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Why You Should Commit to the Carry-On and Tips for Making it Easy

Why You Should Commit to the Carry-On and Tips for Making it Easy

The world is divided into two different kinds of people: overpackers and underpackers. If you fall into the first category, don’t turn away yet! Give me a few minutes to try and convince you that there is a better way to travel.

As you might already suspect, I am an underpacker. My measure of a packing fail: Coming home with even one thing in my suitcase that I did not need, use or wear during my trip. I do fail sometimes, but not often anymore.

Here’s how to pack lighter – all lessons I learned the hard way.

Start with an Attitude Change

It helps that I don’t really care how I look. I don’t mean I would travel in ripped or dirty clothes. But I don’t need to be the glammed up center of attention. In fact, when you’re traveling, the more you can blend in, the better. You’re less likely to be targeted by pickpockets and local scammers.

Spend a little time researching what the locals wear and try to pack like that. This is the lesson I learned when I wore my electric blue winter coat to Romania, a former Soviet block country where there were two colors of winter coat: grey and black.

So if you simply must be a fashion plate, try to pare down the clothes to a capsule wardrobe of items you can mix and match and pieces that will do double duty.

Use a Packing List

These printable packing lists will give you a feel for the things you’ll need. If the list includes something you don’t think you’ll need, don’t pack it. If there is something missing, make a note on the printed sheet so you don’t forget it.

Check the Weather Forecast

I make this recommendation because I live in Chicago. We like to say, “If you don’t like the weather, wait 10 minutes.” Here, the calendar might say May, but the thermometer might say March. Or July.

So check the forecast for your destination. It will tell you whether to pack a raincoat, sunhat, shorts, or sweaters.

Start Packing Early

If you have a spare bed, room, couch or some other spot to hold the things you want to pack, start a week early and put everything on the bed that you think you might want on your trip.

Then walk away.

Come back the next day and look it over. Is there anything missing? Is there anything you think you might not need on the trip? Make adjustments accordingly.

Then walk away.

Come back the next day with the intention of making choices. If you have two pairs of pants on the bed, take away one pair. If you have four shirts, take away two. And so on, until you have cut in half the things on the bed.

Then walk away.

The next day, it’s time to pack. Start with the pieces of clothing you absolutely MUST have with you.

If you run out of suitcase before you run out of clothes to pack, you get to make a choice: Leave something else behind or pay $40 or more to check a bag.

Buy Packing Cubes

I resisted buying this travel essential for years. Now I can’t believe I ever traveled without them.

Packing cubes are flexible pouches with a brilliant zipper system. You pack them with the clothes you want to take, and zip them shut. Then – this is the brilliant part – you zip a second zipper to compress the insides flat. (Think of it like your expandable suitcase, when you open that second zipper, it gives you an extra inch or two of suitcase space. When you zip it shut, everything inside is compressed.)

As a bonus, the clothes you lay inside the packing cube are much more likely to stay wrinkle free. I don’t know why. But it’s true.

Stick with One Basic Color

When I head to a Caribbean resort, that color will be white. But most of the time, it’s black – black pants, a black skirt, a black dress. Then I add color in the tops I will wear with the pants and skirt. Finally, I pack a few scarves and funky costume jewelry to dress everything up or down and add more color.

Wear the Heavy Stuff on the Plane

There are plenty of TikTokers and travel hacker influencers who will tell you to wear layers and layers on the plane to save suitcase space. Or to pack a pillowcase with your stuff and pretend it’s a pillow, not a suitcase, so it doesn’t count as a carryon.

While that might be useful info for travelers on uber-budget airlines that charge for anything that doesn’t fit under your seat, you really don’t have to go that crazy. Just use a little common sense.

If, for example, you’re flying from Florida to Colorado, you know you’ll need your winter coat, hat, gloves, hiking boots and heavy jeans. Wear the jeans and hiking boots on the plane, stuff the hat and gloves in the coat pockets and carry the coat on the plane rather than packing it in a suitcase.

I do this anyway because I’m always chilly on a plane. I’m always surprised when I see someone boarding a flight in shorts and flip flops. I would be blue by the time I landed!

Think Layers, Not Bulk

Thin layers are always the right answer, no matter where you are. Even a Caribbean vacation requires preparing for chilly evenings or overly air-conditioned restaurants. Layers are the answer to staying warm and packing light.

Make the Best Use of Your Under-Seat Bag

Finally, remember that you get not one, but two things to carry onto the plane – a bag that goes into the overhead and a smaller bag that fits under the seat in front of you.

Don’t waste the space in that second bag!

My go-to is a roomy backpack because I travel with a lot of electronics – laptop, Kindle, phone, ear buds and all of the cords and accessories they require. But those only take up two zippered compartments. That leaves two more compartments for other things – makeup bag, an extra pair of shoes, etc.

The other thing that works for me is a big striped bag that is super flexible. I can cram a lot into it and still stuff it under the seat. The downside of that is it is heavy to carry, unlike my backpack which easily distributes the weight across my shoulders.

Practice, Practice, Practice

I know. This isn’t easy. Especially if you’ve always been an overpacker. But practice will make perfect. Try it on your next quick weekend trip. That will give you a chance to see how it feels to only pack what you’ll need for 2-3 days, how much you like being able to lift that light carry-on bag and how happy you are not worrying about whether your suitcase will show up at the other end of your flight.

Just remember to pack one more thing: a credit card. That way, if you find you truly can’t live without something for a few days, you can head to the store to buy it.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

Are you an overpacker or an underpacker? What’s your favorite packing hack? Share with us in the comment section below.

