What is the language of love? Would you know it if you heard it?
From movies, books, and personal relationships to the commercialism of Valentine’s Day, no generation before ours had ever been exposed to such a wide range of expressions of love.
In all of the ways we are exposed to different styles of the language of love, rarely are we shown what it sounds or feels like to lovingly speak to our own selves.
In this article, and the accompanying video, we are going to address the following:
- Why it is so difficult to lovingly speak to ourselves after 60.
- The three most important things to pay attention to when it comes to the language of love.
- The best time and place to develop your own personal language of love.
Why the Language of Love Is Uncomfortable
Growing up we all received guidance on how to treat people kindly and how to talk respectfully to those we cared about. Few of us, however, were taught the importance of loving self-talk, let alone how to do it.
We were also taught to place other’s needs above our own, believing this was how we express our love. This left little time to honor our selves.
All of this added to an awkwardness about how to lovingly care for our well-being let alone how to lovingly speak to ourselves from within.
Our Own Language of Love
As our generation grew into adulthood, our desire for loving relationships increased. Along the way, we unconsciously developed our own unique language of love.
This language included, but was not limited to, the words we used, the tone, our intentions, and also how we responded to specific types of loving language that was spoken to us.
Speaking lovingly with those we care about is one thing. But learning to lovingly speak to our own selves, was something else altogether.
Now that we are over 60, how can we move beyond feeling uncomfortable lovingly speaking to ourselves? And what can we do to develop an inner language of love that nurtures, empowers, and honors the beautiful person we are today?
Observe Your Inner Dialogue
Speaking to yourself lovingly and respectfully is the foundation of self-love. Your own personal language of love is also essential to any self-care practice you engage in.
If you find yourself struggling with self-love and engaging in self-care practices, there is one thing you can do right now to radically love more of who you are.
Observe your inner dialogue so you can change what is not serving you.
This is where you develop your own unique inner language of love after 60.
What gets in the way of this?
As we have covered in previous articles, limiting beliefs about self-love are toxic.
This goes for the stories many people tell themselves about how unworthy they are to give and receive love. These beliefs and stories keep you locked into unhealthy dialogue with yourself.
Another common obstacle is an overly busy life.
Maintaining an active lifestyle after 60 is paramount to our well-being. But most people are so overwhelmed and busy they ignore how they are speaking to themselves.
In fact, negative inner dialogue goes on so often it is accepted as normal and unchangeable. It is not normal, and it can be changed.
How to Shift from Negative Self-Talk
When you are feeling rushed, overwhelmed, angry, resentful, anxious, or unworthy about life and love these are moments to slow down.
Give yourself some space to feel the love of your authentic self. This is where you shift from negative self-talk to the language of love.
The language of love is different for each of us. There are, however, three common things to pay attention to that universally work.
- Speak to yourself in a loving tone and with encouraging words.
- Consciously pay attention to how you feel as you observe inner and outer dialogue along with behavioral patterns that are loving and kind.
- Contrast those to dialogue and behaviors that are critical, fearful and carry a doubtful nature about love, life, and yourself.
The Best Time and Place for the Language of Love
Your personal language of love can be nurtured and developed by observing how you respond to your inner desires to love yourself when you are alone.
One of the most time honored and proven methods for observing how you speak to yourself is through journaling.
Other examples include opportunities to engage in self-love and self-care practices without guilt, shame, or feeling you are not being productive.
This also includes responding to impulses to spontaneously do something that will light you up.
Ultimately, the best time and place for the language of love is in the now of nows.
Please join me in the video above this article where I share additional insights and guide you through three thought-provoking journal prompts.
Let’s Have a Conversation:
Do you love yourself? Do you express this love? How have you developed your own language of love? Please share in the comments.
