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Ariana Madix’s Lime Green Cutout Gown

Amanda Batula’s Sleeveless Fur Vest and Sunglasses

Lindsay Hubbard’s White Cardigan and Balloon Pants Confessional

Madison LeCroy’s Blue Plaid Cutout Dress

Naomie Olindo’s Striped Tank Top and Pants Set

Madison LeCroy’s Blue and White Floral Print Top and Skirt

Lindsay Hubbard’s Yellow Cutout Top and Glasses

Stassi Schroeder’s Pink Fringe Midi Dress

Madison LeCroy’s Black Lace Trim Short Set

The Valley Season 3 Episode 13 Fashion

Originally posted at: Tamra Judge’s Brown Satin Lace Asymmetric Tank

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Also Seen on Wendy Osefo

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Ariana Madix’s Lime Green Cutout Gown

Amanda Batula’s Sleeveless Fur Vest and Sunglasses

Lindsay Hubbard’s White Cardigan and Balloon Pants Confessional

Madison LeCroy’s Blue Plaid Cutout Dress

Naomie Olindo’s Striped Tank Top and Pants Set

Madison LeCroy’s Blue and White Floral Print Top and Skirt

Lindsay Hubbard’s Yellow Cutout Top and Glasses

Stassi Schroeder’s Pink Fringe Midi Dress

Madison LeCroy’s Black Lace Trim Short Set

The Valley Season 3 Episode 13 Fashion

Originally posted at: Tamra Judge’s Red Collared Button Front Dress

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Gaining weight after 60 is easy, isn’t it? I have my own reasons for that: stress eating on top of a low thyroid Hashimoto’s condition. Add in a month of COVID (in 2026!), breaking my leg when my dog ran after a squirrel, and just for fun, I had a heart ablation that went wrong, very wrong. Then there was the cataract surgery by a doctor who assured me she never makes mistakes, then melted my cornea. Oh, and then I broke my wrist two days before I was to record my new solo piano album. Let’s not forget that for two years of tendonitis, my heels felt like I had an arrow stuck in both of them.

Food Helped Reduce My Stress, Or So I Thought

With all that sitting around, it seemed like a good time to write my memoir as a professional singer. Due to my Dutch upbringing, when I take on a project, I’m relentless. My butt was in the chair for four months while I wrote 195,506 words. One publisher said, “That must be some kind of record.” She did not mean the kind that plays on a turntable. With the writing, researching, editing, and eating to stay awake, I felt like I was spinning round and round, becoming rounder and rounder. I finally decided to turn the tables and get serious about the size of me, all of me.

My endocrinologist begged me to go on GLP-1s. He gave me a six-week Ozempic sample to try. I set the red box on my kitchen counter. I thought about it and concluded that with my medical conditions, I was not going to inject myself with this “medicine.”

Yet, Something Had to Be Done

I found a new doctor who improved my thyroid function. I started my weight loss program with a liver cleanse to get things moving better. Pasta, bread, white potatoes, white rice, and sugar were eliminated. I’m already alcohol, red meat, gluten, and dairy-free. But giving up that chocolate was disheartening. I set the rules: no food after 6 pm and in bed by 10:30 pm. That first month was tough, but I got the hang of things. Half portions only, salad plate only, and four small meals a day, so I’m never hungry. Now that my heels are better, my dog takes me for brisk walks twice a day.

My Secret Power Has Been the Red Ozempic Box

Every time see it on the counter, it taunts me, “You’re not that hungry, are you, Darlene? Don’t eat too much, or I will have to poke you and mess with your digestive system.” The red box reminder works every time. I’ve lost 42 pounds in 6 months and have another 30 to go. When anyone asked how I did it, I told them, “The Red Box Diet.”

Last week I had my six-month check-up with my cardiologist. He seemed impressed with my losses: weight down 42 pounds, cholesterol down 83 points. He asked, “You did it with GLP-1s, right?” “Nope, just the box,” I explained. He said, “You mean the medicine is still in the box?” “Yup, unopened,” I said. He laughed a lot, “I’ve never heard of such a thing. That’s got to be the most impressive use of discipline ever.”