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International Widows Day: What Widows Need Us to Understand

After my husband Tom died in 2007, I remember how quickly the world seemed to move on. There were flowers, cards, casseroles, hugs, and kind words from people who truly cared. I was grateful for every gesture. In those early days, love often arrived in practical forms – a meal, a note, a hand on my shoulder, someone sitting quietly beside me when there were no words.

After my husband Tom died in 2007, I remember how quickly the world seemed to move on.

There were flowers, cards, casseroles, hugs, and kind words from people who truly cared. I was grateful for every gesture. In those early days, love often arrived in practical forms – a meal, a note, a hand on my shoulder, someone sitting quietly beside me when there were no words.

But eventually, the phone rang less often. The cards stopped coming. The casseroles disappeared. People returned to their ordinary lives, as they naturally needed to do.

Yet my ordinary life was gone.

When the Funeral Is Over

The paperwork kept arriving. Financial decisions needed attention. Documents had to be gathered. Accounts had to be changed. Financial decisions needed attention. Tax questions surfaced. Invitations felt different. My identity felt unsettled. I was still Kathleen, of course – but I was also now a widow, trying to understand what life would look like from here.

That is something many widows understand. The funeral may be over, but widowhood is just beginning.

Each year on June 23, International Widows Day gives us a reason to pause and see widows more clearly. Not with pity. Not with awkward silence. But with compassion, respect, and a deeper understanding of what this life transition really involves.

The United Nations has estimated there are approximately 258 million widows worldwide, many facing poverty, discrimination, and exclusion.

Widowhood Is More Than Grief

Widowhood is not simply an emotional loss, although grief is certainly at the center of it. Widowhood can also bring financial uncertainty, social isolation, legal decisions, housing questions, health concerns, changed friendships, and a quiet but profound shift in identity.

For some widows, the challenges are immediate and severe. Around the world, widows may face poverty, discrimination, loss of property rights, social exclusion, and harmful traditions. Here in the United States, the struggles may look different, but they are still very real. Many women find themselves managing money alone for the first time, making major decisions while grieving, or discovering that their social world has changed in ways they did not expect.

Even widows who appear “strong” may be carrying far more than others realize.

“I Didn’t Know It Would Be Like This”

I have spent many years listening to widows and the professionals who serve them. Again and again, I have heard women describe the same painful surprise: “I didn’t know it would be like this.”

They expected grief. They did not always expect the administrative avalanche.

They expected sadness. They did not always expect loneliness in a room full of people.

They expected to miss their spouse. They did not always expect to miss the version of themselves they had been in that marriage.

They expected hard days. They did not always expect that major financial decisions might be required before they felt emotionally ready to make them.

This is why International Widows Day matters. It reminds us that widowhood is not a small or private issue affecting only a few women. It is a major life transition experienced by millions. And because women often live longer than men, many women will spend part of their later lives widowed.

Resilience Grows Best with Support

Widowhood is not only a story of loss. It is also a story of courage, resilience, reinvention, and community.

I have seen widows rebuild lives of meaning and purpose. I have seen them become mentors, volunteers, advocates, writers, travelers, business owners, generous friends, loving grandmothers, wise leaders, and sources of strength for others. I have seen women who once felt overwhelmed slowly regain confidence. I have seen them learn to handle financial matters, make thoughtful decisions, ask better questions, and discover new parts of themselves.

But I have also learned this: resilience grows best when surrounded by support.

Widows do not need people to swoop in and take over. They need people to walk beside them. They need friends who keep inviting them, even if they often say no at first. They need family members who listen without rushing them. They need financial, legal, healthcare, and faith leaders who understand that grief affects decision-making. They need practical help without condescension. They need room to be both strong and vulnerable.

The Power of Widow-to-Widow Connection

Sometimes, most of all, widows need to be with other widows.

There is a special kind of relief that comes from sitting with someone who understands without needing a long explanation. Another widow may know why a simple form can bring tears, why a wedding invitation can feel complicated, why eating alone can be so hard, or why confidence may come back in small, uneven steps.

That is why organizations devoted to widow support are so important.

Modern Widows Club has helped change the conversation by focusing on widow care, empowerment, community, and rebuilding. Its work reminds widows that they are not alone and that life after loss can include healing, growth, leadership, friendship, and renewed purpose.

Soaring Spirits International is another powerful example. Through programs such as Widowed Village and Camp Widow, it connects widowed people with others who understand the landscape of grief and the long process of rebuilding. These communities do not erase the loss. Nothing can do that. But they can make the path less lonely.

For widows, connection is not a luxury. It is part of healing.

What Support Can Look Like

On International Widows Day, those of us who care about widows can ask ourselves some practical questions.

  • Do we keep showing up after the first few weeks?
  • Do we invite widowed friends to dinner, concerts, holidays, and ordinary outings?
  • Do we say their spouse’s name, rather than pretending the person never existed?
  • Do we offer help with specific tasks, such as sorting papers, making phone calls, or getting to appointments?
  • Do we respect that grief has no neat timetable?
  • Do we encourage widows to delay major irreversible decisions when possible, while still helping them handle what truly must be done?
  • Do we support organizations that provide widow-to-widow connection?
  • Do our professional communities – financial planning, law, healthcare, counseling, senior living, faith communities – understand widowhood well enough to respond with patience and care?

Sometimes the most meaningful support is simple. A text that says, “I’m thinking of you today.” An invitation with no pressure attached. A willingness to listen to the same story again. An offer to sit together while she opens difficult mail. A reminder that she is still included.

