Hello, I’m Nancy Lang Gibbs, and I just turned 65. And I’m wondering if the more I say it, and write it, the more it will begin to feel real?!
The day I saw “Nancy’s 65th birthday” on my computer calendar I honestly took a double take, and if there had been a speech bubble over my tilted head it would have said, “Whose 65th birthday?!” Seeing the visual of my name next to that number did not compute.
And I’m sure I’m not alone! This is why I’m passionate about rallying together all of us women in later life to discover how to love this time of life regardless of societal messages, and to become more aware of our internal ones as well.
Is Getting Older Easy?
Nope! And you could say that about any age!
We are all getting older. My baby grandsons are trying to sit up without falling over. Young kids beginning school are figuring out how to make new friends, college grads are faced with making a life for themselves. No matter our age, we all face challenges, fears, new stages… and new opportunities!
I will say, however, that society doesn’t make it easy. I get very frustrated with each commercial espousing how to fight aging and look younger as though getting older is a disease! Especially for women.
The Messages Are All Around Us
If we don’t use this cream and wear that make-up to hide all our “imperfections” then we won’t look beautiful. And it’s not just societal messages, it often comes from our friend and familial circles as well.
I’ll never forget one time when my grandma was visiting, and I didn’t wear any makeup that day. That night we got dressed to go out, so I put make-up on and when she saw me, she said, “Is this the same girl?” To be fair, she wasn’t intentionally trying to insult me, we’re all just so conditioned as to what ‘pretty’ is, that we pass these messages on from generation to generation.
And what begins as generational messages, can end up being believed as the truth.
Keeping Hold of Who We Are
As we enter our 50s, 60s and older, we get to a stage of life when many of us begin to feel invisible. We often don’t get the compliments we once did which can lead to feeling less attractive. Also, we can begin to feel less valued because our wisdom doesn’t seem to be as important as the influencers on social media.
We can lose sight of our beauty and importance because, perhaps, we unknowingly rely on external sources to fuel our fire, versus trusting our knowing to emanate from the fire in our belly.
This quote from Maria Shriver really resonates with me: “The truth is, we all want someone to see the jewel that is inside of us. We all long to be seen as valuable, no matter how old we are. And we work hard trying to get others to recognize our value, our worth, so often giving them the power to decide if we are, in fact, jewels to be cherished. But that power is actually our own. It’s yours. Don’t give it away.”
Yes!!
Here’s the thing: feeling appreciated, and hearing that we are valued and loved is a beautiful thing, and we’ve got to, got to, got to recognize and acknowledge it within ourselves first. We’ve got to love ourselves and know our worth without needing to hear it from anyone else; because if we don’t, we are giving our power away. And we cannot give others that power.
Prior to turning 65 last month, I had a sudden impetus to write, and what came out of me was completely unexpected. I have never been prouder of anything I’ve ever written. I have never, ever written anything like it, and it became the 95th episode that is now the most listened to episode of my podcast Loving Later Life. It is called, “Spoken Word Poetry of Birthday Thoughts & Wishes Gone Wild as I Officially Become a Senior.”
If you click on that link you can listen to it from the play bar on the website page. You can also find it on whatever podcast platform you prefer.
I hope that you listen (not because I’m looking for external praise!), but because from all reports, it encompasses parts of all of us, and I want to share it with as many people as possible. So please feel free to share and to follow the podcast if you’d like.
No one else can provide the level of pride and love that we can give to ourselves. And it’s never too late. We have the power. Anything is possible. At any age.
Let’s Have a Conversation:
Have you turned 65 yet? How does it feel to be a senior? What does it mean to you? How does it affect your life?