I mentioned my Dutch Calvinist roots, which account for my determination. I also showed him my memoir, Put Your Dress Down and Sing, and explained that its central message is, “To change your feelings, you must take action. It is in the taking of action that one finds new feelings, hope, and courage to accomplish one’s goals.” He liked that. I thanked him for encouraging me. Who doesn’t need a little support now and then?

I’ve moved from the obese zone into the overweight zone. Yay! I will achieve my goal with the support of my doctors and my little red box! When it’s time to get something done, just get to it, or as my mother once told me, “Darlene, put your dress down and sing!”

Join the Conversation:

What has been your red box diet? Have you been able to maintain discipline in such a way that you achieve your goals?

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Top Posts

Ariana Madix’s Lime Green Cutout Gown

Amanda Batula’s Sleeveless Fur Vest and Sunglasses

Lindsay Hubbard’s White Cardigan and Balloon Pants Confessional

Madison LeCroy’s Blue Plaid Cutout Dress

Naomie Olindo’s Striped Tank Top and Pants Set

Madison LeCroy’s Blue and White Floral Print Top and Skirt

Lindsay Hubbard’s Yellow Cutout Top and Glasses

Stassi Schroeder’s Pink Fringe Midi Dress

Madison LeCroy’s Black Lace Trim Short Set

The Valley Season 3 Episode 13 Fashion

Originally posted at: Gina Kirschenheiter’s Brown Long Coat and Mesh Top

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Have you ever noticed how just a few notes of music can transport you back decades?

Perhaps it’s the song you danced to on your wedding day. The lullaby you sang to your children. The music that played during your first love, your greatest adventure, or one of life’s most difficult moments.

Within seconds, music can make us smile, cry, feel nostalgic or suddenly experience emotions we thought had long disappeared.

Most of us simply accept this as one of life’s little mysteries. But what if music is doing far more than stirring memories? What if it is quietly influencing our brains, our nervous systems and even our physical health?

As a doctor, I have become increasingly fascinated by this question.

Ancient Wisdom Meets Modern Science

For thousands of years, every culture has used music during healing rituals. Long before hospitals, MRI scanners or modern medicine, music accompanied birth, death, celebration, grief, prayer and healing.

Our ancestors didn’t think of music simply as entertainment. They understood it as something that could soothe, strengthen and restore. Somewhere along the rise of modern medicine, however, music became something pleasant rather than therapeutic – an enjoyable extra rather than something that might actively support health.

Today, science is beginning to revisit that ancient wisdom.

A New Generation of Research

One researcher who particularly caught my attention is Dr. Mei Rui at MD Anderson Cancer Center in Texas – one of the world’s leading cancer hospitals.

Rather than asking whether people simply enjoy listening to music, Dr. Rui is asking a much bigger question:

Can music produce measurable biological changes?

Her team is currently conducting a clinical trial involving patients preparing for brain surgery for cancer.

Researchers are comparing live music, recorded music and standard medical care while measuring stress, anxiety, pain, heart rate, blood pressure, cortisol (our major stress hormone) and inflammatory markers.

In other words, music is no longer being viewed simply as something that makes people feel better. It is being studied as something that may measurably influence how the body responds to stress.

That is a remarkable shift.

Looking Inside the Brain

Dr. Rui has also studied one of the most stressed groups of professionals imaginable: surgeons.

Using sophisticated brain scans, heart rate variability, sleep monitoring and burnout questionnaires, her team explored how listening to carefully selected music over several weeks influenced brain function and wellbeing.

Although this was an early pilot study involving a relatively small number of participants, it demonstrated that scientists can objectively study how music affects brain connectivity, physiological stress and emotional regulation. The findings are encouraging and point the way for much larger studies in the future.

