One of the best parts of getting older is the opportunity to build new adult bonds with children, grandchildren and next generation friends in our lives. They keep us young at heart and introduce us to all things hip, cool and fun – stuff we wouldn’t have known about or experienced otherwise.
On the flipside, these relationships afford us the chance to flex lifechanging skills in supporting, coaching, mentoring and unconditional loving, gifts that will sustain our loved ones into their own Golden Years and beyond.
A Study’s Revelations
A January 2022 study from North Dakota State University called “Strengthening Grandparent/Grandchild Ties,” underscores the importance of this relationship.
“The role of grandparent is very meaningful in later life. Roughly 70 million Americans are grandparents and they may have this long-term role for half of their lives. Grandparenthood is often thought to be one of the most rewarding family roles. Grandparents can play a part in guiding and helping their grandchildren grow and develop, while typically having less responsibility and stress than the parent. Grandparents take great joy in watching a young child grow into adulthood and taking part in their various life accomplishments. Grandparenting has been shown to have health benefits, for instance, in fighting off symptoms of depression, encouraging physical activity, or helping to keep older adults mentally sharp,” the study introduction read.
Connections Require Time and Persistence
These relationships, however, don’t come easily. With busy schedules and distance often separating us from the people we love, it takes hard work and persistence to connect with the young people in our lives.
The first step is to focus on connection not perfection. This is an important mindset. The goal is to develop a relationship, and relationships are rarely orderly or precise or perfect in any way. The best bonds are built organically and authentically, not methodically. Building relationships with younger loved ones requires an openness to the special qualities these folks embody, the unique circumstances in which they live and the special connection you will have with them.
With that mindset shift, the playing field becomes wide open for opportunities to advance these beautiful relationships. Here are a few suggestions on how to get started and keep feeding them:
Know Their Contact Information
Know how to phone, email and text grandkids or young loved ones, and how to find and reach out to them on social media. Be the first to make contact in these venues and do it often. Send encouraging texts or emails with frequency, celebrate the successes or events they post with loving comments or direct messages. Know birthdates and special occasions, tell them you’re thinking about them and love them.
Most young people today have access to communication devices from a very young age. While it may be thoughtful to inquire about them through their parents, gatekeeper access is not a requirement when you want to build personal relationships with younger loved ones. Reach out directly in ways that are meaningful.
Schedule Regular Outings, Meals or Events with Younger Friends if You Live Nearby
Regular meetups are wonderful occasions to build conversations and share thoughts. Any opportunity to get to know your children, grandchildren or friends a little better is time and money well spent.
Plan Trips or Excursions with Your People!
You don’t have to blow the bank to have a high return on an investment in fun, leisure or travel. Being in new places is fun because everyone learns a little something and makes memories for a lifetime. Memories and legacies are priceless and stand the test of time.
Invest in Your People
Whether it’s something extraordinary, like sponsoring their education, or buying them some socks from the Dollar Store (like my grandmother did for me each year), consider your capacity for gifting to the young people in your life and do it happily. This also builds a beautiful legacy and a sense of gratitude and connection.
Write Love Letters
Writing actual notes or cards and popping them in the mailbox is a lost art, but it’s one in desperate need of reviving! The notes my grandparents sent to me over the years are sustaining relics that continue to bring me great contentment and joy. Letters are a beautiful way to show support, love and interest in the young people of your life.
Find an Activity, Game or Hobby That Resonates with Your Youthful Peeps and Make Time to Engage in Them Often
The aforementioned North Dakota State University study also included some helpful suggestions for connecting with younger loved ones. Some of those tips for fostering stronger grandfamily bonds are to: “make time to connect by prioritizing communication and making time for conversations; express affection and discuss your feelings; share stories, life happenings and family history with one another; plan special moments and events together; remember and honor special days together; and to laugh together and celebrate the fun moments in life.”
Regarding communication tips, the study suggested the following strategies, which are all excellent and underscore some of the points we discussed earlier: “Be present and willing to listen; give advice when appropriate, but also be willing to listen and provide support; set a routine – consider scheduling weekly calls or check-ins; remember, even a quick message can let someone know you care and are thinking of them; send mail for special dates, but also just for fun; talk about family history and shared stories; and find ways to connect face to face – whether in person or using technology.
The bottom line is establishing healthy relationships with adult children, grandchildren and other youthful folks in your life is a most worthy pursuit. It not only advances our legacy, it creates new memories for all and provides a framework of support and love in our special communities.
Let’s Have a Conversation:
How are you establishing meaningful relationships with children, grandchildren and other young people in your circles? What works for you? What are the benefits you’ve discovered?
