As we move through the later chapters of our lives, we often find ourselves reflecting more deeply on our experiences and relationships. One important but often overlooked shift that can dramatically improve our emotional and physical health is learning to observe rather than judge – ourselves, others, and the world around us.
At first glance, observing and judging may seem similar. Both involve paying attention to what’s happening. But there’s a critical difference: Judging attaches a label of good, bad, right, or wrong. Observing simply notices – without immediately forming an opinion or conclusion. This subtle but profound difference can impact everything from our blood pressure to our mental sharpness, immune function, and overall sense of peace.
Understanding the Power of Observation
Observation is about awareness. It allows us to take in information neutrally, without rushing to react. In contrast, judgment tends to be emotionally charged, often triggering stress responses in the body.
Research shows that practicing nonjudgmental awareness – often called mindful observation – is associated with lower levels of cortisol, the body’s primary stress hormone. Individuals who engage in mindful observation practices usually have significantly lower cortisol levels and better immune markers compared to those who do not.
Real-Life Example
Imagine you’re at a family gathering, and you notice your grandson is glued to his phone during dinner. A judgmental reaction might sound like, “Kids today are so disrespectful.” This spike in irritation can subtly raise your blood pressure and put stress on your heart.
But if you simply observe, “He’s focused on his phone right now,” you allow yourself to stay calm and perhaps later approach him with curiosity rather than anger, opening space for understanding rather than resentment.
Lower stress levels are no small matter. Chronic stress is linked to a wide range of health problems common later in life, including cardiovascular disease, type 2 diabetes, memory loss, and depression.
Also read, 3 Ways to Effectively Prevent Type 2 Diabetes.
Judging: A Hidden Source of Chronic Stress
When we judge, we often create inner tension. We might dwell on how things “should be,” criticize ourselves for not living up to expectations, or feel frustration at the behavior of others. These reactions don’t just stay in our minds – they ripple throughout our bodies.
A 2019 study in PLOS ONE found that mindfulness training may reduce levels of C-reactive protein (CRP), an inflammatory marker associated with heart disease and cognitive decline, particularly in midlife-to-older adults and individuals with higher BMI.
Real-Life Example
Perhaps you misplace your keys or glasses – a common enough occurrence. If your mind jumps to, “I’m getting old and useless,” this judgment creates discouragement and raises cortisol, making it even harder to think clearly.
However, if you neutrally observe, “I don’t remember where I placed my glasses,” you stay grounded, feel less stressed, and can calmly retrace your steps.
Judging frequently can create a “fight-or-flight” physiological state, even if there’s no real danger. Over time, this can wear down the cardiovascular system, increase insulin resistance, and accelerate biological aging.
Observing Builds Resilience and Cognitive Vitality
Shifting from judging to observing isn’t just about reducing harm – it actively builds emotional health.
In 2020, researchers did a study where adults between the ages of 53 and 86 kept daily journals. They looked at how being mindful – especially being nonjudgmental – affected people’s emotions.
They found that adults who were less judgmental of themselves and others felt happier and handled daily stress better. This was especially true for the older adults in the study.
This suggests that having a nonjudgmental attitude can help older people stay calmer and manage their emotions more easily when life gets tough.
Observation helps the brain stay more plastic – meaning more adaptable and responsive – which is critical for maintaining mental sharpness as we age.
Real-Life Example
Suppose you overhear a neighbor voicing a strong political opinion you don’t agree with. A judging mind might immediately label them “ignorant” or “wrong,” triggering anger and separation.
An observing mind notices: “They have a different perspective,” and allows you to maintain your peace, conserve your energy, and even stay open to understanding – all of which support brain health and emotional well-being.
In addition, observing rather than judging supports resilience. When we observe challenges neutrally, we are less likely to be overwhelmed by them. Instead, we can see options and respond thoughtfully rather than react impulsively. This skill has been linked to better outcomes in managing pain, and emotional distress.
The Link Between Observation and Physical Health
Observing with openness, rather than judging harshly, may also contribute to longer and healthier lives. There is evidence that individuals who score higher in mindful observation practices tend to have lower biological markers of inflammation and better stress responses, which are linked to healthier blood pressure, improved sleep, and stronger immune function over time.
One reason is that observation activates the body’s parasympathetic nervous system, often called the “rest and digest” system. This activation helps slow the heart rate, improve digestion, enhance cellular repair, and calm inflammation.
How to Shift from Judging to Observing
Changing long-standing mental habits takes practice, but it’s deeply rewarding. Here are a few simple ways to begin:
- Pause before reacting. Notice what you’re feeling or thinking without labeling it.
- Name what you see neutrally. Instead of “That driver is terrible,” try, “That driver is going very fast.”
- Practice self-kindness. When you make a mistake, observe it without harsh self-criticism: “I forgot my keys,” rather than “I’m hopeless.”
- Engage in mindful moments. Spend a few minutes each day simply noticing the sounds, sights, and sensations around you without judgment.
Small shifts like these, repeated daily, can create meaningful improvements in health and well-being over time.
Conclusion: Observing Is a Gift to Yourself
The art of observing rather than judging is not about ignoring problems or pretending everything is perfect. It’s about giving yourself the gift of clarity, peace, and resilience.
As we age, these qualities become even more precious. They help us maintain strong bodies, flexible minds, and open hearts.
By choosing to observe with kindness and curiosity, we not only improve our health – we also deepen our connection with ourselves, others, and the richness of life itself.
Let’s Have a Conversation
Have you ever caught yourself judging someone else’s behavior instead of simply observing it? What did you notice about how it made you feel – both in the moment and afterward? How does your experience differ when you simply observe without labeling or criticizing? We’d love to hear your thoughts and experiences.
