Month: March 2026

Photo: @salleycarson

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Top Posts

Amanda Batula’s Cartier Watch from Kyle

Mia Calabrese’s Blue Gingham Mini Dress

Rachel Zoe’s Foundation Stick

Ciara Miller’s White Babydoll Dress

Dorit Kemsley’s Polka Dot Look in Italy

Amanda Batula’s Yellow Silk Crop Top and Skirt

Southern Charm Season 11 Reunion Looks

Kyle Richards’ Green Floral Pants and Yellow Top

Ciara Miller’s Pink Strapless Maxi Dress

Kyle Richards’ Light Flared Jeans and Blue Striped Cropped Shirt

Ciara Miller’s Tan Sheer Balloon Sleeve Top and Sunglasses

Rachel Zoe’s Baroque Print Long Dress

Ciara Miller’s Beige Pleated Poplin Midi Dress

Rachel Zoe’s Eyeshadow Stick

Kyle Richards’ Lip Gloss in the Hamptons

Dorit Kemsley’s Red Knotted Tank Top

Kyle Richards’ Aviator Glasses

Rachel Zoe’s Lip Gloss

Kyle Richards’ Floral Leopard Confessional Look

Kyle Richards’ Black and White Bodysuit

Originally posted at: Salley Carson’s Blue Striped Pants Set

Many women expect the empty nest. They anticipate quieter homes, fewer family obligations, and more independence.

What they do not expect is the emotional shift that sometimes occurs when adult children begin living fully independent lives.

For some mothers, that shift includes distance. When it happens, many women ask themselves a painful question: What did I do wrong?

The Instinct to Revisit the Past

When relationships with adult children become strained, mothers often revisit their years of parenting with a critical eye. They remember moments they wish they had handled differently. They replay arguments from long ago. They wonder if one decision during their children’s younger years somehow damaged the relationship.

But this instinct toward self-blame often overlooks an important truth. Adult children are living complex lives shaped by many influences beyond their parents.

Adult Children Are Individuals

By the time children reach adulthood, their lives include experiences that parents cannot fully see. They form friendships, romantic relationships, and professional identities. They develop beliefs and perspectives that may differ from the ones they grew up with.

Sometimes these differences naturally create distance between generations. That distance can feel painful for mothers who spent decades deeply involved in their children’s lives. But it does not automatically mean that anyone failed.

The Emotional Trap of Guilt

When mothers believe they are responsible for their adult children’s choices, guilt can quietly take over. They begin carrying emotional burdens that do not belong to them. Then they try harder to repair the relationship, sometimes becoming more anxious and involved than their adult children want.

Ironically, this can create more tension rather than less.

A Different Way to Think About Motherhood

Motherhood does not end when children become adults.

But it does evolve.

The role shifts from guiding and protecting to something more subtle. It becomes a relationship between two adults rather than a relationship between parent and child.

That shift can feel uncomfortable at first. Yet it can also open the door to something meaningful: a relationship based on mutual respect rather than responsibility.

Rediscovering Your Own Life

Many women reach their 60s and 70s after decades of caring for others. They have raised families, supported spouses, and built households that revolved around the needs of their children.

When adult children become independent, mothers often rediscover something they set aside for years.

Their own lives.

This stage can include new friendships, travel, learning opportunities, volunteer work, creative pursuits, and personal growth.

The love between mother and child does not disappear when roles change. But mothers are allowed to continue growing as individuals as well.

A New Chapter

If you are experiencing distance from an adult child, it may be one of the most emotionally complex stages of motherhood.

Yet it can also become the beginning of a new chapter. One where love continues, but self-blame gradually gives way to clarity and peace.

If this is a season you are navigating, I created a short guide called 5 Truths to Help You Let Go with Love. It offers gentle encouragement for mothers whose relationships with adult children are changing.

Download 5 Truths HERE.

Let’s Discuss:

Are you carrying blame for a distance in your relationship with your adult child? Have you tried shrinking the distance only to see it widen?