Please Don’t Assume

Please do not assume a widow is “over it” because she smiles. Please do not assume she is helpless because she cries. Please do not assume that because a year has passed, her life has settled into something easy.

Widowhood changes over time, but it does not disappear. Grief evolves. Confidence may return. New joy may come. Purpose may deepen. Love may be remembered with more gratitude than anguish. But the loss remains part of the story.

A Day for All of Us

After Tom died, I could not have imagined all the ways my own life would continue to unfold. I wrote, taught, did research, spoke, listened, learned, and eventually loved again. My life did not end with widowhood. But widowhood changed me. It deepened my compassion. It sharpened my sense of purpose. It taught me how much widows need both practical guidance and tender understanding.

That is why I believe International Widows Day is not only for widows. It is for all of us.

It is a day to notice the woman sitting alone in church, the neighbor who no longer gets invited to couples’ dinners, and the client trying to understand documents she never handled before. It is also a day to notice the friend who seems capable but is exhausted, the mother or grandmother who does not want to be a burden, the newly widowed woman who cannot yet imagine a future, and the long-widowed woman who still carries love and loss in the same heart.

On June 23, let us see widows more clearly.

Not as women to be pitied.

Not as many problems to be solved.

Not as people who need to “move on” according to someone else’s timetable.

But as women navigating one of life’s most profound transitions, where courage, confusion, sorrow, strength, and hope often live side by side.

And let us remember this: no widow should have to move forward entirely on her own.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

Do you think widows are often excluded from social events? What would be the best solution to isolation after loss?

Skin Care

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How to Make Your Own Essential Oil Blend for Mature Skin (Recipe)

A Basic Essential Oil Blend for Everyday Mature Skin Care

With all the wonderful natural facial serums on the market today, it can be a little overwhelming choosing the correct formula with safe, non-toxic ingredients, all at a reasonable price. The good news is that it’s easy and fun to make a quality product on your own using the miracle of nature – essential oils. 

When I started working with skincare formulas in 2003, one of the first products I was excited about making was an essential oil-based facial serum. My skin needs were changing, and a moisturizing oil made perfect sense for dry, maturing skin.

I decided to work with four wonderful healthy aging essential oils I had discovered: Lavender, Frankincense, Rose Geranium, and Carrot Seed.

The natural and highly effective nature of essential oils makes them perfect for skincare. When blended for their various properties and used with a carrier oil that matches your skin type, you can create a serum tailor-made for your skin.

What Are Essential Oils?

Essential oils are the essence of plants. Hidden away in many parts of the plant, like the flowers, seeds, and roots, they are very potent chemical compounds. They can give the plant its scent, protect it from harsh conditions, and help with pollination.

The benefits of essential oils on humans are diverse and amazing. Lavender flower oil, for example, contains compounds that help soothe skin irritation and redness, while the scent reduces feelings of anxiety and stress.

The beautiful Rose essential oil is hydrating to the skin and sometimes used to treat scarring, while the scent is known to help lift depression. 

There are many essential oils to choose from for specific skincare needs. I have used a myriad of different combinations but keep coming back to the tried and true blend from my very first serum.

The four essential oils used are the workhorses of skincare for mature skin, as well as being wonderfully uplifting for mind, body, and spirit. 

The Base Oil Blend Formula

Here’s what you’ll need:

Bottle

1 oz. amber dropper bottle. You can find those in pharmacies or online.

Base (Carrier) Oil

As a base, you can use one of the oils below or a combination of several that meet your skin’s needs:

  • Jojoba oil is my base oil of choice. It’s incredible for most skin types: it’s extremely gentle and non-irritating for sensitive skin, moisturizing for dry skin, balancing for oily skin, ideal for combination skin, and offers a barrier of protection from environmental stressors. It also helps skin glow as it delivers deep hydration.
  • Rosehip oil smooths the skin’s texture and calms redness and irritation.
  • Argan oil contains high levels of vitamin E and absorbs thoroughly into the skin leaving little oily residue.
  • Avocado oil is effective at treating age spots and sun damage, as well as helping to soothe inflammatory conditions such as blemishes and eczema.
  • Olive oil is a heavier oil and the perfect choice if your skin needs a mega-dose of hydration. Just be aware that olive oil takes longer to absorb and leaves the skin with an oily feeling. This may be desirable for extremely dry, red, itchy skin.

Essential Oils

  • Lavender essential oil is very versatile and healing. It helps reduce inflammation, kill bacteria, and clear pores. Its scent is also calming and soothing.
  • Frankincense essential oil helps to tone and strengthen mature skin in addition to fighting bacteria and balancing oil production.
  • Rose Geranium essential oil helps tighten the skin by reducing the appearance of fine lines, helps reduce inflammation and fight redness, and offers anti-bacterial benefits to help fight the occasional breakout. The scent is also known to be soothing and balancing.
  • Carrot seed oil is a fantastic essential oil for combination skin. It helps even the skin tone while reducing inflammation and increasing water retention.

The Recipe

Let’s start with a simple recipe:

  • 1 oz. Jojoba oil (or carrier oil of your choice)
  • 10 drops Lavender
  • 10 drops Frankincense
  • 10 drops Rose Geranium
  • 10 drops Carrot seed oil 

Place the essential oil drops in the amber dropper bottle then fill with Jojoba/carrier oil. It’s that simple!

Applying Your Homemade Serum

Use this serum morning and evening as part of your regular skincare routine. Serums work best when applied after cleansing your face. You can cleanse with Coconut Oil or a mixture of oils for enhanced hydration (we will cover this in the next article) or use your regular facial cleanser.

