We all know that moderation is important, but sometimes it’s hard to tell the difference between a real reason for changing your plan and an excuse that keeps you stuck. That’s where things get tricky.
Here’s an example: You skip your morning workout to get some extra sleep. Or you decide to go out for lunch instead of eating the meal you packed. On the surface, both of these decisions might feel like you’re letting yourself down – but are you? When we look deeper at *why* you made that choice, things start to shift.
If you skipped your workout because your partner was up sick all night and you truly needed rest to function, that’s a thoughtful decision, not an excuse. If you went out for lunch because a good friend – one you rarely see – had a last-minute opening in her schedule, that’s not just blowing off your plan.
This is the gray area where many women get stuck. You want to be flexible, but you also don’t want to let yourself off the hook too often. So how do you know when you’re making a smart, intentional choice versus slipping into patterns that keep you from reaching your goals?
That’s exactly what we’re going to unpack today. By the end of this post, you’ll have the tools to navigate these tricky decisions with confidence.
The 3 Mistakes That Keep You Stuck
Mistake #1: The All-or-Nothing Trap
Perfectionist thinking is one of the biggest roadblocks to long-term success. It’s that little voice in your head that says, If I can’t do it perfectly, why bother at all? This kind of thinking sets you up for failure because it doesn’t leave room for real life – where things don’t always go as planned.
For example, you plan to work out four times this week, but by Wednesday, life gets in the way and you miss two sessions. Instead of picking back up where you left off, you tell yourself the week is already ruined, so you’ll “start fresh” on Monday. Or you eat something off-plan at lunch and decide you might as well indulge for the rest of the day.
Mistake #2: Using “Self-Care” as a Justification
Self-care is important – but not when it becomes a cover for avoiding the things that actually help you feel better in the long run. True self-care means listening to your body, but it also means being honest with yourself about whether your choices are helping or hurting you.
For example, skipping a workout to rest after a sleepless night is a smart, intentional choice. But skipping workouts for a week straight, telling yourself you need the break, might be avoidance disguised as self-care. Similarly, enjoying a bowl of ice cream after a stressful day can be part of a balanced life – but if you’re regularly using food to numb emotions, it’s no longer about self-care.
Mistake #3: Saying “It Doesn’t Matter”
We’ve all said it before – It doesn’t matter. A handful of chocolate-covered almonds here, skipping a workout there, or grabbing takeout instead of cooking just this once. In isolation, these small choices seem harmless. But when repeated regularly, they shape habits that impact your long-term health.
For example, one square of chocolate absolutely won’t derail your progress. But if you mindlessly eat them every night while watching TV, that habit adds up. The same goes for skipping a workout – one rest day isn’t a problem, but if “I’ll do it tomorrow” becomes a pattern, your consistency suffers.
Progress isn’t built on any one decision – it’s built on patterns. Instead of thinking, Does this one choice matter? ask yourself, If I keep making this choice over and over, where will it lead me? The small things you do daily are what truly shape your results.
3 Ways to Tell If You’re Making a Smart Choice or an Excuse
1. Two Questions to Ask Yourself
When you’re faced with a decision – whether to skip a workout, grab an extra snack, or say yes to another glass of wine – pause and ask yourself:
What Would I Do If I Loved Myself?
This question shifts your focus from guilt and self-judgment to self-compassion. Loving yourself doesn’t mean letting yourself off the hook every time something feels hard. It means making choices that truly support your well-being. If you’re exhausted, self-love might mean resting. If you’re just unmotivated, self-love might mean pushing through and moving your body anyway.
How Do I Want to Show Up in This Relationship?
Whether it’s your relationship with yourself, your future self, or as an example for your family, this question helps you align with your values. If you want to model a healthy lifestyle for your kids or grandkids, your choices should reflect that.
These two questions help override knee-jerk justifications and guide you toward choices rooted in self-respect.
2. Consider the Long-Term Impact of Your Choice
When making a decision, ask yourself: Am I choosing based on how I feel right now, or how I want to feel tomorrow?
It’s easy to prioritize short-term comfort – skipping a workout because you’re tired, grabbing takeout instead of cooking, or scrolling on your phone instead of getting to bed on time. But these choices don’t just affect today; they create patterns that shape your future.
For example, skipping meal prep might not seem like a big deal in the moment, but when the week gets busy, you’ll likely end up making poor food choices because you don’t have anything healthy ready. One missed prep session turns into a week of frustration.
By pausing to consider how today’s choices impact your future self, you shift from reacting to your emotions to making intentional, mindful decisions that support your long-term success. Small choices, repeated consistently, create real results.
3. Notice How You Feel After the Decision
One of the best ways to tell if you’ve made a valid choice or just given yourself an excuse is to check in with how you feel afterward.
If you feel guilt, regret, or frustration, you may have made an excuse – something that felt good in the moment but doesn’t align with your goals. For example, skipping a workout just because you didn’t feel like it might bring short-term relief but leave you disappointed later.
On the other hand, if you feel peace and confidence, it’s likely a well-thought-out decision. Skipping a workout because your body truly needed rest or saying no to dessert because you didn’t really want it? Those are choices made from self-respect, not restriction.
Building self-trust comes from making decisions you can stand behind. Pay attention to your emotions after each choice – they’re the best indicator of whether you’re honoring your goals or holding yourself back.
Reasons vs. Excuses
The difference between making a thoughtful decision and falling for an excuse isn’t always obvious in the moment. But when you take a step back, the patterns become clear. Small, intentional choices – made consistently – are what lead to lasting progress.
If you want to break free from the all-or-nothing mindset, stop using self-care as a way to avoid effort, and stop telling yourself “It doesn’t matter,” start by asking better questions. What would I do if I loved myself? How do I want to show up in my life and for my loved ones? Consider how today’s choices impact your future self and pay attention to how you feel afterward.
If you’re ready to create real, lasting change, download my free guide: 8 Basic Habits That Healthy People Do. It’s your first step toward building consistency, self-trust, and a healthier, more empowered life.
What’s one area where you’ve been making excuses instead of decisions that support your goals? What steps have you taken toward making healthy decisions?
