I made bread from scratch. That’s how I began my first full day of retirement – not with a bucket list or a big plan, but with a quiet moment in the kitchen. As I kneaded the dough and let it rise, I felt something unexpected rise in me, too: satisfaction. A sense of rhythm. Even… purpose?
It wasn’t the kind of purpose I was used to. For over 30 years, I had a title, a calendar packed with meetings, and a clear mission as a professor and public health researcher. But that career path began even earlier – when I was 11 years old and told my cousin, “I want to be a psychologist.”
And yet here I was, puttering around my kitchen, realizing something both unsettling and hopeful: purpose in retirement might not look anything like it did before.
What I’ve discovered since that day – and what I want to share with you – is that purpose in retirement doesn’t have to be big or overwhelming. In fact, the smallest moments often hold the deepest meaning.
When Purpose Feels Complicated
I have a love-hate relationship with the idea of purpose. I’ve always had a sense of purpose. Or more truthfully, I’ve always needed one. It’s comforting to know what you’re aiming for, especially when you’re juggling work, caregiving, parenting, and life transitions.
But when I neared retirement, the thought of not having a purpose – or not knowing what it would be – was quietly terrifying. So I did what I always do: I made a plan. Six months before retiring, I got certified as a life coach and began building a small business to help women 50+ design their next chapter.
That plan became my anchor. But even with it in place, I still found myself circling the same question I hear from so many women:
What if I don’t have a clear purpose anymore? What if I’m just… drifting?
The good news? I’ve discovered that purpose in retirement doesn’t have to be grand. It doesn’t have to be fixed. And it doesn’t have to be solely about other people. In fact, the most sustainable purpose in this chapter often starts small – and includes you at the center.
What the Research Says
Purpose is one of the most powerful predictors of well-being as we age. A 2019 study published in the Journal of the American Medical Association found that people with a strong sense of purpose lived longer and had lower mortality rates – regardless of their income, education, or health status. Even modest purpose can protect against depression, cognitive decline, and loneliness.
But here’s the encouraging part: purpose doesn’t have to be career-level big. Research shows that even small, meaningful actions – like learning something new or helping a friend – boost our sense of purpose and life satisfaction.
Purpose Can Be Small
In the past few weeks, I’ve noticed something shift. My sense of purpose shows up in all kinds of quiet ways:
- Bringing dinner to a friend navigating health challenges
- Strengthening my body through Pilates (a literal and metaphorical core reset!)
- Supporting a friend through a heart-to-heart conversation in the sauna after yoga
- Learning Portuguese with Duolingo in anticipation of a fall trip to Portugal
- Simply savoring the joy of watching Anne with an E with my dad and husband
These moments don’t make headlines – but they fill my days with meaning, connection, and forward motion. And I’m working toward fully believing that they’re just as valid as my previous job title ever was.
Purpose Can Include You
After decades of showing up for work, family, kids, and community, many women reach retirement unsure of what they’re allowed to want. But let me say this clearly:
This is your time.
You’ve earned the right to create a life that reflects your current values – not just old obligations. That means your purpose can absolutely include:
- Reclaiming your health
- Exploring creativity
- Saying yes to curiosity
- Saying no to what drains you
For me, part of my purpose is supporting other women through this very transition. That’s why I coach. But another part is making bread, walking in nature, and writing – just because I love it.
You don’t need a 10-year plan. You just need one small, life-giving step.
5 Gentle Ways to Reconnect with Purpose
If you’re not sure where to start, here are a few ideas that have helped me and the women I coach:
- Revisit your 8- or 9-year-old self.
- What lit her up before the world told her who to be? What did she love doing just for fun?
- Track what gives you energy.
- After each new activity or social interaction, ask: Did this fill my cup – or drain it?
- Have an “experimentation month.”
- Try one new thing each week – whether it’s a class, a meetup, or a creative project. No pressure. Just curiosity.
- Look for micro-purpose.
- Being a kind listener, delivering a meal, or mentoring a younger woman counts. We just don’t always notice it.
- Create space for your own growth.
- Whether it’s health, learning, or travel – let your purpose be about you, not just service to others.
Want Help Getting Started?
If you’re not sure where to begin, I created a free guide called Design Your Bold Next Chapter: A 5-Step Guide to help you explore what lights you up – without needing a big plan or big purpose. It’s gentle, practical, and designed just for women figuring out what’s next.
You’re Not Behind – You’re Becoming
If you’re feeling unsure of your purpose right now, it doesn’t mean something is wrong with you. It just means you’re in a transition. Purpose in retirement is different. It’s less about proving and more about being. It’s often quieter. More personal. But no less powerful.
You don’t need to figure it all out today. Just take the next small step.
Let’s Reflect Together
Have you struggled to redefine purpose in retirement? What small actions or moments have felt meaningful to you lately? I’d love to hear what this chapter is teaching you.
