Whether you’ve been single for a while or are newly navigating the dating scene after a major life change, it’s easy to feel like you’re either not enough or too much to attract the type of man you’d like to date. But here’s a comforting truth: these feelings are not only normal, but they’re also part of the journey. Embracing who you are and letting go of self-doubt is key to finding a fulfilling connection.
Let’s be real, dating can feel like an uphill battle at any age. At this stage of life, it often comes with its own unique set of challenges. You might find yourself questioning if you’re still relevant in this young woman’s world. You may worry that your past experiences, or your current life circumstances, are too complicated or won’t align with what someone else is looking for. Maybe you think you’re not enough because you haven’t achieved certain milestones, or maybe you’re concerned you’re too much because of your rich life experiences or strong opinions.
First off, let’s squash that myth that there’s a one-size-fits-all blueprint for dating success. The truth is, there’s no magic age where everything just clicks into place. We all come with our own stories, quirks, and baggage. And guess what? That’s not just okay, it’s what makes you – and everyone else, even men – you. These are normal feelings and many, many, many of us are feeling the same way.
Feel Like You’re Not Enough?
If you’re feeling like you’re not enough, remember this: everyone has insecurities, and they’re often louder in our heads than they are in reality. Maybe you think you don’t have enough money to compete with other women, or your physical appearance has changed over the years. Your worth isn’t tied to a checklist. It’s about the sum of who you are, your experiences, your kindness, your resilience, and your capacity for love.
Think about this: every wrinkle, every grey hair, every story from your past adds to the rich tapestry of who you are. Those are not marks of inadequacy, but signs of a life lived fully. So, what if you have what some people call baggage? It’s what I call life, and we all live one. The people who are meant to be in your life will appreciate you for exactly who you are, not who you think you should be.
Or Maybe You Feel Like You’re Too Much!
On the flip side, you might worry that you’re too much – too opinionated, too independent, too set in your ways. The reality is that being yourself is never too much. Your individuality is what makes you stand out in a crowded dating field.
If someone finds your confidence overwhelming, that’s more about them than it is about you. You deserve to be with someone who values your strengths and appreciates your personality. Will there be compromises you make along the way? Of course, that’s what love is all about, give and take.
Being authentic takes courage, especially when you’re concerned about rejection. But consider this: how hard is it to constantly play a part? If you continuously adjust yourself to fit into someone else’s idea of a perfect match, it’s exhausting for one thing, and more importantly, you may end up in a relationship where you’re not truly seen or valued. Authenticity is about finding someone who embraces you for who you are – flaws, quirks, and all.
Celebrate You
So how do you navigate these feelings and find joy in dating? Start by embracing your uniqueness. Celebrate what makes you different. Whether it’s your sense of humor, your love of adventure, or your passion for a particular hobby, own it. Your genuine self is your best asset.
Think of dating as a chance to connect with others who are also navigating this stage of life. They’re likely dealing with their own insecurities and challenges. By being open and true to yourself, you create space for deeper, more meaningful connections.
Let Go of the What Ifs
It’s easy to get caught up in the anxiety of “what if,” but remember that every stage of life has its own beauty and potential. Your second chapter is a time of self-discovery and confidence. Use this time to focus on what you want, what makes you happy, and what kind of partner you’re seeking. If you’re comfortable in your own skin, you’ll naturally attract people who appreciate the real you.
Take it one step at a time. Date with the knowledge that you’re bringing your own secret sauce to the table. And above all, have fun with the process. It’s not just about finding someone to share your life with – it’s also about enjoying the journey of discovering and loving yourself along the way.
The worst thing that comes from this insecurity is nothing. You do nothing because you’re so focused on how you see yourself that you’re afraid to even put yourself out there. That’s the biggest waste of love.
How you see yourself is nothing like how others see you… so stop worrying! The world around you sees you totally differently than you see yourself. Only you know your bad habits, past failings, mistakes, or bad decisions. They base their opinion on the version of yourself that you present to the world. And changes are, they feel the same way too. It’s absolutely normal.
Although you may wonder if you’ll measure up, you’re never too much or not enough for the right person. So be daring. Go ahead, be yourself, and let your true light shine in the dating world. The right person will be drawn to you for everything that makes you uniquely you.
If you’re finding it difficult to put yourself out there, you may be missing one of the key ingredients to finding love. To learn more, check out my newly revised masterclass, How to Find Love over 50, Without Losing Yourself. It will teach you how to date successfully and attract high-quality men who will love you the way you want to be love. Schedule your personal watch party here.
Let’s Have a Conversation:
How do you overcome your dating insecurities when meeting someone new? Do you hide your authentic self when dating? What are your fears and insecurities?
