Close your eyes. I know it may seem a little silly when you’re just starting to read an article, but for a moment, imagine it’s a Tuesday, and you’re 85 years old.
Society often puts older women into stereotypical boxes: frail, dependent, out of touch, irrelevant, and declining.
But what if you were fiercely independent, engaged, still curious, evolving, and living life on your own terms? How would that be different? How would that make you feel?
To ensure your life isn’t one of recliners, pill organizers, and adult children making decisions for you, it’s important to start now. Your future does not arrive by accident. It arrives with habits. The woman you will be at 85 is quietly shaped by what you practice today.
Now I’m not pretending that you’ll be your “same self.” There will be aches and pains, serious setbacks, loss of loved ones, and some roadblocks in doing the things you used to love to do.
Yet women who thrive later in life aren’t the ones who avoid hardship. They’re the ones who learn to adapt and find lessons in adversity. They practice flexibility and don’t cling to others’ opinions or act the way they think they “should.” They learn to reflect, accept, and reframe, with dignity and even with humor. And they never stop being curious.
Begin practicing that now, and your Tuesdays may look very different.
Here are five actions you can start today to help aging be more expansive than debilitating. More lively than lonely. And more meaningful in years to come.
1. Expand Your Mind Now
Stay curious. Curiosity keeps people vibrant, interesting, and moving forward.
Learn something new every day. When you stop learning, you shrink – and so does your brain.
Teach yourself technology rather than avoiding it. Used wisely, it can be a powerful tool for connection and growth, especially for seniors.
Step out of your comfort zone – take a leap: join a class, learn a new language, or try something you’ve always wanted to do but were afraid to try. The important thing is to keep “becoming.”
2. Invest in Two to Three Deep and Meaningful Relationships
Loneliness at 85 rarely happens at 85. It accumulates over time when you quietly withdraw and isolate.
Maintain or build a few steady connections. Real friends and confidants. People you feel safe with who lift you up. Friends who will be there through the good and the bad times and with whom you truly enjoy spending time. Start those friendships now – or work to nourish them – and the rewards will extend far beyond companionship.
We now know that loneliness takes a real toll on both our mental and physical health, while strong social connections are consistently linked to longer, healthier lives.
3. Protect and Increase Your Physical Strength
Move according to your ability – not to look younger but to preserve independence.
Include balance exercises in your daily routine. Falls aren’t random. They’re predictable and often preventable.
Lifting light weights increases bone density, improves balance, and makes everyday tasks such as climbing stairs or carrying groceries easier. It also helps prevent age-related muscle loss.
4. Start Financial Planning Early
Organizing finances in advance reduces stress and provides a clear picture of what you can afford after retirement, helping you maintain quality of life without fear.
Starting early, even in your 50s, allows investments to compound, which strengthens your nest egg.
Early financial planning allows you to budget for or purchase long-term care insurance, which can prevent debilitating out-of-pocket expenses later in life.
Paying off mortgages and reducing debt before retirement ensures you can live comfortably on a fixed income.
5. Develop an Inner Life
Faith, reflection, journaling, therapy, meditation, gratitude, and humor have all been shown to increase happiness in later years. They provide a framework for navigating the physical, emotional, and social changes that come with aging.
None of this is about chasing youth. It’s about continuing to become the woman you want to be – at every age.
So, it’s Tuesday …
Here’s my perfect 85-year-old self on a Tuesday.
I wake up when I want to – because I can.
I stumble out of bed – yes, my arthritic knees make me wobbly.
I eat a healthy breakfast because I’ve learned to love delicious, healthy food.
I take a leisurely walk along the river, come home, jump on the computer – well, maybe not jump – write, read, or do something that expands my mind.
An afternoon nap is possible …without guilt. Then I meet friends for early cocktails or dinner and laugh all night with my favorite people. Maybe a good TV lineup or a movie. Then a luxurious sleep, dreaming of my next vacation.
Let’s Have a Conversation:
It’s Tuesday. You’re 85. Think again about what that means for you. Write it down. Look at it often. What do you want your day to look like? How do you want to feel? Who do you want to become? The future version of you is quietly forming. What choice will you make today?
