When we enter the golden age beyond 60, we start to think about matters that didn’t concern us before. Like leaving a legacy and sharing our stories. Have you thought about it? If you haven’t, now is a good time to consider your life and author your stories.
Here are 5 reasons
why this would be good for you and for those who will be there to hear or read
the story you craft.
You Have So Many Stories
You have lived a
lifetime. You have so many stories! Childhood stories. Growing up stories. Tales
of adventures in the 60s. Missteps in the 70s. Oh, and what wouldn’t you do, to
rewrite your stories from the 80s? (Would you? If you could?)
Most of the 90s are clear as day. The first 2000s on the other hand, are a little blurry. And the last few years? They have simply zipped by. They, too, are filled with stories that should not be forgotten.
You have lived! Childhood.
College. Career. Marriage.
Children. Breakups.
Makeups.
You spent years
caring for your kids and your
parents. Your vast experience, the ups and downs, joys and sorrows, pain and
pleasure, and everything in between, make you who you are today. You are rich
with stories.
Sue Monk Kidd, the author of The Secret Life of Bees, said, “Stories have to be told or they die, and when they die, we can’t remember who we are or why we’re here.”
Tell your stories
to remind you and others of your rich and varied life.
Your Stories Connect You
In his research on
blue zones, which are areas in the world where folks live long, vital lives,
Dan Buettner found that relationships are essential to healthy aging. While
diet and exercise play important roles, connection and community trump both.
An experiment by Uri
Hasson, a neuroscientist from Princeton University, shows that the brains of
storyteller and listener synchronize during storytelling.
You don’t need
science to tell you this, you know that when your friend tells you a good
story, you “experience” the narrative. The shared understanding connects the
both of you and can strengthen the bond between you.
As we age, swapping
stories with friends and acquaintances can make us feel less alone. They foster
relationships and connections which help us age well.
You Give Yourself a Voice
All our lives we
have served, we have given. We have put others before us. That’s just the way
women our age lived our lives. And for the most part we have done so quietly – it is time we are heard.
One way is to pick a story from your life and tell it. You can look back and share your adventures, recount how you overcome a difficult time, let out a deep dark secret, or make your friends laugh.
Your community,
your family and friends will get to hear you. And the most important person – you – will think about what has
happened in your life in a way that makes the most sense to you, and express it.
You Become More Resilient
Resilience allows us
to be knocked down by life and come back at least as strong as before. All of
us have experienced some kind of adversity. We have gone through tough times at
some point in our lives, and we have a remarkable ability to bounce back.
Dr. Sherry Hamby, a
clinical psychologist whose current work focuses on resilience and coping with
adversity, says, “people who have found their voice, shared their story, and
reaffirmed their values often find a sense of peace and a hopefulness that they
did not have before.”
In her research,
she saw how even brief storytelling exercises can have a positive psychological
and physical impact on the storyteller.
According to Dr.
Hamby, telling your story to someone else can help you identify key events, and
remember details in a way that helps you become the author of your own life.
You Reinvent the Past, the Present, and the Future
Dr. Hamby’s words make
so much sense to me as I reflect on my own past events. My mother’s marriage
was arranged. At 18, she left her family, her home and country, to start a new
life.
Nine months later,
I was born. When I was three, my mother discovered my father had another woman.
She was devastated and hung on to me. For years I bore the burden on my scrawny
shoulders.
Today, with the
insight of 60+ years, I know that the burden was not mine to bear. I forgive my
mother and myself, put down that burden and move to the future, relatively unencumbered.
Every time I tell
my story, I feel lighter. I am open to possibilities and I do my best to look
forward. If I had kept it all in, I would be a different person today.
Telling a story is
like stirring a pot of paella – when you bring
what’s underneath up, you make the whole pot better.
Further read, Legacy Letters: An Updated Patriarchal Tradition Giving Women a Voice Today.
Let’s Have a Conversation:
What is your story? How will you tell it? Do you think it will make people laugh? How do you think you will feel? Please share with our community and let’s have a conversation!
