Month: January 2026

Some people are decluttering completely alone. No one notices the bags leaving the house. No one sees the hours spent deciding what to keep and what to let go.

No one says, “Wow, it looks so much better.”

They feel tired before they even begin. And by the time they stop for the day, it can feel like no one sees them or acknowledges the effort it took to get there.

On the other side are people decluttering with someone else in the home. A spouse or partner who questions every decision, rescues items from the donation pile, or says: “Why are you getting rid of that?We might need that someday.You’re moving too fast.”

Both situations are exhausting.

Both are deeply emotional.

And both are far more common than anyone wants to admit.

Yet most decluttering advice treats this struggle like a personal shortcoming, as if the only reason it feels hard is because you lack discipline, motivation, or the right system.

Let me say this clearly, especially if you’re already discouraged.

Decluttering feels impossible for many people not because they’re doing it wrong, but because they’re doing it under real life constraints.

The Decluttering Advice That Quietly Sets People Up to Fail

Much of the advice out there assumes:

• You have uninterrupted time.
• You live with someone who shares your goals.
• Motivation shows up on demand.
• You have steady physical energy.
• You have mental clarity at the end of the day.

And if none of that is true, the advice doesn’t resonate. Instead, it pushes harder and tells you to keep going anyway.

So, people push harder too. Until they burn out, stall, or give up.

I’ve worked with countless people who sincerely wanted a simpler home but were navigating caregiving, chronic pain, demanding work schedules, or quiet resistance from a spouse or children.

They didn’t lack commitment.

They lacked supportive conditions.

And instead of questioning the advice, they questioned themselves, thinking, “If this mattered enough to me, I’d find a way.”

Decluttering Alone: The Weight No One Sees

There is a particular heaviness that comes with decluttering alone.

You are the only one making decisions.

The only one noticing progress.

The only one holding the vision for why you want to declutter in the first place.

Over time, the process can make you feel invisible.

One client once said, “I load the car with donation bags, but when I come home, I feel more alone than ever because no one saw what it took to get there.”

That’s the hidden cost.

Decluttering alone often means:

• No one confirms you made the right decision.
• No one helps absorb the doubt.
• No one shares the emotional or physical labor.

Every decision lives in your head and your heart. Eventually, the exhaustion isn’t about the stuff. It’s about being the only witness to your effort.

Where do you feel most alone in your decluttering process, and what kind of support do you wish you had?

Decluttering with a Resistant Partner: A Different Kind of Hard

On the other side is the person decluttering with a naysaying partner.

You’re not alone, but you’re not supported either. Your choices are questioned. Your pace is second guessed. Items are pulled back from donation piles.

This is not just annoying. It’s frustrating, undermining, and often demeaning.

Because now you’re not only decluttering, you’re also defending yourself.

Here’s the hard truth most people never hear:

You’re not arguing about stuff. You’re arguing about identity and control. For you, less stuff feels like freedom. For your partner, less stuff can feel like loss.

Neither is wrong. But pretending it’s only about the stuff keeps everyone stuck.

How to Keep Going When Your Partner Isn’t Ready

You cannot declutter someone else’s mindset or nervous system. But you can protect your own momentum.

What helps, even if it feels uncomfortable at first:

• Hands off decluttering zones where your decisions are not questioned.
• Claiming personal spaces where you decide, no approval needed.
• Using neutral language such as “I’m making space for myself.”
• Stopping the habit of asking for permission.

This isn’t about winning an argument. It’s about refusing to shrink your needs to keep the peace. What space in your home could you make decisions about without consensus?

Energy: The Obstacle No One Plans For

Decluttering doesn’t fail because people don’t care. It fails because energy runs out. There is physical energy, mental energy, and emotional energy. Clutter drains all three before you even realize it.

Decision making is exhausting. Sentimental items are exhausting. Negotiating with a resistant partner is exhausting.

Clutter isn’t just what you see. It’s what has already tired you out.

Working With Low Energy Instead of Fighting It

Progress doesn’t require pushing through exhaustion. It requires respecting your limits.

That might look like:

• Shorter decluttering sessions
• Fewer categories at a time
• Sitting instead of standing
• Stopping while you still feel okay
• Taking a short rest or nap

One client made more progress when she stopped quitting in frustration and started stopping on purpose. Rest became part of the plan.

What would “enough for today” look like if you trusted yourself?

Time: The Pressure That Makes Decluttering Feel Harder

People don’t fail at decluttering because they lack time. They fail because they believe it requires large blocks of time. It doesn’t. Fifteen minutes a day is far more effective than two hours once a month.

Progress isn’t measured by how much you finish. It’s measured by how often you return without dread and maybe even with curiosity.

Physical Limitations Are Not a Personal Failure

So many people ask, “How can I declutter when I’m in constant pain?”

Pain changes the rules. So does mobility. So does stamina. Your body is not an obstacle. It’s information.