Every March, during Women’s History Month, we celebrate women who made history: pioneers, activists, leaders, and trailblazers whose names appear in books and documentaries. Their contributions deserve recognition. But as someone who works in the funeral profession and also serves as a life coach, I often think about another group of women whose strength rarely makes headlines.

They are not famous. They are daughters, wives, sisters, mothers, and friends. Yet in some of life’s most difficult moments, they quietly become the emotional center holding everyone else together.

Working around death gives you a different perspective on people. And one thing I have seen over and over again is this: when grief arrives, women often step forward first.

The Women Who Step Forward

In the days following a death, someone has to make the calls, gather the photos, meet with the funeral director, and begin the process of saying goodbye. Very often, that person is a woman.

She is the daughter arranging the service while comforting her siblings.

She is the widow greeting visitors with grace even when her own heart is breaking.

She is the sister organizing the details so everyone else can focus on remembering.

In my work, I see women quietly become the emotional anchors of families during loss. They manage the logistics, absorb the emotions of others, and hold space for grief in ways that are rarely acknowledged.

This kind of strength rarely appears in history books, but it is everywhere.

When Death Was Women’s Work

One of the things many people don’t realize is that historically, death care was women’s work.

Long before funeral homes existed, death happened in the home. Women were the ones who cared for the body, washed it, dressed it, and prepared it for burial. These women were sometimes called “layers-out” or “watchwomen.” They cared for the dead the same way they cared for the sick: with compassion, dignity, and familiarity.

There was no industry then. No corporate structure. No formal funeral profession. It was simply part of community life.

Then the mid-1800s changed everything.

After the Civil War, embalming became more common so that soldiers could be transported home to their families. Over time, death care became professionalized. Funeral homes were established. Licensing and training programs were created.

And as the work became more structured and profitable, men increasingly dominated the profession.

In many ways, once death care became a business, it stopped being considered women’s work.

The Women Who Stayed

Even as the industry changed, women continued to lead and shape it in important ways.

One of the earliest examples was Henrietta Duterte, who became the first known woman in the United States to run a funeral home. After her husband died in 1858, she took over the family business in Philadelphia and operated it successfully for decades.

Her funeral home was not just a business. It was also a stop on the Underground Railroad, helping enslaved people escape to freedom.

Women like her proved something powerful: compassion and professionalism could exist together in death care.

A Profession Coming Full Circle

Today something interesting is happening in the funeral profession. More women are entering mortuary science programs than ever before. In many schools, women now make up the majority of students.

In some ways, the profession is coming full circle.

Women are returning to a role they historically held, not just as caretakers but as licensed professionals, business owners, and leaders in the field.

And honestly, I see that every day where I work.

The Women I Work Beside

I am incredibly lucky to work in a funeral home where women play a central role in the culture and the care families receive.

My boss, Tania, is one of those people who seems almost made for this profession. She is genuine, compassionate, and somehow manages to keep a sense of humor in a line of work where humor might seem impossible. But the truth is, you have to have it in this business. Without it, the emotional weight would be too heavy.

She has managed something that many women know well: balancing being a wife, a mother, a daughter, and a business owner, all while leading a funeral home with empathy and professionalism.

Our funeral home is mostly women, and I genuinely believe that brings something special to the environment. There is a kind of emotional intuition that happens naturally. Families often feel it the moment they walk through the door.

There is a warmth, a softness, and yes, maybe even a little estrogen in the room.

And honestly, I think that helps.

The Invisible Labor of Grief

One of the things I see most often in my work is what I call the invisible labor of grief.

After the funeral ends and everyone goes home, someone still has to deal with the paperwork, the thank-you notes, the estate questions, the endless decisions that follow a death.

Many times, that person is a woman.

As a life coach, I also see how women carry emotional responsibilities for everyone around them. They comfort others, manage family dynamics, and try to keep everything functioning even while their own hearts are hurting.

But grief does not disappear simply because we stay busy.

Eventually, every person needs space to feel their own loss.

Strength That Happens Quietly

During Women’s History Month, we often celebrate women who changed the course of history. But there are countless women whose strength unfolds quietly every day.

