In any relationship, there is division of
labour – one partner will probably do most of the cooking, the other will
probably do most of the car-related stuff, and so on.

Naturally, most of the bank-related responsibilities
will probably fall to one of the parties as well.

If that’s not you, and if, for whatever reason, you find yourself on your own, you will have to learn how to manage your finances – at a time when you’re already under stress because of a bereavement or because of the break-up of your relationship.

Financial Cluelessness

I’m going to assume that you don’t do your
finances for one of three reasons:

• you’ve
  never been particularly interested,
• it’s
  just a habit you’ve got into, or
• it
  was the way things were back in the day.

My father was a bank manager, so it naturally
fell to him to deal with all the finances. While he was working it also made
practical sense – he could do all this stuff at work, no need to make a special
trip.

By the time he retired, my parents were firmly
set in their ways. But then, not so long ago, Dad needed to have an operation which
put him out of action for about a month – and I discovered that my mother had never in
her life withdrawn money from a cash machine.

It was a wake-up call for all of us.

I talked her through the process of
withdrawing cash (once she’d found her PIN number), only to gape horrified when
she stood in the middle of the street, about to count the money! She didn’t
like the idea of just taking the money without counting it first.

So, if you don’t want to find yourself in the
same clueless situation, here are my suggestions to help you become financially
savvy. Do these things now, while your partner is still around and able to
explain how they organise everything.

Learn to Access Your Bank Accounts

Do you know how to access your bank accounts?
PIN numbers, usernames, memorable information. Even if you have a joint
account, your individual codes will be different (and it’s an offence for you
to use your partner’s), so make sure you know your own.

Memorise it. And then use it!! Make it a habit
to check the bank account at least once a week, so that it’s no longer a big
deal.

Know Your Income

Do you know how much money goes into the
account each month? Do you know how much goes out? Do you know the size of the
difference between the two amounts?

Keep Track of Monthly Cost of Living

Do you know how much your mortgage/rent is?
Utility bills? Council/State Tax? Insurance? How much do you spend on Christmas
presents? Food? Find out!

Get Familiar with Bank Statements

Read a bank statement from beginning to end.
If there is anything you don’t understand, query it – either ask your partner,
or call the bank and ask them to explain what it means.

Explore Purchasing Options

Be interested. If you need to make a big
purchase, don’t just leave it to your partner to decide the best way to do it.
Discuss the options and take mental notes.

The options are broad (in order of cost, from
highest to lowest) – buy it on a credit card, take out a personal loan, fund it
from savings, or delay purchasing so that you can save up for the item. There
are pros and cons to each of these – what do you think you should do?

Don’t Stay Mute

Have an opinion. Now that you’ve seen the bank
statements, have they thrown up any surprises? Are you better off than you
realised? Or are things worse than you thought?

Are you generally happy with the way your
partner is handling things, or would you do it differently? If you’re happy
with their management, don’t use that as an excuse not to join in!

Get Involved in Making Decisions

It’s simply not wise to let your partner
handle all financial decisions. Instead, take part in everything. Should you
switch energy supplier? Would it be a good idea to shop around for car
insurance at renewal date? Do you really need all those Sky packages?

Learn to Withdraw Cash

If, like my mother, you’ve never used an ATM –
start doing it. The very next time you need cash, don’t leave it to your
partner. Go and get it yourself.

An alternative to using an ATM is to ask for
cashback at the supermarket. Say you want to get a certain amount in cash – the
amount is simply added to the total cost of your shopping, and you pay with
your debit card. The cashier will then count the bills in front of you (saving
you from having to do it on the street).

Stay Up to Date with Banking Options

Things change – banking is not the same as it
was even 10 years ago. This means it’s possible your partner may be a bit
behind the times too!

Access to your account is one example. Once upon
a time you had to go to a brick-and-mortar bank to handle your financial
affairs, but nowadays you don’t really need to leave the comfort of your home.

You can call your bank, use online banking, or
a banking app on your phone. You can pay for things in cash, by cheque (when
was the last time you used a cheque?), by credit or debit card, contactless for
certain amounts, or using the app on your phone.

Learn About Account Bonuses

Many banks also keep changing the perks
associated with their current accounts – some pay interest on small debit amounts,
others give cash back on utility bill payments, you may even get freebies like
cinema tickets.

All these perks come with a downside, though,
so don’t forget to read the small print as well. It really is a case of looking
at how you run your account and then shopping around for the account that works
best for you.

Explore Switching Bonuses

If you are prepared to jump through a few
hoops, there are incentives for switching bank accounts. These are usually in
the form of a cash bonus you receive once you’ve had the new account for a
while. This is definitely worth exploring.

Reciprocate

And finally, if you happen to be the one doing
most of the cooking – return the favour. Don’t leave your loved one not even
able to boil an egg if you’re not around. It’s nice to be in a team, and every
team has specialists – but the best teams share their knowledge with each other.

Note: If your partner is actively preventing
you from accessing cash or bank accounts, keeping you in the dark about any
financial matters, or taking money from you – even if they tell you it’s to
keep it safe – that is financial abuse and you should seek help.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

How much do you know about your current
financial situation? Who handles the finances in your house? Are you willing to
learn how to do it? Do you know how to withdraw cash? Please share your
experiences and stories with our sisters.