Try this instead:

• Sit down while decluttering
• Ask for help
• Work slower
• Take longer
• Acknowledge small wins
• Give yourself grace

Motivation Isn’t the Missing Piece

People wait for motivation, then blame themselves when it doesn’t arrive. But motivation follows clarity, not pressure. Shame kills momentum. Permission restores it.

You don’t need motivation. You need permission to start imperfectly. What are you waiting to feel before you begin? And who taught you that rule?

What Actually Changes Everything

Decluttering doesn’t get easier because you find a better system. It gets easier when you stop trying to prove something.

Decluttering becomes lighter when:

• You stop proving you can push through any circumstance.
• You stop proving how serious you are.
• You stop proving your worthiness of change.

You don’t need permission from a naysayer. You’re doing this for you. When self-trust replaces self-criticism, everything shifts.

You’re Not Behind; You’re Human

If decluttering feels hard, it’s because you’re navigating real life with real courage. You’re not failing. You’re not broken. You’re not lazy.

You’re doing something physically, mentally, and emotionally difficult in a life that already asks a lot of you. And that deserves respect. From others. And especially from yourself.

Ready for Support That Meets You Where You Are?

If you’d like guidance that respects your energy, your time, and your reality, download my free QuickStart Decluttering Guide. It’s designed to help you begin without pressure, perfection, or burnout.

You can also join my YouTube Simplicity Circle, a supportive monthly membership where you’ll connect with others on the same journey.

I look forward to seeing you there.

Final Reflection:

Where are you on your decluttering journey? Do you feel your efforts are appreciated or undervalued? Has anyone ever questioned your decluttering decisions?

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Originally posted at: Kathy Hilton’s White Lace Top and Skirt

Photo: @suttonstracke

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Originally posted at: Sutton Stracke’s Orange Satin Dress

Here we are in the first month of the new year. It can feel exciting if you are happy to say goodbye to 2025, and it can feel daunting… and it can even feel both at the same time.

Before the holidays began, I read an article by Maria Shriver that included an exercise which resonated with me, and I thought it might for many of you 60 & Me-ers as well!

I’ve written before about the importance of taking care of ourselves first. I’ve also written about how so many of us are too busy with the “shoulds” of life, prioritizing others’ needs above our own and how we don’t take the time to look into our deep down for the answers to our questions.

As Shriver put it, we forget to check in with our own hearts, or maybe we’re just afraid to express our true desires. She wrote, “But here’s the truth: if you don’t know what you truly want, then it’s hard to know where you are going. It’s hard to know what steps to take to get anywhere.”

Shriver’s Exercise

The exercise she shared is to write a list in the first person: What do I really want? She gave a few prompts that I think are helpful and perhaps instead of New Year’s resolutions, we try and incorporate our desires into this format as another option. The idea behind this process is to set the intention and provide a roadmap to get closer to making it happen.

So here are a few questions to ask yourself and then answer them with a pen and paper:

1. What do I really want for my health right now?
2. What do I really want for my relationships?
3. What do I really want to learn or explore?
4. What do I really want to let go of?
5. What do I really want to feel more of every day?

Don’t Overthink It

She says to not overthink it; just start writing. It can be anything from the desire to travel, taking better care of your health, wanting to learn to trust yourself more, getting more fresh air, drinking more water, learning to listen better, or having more love in your life.

I hope you will give this a try!

Speaking of love, I wrote another spoken word poem; and it’s about love, called “Let Love Fall In.” I guess one thing I really want in this new year is more love in our lives, and this is how I expressed it. In case you’d like to see it, you can find it on YouTube at this link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iODVpbHp0A8&t=1s

In closing, I want to share a quote with you that is attributed to Zig Zigler, which I think lends itself well to this, the beginning of a new year.

The 3 C’s of Life Choices, Chances, Changes

You must make the choice to take a chance if you want anything in life to change.

Some people think of the new year as just another day in another month. Some use it as a way to begin again with a clean slate.

The fact is, we can start with a clean slate any day of the week, and, frankly, any time of day if we wish.

So, whatever calendar moment or time of day or year works for you to help you take a step toward change (if you want something to change), make the choice to take the chance!

Any moment can be your clean slate. If you are unsatisfied with where you are, who you’re with, what you’re doing, your health, your friends, your situation…

Do. Not. Settle.

I’ve made some choices and taken chances in life… (and continue to) for which others (may) have thought me bonkers. Maybe they were right, maybe they weren’t, but it doesn’t matter what other people think! 

I encourage you to do the exercise I shared from Maria Shriver and see what it reveals to you. Then you decide if you are ready to make the choice to take the chance to create the change you wish for. I’d love to hear from you to see what you discover and what, if anything, you decide to do!

It’s your life. It’s 2026. What will it look like? You get to choose.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

What do you want for your life in 2026? What’s something you’ve dreamed to do and finally have the chance to pursue?

