As we enter our 50s, many of us begin to take a serious look at our lives. What are we doing for our careers or jobs and is this what we want to continue to do? Or maybe we’ve been stay-at-home moms and are figuring out what’s next now that our kids are gone and we are faced with empty nests.
We often take a serious look at our health habits and want to make changes. We may look at relationships and friendships and decide to invest more time in those as we get older.
Many of us at this juncture are wanting to take time each day to find and do the thing that brings us joy.
As you embark on this journey – figuring out what’s next AND taking the steps needed to make it happen, there are three things to be ready for along the way. For some of us, these can be hurdles.
After going through each of them, I see them now as opportunities for growth along the way.
Boundaries May Need to be Set Along the Way
As you begin to reflect on what you’d like to be doing each day and how you’d like your life to look, it’s helpful to first consider what your values and priorities are currently.
Although our values don’t always significantly change as a function of our age, our priorities often do! My husband and grown kids are always a priority for me, but they don’t need me on a daily basis as they had in the past. So, I’m able to prioritize myself more than I have at any other time in my life.
And, I’ve had to set boundaries with people who don’t respect that. It’s not been easy to do, but it’s been beneficial for my own emotional health and ultimately my relationships with the people involved.
Sometimes those boundaries are internal ones. We often struggle to tell people “no” when they ask us to do something. But, what I’ve realized, is that when I say “yes” to someone or something who is not a priority, I’ve ended up saying “no” to someone who is.
And that doesn’t work for me in this phase of life.
Sometimes the Journey Can’t Be Done Alone
If you find that fear, anxiety, negative core beliefs, or anything else is stopping you from pursuing those things that bring you joy, seek help! In whatever form that might look like for you, including:
- Life coaches;
- Counselors;
- Friends;
- Communities of like-minded people who share your interest and are doing the things that you want to be doing.
It is completely normal to feel resistance when you begin to step outside your status quo. But it’s a shame to let this interfere with you doing the things that you want to be doing.
Don’t be afraid to reach out to someone who can mentor you along the way if needed.
Dream Big – Don’t Censor Yourself
Often, when the women in my community are working on my workbooks or reflecting on what an ideal day might look like, they censor themselves. For example, someone may start to picture an ideal day and incorporate travel around the world as a part of that. And then, they may stop themselves, saying, “That’s silly. That’s never going to happen. I’m not going to even write that down.”
And from there, their ideal day brainstorming is completely squelched.
Don’t censor yourself. Journal it all. Write it all down. The woman in the example may not travel the world. But this thought might lead her to plan shorter day or weekend trips throughout her year. It might lead her to exploring fun things to do in her local area.
Or maybe she’ll travel the world!
Censoring yourself robs you of being able to examine the trends in what you want from life as you move forward. Let the thoughts flow. They can lead you places when you don’t stop them.
Setting boundaries, not censoring yourself, and seeking help when needed can all be very big steps. But they are all opportunities for immense growth as we reflect on what we’d like our lives to look like on this side of 50.
Let’s Have a Conversation:
Are you looking to make some life changes on this side of 50 or 60? Do you anticipate places or people where boundaries may need to be set? How easy or difficult is it for you to seek out help along the way?
