When women tell me they’re “not good with money,” they don’t say it lightly.
They say it with the weight of decades behind it, stories of financial ups and downs, cultural messages about what women “should” be like, and shame that has quietly taken root over time.
But here’s the truth: being “good with money” isn’t real. It’s a myth that has held so many women back from building the financial confidence they deserve.
Jan’s Story
Jan, 69, spent her entire adult life believing she wasn’t “good with money.” Her husband had always handled the bills, the savings, the investments. She managed the household, raised the kids, and worked part-time, but when it came to anything with a dollar sign attached, she stayed on the sidelines.
When her husband passed away, she inherited not just their accounts, but a lifetime of doubt. She was intelligent, capable, and resourceful, but that old story played on a loop in her head: “You’re not good with money.”
She told me, “I feel like I’m already behind, like I should have known this decades ago.”
Sound familiar?
Where the Myth Comes From
The idea of being “good with money” is rarely about actual skill. It’s usually about:
Early Messages
Many women grew up hearing that men handle finances and women handle the home.
Cultural Narratives
For years, ads, banks, and workplaces sent the same message: “This isn’t your domain.”
Perfectionism
If you make a mistake, it “proves” you’re not good at it. But if you do well, it’s “just luck.” Add to this the idea that in order to be safe, we have to be perfect… it all adds up.
Lack of Safe Practice
If you were never invited into financial decision-making, how would you build practice and confidence?
This myth isn’t just wrong, it’s dangerous. It convinces capable, smart women to sit on the sidelines of their own financial lives.
Why the Myth Hits Hard After 60
For many women, their 60s bring massive financial transitions: retirement, widowhood, caregiving, downsizing, supporting adult children.
In these moments, old stories can feel louder than ever. Instead of seeing what they can learn and build now, many women freeze, because the myth whispers: “It’s too late for you.”
That voice is a lie.
You’re not “bad” with money. You’re simply new to parts of it you weren’t encouraged, or allowed, to touch.
How the “Good with Money” Myth Shows Up
You might not say the words out loud, but here’s how it often sounds in everyday life:
- “I’m just not a numbers person.”
- “I don’t want to mess it up.”
- “I wish I’d been better with money when I was younger.”
- “I can’t learn this stuff now.”
These aren’t signs of incompetence. They’re signs of internalized narratives.
The Real Skill That Matters: Trusting Yourself
The goal isn’t to become some flawless financial expert overnight. The real power lies in learning to trust yourself with money decisions.
That means:
- Giving yourself permission to ask “beginner” questions.
- Knowing you can learn new skills at any age.
- Believing your financial future isn’t defined by your past.
- Making choices that reflect your values, not someone else’s expectations.
A Simple Tool: Rewriting the Script
Next time you hear yourself say “I’m not good with money,” try this short, powerful exercise:
- Catch the script: Notice the moment the thought shows up.
- Name the myth: Say (aloud or in your head), “That’s the old story talking.”
- Replace it with a truth: For example:
- “I’m learning to trust myself with money.”
- “I can learn new skills at any age.”
- “I’ve done hard things before, I can do this, too.”
This isn’t about toxic positivity. It’s about interrupting a narrative that isn’t serving you anymore.
Small Actions That Build Confidence
Confidence isn’t something you wait for, it’s something you build.
A few small steps that can help:
- Open and read one statement or bill you’ve been avoiding.
- Ask one question about something you don’t fully understand.
- Make one money decision, no matter how small.
- Talk openly with someone safe about your financial hopes or fears.
Each small act builds evidence that you can trust yourself.
Letting Go of “Good” or “Bad”
You don’t have to be “good with money.”
You just need to be in relationship with your money. To know where it is, what it’s doing, and how it aligns with your needs (or doesn’t).
The myth of “good or bad” keeps people frozen. Real power comes from curiosity, care, and courage.
Closing Thoughts
If you’ve carried the “I’m not good with money” story for years, or decades, you’re not broken, behind, or too late.
You’re just ready to write a new chapter.
Want to learn more about rewriting money stories and healing financial shame? Read more here.
Let’s Have a Conversation:
What money myth have you been influenced by? Does it still resurface now and then? How do you counter it?
