I want to ask you something that might be a little uncomfortable.

When did you last ask yourself what you actually want?

Not what your children need. Not what your grandchildren would enjoy. Not what would make the holidays easier or the family gathering run more smoothly or the situation with your adult child less complicated. What you want. From this chapter of your life. From the years that are genuinely still in front of you.

I’m asking because I’ve spent a lot of time with women over 60 – through my writing, through the platforms I run for women navigating midlife, and frankly through just being a woman in my late 50s navigating the same territory myself – and I’ve noticed something remarkably consistent.

We are extraordinarily good at deferring that question.

We’ll get to it. After the holidays settle down. After the grandchildren get a little older and less demanding. After we figure out the living situation. After things calm down – which they never quite do, because life never quite does.

No Guarantees

I understand that impulse deeply. I lived it for decades. I was a criminal defense attorney for 35 years, which meant I was perpetually in service to someone else’s urgent need. Before that I was a mother, which is its own version of permanent availability. The habit of putting my own question last was so deeply grooved that even when the external demands finally eased, I kept reaching for other people’s priorities like a woman who had simply forgotten she was allowed to have her own.

Here is what I want to say as plainly as I know how to say anything: after is not a guarantee. And the life you keep meaning to sit down and think about is happening right now, while you’re waiting for a better moment to pay attention to it.

I am not trying to alarm you. I am trying to offer you the truth, which is something I have always believed women in this season deserve far more of than they typically receive.

Turn Toward the Questions

Here is the other truth, and I want to say it just as clearly: it is not too late. Whatever you’ve been telling yourself has passed you by, whatever chapter you’ve been quietly afraid you missed – you haven’t missed it. The research on meaning and purpose in later life is consistent and encouraging on this point. The women who report the highest levels of genuine flourishing in their 60s and 70s are not the ones who figured everything out early. They are the ones who kept asking. Who kept turning toward the question instead of away from it.

The women I know personally who are thriving in this season share one quality above all others. They answered the question. Not all at once. Not without doubt or uncertainty. But they decided that who they are now matters – not who they were, not who their families need them to be, but who they actually are today – and they started treating that as worth knowing.

Start Small

What does that look like in practice? It starts smaller than you might expect. It starts with 20 minutes of honest reflection and a willingness to sit with what surfaces. It starts with questions like: What would I do if I genuinely believed there was still time? What have I been telling myself I’ll get to someday? What does thriving look like for me, specifically, in my real and actual life – not the imagined one I keep putting off?

Those are not small questions. But they are available to you right now, today, regardless of your circumstances or your history or what has come before. They do not require a dramatic change or a perfect set of conditions. They require only a willingness to take yourself seriously.

I put together something free to help you begin. It is called the Second Act Soul Check-In – three questions to help you locate yourself honestly in this season. Where you have been, where you actually are, and where you might be heading. It takes about twenty minutes. It will not tell you what to do. It will help you hear yourself more clearly, which I believe is the most useful thing I can offer.

You have more life ahead of you than you may be allowing yourself to believe. The only question is whether you are going to pay attention to it. That question is worth answering now, not after.

DOWNLOAD FREE — SECOND ACT SOUL CHECK-IN

Let’s Discuss:

Do you find it hard to prioritize your own wants? Where do you think that habit came from?

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Over the years, many of you have shared your stories with us.

You’ve told us about starting over after divorce or loss. About relocating to a new city or country. About becoming caregivers, then rediscovering yourselves once again. You’ve described learning to navigate retirement, changing family roles, health challenges, and the sometimes surprising question of who you want to become in this next chapter of life.

You’ve also told us something else.

Again and again, you’ve shown that women over 60 are remarkably adaptable.

Technology After 60 Is Not a New Challenge

Most of us have been adapting to change our entire lives.

We have watched handwritten letters give way to email and paper maps yield to GPS. We remember rotary phones, long-distance charges, and waiting days for photographs to be developed. We learned to navigate smartphones, online banking, video calls, and digital photo albums. Many of us maintain friendships across continents and stay connected to children, grandchildren, and communities through technology that would have seemed unimaginable just a few decades ago.

And now, artificial intelligence is simply the latest technology asking us to adapt once again.

Tomorrow it may be artificial general intelligence. The day after that, it could be technologies we cannot yet imagine.

The names will change. The headlines will change. The pace of innovation will continue to accelerate.

But perhaps the more important question remains the same:

How do we embrace change without losing ourselves in the process?

We’ve Been Adapting All Along

Most conversations about new technology focus on disruption. We hear about jobs disappearing, industries changing, and the pressure to keep up.

