Serving as a Power of Attorney is often considered a purely financial or legal role. And it is – you’re responsible for paying bills, managing property, handling investments, taking care of real estate, and coordinating benefits. But for me, it’s always been more than that. It’s about trust, dignity, and being there for someone when they have no one else to rely on.
Need of Assistance
Recently, a client I had worked with for the past three years died. She had a degenerative disease that slowly took away her strength and, eventually, her ability to speak clearly. Yet even as her physical condition declined, her mind remained sharp. She knew exactly what was happening and what she wanted: to maintain her dignity, stay in the assisted living community she had come to call home, and remain surrounded by her favorite private caregivers.
Her brother served as her Health Care Proxy, but he only wanted a limited role in her care and did not want to take on the responsibilities of Power of Attorney. She had close friends who cared deeply for her, but they too were unable to take on that legal and financial role.
Managing It All
As an Elder Law Attorney who has served many clients in this capacity, she asked me to step in. I managed her finances, paid her bills, ensured her caregivers were compensated, helped her sell her home, and planned for the possibility of transitioning to long-term care.
Her care was incredibly expensive — over $37,000 per month. She lived in an assisted living facility that required her to hire 24-hour private aides to remain there. She spent nearly $1 million on her care. To her, it was worth every dollar; her caregivers were her trusted companions, and she had no interest in leaving behind an inheritance for her brother.
As her funds began to run low, I faced a difficult decision. If I waited too long, there wouldn’t be enough money left to ensure she could continue receiving care from her trusted aides if she had to move to a nursing home. And often, moving to a nursing home with some savings allows for more choice and access to higher-quality facilities.
Tough Decision
Regardless, she would eventually need to apply for Medicaid, to help cover the cost of her care. By moving her sooner and setting aside funds in a pooled d4C trust, I could ensure she would still be able to afford her beloved aides, even while on public benefits.
I made the decision to move her to a skilled nursing facility and placed funds into a pooled d4C trust to cover the cost of her private aides for the next year or two. She died one month later.
Before she passed, her brother came to visit, her lifelong friends showed up, and her favorite companion was by her side. She died surrounded by people she loved, in a good setting.
Still, if I had known she only had one month left, I would have made a different decision. I would have helped her stay in her assisted living facility with her 24-hour aides, even if it meant spending every last penny. But I didn’t know. And that’s the challenge of this work, making the best possible decisions with the information you have at the time.
Being Stuard of Someone’s Life
Being a fiduciary involves more than managing financial accounts. It requires being a steward of someone’s life, ensuring their wishes are honored, their dignity remains intact, and their needs are met. Sometimes, that requires making difficult decisions that may not be clear until the end. My role as Power of Attorney ends when the client passes away. The ending is always hard, but I learn something valuable from each individual I serve.
Food for Thought:
Do you have a Power of Attorney document in place? Have you thought about who you trust to make decisions on your behalf, someone who understands what matters most to you?