Essential oils will not interfere in any way with your normal skincare products.

Keep in mind that the serum is concentrated. Use only a pea-sized amount, work it into your fingertips, and apply evenly over the face without tugging or pulling.

If your skin feels tacky, reduce the amount on the next application. Your skin should feel soft, not oily. Follow with your regular moisturizer if you like. 

Making your own facial serum is fun and rewarding! I look forward to hearing your thoughts and ideas on essential oils and making personalized serums and skincare.

What facial serum do you use? Have you made one yourself? What is your favorite essential oil for skin care? Please share your thoughts with our community!

International Widows Day: What Widows Need Us to Understand

After my husband Tom died in 2007, I remember how quickly the world seemed to move on. There were flowers, cards, casseroles, hugs, and kind words from people who truly cared. I was grateful for every gesture. In those early days, love often arrived in practical forms – a meal, a note, a hand on my shoulder, someone sitting quietly beside me when there were no words.

After my husband Tom died in 2007, I remember how quickly the world seemed to move on.

There were flowers, cards, casseroles, hugs, and kind words from people who truly cared. I was grateful for every gesture. In those early days, love often arrived in practical forms – a meal, a note, a hand on my shoulder, someone sitting quietly beside me when there were no words.

But eventually, the phone rang less often. The cards stopped coming. The casseroles disappeared. People returned to their ordinary lives, as they naturally needed to do.

Yet my ordinary life was gone.

When the Funeral Is Over

The paperwork kept arriving. Financial decisions needed attention. Documents had to be gathered. Accounts had to be changed. Financial decisions needed attention. Tax questions surfaced. Invitations felt different. My identity felt unsettled. I was still Kathleen, of course – but I was also now a widow, trying to understand what life would look like from here.

That is something many widows understand. The funeral may be over, but widowhood is just beginning.

Each year on June 23, International Widows Day gives us a reason to pause and see widows more clearly. Not with pity. Not with awkward silence. But with compassion, respect, and a deeper understanding of what this life transition really involves.

The United Nations has estimated there are approximately 258 million widows worldwide, many facing poverty, discrimination, and exclusion.

Widowhood Is More Than Grief

Widowhood is not simply an emotional loss, although grief is certainly at the center of it. Widowhood can also bring financial uncertainty, social isolation, legal decisions, housing questions, health concerns, changed friendships, and a quiet but profound shift in identity.

For some widows, the challenges are immediate and severe. Around the world, widows may face poverty, discrimination, loss of property rights, social exclusion, and harmful traditions. Here in the United States, the struggles may look different, but they are still very real. Many women find themselves managing money alone for the first time, making major decisions while grieving, or discovering that their social world has changed in ways they did not expect.

Even widows who appear “strong” may be carrying far more than others realize.

“I Didn’t Know It Would Be Like This”

I have spent many years listening to widows and the professionals who serve them. Again and again, I have heard women describe the same painful surprise: “I didn’t know it would be like this.”

They expected grief. They did not always expect the administrative avalanche.

They expected sadness. They did not always expect loneliness in a room full of people.

They expected to miss their spouse. They did not always expect to miss the version of themselves they had been in that marriage.

They expected hard days. They did not always expect that major financial decisions might be required before they felt emotionally ready to make them.

This is why International Widows Day matters. It reminds us that widowhood is not a small or private issue affecting only a few women. It is a major life transition experienced by millions. And because women often live longer than men, many women will spend part of their later lives widowed.

Resilience Grows Best with Support

Widowhood is not only a story of loss. It is also a story of courage, resilience, reinvention, and community.

I have seen widows rebuild lives of meaning and purpose. I have seen them become mentors, volunteers, advocates, writers, travelers, business owners, generous friends, loving grandmothers, wise leaders, and sources of strength for others. I have seen women who once felt overwhelmed slowly regain confidence. I have seen them learn to handle financial matters, make thoughtful decisions, ask better questions, and discover new parts of themselves.

But I have also learned this: resilience grows best when surrounded by support.

Widows do not need people to swoop in and take over. They need people to walk beside them. They need friends who keep inviting them, even if they often say no at first. They need family members who listen without rushing them. They need financial, legal, healthcare, and faith leaders who understand that grief affects decision-making. They need practical help without condescension. They need room to be both strong and vulnerable.

The Power of Widow-to-Widow Connection

Sometimes, most of all, widows need to be with other widows.

There is a special kind of relief that comes from sitting with someone who understands without needing a long explanation. Another widow may know why a simple form can bring tears, why a wedding invitation can feel complicated, why eating alone can be so hard, or why confidence may come back in small, uneven steps.

That is why organizations devoted to widow support are so important.

Modern Widows Club has helped change the conversation by focusing on widow care, empowerment, community, and rebuilding. Its work reminds widows that they are not alone and that life after loss can include healing, growth, leadership, friendship, and renewed purpose.

Soaring Spirits International is another powerful example. Through programs such as Widowed Village and Camp Widow, it connects widowed people with others who understand the landscape of grief and the long process of rebuilding. These communities do not erase the loss. Nothing can do that. But they can make the path less lonely.

For widows, connection is not a luxury. It is part of healing.

What Support Can Look Like

On International Widows Day, those of us who care about widows can ask ourselves some practical questions.

