If you step into your ideal self at age 95 and look back, what do you want to see? Is it a life of happiness? Of meaning? Certainly, you want to feel satisfied with the years you have lived and are living. I faced having to figure out how to be satisfied with my life when I turned 70; I had left full-time work and felt lost. There are many reasons for feeling unsettled, usually related to some kind of shift in our life role. I have clients much younger than 70 who feel dissatisfaction and thus find themselves searching.
Traditionally, happiness and meaning are the main ingredients to living what is called a “good life.” I want to sense that I’ve made a difference; that falls under “meaning.” Then, I’m pretty happy too! So, both happiness and meaning matter to me. What about you?
Recently, I ran across a new book and learned about yet another life dimension to consider when defining a good life for oneself. This book, Life in Three Dimensions, addresses the history of society’s exploration of what makes for a good life. The author has researched yet another dimension of a good life, psychological richness. The book caused me to take a closer look at what I assumed about what those of us over 60 are looking for in our phase of life.
Let’s explore what I learned. Then, I am curious if and how this expanded view of a good life fits your experiences and idea of living what you would consider a good life.
Good Life in a Nutshell
Most of us seek to be happy. In fact, happiness as the objective of a good life led to the field of positive psychology. We want to have a sense of well-being, that we are virtuous, engaged in life, and feel satisfaction. Eventually, positive psychology spilled over into our expectations of life as we age. We know that nurturing a positive view of aging can add years to life.
A branch spun off from the positive aging movement asserting that living a life with meaning leads to a good life. The focus on meaning is discussed in terms of autonomy, purpose, accepting oneself, and having positive engagement with life. For us over 60, this is more than achieving goals, it is finally blossoming into living the life that calls us from the heart.
What I had never considered is that happiness and meaning usually correlate, but not necessarily. It is possible to be happy and yet lack in meaning, and vice versa. Is that what happens when “life is easy,” yet we have no real structure to our days? I see meaning as personally defined; meaning rests upon whether you feel there is a point to your life. I am curious how you see happiness and meaning contributing to your life.
Now, let’s explore the new perspective offered by author Shigehiro Oishi, Ph.D.
A Third Way
“Psychological richness” is a third dimension to living a good life. For us, the importance of this dimension relates to living a life with no regrets. So, as your 95-year-old self looks back, she is pleased with what she has allowed herself to experience. It has often been said that we regret what we haven’t done much more than what we have. That is the point of psychological richness.
A psychologically rich life is one “rich in experiences.” The key question for us regards whether we are open to new experiences. Then, determine if the experience is new to you, shifts your perspective, or allows you to learn something. Can you feel the butterflies?
The idea of richness covers a vast array of possible experiences. For some adventurers, a psychologically rich experience in life may be moving to a foreign country. For others, it could be learning something new. Even reading books and theater can be such experiences. The point is that the experience leads to some kind of shift or growth in who we are or how we see the world.
What I notice about this dimension is that it can adapt to our life situation. At 65, perhaps visiting a culture very different from your own is attractive. Then, at 85, perhaps exploring new types of theater is compelling.
Have you watched a film or read a book that has caused you to shift your perspective or expand your thinking? Then, you have experienced psychological richness.
Full Circle
Let’s circle back to the question of feeling satisfied with life. When I went through my age 70 confusion, I was looking for more than just being happy. Of course, that was a part of it. I was looking for meaning. The first place I looked was to do more of what I had done for years – teach. Doesn’t that have meaning? Yes. That didn’t ease the dissatisfaction at all.
Psychological richness explains what I was looking for and eventually found. What was wanting to emerge in my life required I explore new ideas and learn a new way to participate in the world. I had to learn to say “Yes” to opportunities and not assume that I was already a finished being with nothing new ahead. It felt both exciting and unsettling to not know exactly where I was headed for a while.
Thus, reading Life in Three Dimensions was psychologically rich for me. I now have a fresh perspective on one possible path out of dissatisfaction toward a “good life.”
Let’s Have a Conversation:
I’d love to learn about your journey into a “good” life. Are you like me and had to find your way through feeling lost? Are you still on your journey? What feels most important to your life satisfaction? Does psychological richness play a role? How?
