There is a certain kind of transition that can catch you off guard, even at 60, when you have already lived through so much and learned what matters. It might be retirement, an empty nest, a move, a change in health, a relationship shifting, or simply that quiet inner feeling that something in your life is ready to become different.
Even when a transition is positive, it can still leave you feeling unsteady, emotional, or unsure of what your next step should be. In moments like these, what we often need is not more advice, but something we can return to, something simple and steady that helps us find our way back to ourselves as we move forward.
Three Words Full of Meaning
Listen. Pause. Act. is also the name of my upcoming teaching memoir, the book I am currently writing, because these three words became more than an idea to me. It was something I was already using to heal, but I did not realize it at the time.
In the thick of recovery from PTSD, I was not thinking in terms of a method or a framework. I was simply trying to get through each day, trying to stay steady in my own body, and trying to find my way back to myself. It was not until later, after the hardest parts had passed, and I finally had enough space to look back, that I could see I had been relying on the same three steps again and again.
Once I was able to name it, it became something I could return to with intention. Now it is a process I rely on any time I am in a transition, whether it is something small and ordinary or something big and life changing. It reminds me that I do not have to force clarity or rush forward. I can listen for what is true, pause long enough to create space, and then take the next right step when I am ready.
What It Means to Listen
Listening means turning your attention inward when life is shifting, because transitions and stress can blur your instincts and drown out your inner voice. It means noticing what you are feeling underneath your words and what your body is trying to communicate.
Many of us have spent decades overriding ourselves, staying strong, staying capable, and taking care of everyone else. Listening is the moment you stop and include yourself again. Sometimes what seems like anger is actually grief. Sometimes what feels like confusion is fear of making the wrong choice. Sometimes what you call laziness is simply exhaustion. Sometimes that stomach disruption is not random at all, but a message from your body asking you to pay attention. Listening does not fix everything, but it gives you honest information, and that honesty is where self-trust begins.
Pausing for Healing
The second step is Pause, and in my experience this is where healing becomes real in everyday life. When the nervous system has been through too much, even small moments can feel intense, and it becomes easy to react before you have a chance to breathe. The pause interrupts that old pattern and reminds you that you have choice.
I often tell myself a simple truth that has become a lifeline: if it is not life or death, there is no urgency. For me, meditation became one of the most powerful ways to practice the pause, because it taught me how to stay present with what I was feeling without immediately reacting, fixing, or running from it.
The pause does not have to be long. It can be three slow breaths. It can be stepping outside for a moment. It can be waiting before you answer a difficult message. It can be giving yourself permission to sleep on a decision. Pausing creates space, and in that space, you can feel your own wisdom again.
A phrase that helps me is I have time, I can sit with this. That one sentence can soften the body, lower the pressure, and keep you from stepping back into a version of yourself you have worked hard to outgrow.
Acting in Self-Respect
The third step is Act, but this kind of action is different from the way many of us have been conditioned to move through life. It is not rushed, performative, or driven by fear. It is grounded action that comes from self-respect. After you listen and pause, the next right step often becomes clearer, even if it is small.
Acting might look like setting a boundary without over explaining, asking for support instead of carrying everything alone, taking better care of your health, or choosing rest instead of forcing yourself through. Acting might look like writing something in your journal to help shift a belief, returning to the same truth again and again until it begins to feel possible.
Sometimes the most powerful action is telling the truth. Sometimes it is walking away from what drains you. Sometimes it is doing one kind thing for yourself and letting that be enough for today. Over time, these small actions become a new way of living, not because you are forcing change, but because you are building a life that fits who you are now.
Something to Return to After Change
What I love about Listen. Pause. Act. is that it respects and celebrates the wisdom you already carry. You do not need to be lectured through a transition, and you do not need to be pushed into transformation. You simply need something you can return to when life pulls you off center, because change is part of being human.
Old triggers can return. Family roles can tighten around you. Grief can reshape your days. Stress can flood the system and make you react in ways you do not recognize until afterward. This process offers a clear and compassionate path when you do not need more information. You need a way to come back to yourself in real time. Listen for what is true. Pause to create space. Act from the deepest part of your values, not your fear. What began as a quiet survival tool became the heart of my upcoming teaching memoir, Listen. Pause. Act., and it is a path I return to again and again.
If you are in a season of transition, you do not have to have all the answers right away. Change rarely comes with a clear map, and even the transitions we choose can stir up fear, grief, or doubt as we step into what is new. When you feel overwhelmed or unsure, let these three words guide you back: listen, pause, act.
You can begin again as many times as you need, and every time you do, you are finding your way forward with more steadiness, more clarity, and more peace.
Let’s Reflect:
Have you ever gone through a transition that left you feeling off balance, even when it was a good change? Is there something your body has been trying to tell you lately? Where in your life do you need to remind yourself, I have time, I can sit with this?