  • Do we keep showing up after the first few weeks?
  • Do we invite widowed friends to dinner, concerts, holidays, and ordinary outings?
  • Do we say their spouse’s name, rather than pretending the person never existed?
  • Do we offer help with specific tasks, such as sorting papers, making phone calls, or getting to appointments?
  • Do we respect that grief has no neat timetable?
  • Do we encourage widows to delay major irreversible decisions when possible, while still helping them handle what truly must be done?
  • Do we support organizations that provide widow-to-widow connection?
  • Do our professional communities – financial planning, law, healthcare, counseling, senior living, faith communities – understand widowhood well enough to respond with patience and care?

Sometimes the most meaningful support is simple. A text that says, “I’m thinking of you today.” An invitation with no pressure attached. A willingness to listen to the same story again. An offer to sit together while she opens difficult mail. A reminder that she is still included.

Please Don’t Assume

Please do not assume a widow is “over it” because she smiles. Please do not assume she is helpless because she cries. Please do not assume that because a year has passed, her life has settled into something easy.

Widowhood changes over time, but it does not disappear. Grief evolves. Confidence may return. New joy may come. Purpose may deepen. Love may be remembered with more gratitude than anguish. But the loss remains part of the story.

A Day for All of Us

After Tom died, I could not have imagined all the ways my own life would continue to unfold. I wrote, taught, did research, spoke, listened, learned, and eventually loved again. My life did not end with widowhood. But widowhood changed me. It deepened my compassion. It sharpened my sense of purpose. It taught me how much widows need both practical guidance and tender understanding.

That is why I believe International Widows Day is not only for widows. It is for all of us.

It is a day to notice the woman sitting alone in church, the neighbor who no longer gets invited to couples’ dinners, and the client trying to understand documents she never handled before. It is also a day to notice the friend who seems capable but is exhausted, the mother or grandmother who does not want to be a burden, the newly widowed woman who cannot yet imagine a future, and the long-widowed woman who still carries love and loss in the same heart.

On June 23, let us see widows more clearly.

Not as women to be pitied.

Not as many problems to be solved.

Not as people who need to “move on” according to someone else’s timetable.

But as women navigating one of life’s most profound transitions, where courage, confusion, sorrow, strength, and hope often live side by side.

And let us remember this: no widow should have to move forward entirely on her own.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

Do you think widows are often excluded from social events? What would be the best solution to isolation after loss?

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Why the Best Place to Retire Might Not Be the Place Everyone Recommends

Why the Best Place to Retire Might Not Be the Place Everyone Recommends

When people talk about the best places to retire, the same names tend to come up again and again.

Florida. Arizona. The Carolinas. A sunny town near the water. A low-tax state. A popular retirement community that a friend, neighbor or magazine article recommended.

There is nothing wrong with any of those places. Many people love them.

But the older I get, and the more retirement destinations I compare, the more I believe this: the best place to retire is not always the place everyone else recommends.

It is the place that fits your actual life.

That sounds simple, but it is easy to forget when so much retirement advice is built around rankings, taxes, weather and cost of living. Those things matter. But they are not the whole story.

What Works for Someone Else May Not Work for You

One woman may want sunshine, golf and a busy social calendar.

Another may want to stay close to grandchildren.

Someone else may care most about walkability, medical care, lower housing costs, familiar seasons, or being near lifelong friends.

None of those choices are wrong.

The problem comes when we let someone else’s idea of retirement become our plan.

A place can look wonderful on paper and still not feel right once you imagine your daily life there. You may like the weather but miss your family. You may save money on taxes but spend more on insurance, travel or healthcare. You may love the house but feel isolated in the community.

That is why retirement-location decisions should start with your own priorities, not someone else’s list.

The Rankings Are Only a Starting Point

Retirement rankings can be useful. They help you notice places you may not have considered. They can point out differences in taxes, housing costs, healthcare access and climate.

But rankings cannot know you.

They cannot know whether you want to be close to your daughter, whether you still like driving at night, whether you want a church or volunteer community nearby, or whether you would rather have a smaller home in a familiar town than a larger home somewhere far away.

This is why I like to think of rankings as a starting point, not a final answer.

Tools that let you compare places to retire can help you narrow the field, but the final decision still must be personal.

Affordability Matters, But So Does Daily Life

Money matters in retirement. For many women, it matters a lot.

Housing costs, taxes, insurance, utilities and healthcare can shape what retirement feels like from month to month.

That is why looking at affordable places to retire can be a smart first step.

But affordability should not be the only step.

The least expensive place may not be the best choice if it leaves you far from family, without good medical care, or in a community where you struggle to build friendships.

On the other hand, a slightly more expensive location may be worth it if it gives you a stronger support system, better access to doctors, or a daily routine that makes you feel more connected.

The question is not just, “Can I afford this place?”

It is also, “Can I build a good life here?”

Healthcare Should Be Part of the Decision Early

Many people think about healthcare only after they move.

That could be a mistake.

In your 60s, a place may feel perfectly convenient. In your 70s or 80s, access to specialists, hospitals, pharmacies and transportation may matter much more.

It is worth asking:

  • How far is the nearest good hospital?
  • Are there enough doctors accepting new patients?
  • Would I be comfortable driving there?
  • Could I still manage appointments if I no longer wanted to drive?

A beautiful retirement destination is less attractive if basic medical access becomes difficult later.

Weather Is More Than Sunshine

Warm weather is one of the biggest reasons people move in retirement.

After years of snow, ice and gray winters, sunshine can sound like freedom.

But climate has tradeoffs too.

A hot summer can be just as limiting as a cold winter. Hurricanes, wildfire, smoke, drought, flooding and extreme heat can affect comfort, safety and insurance costs.

That does not mean you should avoid warm places. It just means you should look at the full year, not only the month you are tired of where you live now.