Yet based on what many of you have shared over the years, that isn’t the question keeping you awake at night.

You’re wondering how to make the most of this stage of life.

How do you maintain your independence? How do you nurture your health, deepen your relationships, travel with confidence, express your creativity, and continue growing into the person you are still becoming?

Perhaps technology matters only to the extent that it helps us answer those questions.

What Does Technology After 60 Really Mean?

For many women, technology after 60 isn’t about becoming an expert.

It’s about using the right tools to support the life you want to live.

When smartphones first appeared, many of us learned how to use them because we wanted to see photos of our grandchildren or stay connected while traveling.

Video calls allowed us to bridge distances that once felt impossible. Online banking simplified everyday tasks.

None of us had to become engineers to benefit from those changes. We simply remained open. Curiosity matters far more than technical expertise.

Small Tools Can Create Big Possibilities

Imagine planning a long-awaited trip and having technology help you build an itinerary tailored to your interests.

Imagine organizing treasured family recipes into a keepsake cookbook for future generations.

Imagine drafting a difficult email when emotions make finding the right words challenging.

Picture yourself preparing thoughtful questions before a doctor’s appointment so you feel more confident advocating for your health.

Perhaps a new tool introduces you to books you might never have discovered, hobbies you’ve always wanted to explore, or volunteer opportunities aligned with your values.

None of these uses require you to become a technology enthusiast. They simply invite you to use new tools in service of the life you want to live.

The Wisdom You Already Possess Matters Most

Technology can provide information. It can generate ideas. It can offer suggestions. What it cannot do is decide what matters most to you.

• It cannot tell you which friendships deserve your time and attention.
• It cannot determine which destinations feel like home.
• It cannot define beauty, purpose, joy, or fulfillment.

Only you can do that.

The experiences you’ve gathered over decades of living have taught you what brings comfort, meaning, laughter, and peace.

Those lessons remain invaluable.

These conversations have also led us to wonder whether experience and judgment may become even more valuable in a rapidly changing world. If you’re curious about that idea, we’ve explored it more deeply in a companion article on Next Cradle.

The Next Chapter Is Still Being Written

Perhaps one of the greatest gifts of growing older is recognizing that we don’t have to embrace every trend that comes along.

We can choose thoughtfully.

We can adopt what serves us and leave behind what doesn’t.

The technologies of the future will continue to evolve. Artificial intelligence may eventually give way to something even more transformative.

But the deeper challenge will remain unchanged.

How do we create lives that reflect who we are and what matters most?

Based on the conversations we’ve had with so many of you over the years, I suspect the answer is the same as it has always been.

• We stay curious.
• We remain open to possibility.
• We hold tightly to our values while adapting to changing circumstances.

And we continue creating lives filled with meaning, beauty, connection, and purpose.

Technology after 60 isn’t about keeping up with every innovation.

It’s about using what serves us, letting go of what doesn’t, and continuing to create lives that reflect who we are becoming.

After all, the goal of this next chapter isn’t to become someone else.

It’s to become even more fully ourselves.

What Do You Think?

How have you adapted to change over the years, and are there new tools that have surprised you in the ways they’ve enriched your life?

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Originally posted at: Lindsay Hubbard’s Pinstriped Suit

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Have you ever met women whose scowls look so malevolent that rottweilers suddenly remember they had somewhere else to be? Even a rattlesnake would say, “Nope, not today,” and quietly slither away.

What about that confident woman who makes you feel like a natural fit for her inner circle, only to draw you into her web of manipulation and control? Before long, you may become the target of her wrath – or find yourself being groomed to mirror her behavior.

When my inner radar failed to warn me to give a Meetup organizer a wide berth, here’s how I was able to remove this toxic woman from my life.

The Senior Bully

At some point in our lives, we’ve all encountered these types of women, but I never anticipated running into one in my second half. I figured the days of school yard bullies were behind me. Yet here I am, writing an article on dealing with senior bullies. I was considering calling them mature bullies, but that mixed metaphor just doesn’t work.

Senior bullies are similar to their high school counterparts. These women control through subtle intimidation. If you don’t play by their rules, you’ll be exposed as not being a ‘team player.’ In other words, turning your playmates into a hive of mean girls.

I want to share with you an encounter I had with a bully who underestimated me. My first husband was a bully, so I had some experience with these abusers. And yes, this is abuse, and I do not take kindly to being disrespected.

My New Group

It was a few years ago that I decided to join a Meetup group of women over 50. The group was active and a reasonable size but was run by only one woman about my age (which should have been a clue).

