We have just passed through all the big holidays, ending with New Year’s Eve/New Year’s Day. At the end of the year, many of us like to have some time for reflection, not just of the past year but often over our lives in general. When we do, it’s easy to feel discouraged: we see our shortcomings, the mistakes, the failures, the disappointments. If you’re like me, you may sometimes wonder if you’ve ever really accomplished anything worthwhile at all.
It’s an Ordinary Life
My family has the tradition of watching the Jimmy Stewart film, It’s a Wonderful Life every holiday season. It’s a feel-good movie where the main character, who feels like a failure and wishes he’d never been born, is shown by an “angel” what the world would have been like if he hadn’t been. In the end, the man realizes just how much his ordinary life has impacted the world and made it better.
Of course, this is just a fictional story. It’s good as a tear-jerker and for a warm feeling at the end, but is there any existential truth in it for those of us toiling along in real life?
A True Story of an Otherwise Ordinary Life
When doing research recently for a book, I came across an interesting story – the stuff of fiction, but actually true. John Howland was a passenger on the Mayflower who came over as an indentured servant. He was nobody important – at all.
Halfway across the Atlantic, during a violent storm, he was washed overboard. There is no good reason why he didn’t drown. A friend of mine, who is a retired Navy chaplain, says that even with our modern life-saving equipment, when someone is washed overboard, especially during a storm, you can assume they are “gone.”
But somehow the sailors, who didn’t even like the Pilgrims, found a way to save him. He went on to also survive the terrible first winter when half of the passengers died. He married and had 10 children, all of whom lived and gave him a total of 88 grandchildren!
But that’s not the most remarkable part. If he had drowned, he would have taken with him all his future descendants, the list of whom contains many notable individuals: Emerson, Longfellow, Humphrey Bogart, three U.S. presidents including FDR, and so many others. Because he survived and then thrived in the New World, his two younger brothers, also indentured servants initially, came over and found success. One brother’s descendant was another U.S. president and the other brother’s descendant was Winston Churchill (whose mother was American). Remove FDR and Winston Churchill from World War II, and how might history have been different?
A true story which demonstrates the impact of a single ordinary life.
Another Significant Story
I like to reflect on the life of John Howland’s mother, Margaret, as well. She lived a life of grinding poverty in Fenstanton, England, where she bore and raised 13 children. I’m confident she never dreamed she would one day have five descendants listed on the Smithsonian’s 2015 list of 100 Most Significant Americans of All Times.
For those of us with children (and grandchildren), we likely will never know what our future descendants may achieve. But even for those of us who haven’t contributed to “the furtherance of the race,” we have undoubtedly influenced others for good (or ill, but hopefully the former!) where the ripples will be felt in future generations.
You Did It!
We may be aware of certain instances where this was the case. I recently received a message from someone I had encouraged several years ago following an extended and very tough caregiving situation. I was stunned when she told me she still draws strength from the three simple words, “You did it!” I said to her.
How many times, I wonder, have I been touched or helped by someone and haven’t thanked them? Or where a wise word or insight shared by someone I hardly know or have lost touch with, comes to mind just when I need it? I believe that all of us have helped and touched others in countless ways we will never know.
Individually, Nobody Is Important
Margaret Howland wasn’t an important person. John Howland wasn’t an important person. The sailors weren’t important people. And yet, they were all important people. And therein lies the hidden value of our own ordinary lives.
Very few of us have a true perspective on the value of our lives in the big picture. Let us stop our focus on our shortcomings and disappointments as we marvel instead that we exist, and all the gifts we have undoubtedly brought to this world, known and unknown. Let us continue to do our best in whatever situation we find ourselves. And let us strive to be kind to others in every way we can.
Reflection Question:
In what ways do you consider your life ordinary? Have you ever wondered about the bigger picture and where you fall in it? Have you thanked anyone whose life impacted you in significant ways? What about the other way around?
