, on the other hand, are more likely to be referred quickly for diagnostic tests when presenting with similar complaints.

This doesn’t mean doctors don’t care – it means healthcare systems were historically designed around male patterns of disease, and change has been slow.

3. Women Are More Likely to Delay Seeking Help

Research also shows that women – particularly older women – often wait longer before seeking medical advice. Common reasons include:

• Not wanting to “make a fuss”
• Assuming symptoms are part of aging
• Prioritizing family or caregiving responsibilities
• Fear of being dismissed or brushed off

Ironically, the very traits women are praised for – resilience, caregiving, self-sacrifice – can increase the risk of delayed diagnosis.

4. Screening Gaps and Age Assumptions

While screening programs save lives, women over 60 may fall into gaps:

• Screening guidelines may stop at a certain age.
• New symptoms may be attributed to menopause, aging, or chronic conditions.
• Doctors may assume patients will speak up if something is wrong – when many women hesitate to do so.

Research suggests that women over 50 are particularly vulnerable to having symptoms normalized rather than investigated.

Why This Matters More After 60

As we age, cancer risk increases – for everyone. But delayed diagnosis in older women can be especially harmful because:

• Cancers may be more advanced by the time they’re detected.
• Treatment options may be more limited.
• Recovery can be harder with other health conditions present.

The good news? Awareness makes a powerful difference.

Women who advocate for themselves – who ask questions, follow up, and persist – are more likely to receive timely diagnoses.

How Women Can Advocate for Timely Diagnosis

Self-advocacy doesn’t mean being confrontational. It means being clear, prepared, and persistent.

1. Trust Persistent Symptoms

If something doesn’t feel right – especially if it lasts more than a few weeks – it deserves attention.

Red flags include:

• Ongoing fatigue that doesn’t improve
• Unexplained weight loss
• Persistent pain
• Changes in bowel or bladder habits
• Breathlessness or chest discomfort
• New lumps, bleeding, or swelling

If symptoms continue after an initial visit, go back. Research shows repeat visits are common before diagnosis – persistence matters.

2. Be Specific and Direct

When describing symptoms:

• Focus on what has changed.
• Explain how it affects daily life.
• Mention how long it has been happening.

You might say:

“This pain is new for me, it’s getting worse, and it’s affecting my sleep. I’m concerned and would like further investigation.”

Clear language helps doctors understand urgency.

3. Ask Questions – and Write Them Down

It’s okay to ask:

• “What else could this be?”
• “What tests would rule out something serious?”
• “If this doesn’t improve, what’s the next step?”

Bringing a list – or a trusted person – can help ensure your concerns are heard.

4. Seek a Second Opinion When Needed

If symptoms persist and you feel dismissed, seeking another opinion is not overreacting – it’s responsible healthcare.

Research shows that second opinions often lead to earlier diagnosis, particularly for women.

Knowledge Is Power – and Protection

The gender gap in cancer diagnosis isn’t about blame. It’s about systems, history, and habits that haven’t always served women well.

But women today are better informed than ever. By understanding the risks, trusting our instincts, and advocating for ourselves, we can help close this gap – for ourselves, and for the women who come after us.

Your health matters. Your symptoms matter. And you deserve to be heard.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

Have you had any medical concerns that were dismissed by health professionals? Did the delay in diagnosis cause any complications? On the other hand, have you experienced readiness to be helped by a doctor?