I’m writing this from a Downton Abbey-style bed and breakfast on Prince Edward Island, Canada, perched in a sunny room with a view of the sea. The window beside me frames the water. The sun is shining. I can hear the wind through the trees. I’ve taken two long baths this week and even snuck in a nap or two.
I’m on day six of my first trip since retiring – testing out what a peaceful new lifestyle might actually feel like. By all accounts, I should be basking in serenity.
And I am.
But I’m also… a little restless.
How much rest does this girl really need?
I didn’t expect to feel like this so soon. But here I am, surrounded by beauty and calm, already craving something more.
Turns out, peace is wonderful – but it’s not the whole picture.
The Surprising Truth About “Calm”
When we think about retirement – especially as women who’ve spent decades working, caregiving, and juggling color-coded calendars – peace and quiet sound like the ultimate reward. We imagine long walks, slow mornings, maybe finally getting to that stack of books by the bed…
And for a while, it’s glorious.
But here’s what no one tells you: peace and quiet aren’t enough.
Even with a spectacular view and no to-do list, I give in to the urge to open my laptop – to write and connect with women like you who might be feeling what I’m feeling. That means delaying the day’s adventures and leaving my husband to entertain himself – which, let’s be honest, isn’t exactly a hardship. He’s absorbed listening to the BBC’s commentary of the England–India cricket test match and positively delighted that I’ve given in to writing. And here I am, happily typing away.
I realize something important:
I don’t miss the meetings or deadlines. But I do miss feeling intellectually engaged. I miss purpose.
What the Research Says: We Need More Than Stillness
Yes, quiet time is good for us – really good. It helps regulate our nervous system, lower stress, and support our mental health. Even a few minutes of stillness each day can boost our mood and help us reset after decades of nonstop motion.
But that’s not the whole story.
Research also shows that purpose and engagement are essential to our long-term well-being, especially in retirement. People with a strong sense of meaning tend to live longer, experience less depression, and maintain better brain health.
And here’s something I find especially striking:
A Canadian study found that women who plan for both the financial and lifestyle aspects of retirement – not just the money, but how they want to live – report much greater satisfaction later on.
In other words: planning for fulfillment matters.
That’s one reason I focus my coaching work on helping women design the lifestyle side of retirement – so they can step into this next chapter with clarity, rhythm, and joy.
That’s also why I created a 5-step guide to help women begin thinking about what fulfillment might look like now.
Rest is important. But so is purpose – especially in retirement, when many women find themselves wondering, “What now?”
How Much Calm Is Your Right Amount?
That research makes me reflect on what fulfillment really looks like for me. And the answer changes from day to day. But more often than not, it starts here…
In my purple recliner – the one tucked in the corner of my bedroom. In the winter, I love to wake up before the sun rises, light some candles, balance my computer (and my cat) on my lap, drink my coffee, and write, journal, and meditate.
It’s peaceful and grounding. But it’s also full of intention.
That chair is where I feel most like myself. And that’s what we’re really looking for in retirement – right? Not just rest, but reconnection.
You Get to Decide What This Next Chapter Looks Like
Maybe you love reading in bed all morning. Maybe you crave lively conversations or creative projects. Maybe you want to learn something completely new – just because you can. Maybe you want to volunteer most days.
Whatever your mix of calm and stimulation looks like, that’s the right amount for you.
What Does Purpose Look Like Now?
As I shared in my first article, “The Secret to Finding Purpose in Retirement? Start Smaller Than You Think,” purpose doesn’t have to mean launching a nonprofit or writing a memoir (though seriously – go for it if that’s your calling!).
Sometimes purpose is small, beautiful, and fleeting:
- Smiling at five people you pass on your walk.
- Listening to a friend who’s having a hard time.
- Mentoring someone just starting out.
- Learning to watercolor or speak Italian.
The point is: your purpose in retirement doesn’t have to be grand. It just has to be yours.
Curious What Fulfillment Might Look Like for You?
If you’ve ever found yourself thinking, “I don’t know exactly what I want – but I know I want something more,” you’re not alone.
I hear that from so many women. That quiet tug toward meaning… and the uncertainty about where to begin.
If that resonates, I’d love to share a free resource with you: Design Your Bold Next Chapter. Inside, you’ll find five thoughtful steps to help you start imagining a retirement that feels energizing, joyful, and uniquely yours.
Retirement isn’t the end of purpose. It’s the beginning of choosing yourself.
Let’s make it count.
Let’s Start a Conversation:
Where do you feel most calm, connected, or grounded in your day? How are you balancing rest and purpose in your life right now? If you could design your ideal rhythm – what would it include?