For some retirees, checking for natural disaster risk is just as important as checking winter temperatures.

The Social Side May Matter Most

One of the most overlooked questions in retirement planning is simple:

Who will I spend time with?

A lower-cost location may look appealing, but loneliness has a cost too.

If you move far away from friends, family and familiar routines, you may need to rebuild your social life from scratch. Some people do this easily. Others find it harder than they expected.

Before moving, think about your real life.

  • Do you like seeing family often?
  • Do you want neighbors nearby?
  • Do you prefer a busy community, or do you need quiet?
  • Will you join groups, volunteer, take classes or attend local events?

The best retirement place is not only where you sleep. It is where your days happen.

You May Not Need to Move as Far as You Think

Sometimes people assume retirement requires a dramatic move.

Across the country. To the beach. To a famous retirement state. To a place where everyone else seems to be going.

But sometimes the better answer is much closer.

A nearby county with lower housing costs. A smaller home in the same region. A walkable town near your adult children. A community with better healthcare but still close to friends.

A good retirement move does not have to be dramatic. It must be useful.

The Best Place Is the One That Fits Your Next Chapter

Retirement is not one-size-fits-all.

For some women, the best place may be sunny, social and far from where they raised their families. For others, it may be a familiar town with better support nearby. Some may want adventure. Others may want peace. Some may want to stretch their money. Others may decide that closeness to family is worth more than a lower tax bill.

The best place to retire is not necessarily the place everyone talks about.

It is the place where your money, health, relationships and daily life have the best chance of working together.

That answer will be different for each of us.

And that is exactly why it is worth thinking beyond the usual recommendations.

Over to You:

Have you thought about where you would like to live in retirement? Would you rather move somewhere new, stay close to family, or find a smaller change closer to home? What matters most to you when you imagine your next chapter?

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5 Steps to Turning Yourself on After 60

5 Steps to Turning Yourself on After 60

For decades, a widespread belief that sexuality is only validated through external relationships has convinced millions of women and men over 60 that sexual pleasure and intimacy must come from someone else turning them on.

Does this belief limit sexual pleasure as we age by creating dependency on external approval? Does this belief also lead to diminished self-worth? And if so, how can we rewrite the rules of sexuality as we age?

In this article and video, we will answer these questions as we explore the health benefits of turning yourself on and share a five-step plan for doing so.

This is the second of a new, 10-part exclusive series for Sixty and Me readers titled “Improve Your Lifestyle After 60 by Boosting Your Sexual Confidence.”

Health Benefits of Turning Yourself on

Martha Kauppi, an AASECT-certified sex therapist and supervisor, who is also the founder of the Institute for Relational Intimacy, wrote the following in 2020:

“In our culture, we tend to assume that desire comes from outside ourselves: we see a sexy person walk by, and we get turned on. But the truth is that desire comes from within.

When that sexy person walks by, it leads to a thought, and that thought comes from within you. It’s your interpretation of any given stimulus that makes it erotic, and results in you feeling turned on. It’s not a “bolt from out of the blue;” it comes from your own erotic self.”

But what does this mean for self-pleasure after 60? What if you are not interested in a romantic partnership at this stage of life, are you to just give up your right to feel sexual and sensual?

Pleasing yourself and exploring what turns you on is an act of self-love and self-discovery. When you embrace your own sexuality and allow yourself to be sensual without guilt or external validation, you strengthen your emotional well-being, confidence, and overall vitality.

Even though sexuality begins within you, there are many internal and external obstacles to face and overcome. One of the biggest barriers to turning yourself on is the outdated belief that self-pleasure is inappropriate, shameful, or unnecessary at this stage of life.

In reality, turning yourself on is:

  • A tool for emotional release and self-care.
  • A way to improve body awareness and intimacy.
  • A source of pleasure, relaxation, and connection with oneself.

By releasing old taboos and embracing pleasure as a personal right, you regain control over your sensuality as you cultivate deeper self-love and sexual empowerment.

5-Steps to Turning Yourself on

Turning yourself on is not just about physical pleasure. Nor is it about waiting for someone else to initiate the need for you to be turned on.

Turning yourself on is about:

  • Personal empowerment
  • Emotional connection
  • Deep self-love

To experience the benefits of turning yourself on, here are five steps for immediately improving the quality of your lifestyle after 60:

STEP 1: Mirror Appreciation Ritual

This step is about self-acceptance. Stand in front of a mirror without judgment and observe yourself with admiration. Gently touch your skin, noticing its texture, warmth, and beauty.

Your experiences, wisdom, and stories are part of your allure, and this first step helps you to embrace the changes in your body and recognize beauty in aging.

STEP 2: Explore Inspiring Content on Sexuality & Aging

This step is about satisfying your curiosity and is essential for turning yourself on at this stage of life. There are books, articles, workshops, and videos focused on sexuality and pleasure for those who are 60 and over.

Seek online or in-person events focused on self-love, intimacy, or sexual wellness. Also, try a different form of touch, new scents, or sensual fabrics that enhance self-awareness and accentuate pleasure.

STEP 3: Create a Sacred Space for Pleasure

Set up a comfortable, private area where you feel safe and relaxed for self-exploration. Use your hands, different textures, or temperature play (warm oils & cool sensations) to enhance pleasure.

Masturbation is a way to understand what feels good to you. Invest in high-quality personal massagers, vibrators, lubricants, and/or stimulating visuals designed for your personal taste.

