Do you remember asking the “Can I play too?” question as a child when there was a game in progress and you wanted to join? I wasn’t much of a sporty girl, so I was usually asking in on jump rope, Red Rover, or tag. Most of the time, the answer was yes, or maybe, wait until the next round or game.
I do have some memories of kids being told no, sometimes out of meanness. I was fortunate enough to attend a school where this behavior was not tolerated on the playground, and a teacher would intervene. I’m not saying there was no teasing or catty behavior at Lee Park Elementary in Northeastern Pennsylvania. But if caught, there would be a good talking to that might include, “Shame on you! How would you feel if someone did that to you?” Our parents and teachers were not above slinging some guilt our way.
A Recent Situation
While on vacation recently, I found myself in a “Can I play too?” scenario. A friend and I rented a lovely Florida condo with a Gulf view overlooking the pool. We’d had some hectic Sunday travel and were just coming alive late Monday morning. I’d told her I wanted to try some water aerobics in the pool while we were there. My friend does synchronized swimming and said she could do her workout while I was in my class of one.
Then we heard it: loud directions for water aerobics moves! I went onto our lanai, and saw eight women in the pool, just finishing a class. I hustled down there as fast as I could and asked if I could join. The answer was, sure! They work out to recorded instruction three times a week, with a different emphasis for each class: cardio, stretching, and a pool noodle class. That last one was new to me.
Awkward but Fun
The first class was awkward. The women were all residents and knew each other well, and I had not done any water aerobics classes in several years due to hip problems and then replacements. But they were all lovely and kind and helped me out when I got mixed up. I felt fabulous afterward and vowed to attend every session while I was there.
These ladies were so much fun, lots of witty repartee and laughter. I learned that in the winter, high season there, they had an instructor, and the class topped out at 28, the maximum allowed. I shared that I’d like to find a group like this when I’m home. My pool used to have a class, but none since COVID. The gal in charge of this one encouraged me and said she’d text me information about where to buy the recordings they use in the summer. She suggested that I start my own group. Theirs was in its 29th year!
Always Great to Make New Friends
As they were year-round residents, they had fabulous restaurant recommendations. My friend and I are foodies, so that was another bonus. By the end of our stay, I felt a bit like Olivia Newton-John in the movie Grease, sad to see the vacation end while hopeful for something new.
Once home, I received that text with the websites for the water aerobics class recordings and placed an order. Back at my club pool, exercising by myself, I struck up a conversation with a woman who was pool walking.
Was she interested in water aerobics? Yes, she was! And she knew a few others who might also want to play.
Lessons for All
So, what did I learn?
- You’re never too old to ask: Can I play too?
- It still feels awkward and a bit scary to ask.
- New friends, even for a brief time, are a blessing.
- Ask others if they want to play too.
Also read, Hopscotch and the Art of Making Friends as an Older Adult.
Let’s Have a Conversation:
Have you ever wanted to start your own women’s group/class/circle? What would you like to do together? Have you tried asking others if you could join them – of if they’d like to join you on your activity?