Picture this scene – a fragrant tomato sauce bubbles away on the stove, filling the air with its enticing aroma. On the windowsill, the scent of basil and mint transports you straight to the sunny climes of the Mediterranean, while on the table, a fruit bowl piled high with lemons and blood oranges adds a welcome splash of colour to the room.

How much do you know about Sicilian gastronomy? It could be that a recent holiday in Sicily has captured your culinary imagination, or you may just enjoy experimenting with cuisines from overseas and like the idea of introducing a hint of Sicily into your cooking. Start your journey into recreating Sicilian flavours at home with the ultimate Sicilian pick me up, a strong espresso with a soft amaretto biscuit, then get set to bring a taste of the island to your own table.

Why Bring Sicilian Flavours into Your Kitchen

In common with the rest of Italy, here in Sicily, we’re very proud of the culture that surrounds our food. Our regional version of the Mediterranean diet is still largely made up of olive oil, fruit, vegetables, seafood and whole grains, with limited amounts of dairy and meat, so it’s essentially a really healthy diet. Sicilian food is all about using seasonal ingredients that are grown locally, avoiding, where possible, ultra-processed foods.

We also see mealtimes as social occasions for adults and children, time to gather together to chat while we enjoy delicious food.

I’m sure many of us also find that challenging ourselves with new flavours and recipes from overseas can be enormously satisfying. And there are times when a traditional Sicilian dish is like enjoying a mini holiday in Sicily on a plate!

Food can provide a wonderful bridge between our everyday life and far-flung places, and using specific ingredients to make dishes that you’ve tasted abroad is a great way to recreate holiday memories or perhaps even a way to explore a particular cuisine before heading overseas. And best of all, when it comes to Sicilian food, it may be easier than you ever thought.

Sicilian Food vs. The Rest of Italy

So how does Sicilian food differ from the rest of Italy? Each region of Italy has its own recipes and traditions, often handed down over centuries, and the way that a particular dish is made can even vary from one village to another. But Sicilian food, in particular, is influenced by several factors.

Firstly, centuries of rule by others has resulted in a fusion of Mediterranean cultures, with elements of Arab, Norman, French, Spanish and Greek cuisine all present. Hence the combination of flavours in dishes such as ‘caponata’, a sweet and sour aubergine bake made with vinegar, sugar and pine nuts.

Or the widespread use of couscous in the Trapani area in the west of Sicily, reflecting the North African influence.

Secondly, an island setting means we have an abundance of seafood, and long, hot summers result in a profusion of basil, capers and mint.

We also have a long tradition of street food, with snacks such as ‘arancini’ (rice balls) and ‘panelle’ (chickpea fritters) playing a central role in daily life. Plus, widespread use of almonds mean more sweet things than elsewhere in Italy, with almond based biscuits and pastries appearing at every celebration – or frankly, at any time!

Key Sicilian Ingredients for Your Store Cupboard

One of the reasons that Sicilian food is so healthy is in its use of fresh seasonal items. However, you’ll still need some store cupboard items so if this has whetted your appetite, it’s worth first stocking up on some basic ingredients.

Start with some extra virgin olive oil, a selection of vinegars, salted capers, olives, sardines and anchovy fillets. Dried oregano, cinnamon, raisins, olives and pine nuts, and couscous, pasta and breadcrumbs will also all come in handy. Buy the fresh produce such as fish, fruit, vegetables and ricotta or pecorino cheese as and when you need it.

Simple Everyday Sicilian Cooking

The beauty of Sicilian cooking is in its simplicity. Check out recipes for Pasta alla Norma (with tomato sauce, eggplant, basil and ricotta salata) or Pasta alle Sarde (with canned rather than fresh sardines, fennel, pine nuts, raisins and breadcrumbs), two dishes that are simple to make, affordable and healthy. Or buy some fresh swordfish or tuna, and prepare it in the classic Sicilian way, with olive oil, tomatoes, capers and olives in a pan, served alongside a light fennel and orange salad.

What About Sicilian Desserts and Sweet Treats?

Most people are familiar with Sicilian cannoli and ‘cassata’, the elaborate multi-layered celebration cake. However, there are far simpler, and equally delicious, sweet treats to make which are classically Sicilian. Start with a batch of squidgy ‘Amaretti Siciliani’, Biscotti Regina (sesame almond cookie) or almond brittle. Common to all the biscuits is a heavy use of almonds, citrus, honey and spices.

Experience Sicily at Home… Then Experience It in Person

Once you’ve had a taste of Sicilian food, what could be better than visiting Sicily and sampling some of these dishes in situ? Once you get there, you’ll find ample opportunities to broaden your knowledge of Sicilian flavours and learn more about the prominent role food plays in daily life in Sicily. Explore local markets or the huge food markets in Palermo, Catania and Syracuse, book a wine tasting at a local vineyard and take a cooking class or two to perfect a couple of dishes to whip up in your own kitchen.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

Are you interested in learning more about Sicilian food? Have you been to Sicily? Have you ever taken cooking classes on an overseas holiday?