It’s been a year now since I’ve been fully retired. Every morning when I was working (even on my days off), I would wake up and walk through the list in my head of what I needed to get accomplished that day. I loved my career, yet I still began each day chock full of anxiety. How was I ever going to get it all done?
Although the anxiety will never disappear, I start my days now in a much calmer place. There aren’t umpteen tasks to be accomplished across multiple roles. There is time to focus on my health and exercise without having to wake up at 5 am to get it done.
There is time in the day to journal. Time to read.
But… Are My Days Full?
I found myself wondering this one morning as I was taking my mother to a doctor’s appointment. One of the things that happened around the time I began fading out of work was that my mother got sick. Although she’s doing better overall than she was, helping her out is something that is on my schedule multiple times per week and it will continue to be that way.
Ours is a complicated relationship, so although being a caretaker for her is the right thing for me to do, it is not necessarily a joyful activity in my day. There is a myriad of other things that I’d rather be doing.
And, that’s where my thoughts went on that particular morning.
The Answer Is Yes
My days are most definitely full – on the days where I include activities and people who are aligned with my values and priorities. My husband, my kids and grandchildren, close friends, creating content for the women in my community, learning something new, and being outdoors and moving my body.
If my day has included any one of those things, it has been a full day.
This is not a big change from when I was a young mom! Back then, I also considered my day to have been full when it included activities that were in line with my priorities and values.
What’s Changed Since Retirement?
I’m Learning the Difference Between “Busy” and “Full”
Throughout my life, I’ve been busy in varying degrees and have prided myself on my ability to multitask and juggle various demands simultaneously. When my children were young and at home, my days were both busy and full from the moment I got up until the moment I went to bed.
My days were full of activities that were completely in line with my priorities (my children and family and school).
Upon retirement, I’ve had more down time in my daily schedule than I’ve ever had in my life. I’m not working, and my children are grown and gone. I’ve got projects going on with my husband, am helping my mom, and I see my grandchildren often but these are not daily activities. They happen in bits and spurts.
I’m coming to terms with the fact that I don’t have to have something planned for every minute of my day to be able to consider it “full.” There are days where I am very “busy” but would not call my day “full.”
There are days where I pick up a grandchild from school and hang out seemingly not doing a ton, when, in reality, I’m there listening to and playing with them and ready to help out when needed. That is a full day for me.
There are days when I get a 2-mile walk in, exercise, and finish a great book. That is a full day for me.
On the other hand, I can be non-stop busy for an entire day doing a myriad of activities that are not in line with my priorities or values and end the day tired but not feeling that my day has been “full.”
I’ve Learned How to Say “No”
Learning to say “no” has likely been the hugest and healthiest change I’ve made in my life in the past 5 years.
Realizing that when I say “yes” to something or someone that is not in line with my values and priorities, I am saying “no” to something or someone that is.
At 62 years old, I’m done NOT spending time with people or doing activities that are not a priority for me.
Let’s Have a Conversation:
What constitutes a full day for you? Does full equal productive? What are your priorities and values at this stage of the game?
