January has a certain vibe.
It’s the month where we’re all supposed to emerge from the holiday fog as a brand-new person with a perfect meal plan that will carry us through to the end of the year, a fresh set of workout clothes, and the kind of motivation that apparently never dips… even when your knees pop and crack like Rice Krispies when you stand up.
And then, because we’re human, life happens. The plan gets too strict. The “perfect” routine collapses. We eat past comfortable. We feel gross. We tell ourselves we’ll do better tomorrow.
If this sounds familiar, here’s the reframe I want you to consider:
Most eating struggles aren’t a discipline problem. They’re an autopilot problem.
No one really teaches us how to eat. We learn patterns. We learn habits. And after decades of repeating them, those habits start running the show, especially in the moments that feel small and “not worth thinking about.”
The Bill Gates Quote That Explains Why Your January Plan Keeps Failing
There’s a Bill Gates quote I love because it’s annoyingly true:
People overestimate what they can do in a day and underestimate what they can do in a year.
That’s exactly what happens with New Year’s resolutions, especially around food.
We expect a dramatic overnight shift:
“No more sugar.”
“No more snacking at night.”
“I’m going to be consistent forever now.”
“I’m going to stop overeating.”
But if you’ve been eating a certain way for 40, 50, 60 years… your brain isn’t going to wake up on January 1st and calmly say, “Yes, of course. New operating system installed.”
Change is possible. It’s just slower and more skill-based than most “New Year, New You” messaging wants to admit.
“Eat With Intention” Isn’t a Personality Trait. It’s a Practice.
When I say “eat with intention,” some women immediately think “mindfulness.”
And I’ll be honest: IMO, mindfulness has a terrible PR problem.
A lot of women hear “mindful eating” and picture something like:
- eating one raisin for 20 minutes.
- sitting in silence.
- being calm and enlightened at all times.
No. That’s not what I mean.
What I mean is: paying attention long enough to make a choice you actually feel
good about.
Because autopilot eating is sneaky. It doesn’t announce itself. It just happens.
You’re not “making a decision.” You’re doing what you always do.
And then afterward, you’re frustrated because you weren’t even hungry… but you ate anyway.
The Two Most Common Autopilot Windows (You Probably Have One)
In my work with midlife women, autopilot eating tends to show up in two predictable time slots:
1) The 3:00–3:30 “Witching Hour”
You’re not starving. You’re just… not okay. Maybe you’re bored. Maybe you’re tired. Maybe your brain wants a reward. It’s too early for dinner, but something feels off. So you grab “a little something” that turns into more than you planned.
2) The After-Dinner Snack Trance
Dinner is done. The kitchen is cleaned. You finally sit down. The day is quiet. You’re on the couch watching TV, and suddenly you’re eating popcorn, or ice cream, or cookies, almost like it’s part of the evening routine.
And here’s the part that matters:
This isn’t because there’s something wrong with you. It’s because your brain
learned a pattern.
Food became a way to shift your emotional state: comfort, relief, reward, distraction, decompression.
That’s not a character flaw. It’s a habit loop.
Why “I Don’t Want to Think About Food” Is Usually Misunderstood
Many women tell me, “I’m constantly thinking about food. I just want to stop.”
What they usually mean is: “I want to stop the mental gymnastics.”
The constant back-and-forth of:
- Can I eat this?
- Should I eat that?
- I already ate too much.
- I’ll be good tomorrow.
- I messed up again.
But here’s the inconvenient truth:
If you want to be a healthy eater, you will have to think about food, just differently.
You don’t have to obsess. But you do have to be intentional. I have never, not once, accidentally eaten a vegetable. I have never, not once, accidentally drank water.
Those choices don’t happen by accident. They happen because somewhere in the day, you decide, “That’s the kind of person I’m being today.”
That’s intention.
The Smallest Skill That Creates the Biggest Shift
If you struggle with overeating, especially at night, this one skill can change everything:
Interrupt autopilot with one simple question.
Here’s what I teach (and what I still use myself):
Am I Hungry?
If you’re hungry, eat. I never want my clients walking around hungry and pretending that’s “willpower.” Hunger isn’t the enemy. It’s information.
If You’re Not Hungry, Ask: Why Am I Here?
That’s it. No shame. No drama. Just curiosity.
Sometimes the answer is:
- I’m tired.
- I’m stressed.
- I’m procrastinating.
- I want comfort.
- I want a treat because the day was a lot.
- I’m avoiding going to bed.
- I’m mad.
- I’m lonely.
- I’m bored.
Then you get to decide what you want to do next, on purpose.
And if you still want to eat (because yes, sometimes you will), add this third question:
What Habit Do I Want to Feed?
Because the more you follow a habit, the stronger it gets.
If you automatically snack after dinner every night, you’re reinforcing that loop, whether you mean to or not.
But if you pause and choose, even one night a week, you’re building a new loop: I can interrupt autopilot. I can choose.
That’s a skill. And skills can be learned at any age.
Midlife Bodies Don’t “Just Handle It” Like They Used To
Another reason this matters more now than it did at 35: your body gives clearer feedback in midlife.
When you eat past comfortable at night, it often shows up as:
- poor sleep,
- waking up feeling puffy or heavy,
- low energy the next day,
- more cravings and irritability (because sleep and blood sugar are connected),
- less motivation to move your body.
So the “small” habit of nighttime overeating isn’t small. It creates a ripple effect.
And when you begin to change it, the ripple runs the other direction:
- you sleep better,
- you feel better,
- you have more energy,
- you stop beating yourself up,
- you feel more confident because you’re keeping promises to yourself.
Weight loss might be part of your goal, and that’s fine. But many women realize what they really want is this: to feel like they’re not at war with themselves anymore.
If You’re Waiting to Magically “Outgrow” This… Don’t
A lot of women look back at their younger selves and think, “I never expected I’d still be dealing with this in my 50s or 60s.”
But habits don’t evaporate with age. They either strengthen or they change, based on what you practice.
You’re not going to wake up one day and suddenly:
- never crave sugar again,
- stop wanting comfort at night,
- become effortlessly consistent with exercise,
- stop using food to decompress.
Those aren’t personality traits. They’re learned patterns.
The good news is that learned patterns can be updated, slowly, intentionally, without drama.
Join Me Live: “How to Stop Overeating Without Going on a Diet”
If you’re ready to stop treating overeating like a willpower issue and start treating it like a skill you can build, I’d love to have you in my free live workshop:
How to Stop Overeating Without Going on a Diet
January 13 at 2:00 pm Eastern
Free | 60 minutes | Live
And if you can’t make it live (or you’re not sure yet), I also have a free guide you’ll love:
“82 Reasons You Overeat That Have Nothing to Do with Food.”
Because once you understand the real reasons, you can stop fighting yourself, and start changing what actually drives the habit.
Either way, let this be the year you stop trying to “be perfect”… and start building the skills that make change stick.
Let’s Talk:
What are your night eating habits? Do they serve a healthier lifestyle or do they drag you down? Have you considered changing those habits – slowly, but consistently, with intention?
