I’m no expert on women’s issues. I do, however, have women in my coaching practice, and a lot of women in my circle – sisters, in-laws, colleagues and neighbors. They talk with me. I learn. They listen, and they push back… regularly.
So, I want to offer an observation.
Scroll through social media and you’ll see it: women in their 50s, 60s, and 70s sharing selfies. Sometimes they’re polished. Sometimes casual. Sometimes joyful, reflective, or quietly proud.
And almost inevitably, a question follows – spoken or not: Why?
The assumption is often unflattering. Vanity. Insecurity. A desire for attention. But for many mature women, that interpretation misses the point entirely.
A Lifetime of Being Seen for Others
Most women over 60 did not grow up curating their lives visually.
Photos were taken for family albums, holidays, and milestones – often by someone else, for someone else. You showed up, smiled, and moved on.
For decades, many women were primarily visible as:
- someone’s wife
- someone’s mother
- someone’s caregiver
- someone’s professional contributor.
Rarely simply as themselves.
A selfie changes that dynamic. It’s self-authored. Intentional. Chosen.
It says: This moment matters to me.
The Reality of Invisibility
Here’s an uncomfortable truth many women recognize as they age: visibility diminishes. (I’ve written a couple views on this topic before.)
Public attention shifts. Media representation thins. Compliments change or disappear. You can feel present in your own life while feeling overlooked in the world.
This isn’t imagined. It’s cultural.
So, when a woman in her 60s posts a selfie, it may be responding to something very real:
“I don’t want to disappear.”
That’s not narcissism.
That’s humanity.
Selfies as Self-Determination, Not Self-Promotion
For mature women, selfies are rarely about chasing likes.
They’re more often about:
- marking a moment of confidence
- acknowledging a personal transition
- embracing gray hair, lines, and lived experience
- saying, This is who I am now.
In this sense, a selfie becomes less about appearance and more about identity.
It’s not “Look at me.”
It’s “This is me.”
Aging in a Culture That Prefers Youth
Let’s be honest: our culture is changing, but it still struggles to portray aging women well.
So, when mature women share selfies, they’re often doing something quietly powerful:
- refusing to erase themselves
- expanding what aging looks like
- normalizing presence, joy, and strength
- offering real, relatable role models.
These images don’t shout. They simply exist – and that visibility matters.
Confidence Isn’t Shallow at this Stage of Life
Yes, some women post selfies because it helps them feel confident.
After decades of being told – directly or indirectly – that aging makes women less relevant, practicing self-acceptance is not indulgent. It’s corrective.
Confidence later in life isn’t about approval.
It’s about peace.
And sometimes peace begins with allowing yourself to be seen without apology.
A Generational Shift Worth Respecting
Many mature women are doing something they were never encouraged to do before:
- take up space
- claim visibility
- define themselves without permission.
Social media happens to be the tool – but the impulse is deeper than the platform.
This is about agency.
A Thought for Women Reading This
If you’ve ever taken a selfie and hesitated before posting it – wondering what others might think – pause for a moment.
Ask a different question:
Why am I uncomfortable being visible now?
You’ve spent decades showing up for others. You’ve earned the right to show up for yourself. A selfie doesn’t need to prove youth, beauty, or relevance.
Sometimes, it simply says: I’m still here – and I’m not done.
And that, at any age, is worth honoring.
Let’s Have a Conversation:
Do you take selfies? How do you choose when and where to take a photo? What do selfies mean to you?