The woman sitting beside a hospital bed for weeks.

The daughter who manages every detail after a parent dies.

The widow who slowly rebuilds her life after losing her partner.

Working around death has taught me something important about strength. It does not always look dramatic or heroic.

Sometimes strength simply looks like getting through the day.

Honoring the Women We Do Not See

This month we will continue to celebrate the famous women whose names shaped history, and we should.

But I also think about the women who show up in funeral homes, hospitals, and living rooms every day, carrying the emotional weight of families and communities.

They are the caregivers.

The organizers.

The quiet leaders during life’s hardest moments.

They may never appear in textbooks, but their strength shapes families and communities in ways that matter deeply.

And if working in the funeral profession has taught me anything, it is this: some of the most powerful forms of courage happen quietly, one day at a time.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

Who do you honor during Women’s History Month? Do you only think of famous women or do you also honor those who have served quietly?

There are few wardrobe pieces that feel quite as elegant as a beautiful fur coat. Whether it’s a mink jacket you purchased years ago, a fox stole worn for special occasions, or a coat that was passed down through family, fur has a way of bringing instant sophistication to an outfit.

For many women, a fur coat also carries memories. It may remind you of a celebration, a winter trip, or a loved one who once wore it. Because of that, a fur garment is often more than just clothing. It becomes something worth preserving.

Many women remember a mother or grandmother carefully hanging a fur coat in the closet at the end of winter, gently brushing it and making sure it had enough room so the fur wouldn’t be crushed. Those small habits were part of a long tradition of caring for garments that were meant to last.

The good news is that a well-made fur coat can last for decades if it’s properly cared for. Fur is a natural material, and like leather or fine wool, it needs the right environment to stay soft and beautiful.

Unfortunately, many coats end up being damaged not because they were worn too much, but because they were stored the wrong way.

Over the years, I’ve seen a few storage mistakes come up again and again. The good news is that once you know what to avoid, protecting your coat becomes much easier.

Here are four of the most common mistakes women make when storing fur coats at home.

Mistake #1: Skipping Professional Storage During the Summer

When winter ends, many people simply hang their coats in the closet and forget about them until the following year.

That seems reasonable, but household closets are not always ideal for storing fur long term. During the warmer months, closets can become too warm or too dry, especially in homes with air conditioning or heating systems running regularly.

Fur pelts need a certain amount of natural humidity to stay supple. If the environment becomes too dry, the leather side of the pelt can slowly lose its natural oils. Over time this can make the coat stiff or fragile.

Professional furriers store coats in temperature- and humidity-controlled vaults designed specifically for fur garments. These vaults keep the pelts from drying out and help preserve the softness of the fur.

Summer storage is also a good opportunity for a furrier to inspect the coat, condition the pelts, and make sure everything is still in excellent shape. Small repairs or loose linings can often be addressed before they become larger problems.

Once fall arrives, the coat can be returned home ready for another winter of wear.

Even if you choose to store your coat at home, the key is making sure it stays in a cool, well-ventilated closet where the temperature remains fairly stable throughout the year.

Mistake #2: Storing Your Fur Coat in Plastic

Another very common mistake is storing a fur coat inside a plastic garment bag.

Plastic may seem protective, but it actually prevents the fur from breathing. Because fur is a natural material, it needs air circulation to stay healthy.

When a coat is sealed in plastic for long periods of time, moisture can become trapped inside the bag. That environment can lead to dryness, mildew, or damage to the pelts.

The best way to store a fur coat at home is surprisingly simple: hang it freely on a wide hanger and allow space around it in the closet.

If you need to cover it for travel, a breathable cotton garment bag is fine temporarily. But for long-term storage, your fur coat should be allowed to breathe.

Think of it the same way you would care for a leather jacket. Natural materials perform best when they have airflow and space rather than being sealed away.

Mistake #3: Using Mothballs or Storing Fur Near Strong Odors

Fur garments absorb odors very easily.

