This past week, I facilitated another Sacred Women’s Circle for women over sixty. This is the fifth month in a row that I’ve been doing this most rewarding work. As I always view the month of May as the month of mothers, I thought that discussing mothers, mentors and matriarchs would be appropriate. My sense was that this combination would be all-inclusive for a rich conversation, and indeed it was!
I began the session by having everyone introduce themselves and sharing that I wanted to honor and acknowledge all the wisdom in the space. I went on to say that the purpose or intention of the gathering was to honor all of our lived experiences and share our wisdom as women, mothers, mentors and matriarchs. Also discussed would be the transitions and challenges of these powerful roles.
An Invocation
I like beginning my sessions with a short invocation. This was mine: “I have created this sacred circle as a place of remembrance and renewal. Every voice matters here. Every laugh line, heartbreak, triumph, and transformation belongs. Together, we will honor the wisdom of elderhood, the power of feminine community, and the enduring sacred work of mothering one another home. May this circle be a sanctuary of truth, belonging, courage, and grace.”
I invited the participants to share in an honest storytelling style – about inheritance, influence, and the evolving power of women as we age. My thought was to not only examine the sentimental aspect of motherhood, but also to encourage a courageous conversation about the women who shaped us, who we are today, and the women we are still becoming.
What Is Mothering?
Mothering is more than raising children. It is the sacred act of tending life itself – offering compassion, protection, encouragement, truth, nourishment, and presence. Many of us have mothered families, communities, friendships, dreams, and even ourselves through times of loss and renewal. The spirit of mothering lives in every woman who has held space for another soul to grow.
The intention of my discussion questions was to inspire reflection and sharing. I began by asking the participants to look back on their childhoods and think about what women inspired and mothered them. Everyone spoke very openly and transparently. The majority of the participants claimed that their mother was the one who inspired them and loved them in a way that they wanted to emulate. They claimed that as mothers, and some as grandmothers, they learned how to love and give from their own mothers.
The Mother Wound
For others, there were no words, and I assumed that there might have been a mother wound. I shared a little about myself and my mother, who really did not have the tools to love and care in a maternally nurturing way. She had her own detached way of showing love, such as buying me my first journal and taking me on weekly library trips, inspiring the future writer in me. My father was the more nurturing of my parents, who in fact taught me how to love, to the extent that love has become my higher power.
For some, the idea of mothering is associated with grief as a result of issues such as infertility, miscarriage, estrangement, not becoming a mother, regret, ambivalence, caregiving burdens, aging parents, or being in the sandwich generation. Some of those stories remain untold.
Aging Changes & Becoming a Matriarch
We discussed what parts of ourselves have remained unchanged over the years, even as our roles, bodies and attitudes have inevitably changed. The truth is, our core personality doesn’t change but rather, it essentially evolves.
We talked a fair amount about becoming a matriarch and the question: what is old? We never really came to any conclusions but decided that it’s worthy of further discussions.
In general, matriarchy, in its deepest sense, is not about power over others, but rather, it could be thought of as wisdom in service. Matriarchy honors the elder woman as a source of guidance, intuition, resilience, and continuity. In a culture that often overlooks aging women, it’s important that we try to reclaim the sacred authority of combined experience of the big picture – realizing that our years have not diminished us – they have ripened us.
A Poetry Prompt
A request from earlier sacred circles was the desire to write more poetry, so I gave a poetry prompt which was to write a poem about what medicine important women in their lives imparted to them. They enjoyed this prompt and spent a fair bit of time writing. I then offered the opportunity to read their poems out loud.
Sacred Women’s Circles are rewarding to facilitate and participate in. During my own aging process, I’m really enjoying being a part of a community of kindred spirits. I’m also proud to say that my website has had a facelift, and I’d love for you to visit and share any comments.
Let’s Discuss:
Do you participate in a Women’s Circle? What topics do you discuss. What does mothering mean to you and how has it affected your life?
