There’s a voice in your head that doesn’t want you to rise. She second-guesses your choices. She whispers that you’re too much… or not enough. And she questions your dreams and reminds you of your mistakes.
You know her well.
I call my inner critic Judy Judy.
Yes, I gave her two names – because of course she needed a little flair for the dramatic.
She shows up when I want to try something new, speak up, wear bold lipstick, or take a leap.
And just when I feel ready, she swoops in with doubt:
- “Who do you think you are?”
- “That’s not for you.”
- “You’ll look ridiculous.”
But here’s what I didn’t realize for the longest time: That voice wasn’t born with me. It was shaped by life. And understanding where it came from? That was the first step to taking my power back.
Where the Inner Critic Comes From
Your inner critic isn’t random – it’s built over time. Maybe it started as a teacher who embarrassed you in front of the class. Or a parent who meant well but pointed out every flaw.
Maybe it was the magazines that told you what your body should look like… or the workplace where your ideas were dismissed.
Each one of those moments leaves a mark. And over time, they form a voice inside that says: Be smaller. Be safer. Don’t take risks.
That voice might sound like your own – but it’s not your truth. It’s a collection of past experiences, old programming, and fear trying to protect you from rejection or failure.
The Upside of the Inner Critic
Believe it or not, your inner critic isn’t trying to be cruel. She’s trying to keep you safe. She thinks if she keeps you quiet, perfect, or hidden, you’ll avoid getting hurt.
But staying small isn’t protection – it’s self-abandonment. Once you realize she’s just scared – not right – you can stop letting her lead.
5 Ways to Silence Your Inner Critic
If you’re ready to quiet that voice and step fully into the woman you’re becoming, here are five ways to begin:
1. Name Her (Then Call Her Out)
Give your inner critic a name – something that helps you see her as a character, not your truth. Mine is Judy Judy. She means well, but she’s overly dramatic and a bit stuck in the past.
Now when she starts in with her commentary, I say, “Okay, Judy Judy, not today,” and I move forward anyway.
It sounds playful, but it’s a powerful way to take your voice back.
2. Talk Back – With Truth
Your inner critic isn’t honest – she’s just loud. So meet her voice with actual truth.
If she says, “You always mess things up,” respond with, “Actually, I’ve handled a lot in my life. I’m still learning, and that’s enough.”
Your brain believes what it hears often. Make sure it hears your truth – not just her fear.
3. Remember: She’s Trying to Protect You
That critical voice is fear dressed up as helpfulness. She wants to keep you from being rejected, embarrassed, or hurt. But playing small to stay safe only keeps you stuck.
You can thank her for trying to protect you – and then make the brave move anyway.
4. Keep a “Proof List”
Create a running list of moments you’re proud of:
- The compliment that stuck with you.
- That challenge you took on and got through successfully.
- The time you spoke up, showed up, or kept going.
Call it your “Evidence File.” When your inner critic gets loud, open it and remind yourself: I’ve done hard things before. I can do them again.
5. Practice Self-Compassion, Not Perfection
You don’t need to get it all right. You just need to keep showing up with love – for yourself.
When your inner critic starts nitpicking your body, your choices, or your dreams, offer yourself the same kindness you’d give to someone you love.
Perfection is impossible. Self-compassion is powerful.
Final Thought
You are not too old. You are not too late. And you are absolutely not alone.
We all have an inner critic – but we also have the power to turn her volume down and turn our own self-trust all the way up.
The next time she shows up uninvited, remind her gently: You’ve got this. You’re evolving. And you’re becoming the woman you were always meant to be.
Let’s Have a Conversation:
Is your inner critic scared, dramatic or stuck? Have you given her a name? How do you deal with her?