Because fur is organic, it tends to pick up scents from its surroundings. That means items like mothballs, perfumes, cleaning products, and cigarette smoke can all become embedded in the fur.

Mothballs are especially problematic. While they may protect certain fabrics from insects, their chemical smell can cling to fur fibers and be very difficult to remove.

Even professional cleaning sometimes struggles to fully eliminate those odors.

The same is true for storing fur near strong perfumes, household cleaning supplies, or smoking areas of the home.

For that reason, it’s best to keep fur coats in a clean, neutral environment away from strong scents or chemicals.

If your coat has been stored properly, it should have only a very light natural scent. That’s a good sign that the garment has remained in a healthy environment.

Mistake #4: Storing Fur in a Cedar Closet

Many people believe cedar closets are ideal for protecting clothing, but they are not always the best place for fur.

Cedar wood releases natural oils that repel insects, which is helpful for wool or cotton garments. However, those oils also create a strong scent that fur can easily absorb.

In addition, cedar can reduce moisture in the surrounding air. Over time that dryness can cause fur pelts to lose the flexibility they need to stay soft and durable.

Because of this, most furriers recommend storing fur garments in a neutral environment rather than in cedar closets or cedar chests.

A regular closet that stays cool and dry is usually a better choice.

A Small Detail That Makes a Big Difference

One simple step that many people overlook is the type of hanger used.

Wire hangers can distort the shoulders of a heavy coat over time. Instead, a wide padded hanger provides better support and helps the coat maintain its shape.

Also make sure the coat has enough space in the closet. Fur should never be tightly compressed between other garments.

Giving the coat room to hang naturally allows the fur to maintain its fullness and texture.

Occasionally giving the coat a gentle shake or brushing the fur lightly with your hand can also help keep the fur looking full and smooth.

Another helpful habit is to let the coat air out occasionally after wearing it in snow or light rain before placing it back in the closet.

Who Buys Fur Coats Today?

Another question that often comes up, especially for women who have coats stored away for many years, is what to do with a fur they no longer wear.

It’s not uncommon for someone to inherit a coat or simply find that their lifestyle has changed and the garment stays in the closet season after season.

At that point many people start asking practical questions like who buys fur coats or where they might be able to sell a fur coat safely.

There are still buyers who specialize in vintage fur garments, particularly coats made from mink, fox, sable, and other luxury furs. Depending on the style and condition, some coats can retain value even years after they were originally purchased.

Many women eventually type a simple question into Google: who buys fur coats near me? The answer today is a little different than it was years ago. While some cities still have local furriers, many reputable fur buyers now work nationwide. Instead of bringing a coat into a store, sellers often begin by sending photographs so the buyer can evaluate the style, condition, and type of fur. If the coat has resale value, the buyer can explain the next steps and arrange safe shipping. This approach has made it much easier for people across the country to sell a fur coat or learn whether a vintage mink coat or fox coat still has value, without needing to find a local shop.

For women who have coats they no longer wear, learning about the options available can sometimes be worthwhile. Even if the coat ultimately stays in the family, understanding its value and how to care for it properly helps preserve the garment for years to come.

A Timeless Piece Worth Protecting

Fur coats have remained part of winter wardrobes for generations because they combine warmth, craftsmanship, and beauty in a way few garments can match.

With the right care, a quality fur coat can last for decades and sometimes even become an heirloom passed down through families.

By avoiding a few common storage mistakes – sealing fur in plastic, exposing it to strong odors, or storing it in environments that are too dry – you can help protect the softness and elegance that made you fall in love with the coat in the first place.

A little attention once a year goes a long way toward preserving a garment that may continue to be enjoyed for many winters to come.

If treated thoughtfully, a beautiful fur coat can remain part of a woman’s wardrobe for many decades, carrying both warmth and memories through many winters.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

Do you know how to store your fur coat? Do you perform yearly maintenance?

The other morning, I was sitting in a bath at 11 o’clock on a weekday, coffee already cold on the edge of the tub, and I had a very strange thought. I should be somewhere. For most of my life, I always was. Wake up early. Drink the coffee quickly. Show up to the meeting. Keep the calendar full. Produce something. Fix something. Improve something. Solve something. If there was a problem, push harder. If something broke, work longer. If life felt uncertain, tighten the routine.

