Month: March 2026

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Originally posted at: Dara Levitan’s Red Top and Leggings

Standing at the terminal on a recent trip to Japan, I faced a small but nagging question: Should I pay an extra $70 each way to select my seat? It was the longest flight I’d ever taken, and I wanted to arrive as comfortable and pain-free as possible.

Depending on when you booked your flight, it is possible to see whether the flight is full by checking the airline’s seat map. If the plane looks half-empty, I will often take my chances. But if only a handful of seats remain, that’s usually a sign the flight will be full, and it may be worth paying to secure the seat you want if there’s still one available.

When you are a 60+ aged traveler, sometimes comfort trumps cost, but when you are traveling on a budget, how much is too much? After all, what you are really paying for is the ability to avoid the dreaded middle seat or being stuck so far back in the plane that it takes forever to disembark.

Sometimes that extra cost is worth it. Sometimes, it isn’t.

Here are five things to consider before pulling out your credit card.

#1. How Long Is the Flight?

For flights of one to three hours, most people can tolerate a little discomfort. Unless you are particularly tall or have mobility issues, it’s usually manageable.

But after about 90 minutes, many travelers start to feel the discomfort with aching joints, stiffness and a need to go to the restroom.

On longer flights, being able to get up easily or stretch your legs can make a real difference. The right seat may even determine whether you get any sleep at all.

#2. What Kind of Flyer Are You?

Some people simply tolerate the middle seat better than others.

If you’re average size, rarely sleep on planes, and tend to settle in without getting up much, the middle seat might not be a big issue for you.

But if you’re someone who needs space, moves frequently or values personal comfort, the extra fee for seat selection may be well worth it.

#3. Do You Need to Get Off the Plane Quickly?

If you have a tight connecting flight, seat choice can matter a lot.

Passengers seated toward the back of the plane can wait a long time before they are able to disembark. Meanwhile, those precious minutes tick away as you watch everyone ahead of you slowly gather their bags. This becomes more important if you have to go through immigration. Suddenly, a planeload of people is in front of you.

In that case, paying for an aisle seat closer to the front may save you a stressful (and painful) sprint through the airport. However, if you are like me and prefer to wait until everyone else has disembarked, where you sit is less important.

#4. Do You Love Window Views?

For some travelers, the window seat is part of the magic of flying. Looking out at the clouds or the landscape below can make the experience more enjoyable. For nervous flyers, it can also feel reassuring to see what is happening outside the aircraft and make you feel more grounded.

In that case, it may be worth the extra cost.

#5. Do You Need to Stretch or Get Up Frequently?

If you find yourself getting up regularly to stretch your legs or visit the restroom, an aisle seat can make the flight much easier.

There’s nothing worse than having to climb over two sleeping, disgruntled passengers every half hour or so. Aisle seats give you the freedom to stand, stretch and move without disturbing anyone. This may be important if you have problems with blood flow in your legs and need to walk up and down often to avoid cramping.

My Own Seat Gamble

The second leg of my flight to Japan was 14 hours. Since I was traveling on a tight budget, I decided to take my chances and skip the $70 seat fee.

On the way there, I got lucky and ended up with a window seat on a completely full flight. Even though I was unable to sleep, the fact that I could lean against the window and grab some much-needed extra room was handy. Also, only having one neighbor to contend with lessened the fight for the armrest and the invasion on personal space. As it turned out, the flight was long but comfortable, and I was glad that I had been able to save the money.

On the return trip, I was assigned a middle seat but asked to be moved. My new seat had extra legroom and was an aisle seat next to a young mother and her two small children. Fortunately, the kids were wonderful. It was a night flight, and they barely made a sound, so the trip home turned out just fine once again, saving the additional fee.

A Compromise Option

There’s always a middle ground. You could pay for seat selection one way either to start your trip with a little extra comfort or to make the journey home more pleasant.

And remember: there’s one in three chance you’ll get lucky and land a window or aisle seat without having to pay. Hopefully, towards the front of the plane.

You can also try asking politely at the gate if any seats have opened up. Sometimes passengers don’t show up, and gate agents can reassign seats.

As in most things in life, asking nicely goes a long way.

Read more about my trip Solo Trip to Japan at 66? These 5 Apps Made It Stress-Free.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

What about you? Do you usually choose your seat or take your chances and hope for the best?

I don’t know about you, but as I get older, my tolerance for small talk decreases. In my active career days, I used to be in a profession in which schmoozing was important. I often took CEOs of public companies out to dinner to discuss their business goals. I advised many management teams and formed meaningful relationships with the investment community. Trust me when I tell you, a lot of small talk was involved.

Lower Tolerance for Idle Chit Chat

Now, however, I find that my tolerance for idle chit chat is not very high. I don’t know if I am all talked out, or if I just rather be spending my time having more significant conversations with people who are more important to me.

I noticed this pattern developing back at the start of the school year. There is an annual coffee for parents at my son’s school. I didn’t go. The thought of hanging around for 1.5 hours discussing how our summers were and which classes our kids were taking this year just didn’t appeal to me.

More recently, there was a gathering of my condo community in order for all the neighbors to get to know each other better. I didn’t go to this either. Anyone I want to know, I already do and am in contact with. Bah humbug!

More and more often, I find myself at gatherings and I can’t wait for the cocktail hour to end. I have this general feeling of wasting time, eager to move on to the main event.

Socioemotional Selective Theory

Thinking that the issue must be with me – after all, I used to be so good at small talk and enjoyed learning about other people’s interests – I did some research and, no, I’m not alone. Evidently, Socioemotional Selectivity Theory is at play.

Sounds scary, doesn’t it? It’s not. Basically, priorities change throughout our lifetime and as we age, we have a tendency to want more meaningful relationships and have less tolerance for shallow interactions. I am not so unique and am experiencing what many others do at my age: taking an inventory of one’s life and focusing on what really matters. This is just another result of aging that I didn’t see coming. Turns out, I’m not a total narcissist; I just value my time.

Not everyone experiences this, and I actually have one friend whose social life has expanded as she got older. Other friends have reinforced the notion that one’s friend circle gets smaller as you age.

The Value of Time Becomes More Prevalent as We Age

I don’t want to be rude, but my time is valuable. That wonderment I experienced as a young adult has definitely lessened, and I am finally realizing that I don’t need to be the life of the party, nor have many invitations. Being active in activities that I enjoy, having a tight group of friends, and being healthy are all I need to be happy and productive.

So, the next time you are bored in a conversation, by all means excuse yourself. Small talk is just that – small, polite conversation about unimportant or uncontroversial matters (that is the actual definition from a dictionary). If the topic interests you, that’s great, if not – don’t feel bad walking away in order to participate in something that you find more compelling. In the spirit of Joan Rivers, if someone asks, “Can we (small) talk,” don’t feel bad if you simply don’t want to. At our age, we have earned that privilege.

Also read I’m Having an Issue with Growing Old.

Let’s Discuss:

Do you find yourself becoming more of a wall flower as you get older or are you still the life of the party? Have you noticed a shift in your behavior in social settings?

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Style Stealers

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Originally posted at: Bailey Taylor’s White Printed Pajamas

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Style Stealers

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Originally posted at: Bailey Taylor’s Red Cable Knit Cardigan