Not many
generations ago, aging was considered a privilege, and those who lived the
longest were considered to be important members of society and keepers of the wisdom
necessary for survival.

Today, the
opposite is true. Society subscribes to the “old is bad, young is good”
mentality. Examples are everywhere – from the
greeting card aisle to the 42.51 billion (USD) anti-aging industry. Whenever
the underlying message is that old is bad, ageism is at work.

Ageism is defined
as discrimination based on age, and can be directed at any age group, old or
young (as Millennials can attest). It is often called the last socially
acceptable form of discrimination. Spending a lifetime immersed in an ageist
society is not without an impact: no one is immune to ageist thinking.

Two
varieties of ageism exist: that which is imposed by others and that which we self-inflict.
Most people get heavy doses of each, and both are tremendously harmful.

Self-Inflicted Ageism

“At my age
I shouldn’t….”

“People my
age can’t….”

“It’s
downhill from here.”

“I’m
getting forgetful and it’s only going to get worse.”

Have these
thoughts ever crossed your mind? They may seem harmless, yet research shows
that how we think about aging has a profound impact on how we age.

In a 23-year-long
study, older adults who reported more positive self-perceptions of
aging lived 7.5 years longer than those with more negative self-perceptions.

Those with
positive perceptions of aging also lived better, with less illness, better
functional health, improved brain health, and increased psychological
well-being, and tended to engage in more preventative health behaviors and
physical activity – as compared to their counterparts who
had negative perceptions.

How can
our thoughts create such a dramatic increase in not only lifespan, but quality
of life? Our thoughts create our feelings, our feelings, in turn, prompt action,
and our actions produce results, for better or worse. In essence, our thoughts
about aging become self-fulfilling prophecies.

How Our Thoughts Shape Our Future

For example, let’s say two women both break an ankle and need to spend some time in rehab. Nancy believes that this is the beginning of the end. “This is aging,” she thinks, “the downhill spiral.” Nancy gives only partial effort to rehab, becomes depressed, and never fully recovers.

Patty, on the
other hand, decides to think of rehab as being sidelined only briefly. “This is
an opportunity to dust off my Rosetta Stone and focus on learning French in
between therapy sessions,” she thinks.

She decides
that her goal is a trip to France, and with that in mind, she works hard,
rehabs fully, and then seeks out a personal trainer to boost her total body
strength and endurance. That summer, she poses proudly for a picture in front
of the Eiffel tower.

Nancy and
Patty found themselves in identical situations, but they chose their thoughts
differently. It’s true that with time, life can throw its share of curveballs,
but when we associate our circumstance exclusively with age, we place it
outside of our control.

We buy into
societal beliefs that old is bad. We relinquish control of our thoughts and
default to thinking that doesn’t serve us.

About 70 % how
we age physically is the result of lifestyle choices we make each day. Setting
age aside offers an opportunity to examine our choices. It may be that your
circumstance has little to do with chronological age and everything to do with
that which is within your control.

Thinking with Intention

What are your
thoughts about aging? Is it synonymous with decline and dependence? Does it
mean that the best years have already passed? Maybe you have already reached an
age that your parents didn’t. Who are you if you’re not young anymore?

Or do you
think of aging as a new opportunity to grow and become who you were always
meant to be?

The great news
is that we get to choose our thoughts. If we can see our circumstances (in this
case, aging) as neutral, then we place ourselves in a position to choose our
thoughts. We can succumb to the old is bad/young is good thinking so common in
society, or we can choose to think differently.

We can buy
into the stereotype that aging is all about decline or we can choose to believe
the decades of research that prove aging is primarily about choice. We can resign
ourselves to thinking that the good years are already behind us, or we can
choose to believe that the best years are still ahead.

Spend a
few minutes today downloading your thoughts about aging. Write them down.
Notice which thoughts serve you, and which do not.

Examine
your self-talk and consider whether you would speak to a friend in the same
manner. Since many thoughts go unnoticed, make a bigger effort to eavesdrop on
your thoughts each day.

If we can
think any thought we want, on purpose, why not think thoughts that serve us,
rather than thoughts that do not?

Be on alert
for those thoughts that do not serve you. When they reoccur, as they very
likely will, delete them immediately and replace them with thoughts that do
serve you.

Also consider
your thoughts about your chronological age. When you ask a child their age,
they’ll often be extremely accurate, “I’m 6 and a half.”

I once asked
my friend Ben his age, and he said, “In 18 months I’ll be 100.” What about
those of us in between? When did we start making our age mean something bad? And
more importantly, when will we stop?

What Is Age, Really?

If your
chronological age makes you cringe, here’s an important truth: chronological
age is not actually cringe-producing. Your age is a fact – simple math based on today’s date and the day you were born. What
makes us cringe is what we think about our chronological age. We get to
choose those thoughts, too.

To take an
even bigger leap, what if you loved your age, at every age? It starts with
rejecting the myths and knowing the research-based truths about aging. It means
discovering the ageist beliefs playing on repeat in your mind and choosing new
thoughts that serve you better.

Let’s start
thinking on purpose those thoughts that serve us – especially about our age.
The degree to which we choose to be indifferent about age, and even better,
love our age at every age, will help us not only live longer and better, but
begin to evolve back into a society in which aging is an honor.

How often do
you feel discriminated against because of your age? What do you do in such
situations? Have you noticed your own thought on the subject of aging? Do you
think yourself old? Can you intentionally change your thoughts about aging?
Please share in the comments below.