I have been an advocate for positive aging for years now. I fight against society’s “rules” that an aging woman is no longer beautiful, sexy, relevant. But I recently walked into a large beauty store and looked around me. Everything, and I mean everything, had these negative connotations against women of a certain age:
- “Erase”
- “Correct”
- “Lift”
- “Conceal”
The message that society still sends about a mature woman is that her face is something that needs to be “fixed.” That her journey is something that needs to be “erased.” And I started to realize that that is a big part of the problem. Women 50 and older are taught by the messages they receive that “youth” is the only way to beauty.
What if that is nonsense? What if the message is wrong?
The Words We Use with Ourselves
For most of us, our entire lives have been filled with words like “anti-aging.” As if, somehow, aging is a dirty word. Whether consciously or not, we’ve absorbed this kind of self-talk. And that is why we are constantly trying to “fight time.”
I have looked into the mirror myself at times and thought, “What happened to your FACE?”
But this kind of talk is not good for us. It’s great for the beauty companies. It makes them billions of dollars a year, those words.
Isn’t it time we gave ourselves permission to use different words? Haven’t we earned that?
Rewriting the Script
My face – and yours – tells of a journey. It tells of heartbreak and joy, accomplishment and failure. It’s a testament to our babies, our loved ones, ourselves. It’s a roadmap to our decades of learning, growth, and living. And it’s evidence of a life lived, of wisdom and grace gained, and of struggles we have overcome. We have experienced life.
This all doesn’t need to be “erased.” It deserves to be honored. By you, and by society.
So, start replacing those negative words with positive ones.
Here are some empowering words to use instead of the negative ones you’ve been taught.
- Radiant
- Vibrant
- Soulful
- Authentic
- Luminous
- Elegant
- Wise
- Confident
- Resilient
And my favorite, captivating. Why captivating? Because this word goes beyond “attractive.” It’s about your face being engaging and unforgettable. And no amount of wrinkles or sagging skin can take that away from you. For more help with this, you can also check out my post, Aged Beauty: How to Feel Beautiful Again.
What This Looks Like
So, for me, this doesn’t mean I don’t like makeup and skin care anymore. Far from it. I’ve always been a girl who loves using those tools to enhance my confidence and express myself.
But it isn’t about “anti-aging” anymore. Not for me, and I hope not for you. It’s about choosing products and beauty routines that make you feel good; that enhance, not hide. Because why should we hide our character, our history?
I write a lot about the beauty products I love. But they are products that light up your face, enhance your already gorgeous eyes, and make your skin feel luxurious. One of my favorite tricks is to use the right under-eye “concealer” – the beauty industry’s word, not mine! – to brighten your eyes and bring out the radiance in your face. (Not cake up your face with cover up.) You can find my favorites in my post, Best Concealers for Mature Skin.
I’ve stopped chasing youth and want to be present in my own skin. Loving it for who I am and finding beauty in that. Yes, it takes practice. We’ve been brainwashed to believe the lies about aging for most of our lives. But if I can learn to see myself in a new way, so can you.
Final Thoughts
“Anti-Aging” sends the message that to age is unacceptable. Makes us less. Makes us feel damaged. It’s a word I don’t use anymore. Let’s pro-age instead. Let’s treat our beauty journey with reverence instead of contempt. Be pro-you.
Aging is a privilege denied to many. Let’s honor the journey and refuse to let the words that society taught us define us.
And if you still feel the pressure to look “young”, maybe ask yourself this:
What if my most beautiful self is ahead of me?
Let’s Reflect Together:
Which anti-aging labels and words affect you the most? How do you counter them? Have you fallen into the beauty industry’s trap that insinuates aging somehow makes you “less”?
