A few weeks ago, I was having lunch with a dear friend who remarked that she couldn’t believe her 16-year-old granddaughter had gotten her driver’s license. That comment led to a whole conversation about who we were at 16, back when we were dancing to “Boogie Wonderland” by the Emotions and singing along with the movie Grease at the drive-in theater.
The First Taste of Freedom
Oh, the freedom that came with turning 16 and getting my driver’s license.
It was a small plastic card, but it felt like a passport. Suddenly, the world widened. My ‘63 Chevy Nova wasn’t about transportation. It was about possibility. It was the moment life cracked open and said, Go.
When Life Narrowed
Just a few short years later came adulthood and with it a narrowing of the openness I felt when I first slipped behind the wheel.
Career ambitions, financial realities, single parenting, a mortgage… responsibility stacked on responsibility. Choices became less about desire and more about obligation. Fun became something scheduled, while risk was something to be managed. I didn’t lose myself, but I did move parts of myself to the backseat.
Another Threshold in my 60s
And now, here I am in my early 60s standing at another threshold.
The kids are out in the wide world, the mortgage is almost paid off, and work is loosening its grip. The structure that once dictated my days has shifted. I’m no longer required to prove, provide, or perform in the same way, and the feeling of freedom is creeping back into my consciousness.
It feels a little bit like being 16 again.
Although I have no desire to relive my youth or wipe out all the skills, experience and wisdom that has been hard fought and proudly won, I can feel my heart happily skip a beat when I envision a future not crowded with must-dos.
Why 16 Matters
At 16, we did things for the fun of it. We lingered, experimented, and took risks without fear. We spent hours hanging out with friends simply because it felt good to be together. We followed creative urges without feeling pressure to monetize them. We tried on identities without worrying if they were permanent or practical.
In the magic of later life, we have the opportunity to do that again, only this time with wisdom and experience. Revisiting my 16-year-old self isn’t about nostalgia or regret. It’s about reconnection. What did I love then that still sparks something now? What risks did I take that expanded me? What did I do purely for pleasure, not outcome? These questions aren’t backward-looking. They point forward and can be a valuable guide to living with energy and joie de vivre.
Looking Back in Order to Move Forward
There’s a quiet but radical idea here: aging doesn’t always require reinvention. Sometimes it calls for reconnection and extracting the very best from every age. It’s about revisiting moments when the world felt wide open and possibility rushed in.
Here’s a simple way to reconnect to that wide-open feeling:
Name Your “Wide-Open” Moment
Maybe it was getting your driver’s license. Or graduating from high school or college. Headlining the school play. Winning a championship game. Moving out for the first time. There was a moment, big or small, when something cracked open and possibility rushed in. What was yours?
Remember the Mood, Not the Details
Forget the clothes, the hair, the pimples, the awkward school dances. What did that season feel like? Curious? Bold? Hopeful? Restless? Unburdened? That emotional tone matters more than the memory itself. Need a little help remembering? Pull out an old yearbook, reconnect with a former classmate, or use a search engine to research popular songs, movies, and clothing styles from the era.
Notice What You Did “Just Because”
What did you do for fun back then, when you didn’t need a plan, a reward, or a boost to your résumé? Who did you spend time with simply because it felt good? What did you try without worrying whether you’d be great at it?
Recall How You Related to Risk
You didn’t call it risk. You called it trying, saying yes because… why not? Where were you braver, not reckless, but willing to stumble a bit? How did it feel to move before you had it all figured out?
Look for a Modern Version of That Freedom
The freedom that comes after 60 doesn’t look like a set of car keys. It might be time to rest or explore, enjoy financial breathing room, or relax knowing that there are fewer people depending on you. What doors are open now that weren’t before?
Experiment, Lightly
You don’t need a grand adventure. Try one small thing that echoes that earlier openness: take a class, say yes to an invitation, revisit an old interest, follow a whim for an afternoon. Motion matters.
Carry the Feeling Forward
The goal isn’t to become who you were – it’s to bring forward what felt true about you: confidence, creativity, playfulness, courage. Those qualities didn’t age out. They’ve just been waiting.
In our 60s, we don’t have to gamble everything to feel alive. We get to age with curiosity, experiment wisely, and follow threads of interest for the sole purpose of seeing where they lead.
The road is open again.
And this time, we know exactly how to drive.
Want Weekly One-Minute Sparks Like This?
If this reflection stirred something in you, you’ll love Spark 60, my weekly Wednesday email offering one minute of inspiration for women navigating midlife and beyond. Think curiosity, style, courage, and the small shifts that make life feel wide open again.
Join the Conversation:
What gave you freedom at 16? Have you reached the point where you feel that same freedom creeping in your life again? What does freedom look like for you in your 60s and beyond?
