To feel like a queen requires neither a palace nor servants nor a big bank account. It simply means to be fully supported by the space you call your home.
Within her home, the queen has all she needs to be the best version of herself. She is the sovereign commander over her empire, from ground to ceiling.
The queen strives for the best yet is fully relaxed about the outcome. She knows who she is. She is not needy for external recognition. As a queen, she stands in her own bright light.
Does your home make you feel like a queen? Are you the commander of your realm? If not fully (yet), try these 3 inspirations and many tips on a budget.
1. Stand in Your Brightest Light. Upgrade Your Royal Smile
In terms of light sources, the famous design principle “less is more” fails completely. With light, MORE is MORE.
Place light in every corner of every room. Yes, every corner. An abundance of light sources upgrades your home territory significantly. It creates the empowering stage set for the queen in you.
What Kind of Light Sources?
Mainly mobile light sources such as table or floor lamps. Yes, you may skip ceiling light fixtures or suspension lights.
Should your home have royal light optimizing potential (meaning you don’t have enough light sources yet), there are 2 ways to approach this enlightening project:
If the queenly budget allows for “the sky is the limit” shopping, congratulations and go for it. If the budget is a natural concern: YES, YOU CAN STILL DO IT.
Light Sources on a Budget
- Shop at thrift stores, Craigslist, exchange or no-cost stores. The selection may be limited, and you may not get an expensive designer piece for free or at a great discount. But that’s OK because the first concern is with the light source, not the design.
- Shop at home! Or at someone else’s. Your attic or basement (or someone else’s) may hold forgotten treasures, all ready to assist in boosting the queen’s enlightenment.
If You Don’t Like the Light Sources You’ve Got
- Change whatever you can change. Take the lamp shade off, just use the fixture with the light bulb. Or create your own lamp shade. Keep what you’ve got (for lighting purposes) and continue looking for light sources that better fit your taste. They will show up.
- Quick fix or first aid for a not-so-terribly-attractive lamp: Hide it behind a plant, a bookshelf, a chair, the prince consort or any other larger object.
True Story: Gloria
Gloria attended my “Fix your Home, Fix your Life” workshop. A former model, with no new job offer in sight for quite a while. Gloria was sad, broke, lonely, disappointed and had put on considerable weight. She complained about not being seen by anyone anymore.
This is how she described her entrance area in a conversation we had:
“There is only one ceiling light. The light bulb has been broken for months. I have not replaced it.”
“Why not,” I asked.
“Because there is a mirror in the entry area, and I don’t want to see myself being overweight. Also, on the wall, there is a beautiful runway photograph from my model days in Paris. When I look at it, I cry. I feel that I have lost everything. So, it’s a good thing that the room is dark.”
“Isn’t it too dark, since there are no windows?”
“I don’t mind,” she replied. “I am used to it. Better than having to see the runway photo or my reflection in the mirror.”
In the course of the program, Gloria realized that darkening her present wouldn’t help her re-create the sparkling past that she was mourning over. Not to be able to see herself in full light reflected her situation in the outside world: She felt invisible.
From Invisible to “Framed in Gold”
Gloria was a smart queen. She replaced the broken light with a brighter one, put in two additional table lamps and replaced her superstar Paris photograph with a watercolour drawing by her little niece. Thus, Gloria exchanged the lost past for a resource of love in her current life. In the new light, she found out that she liked herself with her full curves.
Gloria went back to school. She started applying for side-jobs other than modelling. She proudly hung her graduation certificate in a gold frame next to her niece’s artwork. She now has a job in communications because she really likes speaking with people face-to-face.
Brighter, Larger, Happier
With light sources in every corner of your home, you will be amazed at the uplifting, cosy and abundant atmosphere. More light makes your queenly rooms smile and look larger than they are.
- A variety of light sources enables you to modulate the mood in every room for any time of day or night exactly as you wish. No need to turn every light on every time. By increasing your lighting options, you create a wider range of choices – metaphorically speaking as well. Isn’t this great news?
- The mobility of table and floor lamps helps you to adjust light sources to any specific occasion – whenever and wherever light sources are of service. Also, they are easy to move to another home.
- Unless it is a sparkling chandelier, a truly exquisite (heritage?) piece, or a thoughtfully designed built-in fixture, I recommend ditching ceiling lights. Do concentrate on corners.
- Neon lights are a no-no. Use LED lightbulbs to save money and energy. Enjoy candles in winter. They are great mood lifters and also help raise the room temperature.
The perfectly modulated light brings out the best in the queen on her own home stage. It boosts the healthy glow in the queen’s complexion and lets her power radiate out into the world.
2. Perfect Imperfection. Learn from a Shining Star: Cindy Crawford
The queen is not loved for being perfect. She is loved and appreciated for being true to herself. She dares to show her true colours, her soul’s beauty. The concept of imperfection does not disturb her inner peace.
DoesYour Home Look Like a Museum?
Is your house so perfectly arranged that a guest would feel that wherever they put their coat, bag, or themselves, they would inevitably destroy your state-of-the-art interior design equilibrium?