STEP 4: Self-Reflection on Desires & Boundaries

If you have a romantic partner, be open in your communication about your desires, fears, and boundaries. This level of being vulnerable fosters understanding and can lead to a more fulfilling sexual relationship.

Engage in open discussions with trusted friends, partners, or professionals about changes, solutions, and empowerment. Also, practice expressing what feels good for you, alone or with a partner, using confident and inviting language. Journaling is beneficial with this step.

STEP 5: Schedule a Sexual Wellness Check-Up

Some women and men over 60 may benefit from medical interventions like hormone replacement therapy or pills to help a man’s libido. Vaginal dryness is a common issue post-menopause and the use of lubricants can alleviate discomfort. Consulting with a gynecologist or sexual health expert can provide tailored advice for these challenges.

Next Steps

When you embrace these five steps, you affirm your right to pleasure, confidence, and intimate self-discovery on your own terms. By taking control of your own desires, you create a more fulfilling, vibrant, and joyful lifestyle.

I invite you to join me in the video, where I share with you five immediate benefits of turning yourself on and embracing pleasure after 60. I will also guide you through three journal prompts to help you integrate what you are learning.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

What does sexuality mean to you after 60? How do you embrace your sexuality? What in this article sounds doable to you?

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The Valley Season 3 Episode 13 Fashion

The Valley Season 3 Episode 13 Fashion

If I had a dollar for every time I thought to myself while watching The Valley last night, I’d have enough money to take one. Because Mexico was looking realllll nice (minus all the screaming and fighting of course). But not only was the look of Mexico enticing the looks in Mexico were also pretty dang good. And thankfully we have some of them below so though I may not be purchasing a plane ticket, I will be buying a few new outfits for summer. 

Sincerely Stylish,

Jess


Nia Sanchez’s Navy Sequin Tweed Dress on WWHL

Nia Sanchez's Navy Sequin Tweed Dress on WWHL

Click Here to Shop Additional Stock

Photo: @bravowwhl


Michelle Saniei’s Navy Polka Dot Drop Waist Dress

Michelle Saniei's Navy Polka Dot Drop Waist Dress

Style Stealers:

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Janet Caperna’s Brown Tie Dye Skirt Set

Janet Caperna's Brown Tie Dye Skirt Set

Kristen Doute’s Mixed Print Maxi Dress

Kristen Doute's Mixed Print Maxi Dress


Lala Kent’s Black Sunglasses

Lala Kent's Black Sunglasses

Click Here to Shop Additional Stock


Jasmine Goode’s Colorblock Cutout One Piece Swimsuit

Jasmine Goode's Colorblock Cutout One Piece Swimsuit


Nia Sanchez’s White Cropped Crochet Polo

Nia Sanchez's White Cropped Crochet Polo


Janet Caperna’s Croissant Pajama Set

Janet Caperna's Croissant Pajama Set


Jasmine Goode’s Pink Sequin Confessional Look

Jasmine Goode's Pink Sequin Confessional Look


Nia Sanchez’s White Floral Applique Confessional Look

Nia Sanchez's White Floral Applique Confessional Look

Click Here to Shop A Look for Less


Season 3 Confessional Looks

Kristen Doute’s Brown Tie Dye Confessional Look

Jasmine Goode’s Yellow Confessional Maxi Dress

Jasmine Goode's Yellow Draped Confessional Look

Brittany Cartwright’s Light Blue Confessional Look

Brittany Cartwright's Blue Mesh Confessional Look

Janet Caperna’s Burgundy Confessional Dress

Janet Caperna's Burgundy Knit Off The Shoulder Confessional Look

Lala Kent’s Leopard Confessional Look

Lala Kent's Black Leopard Confessional Look

Nia Sanchez’s 3D Floral Dress

Nia Sanchez's Floral Applique Confessional Dress

Janet Caperna’s Brown Sequin Dress

Janet Caperna's Brown Sequin Confessional Dress

Lala Kent’s Denim Look Dress

Lala Kent's Denim Look Confessional Dress

Jasmine Goode’s White Halter Dress

Jasmine Goode's White Halter Confessional Dress

Lala Kent’s Black Asymmetrical Dress in Confessionals

Lala Kent's Black Asymmetrical Confessional Look

Nia Sanchez’s Light Blue Confessional Look

Nia Sanchez's Light Blue Confessional Dress

Kristen Doute’s Bias Striped Dress in Confessionals

Kristen Doute's Blue Velvet Striped Confessional Look






Originally posted at: The Valley Season 3 Episode 13 Fashion

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The Warmth of Wisdom: 5 Joys I Discovered in My 60s

The Warmth of Wisdom 5 Joys I Discovered in My 60s

As a young girl, I remember walking home from school as the evenings got dark and I would peer into the bright windows of the houses I passed along the way. I was fascinated and also felt a little lonely and envious for the lives that I saw reflected within. I marveled at the rooms where everything seemed perfect and manicured to such a degree that I felt the occupants could never have any problems in life.

I hankered for the families I saw gathered around the dining room table laughing and hugging each other with such love and warmth. I longed to go up to these houses and knock on the door and ask if I could spend just a little time in their company. A little time spent in the perfect living room with the perfect family. But instead, I walked past, leaving the laughter and the polished furniture behind me as I made my way home to our little bungalow at the end of a cul-de-sac.

There Was Always Love

Please don’t misunderstand me. My early home life had all we needed and there was a lot of love contained within the walls of our little house. We moved there after my father died when I was very young. My mother, a young widow with two small children, sold everything she had in order to buy the little bungalow for four thousand pounds. It was a fortune in those days and yet she did it.

