Preparing for the opportunities of life’s second half is an empowering process. Whether it’s working with an attorney to draw up legal documents, sitting down with a financial advisor to calculate retirement expenses, or connecting with a healthcare provider to help manage health and wellness, marking tasks off our Golden Years to-do list now feels good and makes a big difference down the road.
But there are three chores on the checklist that make an even bigger difference for the people we love. Let’s look at those items now and learn why completing them is such a generous act.
Think On and Write Up Your Last Will and Testament, and Review It with an Attorney
Composing a last will and testament is essential work. This document will instruct your executor how to handle your affairs and distribute your estate when you are gone. It is my personal opinion that most people should pay a legal professional, an estate planning attorney in particular, to draw up a will that is legitimate, acceptable and executable.
Having said that, it is still time well spent to consider the contents of your estate and your wishes and who will inherit whatever assets you leave behind. An article in Forbes magazine shares some direction on what specifics to include in your will should you elect to write it yourself, as well as guidance on other services or professionals to utilize.
To find an estate planning attorney, this video from the American College of Trust and Estate Counsel provides some helpful advice on where to start. Having an official will means your loved ones will not have to endure too much turbulence after your passing, including drawn-out probate matters, lawsuits and other disputes. Making it all clear ahead of time is a real gift to your friends and family, many of whom will be struggling over your loss.
Write an Ethical Will and File It with Your Collection of Important Documents
An ethical will is defined as a document that “articulates the deceased’s values, beliefs, wisdom, and parting thoughts. An ethical will can also provide thoughtful words from the deceased that can be read at his or her memorial service,” according to the American Academy of Estate Planning Attorneys.
Unlike a last will and testament, it is not a legal document. But used in conjunction with legal documents, the ethical will can communicate your wishes in no uncertain terms – in language that is personal, clear and meaningful to its recipients. New York-based MJHS Health System features an easy-to-use worksheet for writing an ethical will. This is a great place to get started writing your own.
Pen an Obituary or at Least Compose an Informational Framework for It
The mission of writing, or outlining, your obituary is a real labor of love. Like most important life tasks, this process begins with reflection.
I, for example, might sit down at the beach with a hefty pour of chardonnay. Whatever your best-case thinking place looks like, go there and get busy itemizing your major life events, achievements, and people who have been meaningful in your life. Think about your values and beliefs and how you want to be remembered.
Start with the basics. At a minimum, highlight a few dates, times, and places. Consider graduation and wedding dates, names of your parents, siblings, spouses, and children, degrees you may have achieved and when (and from where!), places you worked, and organizations important to you. Maybe some significant accomplishments define you, so write those down, too!
Was travel your thing? Reflect on a few trips that influenced your life in some way. If you already have written down life highlights, but did so many years ago, think about dusting off your composition and updating it now and again. Giving thought and framework to your life story is an empowering way to take control of your narrative and leave a lasting impression on your loved ones. It allows you to preserve your legacy in a way that genuinely reflects who you are and how you want to be remembered.
And don’t forget the final, most critical step of your important papers prep work: file this paperwork away with the other essential documents your loved ones will need to access in your absence – and tell them where it’s all located. Tell them more than once! Remind them often! Writing out your final wishes and life story and storing them somewhere safe is a beautiful gift to your loved ones.
Let’s Have a Conversation:
Have you written a will, an ethical will, or the contents of your obituary? Was it hard to do? How did it make you feel?