It was a requirement to meet her in person (I’ll call her Lily) to see if I was a good fit for her group. She had one of those stern faces that oozed bad energy. But not wanting to judge without getting to know her, I decided to give Lily the benefit of the doubt. Maybe a heart of gold was beating beneath her protective armour.

My intent had been to join a group of ladies to accompany me to live theatre, opera (something my current friends weren’t keen on), and occasional “outside the box” events. Lily’s group had arranged for us to meet with a professional make-up artist who had worked on Hollywood celebrities. It all sounded very interesting.

A Spot of Bother

After attending a few functions, I noticed Lily had a bit of an edge to her voice when dealing with minor issues. Members were afraid to cross her and skirted around what was on their minds in order not to incur her wrath. Believing we were all adults and could fight our own battles, I didn’t get involved in these skirmishes.

However, I was noticing that ladies who had gently disagreed with Lily were disappearing. Despite her stern appearance, I was pretty sure there was no murder involved but those who spoke up seemed no longer to be involved in any further events.

One day, when a meetup I attended hadn’t gone according to plan and a few of us were disappointed at the poor organization of the event, it quickly became apparent that Lily was not going to take any of the blame.

Instead, she pointed her finger at the attendees, indicating that we were the problem for any chaos incurred when we arrived at the venue. I politely challenged her on this and was swiftly reprimanded. Lily informed me that I was already pushing my luck since she felt I was interacting too much with speakers at past events.

Don’t Disrespect Me

I can tell you, in my second half, no one shuts me down when I’ve done nothing wrong. I was beginning to see the light and I’d had enough. I confronted Lily in the group chat and told her she was not listening to the membership and behaving like a bully. She was lauding over the group like we were her minions. There were to be no dissenting voices of any form for fear of incurring her brutal authority.

The next thing I knew she proved me right. I was told I was too outspoken and she didn’t want me in her group. With a push of a button, I was blocked and our conversation erased.

This, of course, only made me feel vindicated. She was a bully, I had said what I had to say, and she had been too late in removing our conversation before many in our group had read our interaction.

She was reeling from the shock of someone having the audacity to stand up to her. I chalked this up to a win. I don’t tolerate bullies, and I successfully outed one.

Finding the Bodies

After dusting myself off and moving on, it was a few months later that I joined another women’s group which seemed more friendly. And wouldn’t you know it – I unearthed the bodies of the other women who had been ‘blocked’ from Lily’s group.

Apparently, my skirmish with Lily was the talk of our city’s women’s meetup scene. Ladies commented, ‘Oh, that was you!’ They told me they were grateful and thoroughly enjoyed reading our brief exchange.

A Lesson in Bad Behaviour

When you stand up to a bully, they usually don’t push back. They can’t and don’t intend to explain or admit their bad behavior. They will stick their tongue out at you and stomp away. If they can’t be right, they don’t want any part of you.

Sounds good to me. I’m too old for that nonsense. What a colossal waste of one’s time.

Last Word

Meetups can be a bit of trial and error. But don’t give up. In my experience, if you’re searching for friendly faces, look for groups that are run by the members. You can even suggest and arrange your own event. I am currently involved in such a group and thoroughly enjoying my new friends.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

What’s your experience with meetup groups? Have you met any bullies? How have you handled the situation?

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Top Posts

Amanda Batula’s Brown Suede Bag

Ariana Madix’s Beaded Flower Appliqué Mini Dress

Ciara Miller’s Gingham “Cherries” Top

Ariana Madix’s Pink Sheer Crystal and Feather Embellished Gown

Amanda Batula’s Grey Zip Up Hoodie

Lindsay Hubbard’s Khaki Jacket and Red Sunglasses

Ariana Madix’s Turquoise Mesh Dotted Turtleneck and Pants

Amanda Batula’s Season 10 Reunion Look

Lindsay Hubbard’s Navy Blue Denim Collar Sweater

Madison LeCroy’s Barrel Leg Jeans

Amanda Batula’s Light Blue Striped T Shirt

Amanda Batula’s Brown Suede Jacket with Lindsay

Amanda Batula’s Black and Polka Dot Maxi Dress at the In The City Premiere Party

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As a Medicare Customer Advocate for a large US insurance company, one of the things I have learned is that many women are unaware of the free or low-cost preventive screenings and tests that their Medicare plans cover.

I’ve heard it all: “I didn’t know mammograms were free”, “My friends are getting osteoporosis screenings; does Medicare cover that?”, “I haven’t had a colonoscopy in like 20 years, am I eligible for that on my plan?”