That rhythm carried me for decades. It built careers, organizations, relationships, and a reputation for being the person who could figure things out. It carried me through motherhood, the kind where you are packing lunches at 6 a.m., answering work calls at 8, and pretending you are not exhausted at 3pm drinking copious amounts of coffee, because there is no option not to show up.

Somewhere along the way, the rhythm shifted.

Not dramatically. Not all at once. It slipped in quietly, the way aging tends to do. One small adjustment at a time. Maybe like a dimmer switch. Or the frog that does not realize the pot is getting hotter until it is already too late.

And when I noticed, I fought it like it was the only thing that mattered.

Fighting the Current

I used to think success meant staying the course no matter what.

Push through fatigue and doubt.

Push through discomfort and pain.

Push through anything, anyone, and anything in my way.

But life has a way of eventually confronting us with a reality we cannot outwork. I couldn’t figure out what was not sitting right and a wise friend told me to read David Brooks’ book The Second Mountain.

In The Second Mountain, Brooks describes this shift, the moment when life stops being about proving ourselves and starts becoming about understanding ourselves. The first mountain is achievement. Status. Momentum. The second mountain asks a much harder question:

Now that you have climbed, who are you?

What nobody tells you is that the transition between those mountains can feel like losing your footing. The habits that once defined you stop fitting quite right. The pace changes. The motivation shifts. What once energized you starts to feel oddly exhausting. You start to notice that the systems you built your life around were designed for a version of you that no longer exists. The urgency that once fueled you now feels like noise. The structure that once held you up now feels like something you are pushing against.

I looked at my life, the one I worked so hard to build, and on paper it looked full. There was a lot to be grateful for. And I was. But I also knew something I could not ignore. I was not exactly who I wanted to be, and I was not fully where I wanted to be. Not in some dramatic, everything is wrong, way. In a quieter way. In the way where I was still saying yes to things I no longer believed in. Still showing up in roles that fit who I used to be. Still moving at a pace that no longer felt like mine.

I remember sitting in a meeting, saying all the right things, solving all the right problems, and having the very uncomfortable realization that I could do it well and not want to be doing it at all. That was new. And hard to admit. At first, I assumed something was wrong. Eventually, I realized something had simply changed. I could not quite name it, but everything felt different.

When I traveled to Alaska not long ago, I watched salmon making their final run upstream. I could have watched all day. The water was loud, relentless, unapologetic. The fish were darker than I expected, almost bruised looking, their bodies already changing. People stood quietly along the edge, watching something that felt both ordinary and profound at the same time.

The metaphors were right in front of my face. No escaping the truths I had been avoiding. Or maybe I was finally ready to listen. They only do this once, at the end of their lives, to spawn. They return to where they were born, traveling hundreds of miles upstream. They stop eating. Their bodies begin to deteriorate as they go. Everything they have is used for one final push forward.

Locals sometimes call them zombie fish. Not fully alive in the way we think of living but still moving forward. And standing there, I had an extremely uncomfortable thought. How much of my life had I been pushing that hard when I did not actually need to?

I was exhausted just watching them.

Experience, the Hard Way

Mark Twain once joked that experience comes in three forms: experience, damn experience, and more experience. By this stage of life, most of us have collected all three. Some of it came from success. A lot of it came from mistakes.

There is a moment in life when you realize you have built a considerable amount of wisdom from doing things wrong.

The wrong relationships.

The wrong assumptions.

The wrong battles.

The wrong priorities.

The wrong wardrobe.

And paradoxically, that realization does not weaken you. It strengthens you. Once you see clearly what does not work for you, your life begins to simplify. You stop forcing things that never fit in the first place.

It even shows up in your space. The closet where you keep reaching over five things to get to the one thing you wear. The kitchen cabinet filled with half-used boxes of food you thought you would become the kind of person who eats. Makeup bought for a version of you that never showed up. Socks still in the package. At some point you realize you are not organizing your life, you are negotiating with it.

