October is breast cancer awareness month and a reminder to have our mammograms. If you’re unfortunate enough to brush up with breast cancer, you hopefully have a great support system. During the course of my two breast cancer journeys, writing has always been my panacea, whether writing in my journal, writing articles or poems.
Wounded Healer
People have called me a wounded healer because in helping others, we are also healing an inner wound of our own. In shamanic cultures, the most gifted healers are called “wounded healers” because these people have been called to look deeply into the psyche. They use the pains and wounds of life in an alchemy of healing that is very empowering and has deep purpose.
Many writers have used storytelling to help them navigate illness. Some of these include Audre Lorde, Norman Cousins, Nicole Broyard, Kay Redfield Jamison, and Terry Tempest Williams, to name a few.
Arthur Frank (1995) in his book, The Wounded Storyteller, identifies three types of narratives written by wounded storytellers or those who write about difficult times – the restitution narrative, the chaos narrative, and the quest narrative.
The Restitution Narrative
This type of narrative shares the story of a difficult time, but through it runs the idea that, for example, “Yesterday I was healthy, today I am sick, tomorrow I will be healthy again.” This narrative harbors positive thinking and bright undertones and is usually written by those who are dealing with acute, rather than chronic, illness. The focus tends to be on their improved health.
The Chaos Narrative
This narrative assumes a position of illness with no hope or indication for improvement. They write as if they’re doomed. They tend to illicit anxiety in themselves and in the reader. Everything about the writer’s situation seems urgent and stressful. The perspective is a negative one, and the reader feels as if the writer experiences a freefall with no hope of returning.
The Quest Narrative
Those who write this type of narrative accept their illness or challenging situation as part of growth and transformation. They meet their problem head on and use their difficulty as a way to forge ahead.
Having It Double
I am reminded of my middle daughter Regine’s comment when I was diagnosed with breast cancer at the age of 47; she was 16 at the time. When my oncologist phoned after my first breast cancer diagnosis (I have had two mastectomies 24 years apart), I was seated in my home office. Regine happened to be walking past when she saw me hang up the phone with a distressed expression on my face.
She knew I’d been waiting for the doctor’s report from my breast biopsy and intuited that I had just received bad news. She slowly walked toward the sofa where I was seated.
Regine sat down beside me, put her arm around me, put her head on my shoulder and said, “Mom, I think there’s a book in this.” I glanced at her and smiled at her ability to see the good in this potentially devastating news. By writing my breast cancer story in my book, Healing With Words: A Writer’s Cancer Journey, I was transformed and empowered in the process.
Regardless of the type of narrative, it is natural to incorporate self-reflection into the story. When using reflection, the writer writes what’s happening in both their exterior and interior worlds. This will help them understand themselves better, which is a key to transformation.
Self-reflection encourages an examination of thoughts, feelings, attitudes, and beliefs. It might inspire setting intentions. When other people read reflective writing, they might be inspired to engage in their own writing.
Sharing Stories to Heal
Sharing the stories can also guide others in navigating their own journeys and serve as a road map for those who might feel lost during the process. Sometimes people might be too close to their lived experience to be able to figure out how to handle it.
Viktor Frankl openly shared his Holocaust story in his book Man’s Search for Meaning (1959). When Frankl was asked why he wrote the book, he said that he wanted “to convey to the reader by way of concrete example that life holds a potential meaning under any conditions, even the most miserable ones.” He added that sharing his story would be helpful even for those who were in despair.
Inner-Child Healing
In his book Reconciliation (2010), Thich Nhat Hanh wrote that inside each of us there is a young, suffering child, and that to protect ourselves from future suffering we try to forget the pain. He says that the cry we hear deep in our hearts comes from the wounded child within. Healing our inner child can help heal any negative emotions we might have.
Whether writing narrative or expressing yourself verbally, embracing and acknowledging the wounded child is the first step in the healing process. When we put light in a dark room, we see more clearly. Walking around in the dark brings with it more problems. You can talk to your inner child and say that you hear him or her and haven’t forgotten that part of yourself.
Some therapists suggest having a conversation with the inner child. It’s about closing our eyes and returning to a time when you felt pain and being asked to have a dialogue with that child in that place and time using adult sensibilities. You might be told to tell the child that everything will be okay and reinforcing that you are loved and adored. This helps with self-acceptance and so does the art of writing.
Here’s to your health.
Let’s Have a Conversation:
Do you record your life story? What ups and downs have you written about? What type of narrative do you prefer – restitution, quest or chaos?
