Month: May 2026

Self-improvement has never been easier with a wealth of knowledge at your fingertips. Everywhere you look there is advice on faith, diet, relationships, travel, finances and career from a wide range of sources.

For anyone on a self-improvement journey, it doesn’t take long to realize that delving too deeply into the self-help culture can have a detrimental long-term effect on your psyche and damage the very confidence you are trying to build.

Let Me Explain:

Just as there is a phenomenon called Facebook envy, a situation where prolonged exposure to the supposed happiness and excitement of other people’s life can lead to discontent with your own. There is also a type of dissatisfaction caused by prolonged attempts at self-help and self-improvement especially when you feel you are constantly coming up short.

It is similar to the principle of making a New Year’s resolution. On the whole, making a New Year’s Resolution is a positive start to the New Year. Problem starts when your goals require drastic life changes that you quit “cold turkey.” These overnight shifts are unrealistic, unsustainable and ultimately set people up to fail. This failure gives their self-confidence a massive hit and reinforces the belief that they cannot do anything right.

No Two People Are the Same

Also, a self-help journey can be confusing. For instance, one source may describe how many tasks they complete before 9:00 a.m. while you may feel lucky to have stumbled out of bed by then. In this instance, early rising does not necessarily lead to a productive day for everyone. However, you have convinced yourself that in order to be successful, you will need to get up at 6:00 a.m. and it doesn’t sit well with your system.

The truth is, while many successful people do get up at the crack of dawn, many others do not and early rising is not a guarantee of success. It’s important to cherry pick the habits of people you want to emulate and use their advice as a general guide not a rule.

Social media, including platforms like Instagram, Facebook, Youtube, etc. love creating a feeling of deficit in our lives. A deficit it seeks to fill. It makes us feel inadequate and the only way to conquer this inadequacy is to consume more social media. It’s a vicious circle.

Take, for instance, your everyday celebrity. They always look stunning. You look at a photograph and marvel at how great they look just walking in the park. You don’t realize that there is a team of people tasked to making them look like that. Looking good is their job and it takes considerable time, effort and resources to maintain. They put the same amount of time and effort into their appearance as you do working 8 hours a day.

It’s the Same Lesson

The same lesson can be learned from self-help. I find self-help books inspirational and motivating. I have learned a great deal and picked up so many amazing tips. However, these books and videos are not crutches, they are merely loosely aligned goals to steer you in the right direction, not rules to live by.

Psychology research on self-concept suggests that constantly comparing your current self to an idealized version of yourself can increase feelings of inadequacy. Self-help content often emphasizes “ideal behaviors,” which can unintentionally widen the gap between where you are and where you think you should be. Too much emphasis on narrowing the gap can lead to anxiety and insecurity. Rather than seeing self-improvement as a journey, it is easy to fixate on how far you have to go.

In many instances, constant self-improvement can become a form of procrastination that feels productive. This is sometimes called ‘productive avoidance,” and it is when people think they can improve just by reading about improvement without putting in the actual effort to improve.

Often, people that are constantly attempting to improve have higher rate of anxiety, emotional exhaustion and depression stemming from a feeling of never being good enough. This happens when extremely high internal standards create constant self-criticism and dissatisfaction. Rather than feeling they are achieving some progress, they fixate on how far they have to go.

Comparison Brings No Results

It is unwise to compare yourself to something or someone that doesn’t exist or is merely two dimensional. You can read celebrity books but they, just like you, have insecurities and anxieties that their fans have no idea about. Portions of their lives are not going according to plan, and you only ever hear about that when their walls come crashing down.

Real and lasting change is best achieved slowly over a period of time not huge trajectory changes. Extreme changes will make you not only miserable and are not designed for long-term benefits.

Let’s Talk:

What changes have you been able to implement in your life? How did you accomplish them? Did you choose the slow, consistent route? Which self-help materials have you been able to tailor to your own life and priorities?

Photo: @salleycarson

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Originally posted at: Salley Carson’s Mint Mini Dress

There’s something I’ve come to notice as I’ve gotten older, and once I saw it, I couldn’t unsee it. It is this basic truth:

We don’t give ourselves much credit.