Somehow, she managed to get the money together while deep in grief and loss from the death of my father. Something in hindsight that I look back on and revere with such awe. The bungalow was perfect for us as it was opposite my grandfather’s house. A huge old Victorian block of a house with three attic rooms and a cellar that always frightened my sister and I.

My mother had a ritual that every night at 6.00pm she would wave to my grandfather from across the road to make sure he was okay. If he didn’t show up, she would charge straight over to check that all was well. Many times, he forgot the 6pm ritual and my mother would come back, red in the face and frustrated from having dropped everything in fear and worry to be with him.

Snapshots in Time

These moments… these old snapshots in time linger softly in my memories today as I think back to my past and spend a little time with these old ghosts. I can still see every detail of our little bungalow and can recall the anxious wait for our grandfather to appear at his window for the evening wave of reassurance. These and countless other moments have shaped the child I was, the young adult I became and the elder woman that I am in the process of becoming.

From Looking in to Settling in

At 66, one of the greatest lessons that I have learned is that home is not found in someone else’s perfect looking sitting room or in the perfect family, if there is ever such a thing. It is found here, deep within my heart. And it is from here that we create the experience of our life that truly matters and enriches our soul. I understand that peace is not something I find when my life is perfect, but something I keep returning to as a practice, a thought and a new way of looking after myself.

Finally, Home

Today, these life lessons have shaped the woman I am and the work that I love to bring to the world. I feel blessed to be able to teach and coach the things that matter most to me… body confidence, self-love, joyful ageing and my uplifting dance fitness classes. And, when I look back to those early days of longing to be somewhere other than where I was, I feel an overwhelming sense of gratitude that I am exactly where I am.

I know that nothing is ever wasted and that everything can lead us home if we allow ourselves to follow the breadcrumbs of our own belonging.

5 Joys to Share with You

1. Choosing to Stay Excited by Life

I notice the smallest details and celebrate them… the morning cup of tea, the birds chirping outside my window, the new book I am about to read, the roses as they bloom wildly, freshly washed sheets, a chat with a friend, speaking at a workshop or event, the golden evening light before dusk settles in, teaching my dance fitness classes. Every day brings some small joy, and I remind myself to appreciate them as they won’t come again in quite the same way as today.

2. Awakening to What Makes Me Feel Alive

I remind myself to move towards what makes me feel more alive and to surround myself in as much beauty as possible. These are the things that light me up and make me feel uplifted and hopeful. They can be anything – from planning a beautiful holiday or trip to reading an interesting book on something I love. Aliveness is felt in the body as expansion, lightness, excitement, joy and a positive anticipation of something to come. The key is to follow these glimmers of aliveness in whatever way that you can.

3. Gratitude for My Body

I say a daily thank you to my dear body. She has been through a lot and yet she is still here supporting and loving me. And even through the pain of arthritis, she still allows me to walk, to dance, to write, to hug the people I love and to experience all the things that I hold most precious in life. The relationship that we have with our body is the longest one in our life – let’s make it kind and caring.

4. The Art of Living in the Now

Every day, I remind myself to live in the moment as much as I can. To eat when I’m physically hungry and to savour each mouthful of food. To rest when I need to – something that in the past I found hard to do. I live a lot slower than I used to. This is intentional because I love to fully appreciate the moment that is unfolding. I let life flow rather than trying to force the outcomes. Just this practice alone brings so much peace.

5. The Daily Joy of Simply Showing Up

Every day, I remind myself to get up, dress up and show up. This is powerful for me. Every new day greets us with armfuls of new opportunities to be enjoyed. In return, I make sure that I meet the day with my arms stretched out wide ready to embrace what’s there. Sometimes, the day is quiet and reflective and just calls for me to put on my comfy clothes as I potter around the house. Other days, I wear my swishy long kimono with my boho maxi skirt and brightly coloured top and get ready to take on the world.

If you would love to walk alongside me as we travel this journey together, I would love your company. Join me on Instagram @romancingyourbody for more loving tips, coaching, inspiration and gentle musings on what it is to show up each day as the most authentic and loving version of you.

Over to You:

What are the most positive lessons that you have learned in your life? What brings you joy and peace?

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Rachel Zoe’s Luxe Hair Brush is 30% Off!

Rachel Zoe’s Luxe Hair Brush is 30% Off! / Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Season 15 Episode 14 Beauty Throwback

I was gifted these products by Bur Bur and earn a commission on sales from this post, but all thoughts and opinions are my own!

During the last season on the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills we spotted Rachel Zoe using a luxe boar bristle travel brush in Italy. And despite being “Big Blonde Hair,” I had no idea what I was missing out on by using a “normal” brush until Bur Bur sent me the full sized version of Rachel’s to try.

The brush Rachel uses is my new go-to and it truly tames fly aways and leaves my hair looking so shiny and smooth. I am now also using their wet detangling brush and just tried their leave in mask last night and my hair could not look more amazing. And since now through June 29, 2026 you can get 30% off all of these products (linked below) and more with code FOUREVER, I highly suggest scrolling and shopping because you will truly notice a difference in your hair!

The Realest Housewife,

Big Blonde Hair


Rachel Zoe's Mini Hair Brush

Use Code FOUREVER for 30% Off at Bur Bur now through 6/29/2026


Bur Bur products I am currently using and loving that are also 30% off:

Bur Bur Mermaid Brush
Bur Bur Growing Season Conditioner
Bur Bur Mermaid Wet Detangling Brush

Originally posted at: Rachel Zoe’s Luxe Hair Brush is 30% Off!

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