And eventually, you stop negotiating.

The Hard Lesson of Letting Go

This is the most common battle cry of self-help gurus, therapists, and Disney characters, and yet it is the hardest thing to actually do. There is a quiet wisdom that comes later in life, the ability to recognize when something simply is not meant for you anymore.

There is a saying I have grown fond of:

What was meant for me will never miss me. What misses me was never meant for me.

This idea used to irritate me. It sounded passive. Too accepting. Now I see it differently.

Acceptance is not giving up.

Acceptance is clarity.

Back to those salmon, swimming upstream. They fight with everything they have left. The current is brutal. The rocks unforgiving. The journey relentless. It is the battle of their lives. Watching them, I realized something I wish I had understood earlier. Not everything deserves that level of effort. Human life is not meant to be one endless upstream battle, although sometimes it certainly does feel that way. Some fights matter. Others are simply the wrong river.

The New Rhythm of a Day

One of the strangest changes in my life has been my relationship with time. For decades my days were dictated by external expectations.

Meetings.

Deadlines.

Decisions.

People waiting for answers.

People waiting for solutions.

The structure was constant. Now my days sometimes look very different. Some nights I do not sleep well. Instead of forcing myself into a rigid morning routine, I let the day unfold more gently. Some mornings my first coffee happens at eleven. Sometimes I am sitting in a bath on a weekday morning and a small voice in my head whispers, You should be somewhere.

Then I remember. No, I should not. I climbed my first mountain. I have earned the right to a weekday morning bath. For the first time in my life, I do not live inside have to. I live inside what do I need today.

And that small shift has changed everything.

The Reality of the Body

Of all the adjustments that come with age, the most humbling is the body. I have fought my weight my entire life. That battle alone could fill a book. But aging introduces a new equation.

It is not just about weight anymore. It is about energy, recovery, stiffness, balance, and the slow accumulation of years lived fully, sometimes too fully.

Every high heel worn longer than it should have been.

Every moment I pushed through exhaustion because the job needed finishing.

Every time I ignored what my body was trying to tell me.

The bill eventually arrives. And it comes due whether you are ready or not. It is frustrating. It makes me sad. And yet I still go to the gym. I still brush my teeth. I still move my body.

Now I understand something I did not before. Maintenance is the work. I no longer expect my body to perform like it did at 30. I also know there are things I will never do the same way again. I am probably not running out at all hours of the night in high heels and pretending my body will forgive me the next day. That version of me had confidence. She also had denial.

But I can still show up.

I can hold the pose as long as I can hold it.

I can lift lighter weights.

I can honor my shoulder that does not want to move some days.

And I have learned something I did not understand before: If I do not move it, I lose it.

So the new goal is not perfection.

The new goal is partnership, my mind, body, and spirit working together to carry me through the flow of my day.

A New Reality

The biggest realization I have had in recent years is surprisingly simple. Life does not return to the way it once was.

Not after enough experience.

Not after loss.

Not after growth.

There is a new reality whether we are ready for it or not. We can fight it. Ignore it. Try to resist it. Many people do. They spend years trying to recreate the life they once had. Eventually most of us discover something profound. We are seeing the world differently because we are different.

Experience changes us.

Mistakes change us.

Time changes us.

And if we allow it, wisdom changes us too.

Acceptance

For years acceptance sounded like surrender to me. Now it feels like freedom.

When I stop fighting the rhythm of where I am in life, my days become easier. I move with more patience. I extend more kindness to others and to myself.

I stop measuring my life against outdated expectations. And something else happens.

Joy shows up in quieter places.

In a long morning coffee.

In a slower walk.

In the relief of letting go of something that was never truly mine to carry.

The rhythm of life has not disappeared. It has simply changed its tempo.

What’s Next

Learning to move with that rhythm instead of against it may be the greatest wisdom we earn along the way. Stop fighting it long enough to recognize it. Go with the flow.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

What changes have you gone through in the past decade? What have you had to accept about yourself?