You get it; the list of questions is inexhaustible.

What Exactly IS Preventive Care?

Medicare’s Preventive Care benefits focus on pinpointing health concerns early, or preventing them entirely, before they become more serious and more expensive to treat.

The Good News

Medicare covers a gamut of preventive tests and screenings for free or at a low cost to help women stay their healthiest during this chapter in their lives, so check out these benefits!

Medicare Annual Wellness Visits

Unlike traditional physical exams, this yearly checkup allows you and your healthcare provider to review your overall health, assess risk factors, update preventive screenings, and create a personalized wellness plan. Think of it as an annual roadmap for maintaining your health.

New to Medicare? Did you know that before your Annual Wellness Visit benefit kicks in, you are eligible for the one-time “Welcome to Medicare” preventive appointment with your doctor? This visit, which is only good for within the first year you have joined Medicare, gives you and your doctor the chance to review your medical history and your family’s medical history. Your doctor will also inform you about important, covered vaccines and screenings, and best ways for you to stay healthy.

Mammograms

Mammograms can help detect breast cancer in its earliest and most treatable stages. Screening mammograms are covered every 12 months, or more frequently, based on medical necessity.

Bone Density Tests

Bone density tests, which are covered every 24 months or more often, based on medical necessity, can identify osteoporosis before a fracture occurs, a particularly important concern for post-menopausal women. Your doctor will also discuss with you best ways to keep your bones strong.

Cervical and Vaginal Cancer Screenings

These screenings also cover Human Papillomavirus (HPV) tests. These tests are usually covered once every 24 months, but if you are at a high risk for these cancers or have had an abnormal Pap result in the last 36 months, this test will be covered every 12 months.

Colonoscopies

A colonoscopy checks for precancerous polyps in your colon, colon cancer, and other diseases in the colon and rectum. Medicare will cover this screening every 24 months if you are at high risk for colon cancer; if you’re not at high risk, they are covered every 10 years.

Diabetes Screenings

A diabetes screening checks to see if you have diabetes, or you may be at risk for diabetes, and may include a fasting or non-fasting test, an A1C screening, or other Medicare-approved glucose tests.

Bear in mind that this Medicare-preventive coverage is based on whether your health care provider believes you may be at risk for developing diabetes. Medicare will cover up to two of these tests annually, based on the date you went for your most recent screening, not per calendar year.

Depression Screenings

Let’s face it; life can be rough sometimes and can get you down in the dumps. If you have been feeling this way for a while, see your doctor, as this benefit is covered yearly. Your provider will ask you questions to find out if you have depression, and if so, will determine the appropriate follow-up treatment, whether that is medication, a referral to a mental health provider, or both.

Cardiovascular Disease Screenings

Your doctor will check for any heart or blood vessel problems and will determine if you’re at risk for heart disease. This preventive screening also covers tests for cholesterol, lipid and triglyceride levels, and is covered once every five years.

Vaccines and Shots

Yes, Medicare even covers the following jabs to keep you healthy:

• COVID-19 vaccines and other related services.
• Flu Vaccines are covered each year during the flu season.
• Hepatitis B vaccines help prevent against this virus.
• Pneumococcal shots protect you against pneumonia.

Mind you, this list is not exhaustive; Medicare provides beneficiaries with even more preventive services, so check them out!

What to Do Before You Go

Before you go for your preventive screening or test, please note that you pay nothing (or pay a low cost) for these benefits, as long as you receive them from a doctor or health care provider who accepts Medicare.

It is also best practice to call your doctor or your insurance company to confirm or determine that the preventive service you have scheduled is at no cost.

Keep in mind that when you attend your screening, your provider may suggest additional services which Medicare may not cover. You may find that you may have additional financial responsibilities for any other tests or procedures above and beyond the initial covered test.

If you have a Medicare plan through an insurance company, call your company to determine whether you have any co-pay, co-insurance or deductible amounts you could be billed.

An Ounce of Prevention

These covered Medicare preventive screenings and tests play a powerful role in helping you stay healthy, independent and active well into this time of your life. You’ve worked hard for many years to obtain your Medicare health benefits. Empower yourself to know these extra perks from Medicare and do take advantage of them.

Schedule your Medicare test or screening as soon as you can – it may just help save your life!

Join the Conversation:

What preventive Medicare benefits have you used? Was there a time when a medical issue you experienced was caught early through a preventive test or screening, and how did that make a difference in your life? What advice or encouragement would you suggest to other women who may be “appointment-shy” when scheduling these benefits?

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