It’s not flawlessness or perfection that attracts us to other people. It’s the authentic, relaxed state of being, presented with grace. Make your home look lived in and liveable:
- Allow for diagonal settings. They bring in a dynamic feeling.
- No need to upholster every old armchair or sofa – as long as it is clean and smells OK. The bleached out charm of an old pattern may outshine the looks of a new one.
- Arrange chairs so they look off-placed, not rigid.
- Make that exquisite throw look like it has just been used for a cosy nap on the sofa.
- Let a beautiful old area rug unfold its unique history and character by visible signs of wear and tear. After all, you got a few wrinkles in your face – especially when you smile. They don’t take away your beauty. On the contrary, they are testimonials to your precious life journey and countless smiles. Also, people feel more welcome and comfortable walking on (or being surrounded by) objects with soul.
- Display a basket of fresh fruit on a table. Make it inviting for yourself – and guests to serve themselves – by placing napkins and plates next to it.
- Have a carafe of fresh water on a sideboard, ready with glasses. Many people prefer water at room temperature.
- Proudly let your own artwork (pottery, painting, etc.) be the shining star over your fireplace.
- Have a teapot (or a wine glass, or an open book with reading glasses) visible on a table, even when you’re not having tea.
Top model Cindy Crawford’s impeccable beauty became a unique trademark when she exposed the dark birthmark next to her mouth. Show your “flaws.” Make yourself and your guests feel welcome – and not an imposition to your perfect royal furniture arrangement.
3. Take Full Control Over Your Airspace. Up-Scent Your Home!
For practical reasons, a little sidestep to the prince consorts.
A study with male participants showed that cologne can boost male self-confidence to an amazing extent. After putting on expensive cologne, these men were photographed. Then, their photographs were shown to women who rated the images in terms of (sex) appeal.
Photographs of men without cologne were in the picture mix as well. Turned out that men with cologne were rated higher by women – without the women being exposed to the actual scent. Their judgement was strictly based on images.
The conclusion of the study: The cologne-induced high male self-esteem spoke through the photographs alone.
Sometimes, It Is the Invisible That Crowns Our Presence
Transfer the results of the above experiment to your queenly home:
- Increase your oxygen supply. Open all windows at least twice daily to bring in fresh air. Stale air is unpleasant and unhealthy. It makes a room feel stuffy and speaks of stagnation.
- Uplift your living room (or bathroom) with potted fragrant herbs: Fresh basil, rosemary, peppermint, salvia, lavender or the like. Potted herbs are very affordable and usually keep up longer than a flower arrangement. Plus: You get to use them in your kitchen!
- Display a bowl of oranges, lemons or other fruits with an intense fresh scent.
- Fill a diffuser with a pleasant fragrance. The scent of citrus fruits is said to work as an anti-depressant. Rosemary, sage and juniper are powerful disinfectants and smell wonderful. Cinnamon and cloves make for a cosy feeling in the winter months. Use only natural scents as artificial ones may give you a headache.
- Learn from real estate agents: They utilize the smell of freshly baked bread or cookies to make clients feel “at home” and encourage sales. Especially after returning from any longer absence, make yourself comfortable at your royal home by placing a batch of prebaked baguettes in the oven. Only 5 minutes will unfold the feel-good magic.
- Shop your kitchen spice rack: Bring a pot of water to boil, add orange peels, cloves and cinnamon bark. Enjoy the scent that will fill the air for hours to come. I learned this trick from my friend Tamar. She would boil cloves and cinnamon in water every time she prepared fish in her little studio apartment. It made the fish smell go away fast and outlasted it. (Well, most of the time…)
Scent Creates the Realm in Which the Queen Feels Unique
Feel-good fragrances boost our self-esteem – and that of our home: We attach ambient scents to the space we experience it in. This is why there is a whole industry of branding scents. Especially luxury brands or hotels use custom made signature scents to create a recognizable fragrance experience that their customers instantly feel “familiar” with.
What do we learn from luxury brands? A scent helps to discern us from the outside world.
- Do you have a signature scent, a favorite eau de cologne or parfum that speaks of you even after you have left a room? A special fragrance can derive from your favorite skin care. It embraces your personality like a precious cashmere shawl. You will be recognized by it.
- Your royal fragrance doesn’t need to be by Chanel or custom made for you. A high quality natural lavender, rose or juniper scent may create and crown your unique air space.
- Generously place your favorite fragrant soap bars in your wardrobe, your bed linen and towel cabinets etc. Every time you open cabinet doors or drawers, a lovely subtle scent will fill the air. The fragrance will also attach itself to your clothes, bed linen and towels, making them extra pleasurable to wear or use. Some fragrances (like lavender) even help to keep moths at a safe distance.
Remember that a feel-good scent creates the realm in which the queen feels unique and at her best, and is where she walks in grace.
Let’s Have a Discussion:
Have you felt the queen inside of you lately? Is your home your best stage set for the queen in you? Share your story. Let´s talk about what boosts our self-confidence.