Modern medicine is beginning to look inside the brain and ask questions that previous generations simply could not investigate.

Why This Matters as We Age

One thing I have noticed in my work is that many women become wonderfully intentional about caring for their health as they get older.

We pay attention to our nutrition.

We walk more.

We practise yoga.

We meditate.

We prioritise sleep.

Yet many of us overlook one of the simplest resources available to us every day.

Music.

Emerging research suggests that music may influence many of the systems that become increasingly important as we age, including:

• our stress response
• emotional wellbeing
• sleep quality
• heart rate variability
• memory and attention
• nervous system regulation

Music is not replacing medication or medical treatment.

But perhaps it deserves a place alongside the healthy habits that support our wellbeing.

Music Is More Than Entertainment

Think about the role music already plays in your own life.

When we’re grieving, we often turn to music.

When we’re celebrating, there is music.

When we’re exercising, travelling, relaxing or reflecting, music is often there too.

Even people living with advanced dementia, who may struggle to recognise family members, can often remember songs from decades earlier.

That tells us something extraordinary.

Music reaches places that words sometimes cannot.

Five Simple Ways to Let Music Support Your Wellbeing

You don’t need expensive equipment or specialist knowledge to begin using music more intentionally.

Here are a few simple ideas:

Create a Calming Playlist

Choose music that helps your body relax after a busy day.

Have an Uplifting Morning Playlist

Start the day with music that lifts your mood and energises you.

Listen with Intention

Instead of having music playing in the background, spend 10 minutes doing nothing except listening.

Sing

Even if you’re convinced you can’t sing, your nervous system doesn’t care whether you’re on key.

Pair Music with Slow Breathing

Even taking a few slow breaths while listening to calming music can help settle your nervous system.

My Own Perspective

For years I hesitated to describe music as medicine. Medicine, after all, was something prescribed. Something measurable.

Now, watching neuroscience evolve, I find myself thinking differently.

Perhaps music has not suddenly become medicine. Perhaps science has finally developed the tools to measure what humans have always intuitively known.

That music changes us.

Not only emotionally.

But biologically.

Final Thoughts

We cannot stop ourselves from growing older. But we can continue to nurture our minds, calm our nervous systems and create moments of joy. Sometimes that begins with a walk. Sometimes with a conversation. Sometimes with simply taking a deep breath.

And sometimes…

All it takes is pressing play.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

Have you ever been prescribed listening to music as a stress-relief? Or as sleep solution? What do you use music for – background or intention?

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This article is not perfect. I hope it’s good, interesting, informative, and maybe even a little thought-provoking, but it’s not perfect. And that’s a great thing. Because for most of my life, I was a consummate perfectionist. Had I written this article even 10 years ago, I would have rewritten it three times, edited it 10, changed it entirely, and then asked other people’s opinions to make sure it was okay.

Imperfection Is All Around

One of the greatest gifts of growing older is discovering that perfectionism is an exhausting burden to carry. Self-criticism, fear of failure, people-pleasing, comparison, and insecurity can be debilitating and emotionally draining and, when taken too far, can even lead to anxiety and depression.

The truth is, no matter how hard we try to be, do, or live perfectly, we will never be perfect. We are imperfect humans living in an imperfect world. Letting go of the belief that we must be flawless in everything we do is incredibly freeing. Perhaps that is one of aging’s greatest gifts. It’s not that we care less. It’s that we care more about what truly matters – and let go of the rest.

For many of us, perfectionism begins long before we recognize it. It simply changes its face as we move through life.

The Good Girl

Mine began as a safety net. I learned to be the “Good Girl” so as not to rock the boat in a somewhat dysfunctional family. Love and praise were tied directly to being quiet, obedient, and doing exactly what my parents asked of me.

If you grew up in a household filled with conflict, unpredictability, criticism, alcoholism, emotional volatility, favoritism, abuse, or simply a lot of tension, being the good girl may have become your strategy for staying safe.