When I look back on my life, the facts are there. I built and ran businesses. I bought, remodeled, and sold twenty-six homes. I earned a pilot’s license. I played in bands. I raised two children and did my best to provide for them. I’ve written songs I’m proud of.

It’s a full life by any reasonable measure.

But that’s not what comes to mind first.

Accomplishments Give Way to Regrets

What shows up instead are the mistakes.

The wrong turns. The decisions I wish I had made differently. The moments I would change if I had the chance. Somehow, those carry more weight than everything that went right.

And I don’t believe this is just me.

Talk to almost anyone over 60, and you’ll hear a similar story. A lifetime filled with effort, work, love, and responsibility… followed by a quiet tendency to focus on what didn’t go perfectly.

Not in a dramatic way. Not in a way that stops us from living.

Just there.

Always there.

It makes me wonder why that is.

What Is It About Mistakes?

Maybe it’s because mistakes feel unfinished. The things we did right settle into place. They become part of who we are, part of the structure of our lives. We don’t question them. We don’t revisit them often.

But mistakes don’t settle the same way.

They stay active. They carry a kind of open-ended quality, as if they’re still waiting for correction, even though the moment has long passed. There’s no clean ending to them, so the mind keeps returning, as if there’s still something to figure out.

Or maybe it’s something else.

Maybe It’s the Standard We Held Ourselves to

Most of us didn’t go through life aiming to get by. We tried to do things right. We tried to be responsible, to make good decisions, to provide, to build something that mattered. And when we fell short of that – when we made a bad call or hurt someone or missed an opportunity – it didn’t just register as a mistake.

It registered as a failure to meet our own expectations.

And those are the kinds of things that stay with you.

There’s also a strange imbalance in how we remember things.

The good we’ve done often feels expected. It becomes normal. Of course we worked hard. Of course we showed up. Of course we did what needed to be done. Over time, those things lose their sense of significance, not because they weren’t important, but because they became part of the routine of living.

Mistakes Don’t Blend in That Way

Mistakes tend to stand apart.

They interrupt the story we thought we were writing. They become markers – moments we can point to and say, “That’s where I would have done it differently.”

And so we return to them.

Not always intentionally.

Sometimes it happens in quiet moments. Driving somewhere. Sitting alone. Watching a day go by. A memory surfaces, and it’s rarely the smooth, successful parts of life that come forward first.

It’s the rough edges.

The part of this that I find most interesting is how different it would look from the outside.

If someone else told my life story – if they laid it out without my internal commentary – I doubt they would focus on the same things I do. They would see the effort, the risks taken, the willingness to try, to build, to keep going.

They might even say, “That’s a life well lived.”

But that’s not the voice we carry inside.

Inside, the Focus Shifts

We remember the deal that didn’t work out the way it should have. The decision that cost us time or money. The moment we handled something poorly. The opportunity we didn’t take.

It’s not that we forget everything else.

It’s that we don’t give it the same attention.

And over time, that imbalance starts to shape how we see ourselves.

Not in an obvious way. Not in a way that anyone else would necessarily notice.

But quietly.

Subtly.

It becomes the lens we look through when we reflect.

I don’t have an answer for this.

I’m not offering a solution, and I’m not suggesting that we can simply decide to think differently. If it were that easy, we probably would have done it by now.

What I’ve come to believe is that the value may not be in fixing it.

The value may be in recognizing it.

Because once you see the pattern, something shifts.

The Beginning of a Change

You start to notice that your mind is doing what it has always done – returning to the same moments, giving them more weight than everything else. And in that notice, there’s a small bit of distance.

Not enough to erase the thoughts.

But enough to question them.

Enough to say, “That’s not the whole story.”

Because it isn’t.

If we can remember every mistake we’ve made, then everything else we’ve done is still there too. Every success, every effort, every time we got it right, every time we showed up when it mattered.

Those things didn’t disappear.

They just don’t ask for attention in the same way.

The Quiet Truth

Maybe that’s the quiet truth behind all of this.

Our lives are not defined by the moments we revisit the most.

They’re defined by the total of what we lived.

