I’ve been thinking a lot about anticipation lately. That feeling of looking forward to something just around the corner. A visit with friends, a trip, a change of season, even the first coffee of the morning. Anticipation is what pulls us into the future with curiosity and purpose. It gives life a rhythm of “what’s next.” This sounds like a good thing, but often it just isn’t.
As we get older, anticipation can take on a new shape. We’ve seen and done so much that we sometimes forget how to look forward with wonder. The holidays, a trip, or a long-awaited reunion can feel less exciting and more like something to manage.
The Power of Expectation
I came across some fascinating research recently about how expectation shapes our experience. It isn’t about whether something good or bad happens; it’s about how we anticipate it.
When we hold positive expectations, our motivation, mood, and even decision-making improves. We plan better. We engage more. We move through life with a sense of purpose. Positive anticipation bring joy, as it gives us the possibility of happiness. And I’m all about being happy.
But when we anticipate the worst, everything starts to close in. Negative expectation, even before anything has happened, lowers our mood and confidence. It becomes a self-fulfilling cycle; expecting failure often leads to it. Some psychologists say this is a way we protect ourselves from being let down. But it doesn’t work. In trying to avoid disappointment, we create it in advance.
Finding the Balance
Anticipation is neutral. It’s how we use it that makes the difference.
If we expect too much, we can set ourselves up for frustration and disappointment. If we expect too little, we deny ourselves joy and happiness. We need to find the balance. This is the ability to look forward to something without focusing on to how it must turn out.
I’ve learned that anticipating something positively, even a small event like a walk on a new trail, lunch with an old friend, browsing my favourite shops, or a hug session with my cat when I get home, can lift my entire day. Maybe you’ve felt this too, when something good is on the horizon.
When we hold our expectations lightly, anticipation becomes a source of energy instead of anxiety. It fuels our creativity, gives us something to plan for, and helps us savor life’s moments before they even happen. It’s like smelling bread or cookies in the oven; the pleasure is in the waiting.
Why Balanced Anticipation Is Especially Important as We Age
In our earlier years, anticipation came built in. We looked forward to birthdays, career milestones, vacations, or the next big step in life. But after retirement or major life transitions, these fade. Without new things to anticipate, time can become vague, or blur it all together.
Creating moments to look forward to, whether it’s a trip, a get-together, or a small project around the house, helps restore a sense of direction. It reminds us that there’s still more life waiting for us.
Recently, I applied to a local craft fair that required a jury to approve my work. At first, I hesitated, certain I’d be rejected. I sent the application mostly to prove this. But as I waited, I began to wonder, what if they actually said yes? So, I changed my thinking. And to my delight, the jury accepted me. Would I have been disappointed if my expectation had stayed negative? Maybe. And that would have been a shame.
Anticipation isn’t about pretending everything will be perfect. It’s about believing there’s something meaningful ahead. And that belief makes us feel more alive.
3 Ways to Turn Anticipation into a Gift
The real beauty of anticipation is that it’s always with us. You don’t have to wait for a grand event to feel it. You can anticipate a conversation with a friend, a sunrise, or even the satisfaction of having a good meal.
Each small anticipation is a seed of hope. And the more of them we plant, the more they grow into purpose.
1. Anticipate the Small Things
Don’t save or be selective with anticipation. Look forward to the everyday joys: a morning walk, a favorite meal, or a call with a friend. Small moments of positive expectation create daily sparks of happiness, and train your mind to look for joy in ordinary life.
2. Expect Good, Not Perfection
Anticipation works best when it’s grounded in optimism, not fantasy. Focus on the good that could happen, not the perfect outcome. When you approach the future with hopeful curiosity rather than rigid expectation, you open space for joy even if things don’t go exactly as planned.
3. Let Anticipation Be an Act of Faith
You could look at anticipation as trust in yourself, in life, and in the idea that something good lies ahead. It’s choosing to believe in possibilities rather than preparing for disappointment.
Negative expectation, on the other hand, eats up that joy. It tells us to lower our hopes, to expect less, to prepare for disappointment. Disappointment becomes inevitable. But the evidence says the opposite: expecting the worst doesn’t protect us; it ensures we suffer twice: before the outcome and again if it goes badly.
Anticipation is not about fantasy. It’s about faith in ourselves, in possibilities, and in the idea that the future can hold something good. Even if we don’t yet know what it is.
Wrapping It All Up
Practice anticipation every day. Look forward to small things. Plan for joy. Expect the best, while knowing you can handle any result.
The future will always be uncertain, but how we meet it doesn’t have to be.
Let’s Have a Conversation:
What are you looking forward today? What about this week? And by the end of the year? Do you cultivate positive or negative expectation.