School often reinforced those lessons. We were rewarded with gold stars for good grades and praised for being compliant, polite, quiet, and staying out of trouble.

Perfectionism at this stage was driven by fear – fear of failure, fear of criticism, fear of disappointing others, or simply fear of not measuring up. I often refused to try new things or gave up before I even started because I didn’t want to make a mistake. My self-esteem suffered. I felt like I was never good enough, and I constantly sought reassurance, often not believing it, even when it was given.

Rebel Stage

Then came college and a short – but wonderfully satisfying – “Rebel” period. As a child of the 60s, I tried (perfectly) to be imperfect. I thumbed my nose at convention, rejected mainstream values, marched for causes, dated the men my father hated, and dressed in ways that made my mother cringe. I was a hippie. I lived in my bubble of peace and love. I had finally begun to find my independence and my voice.

Or so I thought.

The Achiever

Then I entered the workforce and became “The Achiever.”

Ambitious, hungry, and motivated, I constantly chased – you guessed it – perfection. I wanted to impress my bosses, to be smarter, more creative, more visible, and indispensable. The Good Girl had evolved into a people-pleaser, and it was exhausting.

Was I accomplished? Absolutely. Did I succeed in my many careers? Yes.

But at what cost?

Despite my success, I also struggled with imposter syndrome. I doubted myself, questioned my worth, and lived with the nagging fear of being exposed as a fraud. Ironically, those fears only made me work harder.

On to the Caretaker

For many women, another face of perfectionism soon appeared: “The Caretaker.”

Whether we married, raised children, cared for aging parents, or simply became the one everyone depended on, perfectionism often disguised itself as selflessness.

Many women of our generation were expected to be the perfect wife, have the perfect husband and children, live in the perfect white-picket-fence house, host perfect dinner parties, and always look just right while juggling a million balls in the air. The Good Girl, the People-Pleaser, and the Achiever simply put on another mask, and in the process, many of us slowly lost ourselves.

Selfless perfectionism looked like a virtue.

But what happens when excellence becomes exhaustion?

What happens when serving everyone else means losing ourselves?

For me, the Caretaker eventually took a different turn. This became a period of disappointing love affairs, but also one of tremendous growth. Living alone gave me the chance to explore who I was and what truly made me happy. I chose many careers, moved across the country, and eventually expatriated to Ecuador simply because I could. I didn’t have to ask permission. I didn’t have to worry about what others thought. I could be myself and take chances.

Was it perfect?

No.

Did I have a pretty great life?

Without a doubt.

Finally, The Wise Woman

If we’re fortunate, our later years introduce us to one final face: “The Wise Woman.”

This is where real freedom begins.

We realize we were never perfect, no matter how hard we tried. Instead of striving to be an ideal, we choose to be kind, funny, compassionate, loving, authentic, and present. Our best becomes enough, and we feel just fine with that.

This is not to say we don’t care. We do – probably more than ever – because we recognize how precious life is. We still care deeply about the people we love, the projects we undertake, and the legacy we hope to leave behind. But the pressure to prove ourselves begins to fade. We no longer feel the need to earn perfection or approval. Instead, we search for meaning, authenticity, passion, and joy. Ironically, when we stop trying so hard to be perfect, we often become the very best version of ourselves.

What aging has given many of us is not less, but more – more compassion, more perspective, more authenticity, and above all, more grace.

Who are we when no one is grading us?

Who do we choose to be when we no longer feel compelled to earn our worth?

Perhaps, for the first time, we begin to truly love ourselves – with all our imperfections.

We discover that the warrior within has lived through all five faces: the Good Girl, the Rebel, the Achiever, the Caretaker, and finally, the Wise Woman.

And perhaps that is the greatest gift of aging.

One day, we stop asking, “Am I enough?” Because we’ve finally discovered the answer: “I was always enough.”

Questions for You:

Have you been through the 5 faces described in the article? Which face have you seen in the mirror recently? Do you think it’s time to be happy with your own (im)perfect reflection?

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