And when you look at it that way – even briefly – it becomes a little harder to ignore everything that went right.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

How often do you ruminate on mistakes you’ve made in the past? Do you think of your successes as often? Why do you think that is? Do my reflections sound similar to yours? Either way, please contribute to the conversation!

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Photo + ID: @madisonlecroy

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Originally posted at: Madison LeCroy’s White Barrel Leg Overalls

As we gracefully transition into our 60s and beyond, embracing our natural silver hair becomes an empowering symbol of experience and wisdom. Silver hair, with its distinct shine and unique texture, deserves to be cared for in a way that enhances its natural beauty while maintaining its health and vitality.

However, the aging process can lead to changes in hair texture, including dryness, thinning, and brittleness. Therefore, it’s essential to adopt hair care practices that nourish, protect, and rejuvenate our silver strands.

One of the most effective, natural ways to maintain healthy silver hair is by using enriched blends of carrier oils and essential oils. These oils not only provide deep hydration and nourishment but also promote scalp health and overall hair vitality. Here’s a clinically informed look at how incorporating these oils into your hair care routine can benefit silver hair, along with some recommended blends and applications.

Understanding Silver Hair: The Challenges of Aging Hair

As we age, our hair undergoes several changes that affect both its appearance and health:

Reduced Sebum Production

As we age, the sebaceous glands in our scalp produce less sebum (natural scalp oil), leading to drier hair that is more prone to breakage and split ends.

Thinning Hair

The rate of hair growth slows, and the density of hair follicles decreases, often leading to thinning or finer hair.

Textural Changes

The hair may become coarser or more wiry as melanin production decreases, which is particularly evident in silver hair.

Increased Sensitivity

The scalp’s sensitivity can increase with age, making it more prone to irritation and dryness.

These factors make it crucial to find natural solutions that address the specific needs of aging hair; solutions that offer hydration, strength, and nourishment without harsh chemicals. This is where carrier oils and essential oils shine, providing holistic care that restores moisture, enhances shine, and promotes a healthier scalp.

The Science of Carrier Oils: Moisture and Nourishment for Silver Hair

Carrier oils are extracted from the seeds, nuts, or kernels of plants and act as the base in which essential oils are diluted. They are rich in fatty acids, vitamins, and antioxidants that can deeply penetrate the hair shaft and scalp to provide moisture and repair damage. Some of the most effective carrier oils for silver hair care include:

Argan Oil

Argan oil, often referred to as “liquid gold,” is rich in vitamin E, essential fatty acids, and antioxidants. It deeply moisturizes the hair, restores elasticity, and provides a protective barrier against environmental stressors. Argan oil helps tame frizz and enhances the natural shine of silver hair, making it a perfect option for preventing dryness.

Jojoba Oil

Jojoba oil is structurally similar to the natural oils produced by the scalp, making it an ideal moisturizer. It helps regulate sebum production and hydrates the scalp, preventing dryness and flakiness. For silver hair, jojoba oil not only nourishes the strands but also promotes a healthy scalp environment that supports hair growth.

Rosehip Oil

Rich in essential fatty acids, antioxidants, and vitamins A and C, rosehip oil is known for its rejuvenating properties. It helps to promote hair growth, restore shine, and improve the texture of aging hair. Additionally, rosehip oil has anti-inflammatory properties, making it beneficial for calming an irritated scalp.

Coconut Oil

Coconut oil is a deeply hydrating carrier oil that penetrates the hair shaft to nourish and strengthen hair from within. It helps to repair damaged hair, reduce protein loss, and prevent hair thinning. Coconut oil also provides protection against the sun’s harmful UV rays, which can contribute to the deterioration of silver hair.

The Power of Essential Oils: Targeted Care for Silver Hair

Essential oils are highly concentrated plant extracts known for their therapeutic properties. When used in combination with carrier oils, they can address specific concerns related to aging hair. Some of the most beneficial essential oils for silver hair include:

Lavender Essential Oil

Lavender essential oil is widely recognized for its calming and restorative properties. It helps balance the scalp’s oil production, making it suitable for both dry and oily scalps. Lavender oil promotes hair growth by increasing circulation to the scalp, which can help revitalize thinning silver hair.

