We all want to live lives of meaning.
We want to find a purpose for our days and feel fulfilled in knowing we give
something to the world. We also want to enjoy our time and enjoy the fruit of
the labors we have worked long and hard for.

We All Deserve a Life
We Love

We don’t want to settle for less. We
don’t want to end up living a life of regret. Yet we often struggle to let go
of the familiar in order to move into something new and potentially better. We
settle for comfortable, okay, easy. The usual, the average, and the known is
safe.

It’s like clothing. I have and wear a basic
blue t-shirt. It is well worn, soft, and comfortable. It is easy and doesn’t
require thought. Does it thrill me? No. Does it make me feel amazing? No. Does
it tell the world who I am and what I came for? No and no.

It is serviceable. It is fine.

There is nothing wrong with wearing a blue
t-shirt every now and again. It serves a purpose. But if we only ever wear the
t-shirt, it can also hold us back, and limit us from experiencing something
even better.

Maybe I would look and feel more confident
in a silk blouse. Maybe I would feel happier in yellow. I’ll never know if I
just settle for the blue t-shirt.

The t-shirt can be an analogy for our
lives. If we stick to the easy and safe things, the things that require no risk
or change, what we end up with is serviceable. It is fine.

I don’t want to live a life that is
serviceable and fine. I want more, and I think you do too.

So, what’s stopping us? Why don’t we
jump into the pool of life with both feet? Why do we settle instead of pursing
something amazing?

We’ve got fears, habits, and beliefs
that stop us in our tracks. We can move past those life-sucking limitations if
we understand them and learn how to change or replace them.

Here are 5 reasons why it is so difficult
to redesign our lives and what we can do to turn that around.

You Don’t Know What
You Want

This stage of life is often more freeing
and open than anything you experienced before. In the past, you probably worked
toward typical life goals. You worked towards a career. You had visions of a
home and a family. Those things had typical paths and trajectories that you
followed.

In your 60s and beyond, work and life
goals are more varied. Do you want to travel? Start a business? Spend more time
with family? Become a master gardener?

Think of what you love and what gives
you meaning. What have you always wanted to do? Now is your time.

You Lose Familiar
Jobs and Titles

When you have a career, you have a
title and job description. Our work often becomes a part of our identity. We
also have titles and roles in our personal life – mother, father, daughter, son, wife,
husband, friend. These roles also change as we age.

The loss of a title often means a
struggle with our identity.

I was a college professor, and when I
left my job, I struggled with what to call myself. Likewise, when my parents
died, I felt a loss of the word “daughter.” If you divorce or your spouse dies,
you lose a title and gain a different one at the same time. It can be
unsettling.

As your familiar titles change, know
that you can re-define yourself as you are now. What you were
does not have to be who you are. I became a writer and entrepreneur.

Will you become an adventure nomad? A
Glamma? How do you want to be known? You get to decide.

You Live in the
Past

The past is comfortable because it is a known
entity. We’ve learned lessons that we can apply to our current lives.

We know what has worked for us in the past. We’ve
had successes, and we like to repeat what has worked. This is all well and good;
however, we need to understand that to get new and different things, we
are also going to need to do new and different things.

The diet and exercise plan that served you for
years might not be the right one now. For optimal health now, you may need to
try new foods or a new form of exercise.

We also often carry around some heavy baggage
that can limit how well we move into the future.

We’ve had struggles and failures. We havedeepscars and wounds. Holding on to negative experiences can prevent us from
moving forward.

The relationships you have had with people in
the past might not be serving you. They are not set in stone. You can have
difficult conversations, redefine boundaries, or change how you react to
someone.

We may need to let go, forgive, and move past
to move on. You may need some professional help with this; if so, give yourself
the gift of help.

Reframing our past negative experiences as lessons
rather than failures can give us the energy to learn from them, and then
let them go.

You Don’t Know How
to Do Something

In our 60s and beyond, we often have
the time and opportunity to try new things. You may want to explore new countries
or develop new hobbies. You may dream of starting a new non-profit or becoming
a photographer.

The problem with new things is, we
haven’t done them before and we might not know how to do them.

Where there is a will, there is a way.

My husband and I wanted to learn how
to sail. We did not come from sailing backgrounds and had no friends who
sailed. We worried that we might be too old to learn, or that the physicality
of sailing might be too difficult for us. To top it off, we did not have a
boat.

We joined a local group that offered
lessons and use of a boat. We read books and watched videos. We talked to sailors
hanging around the marina. We haven’t mastered sailing, but we have had fun
learning and have spent some great hours out on the water.

There are classes, both in person and
on-line, that will teach you almost anything. Get some books at the library. YouTube
videos are a gold mine for learning how to do things. I built my first website
by watching a YouTube video and then following the process step-by-step.

You are never too old to learn. Remember
that you won’t master everything at first, and don’t compare your beginning to
someone else’s middle or end. 

You Don’t Celebrate
Enough

Most of us are pretty good at
celebrating the big things. You honor birthdays, anniversaries, and weddings. That’s
as it should be.

We also need to celebrate the little
things. Our lives are spent in the everyday moments, not just in the big ones.
Take a few minutes to watch the sunset. Notice the chipmunks chasing in the
yard. Buy or pick a fresh flower for your windowsill.

Gratitude for the small sparks of light in our lives help to remind us that there are extraordinary things all around us. Find the good in the everyday. It will bring you positivity, and positivity breeds more positivity.

Examine your life. What is stopping
you from taking action towards something that you would love to do or be? What
have you done to conquer your fears? I’d love to hear thoughts, so make sure to
drop a comment below!