“Well, I guess I’ll be working till the day I die.”
I clearly remember the day in 2014 when I dryly and sarcastically spoke those words to my younger sister as the reality of what had just happened hit me across the face like a rock maple two by four. My dad had died a couple years earlier, and now my mother had died, but not before she and my sister had gone to the estate attorney to remove my name as beneficiary and essentially “steal” or reallocate my portion of my dad’s six-million-dollar estate.
I had been a stay-at-home mom to my two children, and when my husband left after 23 years of marriage in 1999, I received no alimony and I was too tired to fight for it. I started a new life at 42 years old with nothing more than my clothes and a few kitchen items. It seemed I lived in a state of perpetual financial survival mode in spite of my frugality.
So, that estate money was my retirement plan. Plan A.
The moment I spoke those words to my sister, I felt the full brunt of what it meant to be the black sheep of my family – the weight of it laid on my chest like a heavy wet blanket. I had paid the full price, and my mother had gotten in one final act of fury towards me.
I’ve tried to re-write this story several times, so it doesn’t sound so “victim-ish,” because I don’t consider myself a victim of anything. I’m a victor in every sense of the word, because I’m still standing and growing and learning. You just had to know the backstory before we go any further.
A Different Plan
What happens when your life plan doesn’t unfold the way you were told it would, or the way you expected? Let’s talk about what comes next without pretending it’s easy… or terrible.
Once I worked through the feelings of anger and betrayal, and ultimately chose forgiveness, there was a quiet resolve that my future would look far different than I had imagined. After all, I had planned to take cruises, volunteer at various non-profits, and enroll in educational and recreational classes. But, once I embraced radical acceptance, I needed a plan to move forward with dignity, not despair.
Plan B
One of the sayings my friends know me by is, always have a Plan B. After the dust settled from my mother’s death was the time to figure out what Plan B actually was. I hadn’t given much thought to what a Plan B might look like because before he died, my dad was obsessive about his estate and how iron-clad it was.
Now Plan B was staring me down, demanding that I give it my full attention.
First, I had to ask myself a few thoughtful questions. If you find yourself in a similar situation, you might want to write down your own answers.
- What does work mean to me at this stage of the game?
- How will I define success?
- What will my revised view of retirement be?
For me, work must be meaningful, not just bolstering the bottom line for a company. I define success as how much personal fulfillment I receive from my work and how much value I am adding to others.
Choosing Which Path to Take
Once you have the answers to the three questions above, you have the framework to put a plan in place. For many women over 60, autonomy and freedom are paramount. That said, you must decide if you want to remain in a traditional workplace or forge a path of your own via starting your own business.
According to an esourcecoach.com article on career ownership, “You Use Your Experience as an Asset: Instead of being seen as “too old” by employers, your years of knowledge become valuable in your own business. As an employee, the job market values you less as you get older. As a business owner, people value the experience you bring. There is no diminishing return.”
Second, based on the paragraph above, I want to reiterate that you have immense knowledge and skills as a woman over 60. Think about all the stuff you know! Whether you stayed home with the kids or have been in the workplace, you possess a plethora of skills that could benefit others. You could become a paid mentor, you could offer workshops or provide specialized skills through social media channels or freelance platforms to monetize your knowledge.
In today’s digital landscape, you can set up a website with hosting in a few minutes (if the tech part isn’t your jam, ask your digitally acute teenage grandchild to do it for you), and be in business before the end of today. Start by posting a few short Instagram reels, Facebook live videos, and Linked posts. If you’re video averse, start out by using the free version of Canva to post helpful tips, quotes, and stats… think, how can I add value to my target buyers?
Some call later-in-life self-employment an “encore career.” The goal is to add joy and income to your life.
Going Your Own Way, Whatever It Is
Now, granted, there is one legal tidbit you need to do like setting up a fictitious name statement with your local county Register of Deeds, which costs just a few dollars. Boom, just like that! You’re bringing value to others and making money while you’re at it.
The downside is that income from self-employment isn’t always steady, and sometimes it takes a while for your business to pick up steam, so be sure you have plenty of expendable savings or other income streams, so you don’t find yourself in a precarious financial position.
As a Book & Publishing Consultant helping new authors write and self-publish their books, I’ve found my sweet spot, my lane. I love educating my clients on the world of publishing, and I love bringing them across the finish line into being published authors. I could, and probably will, do that till the day I die.
While I’m a fan of self-employment and the freedom it brings, it isn’t for everyone, so if you’re happy in your workplace, more power to ya. Rock your position and be the best there is with a cheerful attitude.
Besides my business, I have a part-time income stream as a receptionist at a local law office. The job, as they say, fell into my lap through LinkedIn. The one and only interview question the hiring lady asked was, “With all your experience, why do you want a receptionist position? My answer? “Because at this stage of the game, I don’t want anything overly complicated. I want low-key.” I was hired the same day.
Attitude Adjustment
Third, I had to shift my attitude toward retirement. When the women at church used to ask me, “Are you retired?” I would respond with, “My retirement plan is to die.” I didn’t mean it to sound morbid; I simply meant that I love what I do so much that I don’t mind working until the day I die.
I revised my view of retirement by removing the end-date (mostly because there isn’t one) and incorporating retirement-type activities into my overall life patterns. In other words, I live a retirement lifestyle as much as possible. I plan for mini-vacations, I treat myself with a fine dining meal every so often, and since I live 10 minutes from the beach in North Carolina, during summer I take pre-dawn beach walks.
The secret is to give yourself permission to live well inside a reality that arrived uninvited. By doing this, you loosen the grip on the Plan A narrative.
My final encouragement to you if you find yourself facing Plan B is that you don’t need to untangle or solve it all today. Let it unfold naturally. Dedicate time to writing down your thoughts, create a plan that works for YOU, stay connected with your tribe and extended tribe, adjust your attitude, and learn a new language or take a dance or art class. My guess is that you’ll find a life of fulfillment and joy just around the bend.
Questions to Ponder:
If retirement isn’t an option for you, how have you adjusted your attitude and lifestyle? What positive shift can you make to create an empowered, value-driven retirement lifestyle?