Rosemary Essential Oil

Rosemary oil is a powerhouse when it comes to stimulating hair growth. It improves blood circulation to the scalp, which can help rejuvenate hair follicles and reduce hair thinning. Rosemary oil also has antioxidant properties that help protect the hair from damage caused by free radicals.

Chamomile Essential Oil

Chamomile essential oil is known for its soothing and anti-inflammatory effects on the scalp. It helps calm irritation and promotes relaxation. For silver hair, chamomile oil can add a soft shine and can also reduce any yellow or brassy undertones in silver hair, giving it a more luminous, cool-toned appearance.

Cedarwood Essential Oil

Cedarwood essential oil is often used to promote healthy hair growth by stimulating the hair follicles. It also has anti-inflammatory properties that help balance the scalp and reduce flakiness or dandruff, which is especially common as the scalp becomes drier with age.

How to Use Carrier Oils and Essential Oils for Silver Hair

To maximize the benefits of carrier oils and essential oils, it’s important to incorporate them into your hair care routine in a way that addresses your specific needs. Here are some clinical, step-by-step methods for using these oils effectively:

#1. Scalp Massage for Circulation and Nourishment

A scalp massage is one of the best ways to stimulate hair growth and improve circulation to the hair follicles. Mix a few drops of your chosen essential oil (such as rosemary or lavender) with a tablespoon of carrier oil (such as jojoba or argan). Gently massage the oil blend into your scalp for 5–10 minutes before washing. This technique helps to deliver nutrients directly to the scalp while soothing any tension or stress.

#2. Hydrating Hair Mask

For an intensive treatment that deeply nourishes and hydrates, try a DIY hair mask.

Combine 2 tablespoons of coconut oil with 5–10 drops of chamomile or lavender essential oil.

Apply the mask to damp hair, focusing on the ends and areas that tend to be drier.

Leave the mask on for 20–30 minutes before washing it out with a mild shampoo. This helps restore moisture and improve the texture of silver hair.

#3. Leave-In Treatment for Shine and Protection

To maintain softness and shine, you can create a leave-in conditioner by mixing a few drops of essential oil with a carrier oil like argan or rosehip oil. Apply a small amount to the ends of your damp hair to lock in moisture, smooth frizz, and add a healthy glow to your silver strands.

#4. Scalp Health Routine

If you experience scalp irritation or dryness, using a nourishing scalp oil can help.

Combine 2 tablespoons of jojoba oil with 4–5 drops of cedarwood or rosemary essential oil.

Massage it into the scalp twice a week before washing your hair to improve scalp health and promote a healthy environment for hair growth.

A Natural Approach to Ageless Silver Hair

Silver hair is beautiful, unique, and a powerful reflection of life’s journey. With the right care, it can continue to shine brightly and gracefully. Carrier oils and essential oils offer a clinically-backed, natural way to nourish silver hair, helping to maintain its softness, shine, and strength. By incorporating these oils into your routine, you not only provide your hair with the essential nutrients it needs but also embrace a holistic approach to beauty that supports your well-being at every stage of life.

If you’re looking to care for your silver strands with the gentle power of nature, try experimenting with these oils to find the perfect blend for your hair’s needs. After all, the best beauty is the one that comes from within and with the right natural products, your silver hair can shine with health and vitality for years to come.

If you’re interested in sampling one of our 1oz customized “Carrier Blend” for enhancing the natural silver tones of your hair please send an email to your Grow Out Oils Customer Care Team and put 

“1 oz Glass Boston Amber Bottle Sample Carrier Blend” in the subject line. Please choose either Lavender or Cedarwood. Please note the sample is FREE, but there is a shipping and handling fee of $25.00.

This offer is only available to Sixty and Me Magazine Subscribers as a courtesy. Happy Mother’s Day!

Editor’s Note: Sixty and Me is not affiliated and does not receive any type of remuneration for running this courtesy offer.

You may also want to read Revitalize Your Body After 60: Dry Brushing, Lymphatic Health, and the Power of Aromatherapy.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

What is the state of your silver hair? Is it dry, brittle or thin? How do you care for it and has any product helped it shine?